The CYOA You Can't Refuse: Let's Play Life of a Mobster

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > The CYOA You Can't Refuse: Let's Play Life of a Mobster

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Luhood: Nov 13, 2012

Avalerion posted:

Let's play it nice and casual, all other options seem kind of risky: Easy fella, put the gun away.

We're a cashy-talky linda gal, no point doing something stupid. Easy now, put it down!

# ? Jun 9, 2017 21:10

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 05:27

VivaLa Eeveelution: Apr 3, 2011

Of course there's people out back. People who work out. And have belts in punchy fighty stuff.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 02:37

Lord Cyrahzax: Oct 11, 2012

quote:

The man ignored me as his eyes searched the room frantically. His gaze settled on a small broom closet which he opened and went inside. The door barely closed before two more men stepped into the room.
(Persuasion +5)

They were both large and one of them had a tattoo of barbed wire around his biceps. They also had guns. The tattooed man levelled his piece at me while the other searched the laundromat. He checked the locked door of the manager's office and the empty bathrooms, but found nothing. He briefly rattled the handle of the broom closet, but it also appeared to be locked.

"You see a guy run by here?" the man with the gun said, aiming it right at me.

"I've been the only one here for the last hour," I lied.

I moved quickly, pulling the gun from the man's hand.

I said nothing.

quote:

Renata Vercic-Capone, a business student living in a dormitory at school.
Age: 20
Money: $3200

SKILLS:
Athletics: 5%
Automobiles: 0%
Fighting: 10%
Finance: 20%
Firearms: 0%
Intimidation: 5%
Legal: 0%
Medical: 10%
Perception: 5%
Persuasion: 30%
Streetwise: 0%
Subterfuge: 15%
Technology: 0%

REPUTATION
Police: 45%
Citizen: 90%
Criminal: 50%

RELATIONSHIPS

My childhood friend:
Taylor: 65%
My childhood sweetheart and girlfriend:
Christine: 95%
A childhood acquaintance:
Alexis: 50%
Caporegime of the Montana Family:
"Four Finger" Nelson Harcourt: 50%

# ? Jun 10, 2017 12:46

SystemLogoff: Feb 19, 2011; End Session?

"I've been the only one here for the last hour," I lied.

We're going to be the best liar in the world.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 12:56

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

Don't think we have the skills for gun snatching so just lie.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 14:03

where the red fern gropes: Aug 24, 2011

is that for me? thanks!

# ? Jun 10, 2017 15:23

Lord Cyrahzax: Oct 11, 2012

quote:

I must have looked sincere because the two men eyed me for a few more seconds and then rushed out of the laundromat. I saw them sprint down the street, no doubt intending to check every building as they went. The dark-haired man stepped out of the closet a moment later.
(Subterfuge +5 and Nelson Relationship +5)

"You did good, kid," the man said as he approached me. "Do you know who I am?"

I admitted that I didn't. That was the day I met Four Finger Nelson Harcourt, a caporegime of the Montana Family. He told me that if I ever needed anything, any type of favor, all I had to do was ask.

I went back to my dorm at school and googled all sorts of Mafia sites shortly after that. I learned that New Daria was home to the Five Families: The Sato Family, the Smirnov Family, the Rossi Family, the Martinez Family, and the Montana Family. I learned that a capo is a captain and only one level below the boss himself.

Four Finger Nelson Harcourt was one of ten caporegimes who worked directly under Terrence "Silver Dollar" De Luca, one of the most wanted men in America. Although he wasn't the one to have founded the Montana Family, he was the current boss.

I went to Nelson Harcourt the very next day to ask for a job.

I had no choice but to see Nelson Harcourt when Taylor got into some serious trouble.

Surprisingly, it was my kind and sweet-hearted girlfriend Christine that made me join the mob.

quote:

Renata Vercic-Capone, a business student living in a dormitory at school.
Age: 20
Money: $3200

SKILLS:
Athletics: 5%
Automobiles: 0%
Fighting: 10%
Finance: 20%
Firearms: 0%
Intimidation: 5%
Legal: 0%
Medical: 10%
Perception: 5%
Persuasion: 30%
Streetwise: 0%
Subterfuge: 20%
Technology: 0%

REPUTATION
Police: 45%
Citizen: 90%
Criminal: 50%
Montana Family: 50%
Sato Family: 50%
Smirnov Family: 50%
Rossi Family: 50%
Martinez Family: 50%

RELATIONSHIPS

My childhood friend:
Taylor: 65%
My childhood sweetheart and girlfriend:
Christine: 95%
A childhood acquaintance:
Alexis: 50%
Caporegime of the Montana Family:
"Four Finger" Nelson Harcourt: 55%
Boss of the Montana Family:
Terrence "Silver Dollar" De Luca: 50%

# ? Jun 10, 2017 22:19

achtungnight: Oct 5, 2014; I get my fun here. Enjoy!

Been following this thread as a lurker and enjoying it.

Let me be the first to say the only option here is kind-hearted Christine making you join the mob . I can hardly wait to see how that happens.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 23:43

Luhood: Nov 13, 2012

achtungnight posted:

Let me be the first to say the only option here is kind-hearted Christine making you join the mob . I can hardly wait to see how that happens.

Yeah I really wanna run this ship into the ground! Our beloved Christine will have something to say about this, and that's final!

# ? Jun 10, 2017 23:58

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

You never really know someone, do you, Christine?

# ? Jun 11, 2017 01:02

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

I'm also curious how the Christine option will turn out.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 01:41

Mr_Autoshades: Dec 5, 2016

ultrafilter posted:

I'm also curious how the Christine option will turn out.

I think That we're of one mind about our lovely Christine

# ? Jun 11, 2017 03:26

Lord Cyrahzax: Oct 11, 2012

Okay, I'm going to give it to Christine a little early.

quote:

She was working at a coffee shop while putting herself through school. Even more ironically, it was a cop that began causing her troubles. It started out innocently enough, with the officer asking her out on dates and flirting with her while she worked. Christine held up well, telling the cop that she was already seeing someone.

Unfortunately, one night I was at the shop, waiting for Christine's shift to end. The cop was a short, fat, ugly man with little pig-eyes. He was reaching across the counter and grabbing my girlfriend's rear end right in front of me.

I kindly asked the cop to stop.

I launched myself at the officer.

quote:

Renata Vercic-Capone, a business student living in a dormitory at school.
Age: 20
Money: $3200

SKILLS:
Athletics: 5%
Automobiles: 0%
Fighting: 10%
Finance: 20%
Firearms: 0%
Intimidation: 5%
Legal: 0%
Medical: 10%
Perception: 5%
Persuasion: 30%
Streetwise: 0%
Subterfuge: 20%
Technology: 0%

REPUTATION
Police: 45%
Citizen: 90%
Criminal: 50%
Montana Family: 50%
Sato Family: 50%
Smirnov Family: 50%
Rossi Family: 50%
Martinez Family: 50%

RELATIONSHIPS

My childhood friend:
Taylor: 65%
My childhood sweetheart and girlfriend:
Christine: 95%
A childhood acquaintance:
Alexis: 50%
Caporegime of the Montana Family:
"Four Finger" Nelson Harcourt: 55%
Boss of the Montana Family:
Terrence "Silver Dollar" De Luca: 50%

# ? Jun 11, 2017 03:41

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

We're a lier, not a fighter

# ? Jun 11, 2017 03:47

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

The Lone Badger posted:

We're a lier, not a fighter

Yes.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 04:05

achtungnight: Oct 5, 2014; I get my fun here. Enjoy!

Always ask them to stop before you kick their rear end. It's polite and gives them a chance to further prove their stupidity and justify your retaliation.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 05:18

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

achtungnight posted:

Always ask them to stop before you kick their rear end. It's polite and gives them a chance to further prove their stupidity and justify your retaliation.

This.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 07:36

wedgekree: Feb 20, 2013

ASK then punch.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 07:53

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

Give him the chance to not be a waste of flesh. We know he'll probably throw it away but there's always room in the world for surprises.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 07:59

Luhood: Nov 13, 2012

I'm sure it'll give us a penalty towards Christine for doing this, but it is what we would've done. Ask the pig to go be his piggy fat self somewhere else!

# ? Jun 11, 2017 10:33

Mr_Autoshades: Dec 5, 2016

I really think we're one to use our words not our fists.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 12:45

Lord Cyrahzax: Oct 11, 2012

quote:

This only made it worse. As soon as he heard me, he increased his unwanted advances. His fellow officers thought it was a grand joke and laughed at our troubles. I briefly considered calling the cops, but I knew that they'd just stick up for their own, so I called Nelson instead.

He must have bribed them really well, because they immediately stopped coming to the coffee shop, yet were all smiles when they saw me on the street. I knew that those dirty cops were just biding their time to get back at me and would be nothing but trouble when the bribe money ended, so I decided to tie myself closer to the Montana Family for protection. In retrospect, maybe it was just an excuse.
(Christine Relationship +10, Police Reputation +5, and Persuasion +5)

Four Finger Nelson did most of his business from a smoky bowling alley downtown called Lucky Lanes. The sounds of balls rolling down the alleys resounded loudly as I walked past several large men with beady eyes. When I told them my name, they stepped back and let me through.

"Good to see you again," Nelson said from a seat behind a small round table.

He was drinking from a glass with brown liquid, whisky or scotch, I think. The other men were all quiet as I approached. They said nothing as I asked him for a job. He paused for a minute, looking me up and down.

"Done!" he said after a moment's deliberation.

I got my stuff out of my dorm later that night and stopped going to classes. I knew I'd have a lot of explaining to do to my parents and girlfriend Christine. My new life as an associate for the Montana Family had begun.

quote:

I got an apartment near Lucky Lanes. It wasn't much to look at, but it was my own and it was home. Nelson told me to buy a car and meet a guy named Jimmy Rockford.

I made a down payment on a souped up Ford Mustang. (Needs $1500)

I made a down payment on a fuel-efficient Tesla Model S electric car. (Needs $1000)

I made a down payment on a sturdy Ford F-150 pickup truck. (Needs $500)

I made a down payment on a bright yellow Volkswagen Beetle. (Needs $300)

I made a down payment on an old Dodge Caravan minivan. (Needs $200)

All I could afford was a rusted-out Honda Civic hatchback.

quote:

Renata Vercic-Capone, an associate for the Montana Family living in a small apartment near Lucky Lanes.
Age: 20
Money: $3200

SKILLS:
Athletics: 5%
Automobiles: 0%
Fighting: 10%
Finance: 20%
Firearms: 0%
Intimidation: 5%
Legal: 0%
Medical: 10%
Perception: 5%
Persuasion: 35%
Streetwise: 0%
Subterfuge: 20%
Technology: 0%

REPUTATION
Police: 50%
Citizen: 90%
Criminal: 50%
Montana Family: 50%
Sato Family: 50%
Smirnov Family: 50%
Rossi Family: 50%
Martinez Family: 50%

RELATIONSHIPS

My childhood friend:
Taylor: 65%
My childhood sweetheart and girlfriend:
Christine: 100%
Caporegime of the Montana Family:
"Four Finger" Nelson Harcourt: 55%
Boss of the Montana Family:
Terrence "Silver Dollar" De Luca: 50%
Soldier of the Montana Family:
Jimmy "The Carrot" Rockford: 50%

# ? Jun 11, 2017 15:04

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Tesla

# ? Jun 11, 2017 15:29

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

Ford Mustang, what's the point of all this money if we don't live large.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 15:32

Z the IVth: Jan 28, 2009; The trouble with your "expendable machines"; Fun Shoe

Tesla - we're supposed to be smart.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 16:59

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

Avalerion posted:

Ford Mustang, what's the point of all this money if we don't live large.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 18:17

Mr_Autoshades: Dec 5, 2016

edit: changed below

Mr_Autoshades fucked around with this message at 22:57 on Jun 11, 2017

# ? Jun 11, 2017 19:02

achtungnight: Oct 5, 2014; I get my fun here. Enjoy!

We don't know what we're using the car for yet, just that it's probably a criminal enterprise. Therefore we should plan for something that we can afford, doesn't stand out too much, and can speed up in a hurry if there's trouble.

The Mustang fits all these criteria.

The Tesla is a good car for the future- but it's distinctive since not everyone has electric cars yet, and I don't know much about its speed capability. Therefore I have to choose the Mustang over it. Personally I'm a pickup man, but this is not a car for me personally.

achtungnight fucked around with this message at 21:00 on Jun 11, 2017

# ? Jun 11, 2017 19:02

Luhood: Nov 13, 2012

Z the IVth posted:

Tesla - we're supposed to be smart.

We went to business school and have all the talk and walk needed. Why go with the great penis extension of a Mustang when we can go with a proper brain extension instead? Tesla all the way!

# ? Jun 11, 2017 20:21

BDA: Dec 10, 2007; Extremely grim and evil.

achtungnight posted:

The Tesla is a good car for the future- but it's distinctive since not everyone has electric cars yet, and I don't know much about its speed capability.

The weird badge is the only thing that distinguishes a Model S from the other 10,000 luxury sedans on the road. They're very nondescript.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 21:28

Mr_Autoshades: Dec 5, 2016

Just realized that We are a business student who played Lacross in High School. In addition, we spend a lot of time in Coffee Shops. Definitely switching to the Tesla.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 22:56

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

Tesla

# ? Jun 11, 2017 22:57

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Mr_Autoshades posted:

Just realized that We are a business student who played Lacross in High School. In addition, we spend a lot of time in Coffee Shops. Definitely switching to the Tesla.

We're also a lesbian.
(Unless that's redundant with lacrosse)

# ? Jun 12, 2017 00:51

poisonpill: Nov 8, 2009; The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.

We're joining the mob ironically

# ? Jun 12, 2017 02:15

Lord Cyrahzax: Oct 11, 2012

quote:

It was one of those electric cars that ran on a battery. It was amazingly cheap to drive and very good for the environment.
(Lost $1000 and gained the Tesla)

Jimmy "The Carrot" Rockford was a 40-year-old health nut from New Daria. I met him for the first time at a diner called Wilma's that wasn't too far from the Lucky Lanes. He was a "made man," which meant that he'd been initiated and accepted into the Montana Family. That meant that he was untouchable. If anyone messed with Jimmy, without Silver Dollar's okay, they were worm food.

I, on the other hand, was an associate. That meant that I was little more than a tool for the real mobsters. I was disposable and had no pull besides my connections to some important people. Jimmy was waiting for me with an egg-white omelette, whole wheat toast with no butter, and orange juice instead of coffee.

"Hey, Renata, have a seat."

I ordered quinoa oatmeal with agave syrup and a glass of soy milk.

I ordered the special.

I ordered a black coffee and nothing else.

quote:

Renata Vercic-Capone, an associate for the Montana Family living in a small apartment near Lucky Lanes.
Age: 20
Money: $2200

PRIZED POSSESSIONS:
- A fuel-efficient Tesla Model S electric car.

SKILLS:
Athletics: 5%
Automobiles: 0%
Fighting: 10%
Finance: 20%
Firearms: 0%
Intimidation: 5%
Legal: 0%
Medical: 10%
Perception: 5%
Persuasion: 35%
Streetwise: 0%
Subterfuge: 20%
Technology: 0%

REPUTATION
Police: 50%
Citizen: 90%
Criminal: 50%
Montana Family: 50%
Sato Family: 50%
Smirnov Family: 50%
Rossi Family: 50%
Martinez Family: 50%

RELATIONSHIPS

My childhood friend:
Taylor: 65%
My childhood sweetheart and girlfriend:
Christine: 100%
Caporegime of the Montana Family:
"Four Finger" Nelson Harcourt: 55%
Boss of the Montana Family:
Terrence "Silver Dollar" De Luca: 50%
Soldier of the Montana Family:
Jimmy "The Carrot" Rockford: 50%

# ? Jun 12, 2017 05:42

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

Coffee I guess, don't feel too strongly about this choice.

# ? Jun 12, 2017 06:00

poisonpill: Nov 8, 2009; The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.

As hipster "mobsters", we eat only organic, locally-sourced quinoa oatmeal with agave syrup and a glass of soy milk.

# ? Jun 12, 2017 06:07

SystemLogoff: Feb 19, 2011; End Session?

I think we're good at blending in.

I ordered the special.

# ? Jun 12, 2017 06:20

wedgekree: Feb 20, 2013

Special

# ? Jun 12, 2017 06:58

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 05:27

VivaLa Eeveelution: Apr 3, 2011

quote:

Jimmy "The Carrot" Rockford was a 40-year-old health nut from New Daria. [...] Jimmy was waiting for me with an egg-white omelette, whole wheat toast with no butter, and orange juice instead of coffee.

We'll either impress him or be accused of being a buttkisser if we too order healthy food.

Let's do it anyway; our option is at least two levels of healthy higher than Jimmy's - three if that OJ is pulp-free.

# ? Jun 12, 2017 08:21

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > The CYOA You Can't Refuse: Let's Play Life of a Mobster

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