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Android Blues


PHIZ KALIFA posted:

*A row of elderly war vets sip beer in a park while I bust out a fuckin' bazonkers bongo solo on the largest vended rear end purchaseable without a license*

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Kthulhu5000

Coulda, woulda, shoulda
bought
a
TurboGrafx-16

google THIS posted:

TFW you're trapped into a conversation with your neighbor on your way in and one of your grocery bags distinctly farts

this is Japan, though, so your neighbor will put up a magnificent show of will to not make you feel uncomfortable about it. then they'll go home and laugh and laugh and start up the gossip grapevine through fax machines.

y'all heard about the Yatahama rear end festival? They have premium regular rear end, and also rear end with exotic scents like lavender, honey-vanilla, salsa, kimchi, rotten cabbage, greasy beef stew, boiled broccoli, and sour cheese.

Japan sure is crazy and cool about rear end flavors!

Slumpy


i restock the rear end machine when it empties out. its hard work, but an honest yen. got quite a few machines i gotta visit by days end, and only so many asses to give them, but you dont need to worry about my struggles, i just love my job of restocking the japanese rear end vending machine


cda


You used to have to go to specialty stores to get vending-machine-style Japanese asses, but now you can sometimes find them in your local grocery store near the kosher food.

Slumpy


id really rather you didnt tell people that cda....

much love


slumpy


Scroon


Why would you go to a vending machine when any street market stall will sell you home-grown honey wasabi rear end fresh from the cart

byob historian

     b e e p

Slumpy posted:

id really rather you didnt tell people that cda....

much love


slumpy

dont worry the vending machines dont card high school kids tryna look cool with their rear end obsession

google THIS


Scroon posted:

Why would you go to a vending machine when any street market stall will sell you home-grown honey wasabi rear end fresh from the cart

Some of the really high-end machines have a robot assemble the rear end while you watch. and they can use more than 3 tons of force so you get much more supple gluteal muscles than hand stretching will ever give you.

lmbo calrissian

i'm into fashion
men are my passion

google THIS posted:

Some of the really high-end machines have a robot assemble the rear end while you watch. and they can use more than 3 tons of force so you get much more supple gluteal muscles than hand stretching will ever give you.

Whoa

Kthulhu5000

Coulda, woulda, shoulda
bought
a
TurboGrafx-16

google THIS posted:

Some of the really high-end machines have a robot assemble the rear end while you watch. and they can use more than 3 tons of force so you get much more supple gluteal muscles than hand stretching will ever give you.

have you seen the hypnotic videos on Nicovideo of the spreader arm coming down, trenching the crack, and then rotating ninety degrees to flex out and give the cheeks perfect gapage?

I could watch that poo poo for hours. it's like a butterfly spreading its wings for the first time, every time.

FutonForensic


just lmbo at all these bougie fucks that bought a home rear end maker for 2k, only for it to make tiny asses 10 minutes at a time while i can go to the shop and buy a huge stack of asses for a dollar

Sham bam bamina!

ƨtupid cat

me (walking past and noticing some slackjaw normie buying a worthless americanized dub rear end instead of an authentic original rear end like i got when i went to akihabara when i was in japan last year): heh.

google THIS


"The Japanese invented asses, you know."

(of course I'm aware that the Chinese actually invented them, but the Japanese perfected them and really that's more important)

Kthulhu5000

Coulda, woulda, shoulda
bought
a
TurboGrafx-16

google THIS posted:

"The Japanese invented asses, you know."

(of course I'm aware that the Chinese actually invented them, but the Japanese perfected them and really that's more important)

The Japanese took apart the rear end and then refined it to reflect its core essence. I'm sorry, assence.

lmbo calrissian

i'm into fashion
men are my passion

Freeze dried asses .. "Fo yo cereal"

Sham bam bamina!

ƨtupid cat

Kthulhu5000 posted:

have you seen the hypnotic videos on Nicovideo of the spreader arm coming down, trenching the crack, and then rotating ninety degrees to flex out and give the cheeks perfect gapage?

I could watch that poo poo for hours. it's like a butterfly spreading its wings for the first time, every time.
meant to emptyquote htis

little munchkin


In japan the asses are small but you can get them in different colors and with little emojis printed on them. In the US you can get gigantic asses but they'll look exactly the same as your neighbors. It's interesting how different cultures place value on different things.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

little munchkin


asses from italy are expensive and will break down within a month. you buy them as a status symbol, not for the functionality

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

google THIS


French asses, regardless of the orientation you display them in, will always fart in your general direction.

Robot Made of Meat


little munchkin posted:

asses from italy are expensive and will break down within a month. you buy them as a status symbol, not for the functionality

But dammit! They're so comfortable while they last.


Thanks to Vanisher for the sig!

Sham bam bamina!

ƨtupid cat

german asses are engineered incredibly well but are notably scat-happy, even for asses

Kthulhu5000

Coulda, woulda, shoulda
bought
a
TurboGrafx-16

Some old foreign TV host dude in Japan:

"While Japan's high-tech rear end manufacturing showcases the nation's soaring modernity, these Japanese artisans' handcrafted asses are truly emblematic of lacquered booty."

cda


I get my rear end at a bodega

cda


The trial-size rear end

google THIS


Observational Comedian: What is the deal with fun-size asses?

little munchkin


google THIS posted:

Observational Comedian: What is the deal with fun-size asses?

unlike most products, fun-sized asses are actually bigger than normal

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

PHIZ KALIFA

THUNDERDOME LOSER
HAIKULIGAN
*A Mimic but instead of a door or chest a vending machine specializing in undeveloped undersized asses, that i prey only on child predators*

google THIS


Me: (glumly) Oh man. The only pants I have clean are these assless chaps... (suddenly brightening) Wait! I know what to do!

(I throw on the chaps, grab my wallet, and head out the door.)

Splatmaster


HAIKOOLIGAN

You haven't truly lived until you've been through an earthquake in front of an rear end vending machine, the twerking is high up on the richter scale

BYOB fun all year long! Sigs by: Manifisto and Vanisher, awesome BYOB people!!

HotSoapyBeard

I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN
Sugoi neeiiiii kore rear end-wa ichiban desu !!!!!!

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Jerkoff Jackpot

It's gonna take a lotta gum
To get us through the night



no thx m8 already got a great one that im really quite attached to yas yas
\

Jerkoff Jackpot fucked around with this message at Jun 9, 2017 around 05:38

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtrnjIjKCUs

Dairy Tariff posted:

control+F marx and prepare to have your mind blown
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