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little munchkin


Putting my 1500 yen into the high-tech machine and although my japanese is weak, I am able to navigate the menus and purchase an rear end out of the 30 or so I have to choose from. Just another of the many things that you'd never see in western culture.

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PHIZ KALIFA

THUNDERDOME LOSER
HAIKULIGAN
*A commercial where a stylish girl is repremanded by her friends for not having an rear end. Ashamed, she considers throwing herself in front of a subway, but across the tracks notices an Asahi Heavy Industries & Special Metallurgy Assotronic Vendymatic. She doublejumps to the far side safely, deposits her coins, and YATTAS! when the rear end drop out*
*Before returning to cafe, she slips her new rear end into her side-zipper pencil skirt, only to have it tear open! She is chagrined, a man on a scooter plows into a concrete planter*
*Upbeat jazz fusion plays over a shot of a model rear end, somewhere on a rocky beach. Freeze frame on a gust of seafoam.*

cda


Shaking this machine because the rear end won't fall out.

PHIZ KALIFA

THUNDERDOME LOSER
HAIKULIGAN
*A row of elderly war vets sip beer in a park while I bust out a fuckin' bazonkers bongo solo on the largest vended rear end purchaseable without a license*

free Trapt CD

imagine being the person who has to restock the rear end machines. driving around on your moped in the middle of the night, stacking rear end, not being paid enough to afford one yourself... the true face, or cheek, of poverty

Cable Guy

I don't expect any trouble, but we'll be handing these out later...
Better than The rear end Factory Sweat Shop.... that's one asinine labour.

Darkman Fanpage

ha ha





ah perfect i love to eat rear end

free Trapt CD

Darkman Fanpage posted:

ah perfect i love to eat rear end

make sure you stand still and eat rear end. unlike the occidental world, the japanese consider it extremely rude to eat rear end while walking

google THIS


And never leave your chopsticks in the rear end because that symbolizes death.

google THIS


gently caress, I meant to pick the "big ol' rear end" and I accidentally hit the "big rear end" button. I guess I'll just get both.

Sham bam bamina!

ƨtupid cat

you... you purchased an rear end from a vending machine? my rear end isn't enough?? b-baka hentai! *bludgeons with a magically appearing giant mallet*

Chill la Chill

Don't lose your gay



HAIKOOLIGAN
*inserts money into the vending machine*
*sees a golden ticket come out*
where's my rear end?! I wanted an rear end! I paid for and want my rear end!
*is hauled off by the kindly japanese policemen for interrupting the peace*

camera zooms into golden ticket that has indecipherable writing. subtitle reads: congratulations! you have won a lifetime supply of big ol' asses and are cordially invited to big al's big ol' rear end emporium

Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan


thank you matoi and vanisher for the sigs, lovely dad for the cool av

Macnult


I pressed the button several times and the machine is giving me nothing but sass


thank you city of glompton for the sig

FutonForensic


rear end. earl gay. hot

vanisher


*puts in coins*

*donkey is led by mechanical arm out of machine*

google THIS


Chill la Chill posted:

*inserts money into the vending machine*
*sees a golden ticket come out*
where's my rear end?! I wanted an rear end! I paid for and want my rear end!
*is hauled off by the kindly japanese policemen for interrupting the peace*

camera zooms into golden ticket that has indecipherable writing. subtitle reads: congratulations! you have won a lifetime supply of big ol' asses and are cordially invited to big al's big ol' rear end emporium

Big Willy Daddy Donka

Plebian Parasite


three things i love about tokyo:

-piping hot authentic ramen
-its crazy poppin off nightlife
-the thud as 10 pounds of rear end hits the vending machine tray

Lizard Wizard

mep, mep

google THIS posted:

Big Willy Daddy Donka

Sham bam bamina!

ƨtupid cat

Plebian Parasite posted:

10 pounds of rear end
so you're a pedophile. "when in rome" i suppose

Plebian Parasite


Sham bam bamina! posted:

so you're a pedophile. "when in rome" i suppose

i like to mix and match so i try to buy one cheek at a time

Chill la Chill

Don't lose your gay



HAIKOOLIGAN

google THIS posted:

Big Willy Daddy Donka

Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan


thank you matoi and vanisher for the sigs, lovely dad for the cool av

little munchkin


you can tell this rear end used to belong to a sexy schoolgirl with blue hair, because it's got a picture of a sexy schoolgirl with blue hair on the package

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

google THIS


Macnult posted:

I pressed the button several times and the machine is giving me nothing but sass

S rear end is the highest possible grade of rear end, as any good AAR player knows

FutonForensic


i always get freaked out when i watch Charlie and the rear end Factory and watch that german boy get sucked up into an rear end. freaked out, and jealous

pork steaks

a lovely boy

FutonForensic posted:

i always get freaked out when i watch Charlie and the rear end Factory and watch that german boy get sucked up into an rear end. freaked out, and jealous

I liked the part where the tv kid got farted out of an rear end and was turned into millions of invisible smell particles

google THIS


let's not forget the part where the girl got thrown down the "garbage chute" by a bunch of "small rodents" because she and her dad were "bad nuts"

Kthulhu5000

Coulda, woulda, shoulda
bought
a
TurboGrafx-16

It seems like the opening and closing montage of every 1970s yakuza-themed movie features two Shiba dogs in some derelict junkyard, playing a vicious game of tug-of-war with a discarded vending machine rear end.

HIGHLY SYMBOLIC!

a fragile ego


google THIS posted:

let's not forget the part where the girl got thrown down the "garbage chute" by a bunch of "small rodents" because she and her dad were "bad nuts"

That scene really predicted the tide for American politics in 2017. I always recommend the film to anyone who asks me where i stand on the political spectrum

lmbo calrissian

i'm into fashion
men are my passion

There's a lot more room for rear end in my bike saddle. Don't be shy, stuff your vending machine rear end in there

FutonForensic


i have to buy my rear end from a machine, because whenever i buy one from Trader Joe's the cashier always always has to raise an eyebrow and say, "someone's having fun this weekend" and draw everyone's attention to it

just PUT the rear end in the BAG lady

google THIS


TFW you're trapped into a conversation with your neighbor on your way in and one of your grocery bags distinctly farts

Manifisto


FutonForensic posted:

i have to buy my rear end from a machine, because whenever i buy one from Trader Joe's the cashier always always has to raise an eyebrow and say, "someone's having fun this weekend" and draw everyone's attention to it

just PUT the rear end in the BAG lady

HotSoapyBeard

I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN
So in Japan you can get hot or cold rear end out of a vending machine and get this!! Tommy Lee Jones is on the adverts for rear end over there. There's one ad where he climbs a mountain to meet a wise-man who hands him a hot rear end and he finds enlightenment.

lmbo calrissian

i'm into fashion
men are my passion

google THIS posted:

TFW you're trapped into a conversation with your neighbor on your way in and one of your grocery bags distinctly farts

FactsAreUseless

Pretty sure this is literally the plot of some messed-up porn manga.

lmbo calrissian

i'm into fashion
men are my passion

rear end ideas:
An rear end vending machine merging with a panty corporation
A cafe rear end in a food truck town
An rear end on an evidence table
Leaving your new rear end in a wingstop

alnilam




Sinbad from the movie First Kid gives the speech about the president literally chewing his rear end off and how he literally won't have a butt anymore

First kid is like "dude I've been to Japan... Come with me..."

little munchkin


HotSoapyBeard posted:

So in Japan you can get hot or cold rear end out of a vending machine and get this!! Tommy Lee Jones is on the adverts for rear end over there. There's one ad where he climbs a mountain to meet a wise-man who hands him a hot rear end and he finds enlightenment.

lol

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Twenty Four

HAIKOOLIGAN

cda posted:

Shaking this machine because the rear end won't fall out.

Oh yeah! Shake that rear end!

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byob historian

     b e e p

HotSoapyBeard posted:

So in Japan you can get hot or cold rear end out of a vending machine and get this!! Tommy Lee Jones is on the adverts for rear end over there. There's one ad where he climbs a mountain to meet a wise-man who hands him a hot rear end and he finds enlightenment.

is that all it takes

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