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The right thing to do
Yew shoulda killed 'im. *spits*
surprise sex maybe
Introduce him to dragonforce
Let piccolo take care of it
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  • Locked thread
Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

I just ran outta smokes in the middle of the night and wanted a bit of a break from the rear end-sitting, so I decided to walk to the local bodega. No sweat. Had myself a fine little walk except its humid as gently caress so I got a little soggy. No biggie.

But on the way back to my apartment i took the wooded, creek side of the building rather than the cement, parking lot side. And I guess I disturbed some buck's dinnertime because he gave me that pissy little chuff deer do, out in the shadows, really loud. But I wasnt putting up with any of that poo poo. "gently caress you!" I told him, ignoring his continuing presence as he stared me down, contemplating a charge.

That idiot better watch out. I'm in my thirties and chiller than I used to be, but I've killed a deer for less. poo poo I been murdering deer since I was ten years old when daddy still had to come with me. I'm basically a lapsed deer serial killer. And while I might seem calm and fine now, who knows what could set me off? Like for example some mouthy enjoyable human being cuck deer gettin pissy with me right outside my home!

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Lamebot
Sep 8, 2005

ロボ顔菌~♡


hrrmm yase indeed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVuYhaW3Dkk

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.


See this is what happens when you decide u gonna take their poo poo just because theyre deer. Heeeeeell naw. Seriously considering whipping up some fava beans and a nice KEY ANT EEY over here. Thlurpurpurprup!

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Oh and before anyone sez "did you watch the video? How are you planning on killing this deer if he fucks with you any more!"

Good question. It's true, deer ARE fleet as gently caress and if a big buck wants to gently caress you up, they usually can. But deer have a huge weakness: they never invented firearms.

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.


*homer simpson voice* D'oe!

Over There
Jun 28, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 15 days!


I saw a deer this morning

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009



I once knew a dirty mouthed deer. Very dirty. Extremely dirty. Like, dirtier than most porn tagged dirty talk. Every I'm I would pull into my driveway it would keep saying things like "hey, I see your horn" and "I'd ram that!" But it would never stop there. It usually starts kind of tame, but by the time I get to my door he's out there yelling some things I know are racist, and others I'm almost positive are incredibly racist. He's he reason I found out deer have this thing called double hooving, in vivid detail. Deer had serious game.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



Uh that's like a mating thing dude, that little huff they do. Why don't you just have sex with him so I don't have to call you a homophobe in front of all these nice children.

VikingSkull
Jan 23, 2017

Silent Majority
THE UNDERBOSS





deer rut in the fall, not spring

Gay Weed Dad
Jul 12, 2016

cool dude, flyin' high


I saw an episode of "When Animals Attack" in which a woman had her face caved in by a deer while she was jogging. Perhaps it is you who was let off easy, this dude is on his forum of choice talking about how he almost "Matthew Shep'd" some guy for talking like a sissy while smoking. Really makes you think about what an amazing world we live in...

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.


Zorodius posted:

*homer simpson voice* D'oe!

A deer!

myDad
Jan 20, 2010

ceci n'est pas mon père

College Slice

I wouldn't want to fight a deer

Repo Man
Nov 19, 2005


Gay Weed Dad posted:

I saw an episode of "When Animals Attack" in which a woman had her face caved in by a deer while she was jogging. Perhaps it is you who was let off easy, this dude is on his forum of choice talking about how he almost "Matthew Shep'd" some guy for talking like a sissy while smoking. Really makes you think about what an amazing world we live in...

Could've been worse...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0ZoMK7J2os

Gay Weed Dad
Jul 12, 2016

cool dude, flyin' high




This seems like it would be worse than needing facial reconstructive surgery only because those chicks seem basic as gently caress. Apparently deer hooves can be quite sharp and filthy so it is no good if they actually get you when they hear you running your bitch mouth.

Skeleton Ape
Dec 21, 2008

The most richly flavored of all drunkards.

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Uh that's like a mating thing dude, that little huff they do.

No it is not. That means "I see you, predator, GTFO".

EvilJoven
Mar 18, 2005

The Parisian-inspired streets of Winnipeg are no match for my status-defining pickup truck.


Fun Shoe

Deer are basically large vermin in a lot of the north but people get poo poo on for hunting them now thanks to Bambi.

Skeleton Ape
Dec 21, 2008

The most richly flavored of all drunkards.

Deer are those things you shoot when you've already filled your elk tag

Repo Man
Nov 19, 2005


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ln1ucGoPvWk

unpleasantly turgid
Jul 6, 2016

Oh gee oh golly oh god fucking damnit


Zorodius posted:

*homer simpson voice* D'oe!

D'oh*

Dr Cox MD
Sep 11, 2001

Listen Up, Newbies.

Skeleton Ape posted:

No it is not. That means "I see you, predator, GTFO".

Coolness Averted
Feb 20, 2007

Donald, Donald, you've been a good vehicle and I've enjoyed the ride. But now he's weak and full of holes. It's almost time to shuffle off to Buffalo!



A female deer!

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



Skeleton Ape posted:

No it is not. That means "I see you, predator, GTFO".

Idk dude deer don't run when they see me. They just look like "wtf is that?" and then go about their poo poo. Bears, cats, they run the hell off.

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!

Whatever the systemic roots of the problem are, the best solution at this point is to shoot a bunch of deer. They're full of tasty meat, they're not going to go extinct, there's literally no reason to be against killing deer beyond being overly sentimental or contrarian.

Also gently caress deer forever. They're a god damned menace and more of them need to be killed as often as possible. The hunter from Bambi is film's greatest hero. They are all tick-infested, disease-spreading pieces of poo poo and a bullet to the heart is too clean a death for those walking piles of genetic failure. They are like a horse on meth, all jittery and skittish all the loving time. They're disgusting and repulsive and they make sounds like the souls of aborted babies in hell make when they gasp for air as they rise up from a lake of boiling blood.

In short, murder all deer. Then eat them. They taste good for a reason.

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!

For further proof:

Only registered members can see post attachments!

myDad
Jan 20, 2010

ceci n'est pas mon père

College Slice

geez have some respect

Wamdoodle
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

Grimey Drawer

I'm a deer IRL and here's what I think of your grandstanding:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErflxFDf6eQ

Quit smoking in the forest! I know Smokey the Bear!

myDad
Jan 20, 2010

ceci n'est pas mon père

College Slice

Wamdoodle posted:

I'm a deer IRL and here's what I think of your grandstanding:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErflxFDf6eQ

Quit smoking in the forest! I know Smokey the Bear!

lmao

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

EorayMel posted:

For further proof:



Yeah, word. Stupid to talk poo poo when you have this much tasty meat inside you. Hes lucky he didnt also do that angry little jackasss stomp they do. I would have started chewing on his backstrap then and there.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



EorayMel posted:

For further proof:


Nadia Van Der Donk

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Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



OP the deer was out dogging and you didn't reciprocate in the way it expected

probably messed with its head quite a lot

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