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Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Interstellar Corporation and if you give me a bigger and faster ship than Crazycryodude I will say whatever you want me to in regards to whether or not this is Expanse related.

Also I like The Expanse it's my favorite sci fi show.

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Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Crazycryodude posted:

Give Cathode and I joint command of a ship and let us go on a crusade to save the Space Whales.

This is a good idea!

What are our chances, roughly, of discovering aliens that might be approximately described as "Space Whales"? Will we find them on Pluto or will we have to go further? What is the current state of the non-space whales on earth?

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Just so you know I might defect to the first aliens we meet at the very first opportunity.

Actually forget I said that.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

I haven't posted in a while but I also endorse the Scorched Earth Saturn Plan.

Where's my light carrier? Am I still alive or am I a corpsicle floating in space like Mukaikubo?

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

The lack of oxygen precludes setting all of Saturn on fire.

I think we should do as the hardliner says and drop marines all over the place. For the glory of Marskind.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Pharnakes posted:

If they won't surrender to our ground forces in a reasonable time, we nuke them until they either do or they're all dead. The IC showed no compunction at striking at the terraformers, why should we show them any mercy? Strikes on the terraformers is not only a strike at our civilian population today, it is an attack at every civilian who ever will live on Mars. The loss of a few million corporate drones in an office block somewhere is not only proportionate, it is in my eyes a mercy to free them from the drudgery of their wage slave existence.

Pharnakes brings up some good points regarding IC and their perfidy. We should not bother overmuch about these or any megacorp stooges.

Try not to think of them as people. As soon as we figure out how to get enough oxygen to Saturn to set it on fire, we'll probably do that.

For the glory of Marskind, and in accordance with the purity of our precious bodily fluids, which came from melted ice caps on holy Mars and nowhere else, except for maybe a comet that one time.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

I would feel better about it if these cryodudes were IC execs but if they're strictly ordinary people I can't really get behind killing even a few thousand of them, and it sounds like if we detach the pods we lower our chance of success and endanger the marines.

It pains me to have to vote anti-hardliner even in this one instance but we must abort.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Friend Commuter

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Saros posted:

Two more days pass and everyone except the main Triton force is assembled. Suddenly a small active sensor pops up in their path belonging to one of the class of fighter-scouts previously faced near Neptune! The IC must have tracked the thermals of a big ship like the carrier Minotaur incoming before they reduced speed and sent scouts out to investigate.

Don't you dare blame me for this

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Dr. Snark posted:

I mean we expected them to detect us, that was part of the plan to begin with.

Well then don't mention my less-than-stellar understanding of the plan to the Fleet Archon. I'm trying to keep my command long enough to either get promoted to Fleet Archon myself or to defect to the first non-insectoid/non-jellyfish aliens we meet, whichever comes first.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Yes but they don't respect boundaries and they get their tendrils all over you and you get all stung up.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

@SpaceWhales

Do you like terraforming? Can you tell us how to terraform planet 4 so that it's more like planet 3? Don't actually do it, just tell us how to do it.

Do you like missiles? Can you teach us better missiles, and also how not to get missiled ourselves? Some of my friends have gotten missiled and are corpses now and we'd like to minimize that going forward.

Do you like people? Do your people die sometimes? If not, how do they not die? Can you help us not die?

Edit: Also, you mentioned your coalition favors peace, which is good, and discovery, which is also good, but you mentioned breach containment, which we find confusing. Can you tell us more about this breach or these breaches as well as your coalition's containment measures?

Cathode Raymond fucked around with this message at Jul 26, 2017 around 16:59

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Maybe once we conquer IC we'll come across a giant warehouse full of duranium that they held back from the market for price fixing purposes.

You know, like what DeBeers does with diamonds, or those villainous French Canadians do with maple syrup.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Telsa Cola posted:

I misread this as us removing and transplanting the alien ruins to Mars so that we could "discover" it and lead a political unification of the system. Which is a great book idea for us to do right now

FTFY

If there are no objections, I think I should represent the Martian fleet as my predilection for defecting to nearly any alien species proves that I'm not xenophobic.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

EDIT: Update on previous page.

Look at all you short sighted chumps planning ship designs to prepare for war with Terra. I'm already planning to defect to to go to war against the Upspace/Downspace/Sidespace Aliens.

I mean they may have already wiped out Facility's coalition and Facility is way smarter than Terra.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

I volunteer every brave pilot in my fighter wing to fight the Horror from Beyond. Park the Minotaur just close enough to drop them off, then head full speed sunward. Turn off the radio and don't look back.

Also I think the current Fleet Archon should lead a diplomatic envoy to the Horror head of state, along with everyone in the line of succession between me and the office of Fleet Archon.

Actually forget what I said about the fighters, I'm not heading out there. The Fleet Archon totally should, though.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Pash posted:

I believe worst case would be that they lead the elder gods to Sol system, not that they lose some scouts...

...but they would eat Earth first, right? Probably?

If they eat Earth first, then, for a brief moment, Mars will have won the Sol wars!

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

When the arrive to devour Earth, I, for one, will greet them as liberators.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Friend Commuter posted:

My only regret is that I had but one life to give for my planet.

Easy for you to say, you're dead already.

My only regret is signing up for Mars Fleet during the brief, dangerous window of time after shooting started in Sol but before we encountered a super-advanced peaceful alien species to defect to.

Not that I would ever do that.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Kommando posted:

zoom!
What are the specs of my fighter?

Pretty sure you're probably in a Deimos

code:
Deimos class Fighter    477 tons     4 Crew     72.4 BP      TCS 9.54  TH 48  EM 0
5031 km/s     Armour 1-5     Shields 0-0     Sensors 1/1/0/0     Damage Control Rating 0     PPV 4
Maint Life 0 Years     MSP 0    AFR 95%    IFR 1.3%    1YR 7    5YR 101    Max Repair 15 MSP
Intended Deployment Time: 0.1 months    Spare Berths 0    

SpaceX Fighter 16 EP Nuclear Pulse Engine (3)    Power 16    Fuel Use 392.02%    Signature 16    Exp 20%
Fuel Capacity 5,000 Litres    Range 0.5 billion km   (26 hours at full power)

Orion 15cm C2 Plasma Carronade (1)    Range 48,000km     TS: 5031 km/s     Power 6-2     RM 1    ROF 15
SpaceX Fire Control S00.2 24-2000 H70 (FTR) (1)    Max Range: 48,000 km   TS: 8000 km/s
CSL Pebble Bed Reactor Technology PB-1.15 (1)     Total Power Output 2.07    Armour 0    Exp 12%

Mao-Kowalski Fighter Search Sensor MR0-R8 (70%) (1)     GPS 13     Range 360k km    Resolution 8

ECM 10
I'm glad you're excited but I wouldn't get too attached to your fighter. Or yourself, for that matter. Life is cheap out here.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Dr. Snark posted:

I should hope I'm at upper command at minimum, I'm a goddamn war hero after leading the kills of those IC carriers

But seriously thanks, I could have sworn I was somewhere else but, uh, obviously I'm not.

Don't think that just because we're the same rank that I consider you a peer. I'm known system wide for my military acumen and my unswerving devotion to Marskind, while your loyalty is suspect at best. I constantly and loudly talk about how I would never defect to an alien race at the very first opportunity, while you remain silent on the matter.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

*pulls off his mask*

It was me! I was the Triumvir the whole time!

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

The IC admiral/general/spokesperson/executive is displaying bot-like behavior but far more troubling is that she did not address either Snark or me with the proper honorifics. She just called us "Martians". I think on that basis alone we should reject the offer.

We should probably make the argument to these IC execs that they should just turn their fleets around and get out of the space business. I mean, whether it's us or it's Terra that does them in, it's pretty much assured that they'll be back to selling penny stocks and reading Ayn Rand novels before long the way things are going. If they don't get missiled or militia'd to death that is. Maybe some of the ones under the robots would even be willing to defect.


God that IC stooge was rude, wasn't she? Bunch of garbage-tier civilizations in this system. No manners. Could almost make someone want to defect to the first alien species we encounter.

Not that I would ever do anything like that.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Instead of fixing all those smashed up internals, would it be possible to hollow out some of that space in the BC and put a hangar in there?

Also, could we take some of the lesser ships' hulls and attach them to the BC in a catamaran/trimaran type fashion?

I guess what I'm asking is could we repair all of the broken IC ships, stick them all together into one big super ship and then give it to me?

I'm just brainstorming, there are no bad ideas in brainstorming.

EDIT: We could name the pontoons after brave Martians who died during the battle, i.e. the Colonel Pash Memorial Missile Pontoon.

Cathode Raymond fucked around with this message at Sep 5, 2017 around 17:30

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Dr. Snark posted:

Oi! As your equivalent ranking officer I have just as much right to that ship as you.

There is only one way to settle this: the honored art of dibs. Which I have called right now on the biggest ship salvaged. Dibs, no takebacks.


Serpentis posted:

Hey! I think you'll find as the one who came up with the General Motors name I've as much right to that space-hulk-in-the-making as you two!

Do bear in mind that if I can't have it my enthusiasm for this project getting built goes from a deep passion to just a vague preference.

Also, it's exactly this kind of treatment that would make a Martian officer defect to the first alien race we encounter at the very first opportunity. Not that I would ever do something like that.


Friend Commuter posted:

Y'know, this big old pile of hulks would make a pretty good foundation for the Titanian Free Navy, especially since they've got an ex-IC shipyard.

Oh you are just the worst type of person for even suggesting this.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

I am relieved that this new system is not awash in tentacle monsters, as I thought it would be.

B, and furthermore I move that the sixth planet be named Phobos Redux and it's moons be named Cathode and Raymond.

I think we should probably get a stranglehold on Uranus and try to grab up all the sorium we can since it looks like this new system has no gas giants. Does jumping require sorium or is it powered by something else?

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Pharnakes posted:

B is indeed a no brainier as presented, so why are the Terrans even offering it? What do they know that we don't?

It's possible that with this new jump technology they would rather go jumping around the galaxy and have us do the same and spend most of our respective energies doing that rather than, you know, firing missiles at each other constantly until we're all dead.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Synthbuttrange posted:



Artists rendering of Planet 5

So...pretty much exactly like Saturn...?

Getting killed by a missile barrage is not that different from getting killed by Void Horrors is what I'm saying.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

I told you once we went through the jump point it would be wall to wall tentacles. "Tentacles for miles, it'll be tentacles and more tentacles, tentacles all the way down!" I said. "Promote me to Fleet Archon so I can mix us up some tentacle seeking jump missiles!"

Or at least I meant to say that.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

We've got to colonize the ruin planet, space tentacles or no.

We've never been able to exercise discretion or restraint. Let's face it. We've only ever been greedy and listless. We grab up everything we can get our filthy mits on. Our only hope against these or any aliens - and the only method we've ever known - is to keep stacking atrocity upon atrocity and hope that we turn out to be the biggest monsters in the end.


This is going to come as a huge surprise to all of you but there was a time when I aspired to encounter a friendly alien race to defect to. I am now coming to the conclusion that all the worthwhile aliens have probably been devoured by the less worthwhile ones.

So I propose we do what we always do, which is grab up everything we can, burn down what we can't grab, then kill anything that looks at us sideways, or die in the attempt.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Let's be careful about throwing around accusations about who's been brainwormed. I'd hate for certain Martian officials and officers to be accused of brainworm just because they work for a shady agency, or just because they may have considered defecting to an alien species/coalition of species at some point

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

You know who I think might be brainwormed? The Fleet Archon. I think we should elect a new Interim Fleet Archon whose responsibilities will include:

1) Determining whether the previous Fleet Archon is brainwormed or otherwise unfit for Archonship of the Fleet
2) All duties of the office of Fleet Archon, probably definitely forever

I nominate myself for this position.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Crazyeyes24 posted:

This tangent is really starting to make my head hurt. Can't we just resume our gradual takover of the system yet?

You know what else might be making your head hurt? Brainworms!

But seriously in the near term we should

1). Survey the new system for jump points and TNE's before we plan exactly how to utilize it
2). Start thinking about ship designs for the next generation of ships (i.e., jump capable fleets)
3). Don't say a GODDAM thing to Putin. Putin is still our biggest threat. When tentacles start flailing out of the UT jump point, THEN we will happily* come to his** aid.

*begrudgingly
**maybe we should kill Putin if Void Monster invasion presents us with the opportunity

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Real lowest bidder job on that jump drive there.

We should really put a pharmaceutical-style black box warning on those things until we can be sure we've ironed all the kinks out.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

We should handle Jump Syndrome the same way the NFL handles head trauma: deny its existence for an unconscionably long time, long after it's become obvious to everyone else that it's a major problem.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Maybe we should just send frozen embryos and some robots to raise them to adulthood.

I'm sure being raised by machines amongst the ruins of a dead alien civilization will yield a fine generation of Martians.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

This is pthighs call as we are back in Sol. You know, Sol? The one with the planet all our ancestors are from? The one that we have built into one big missile barrage masquerading as a system? We're in that one, and pthighs can't hear us, so only pthigh's vote matters

pthighs posted:

Turn on actives

Also take a couple of hits of acid and remove pants

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

pthighs posted:

Eh, I prefer a vote as a way to avoid blame responsibility.

If it makes you feel any better, when you signed up for survey duty you basically volunteered to be tentacle bait, so I doubt historians will view you with anything other than pity, no matter what you do.

Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

I don't have any meaningful input on foreign relations yet but I would like to announce that I am renouncing my former religion of Marscetarianism to start the Exalted Church of the Facility, with me as First Saint and Honorable Steward of Facility's Precepts.

The Precepts are as follows:

1). Revere Facility over all lesser facilities. Speaketh never the name of a lesser facility unless in scorn.
2). Deliver unto Facility the many tons of duranium Facility needs.

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Cathode Raymond
Dec 30, 2015

My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.


Soiled Meat

Give Putin an exploding cigar.

Wait, was that an actual Kill Castro scheme or a Looney Tunes gag? Or both?

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