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Thinking a Ghost!
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Jun 6, 2017 01:52
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 10:57 |
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 Loretta Latham, the Ghost I woke up in the vat ten minutes before they killed me. Before then, all I remember are little scraps of childhood, what must have been dreams: learning to tie my shoes, a house that was sometimes white and sometimes grey, parents whose faces were never quite clear. I guess the dreams were there to make me think I had a childhood, if they'd pulled me out of the vat alive, but they were never going to -- so why bother? Their voices woke me up, the first time I'd ever really been awake, and I overheard everything. Their voices were so loud and open; were they alone, or did nobody else care what they were doing? I still remember it, mostly. It was the first real thing that ever happened to me, and it was almost the last. quote:"That's the third negative screening; this subject's a bust. I'll start the euth protocol." There were a few clicks, and then there was pain crushing my chest. Something in my body told me to breathe -- but I couldn't, something was stopping me, even as my body tried, and it hurt -- and then it stopped hurting -- And then I left my body, and I flew. I flew out of the vat, away from my body hanging limp in its restraints, out into the dark empty lab; the man who killed me hadn't stuck around to watch me die. I flew through the ceiling and out into an open field, far enough away from the distant lights of the town that the sky was filled with stars. I could have kept flying up to the stars, to whatever was waiting for me, but I stopped there and let myself sink down onto the damp grass. I knew I wasn't ready to go, although it took me a few minutes to realize just why. I want to be recognized. I want the world to know I'm here, to know what I was and who I am, even if it's only for a little while before I have to leave. I want recognition, and I want justice. I still don't know exactly what they were doing down there -- what they were trying to do, and why it didn't work -- but I intend to learn, and I intend to tell the world about the ones they made and destroyed like we were nothing. And then I intend to find the two men I heard, back then, and make sure they die alone, in the dark. I won't stick around to watch them die. They don't get that. ... But that's going to take a while, and in the meantime? I won't lie, I want to live. I want to be remembered for something other than revenge. It's been three or four years since I died-flew-awoke, and I'm going to school, working, trying to experience what I can of life. Most people don't notice me; I don't know if they can't, or if that's just... who I am. Ignorable. Disposable... No. I won't let them treat me that was. I refuse to be thrown away, and if they think they can, I'll show them otherwise. quote:The Ghost Questions: quote:Who that you trust has recently let you down? Mr. Gordon's been talking again about "having to let me go." He's my boss, and he's also my landlord; he runs the Gatewater Motel, down by the freeway, and I do cleaning and night shifts at the desk in exchange for a room and a little pay. The Gatewater's never busy, and he's started talking about how he "can't afford me," even when I try to tell him he doesn't have to pay me, just let me keep the room... and it's not like the Gatewater ever runs out of rooms. If he let me go and kicked me out... well, I wouldn't die. I can't. I don't even need anywhere to stay. But I like having somewhere to go, someplace that's mine, and I don't want to have to find something else. quote:Who has recently made a profound impact on you? After Mr. Gordon started talking about letting me go for the first time, a year ago, I went out and got a job down at the department store downtown, Smith's and Smith's. I mostly do backroom and fitting-room stuff, but it's not hard, and it's nice to have money. Mostly I've just been quiet, getting by and being grateful they noticed me enough to hire me in the first place, but lately my manager's been talking to me more. Her name is Kayla, and she's not much older than me -- I think I've seen her at school? Anyway, she's started noticing me. She says... well, she says I'm doing a good job and she can start putting me in for more hours, if I want. And do I want to get trained as a cashier, maybe? It's just a dumb job, but... she's noticed me, and not in a bad way. Do you know how often that happens? Not often. quote:What's one place in town that you feel drawn to? Whenever I wander, I tend to find myself back at Hunter Park, out on the outskirts of town. It's just a little park, a little bit of grass and some trees and a swingset, but something about it feels... important. Like I need to be there. Like I should stay there. I think Hunter Park is where they dumped my body. quote:What secret did you just find out? I've been reading up on old newspapers at the library, and I think I've figured out what the men in the lab meant by "03" and "four messy harvests." Over the five years or so before I died, the newspaper reported on four girls who looked like me, all dead or gone. Helen Lane was 16 when she disappeared, and she was found three days later in a drainage ditch, mutilated. Hester Larson was 15 when she and her parents died in a car accident -- airlifted to the hospital, but nobody lived. Heidi Landry was 17 when she died "of complications of cancer." Heather Lawrence, 15 again, disappeared and was never found. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to put it all together. I wonder which one was 03?
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Jun 11, 2017 00:10
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Frgrbrgr posted:Loretta Latham by Antivehicular How can I not resent her? I know it's not her fault, but the way she talks... well, it's nothing special. It's like everybody else, but that's enough. She talks a lot about her family. It sounds like a big one -- three or four siblings, plus grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins... people around her, of her blood, who love her for being one of them. I'll never be a part of anyone's family, no matter what I manage to do. I might have friends, maybe. Close friends, if I'm lucky. But family can never happen. ... I don't hate her. But I hate this. I hate being reminded of what this means. There's so much to hate, when you're in a place like I am. quote:What steps have you taken in finding the men who... disposed of you? ... Research online, and at the library. It's not much. I read up about scientists in the town, and about laboratories, but there's much less written than I expected, and of course I only have one name -- "George." Even around here, there are plenty of men named George. If I could just hear voices... I feel like I'm waiting for a sign, almost: some clue from whatever helped me stay here. Some kind of power. For all I can do, that power hasn't found me yet. quote:Who have you unwittingly followed around town? What do you think about them? There's this boy, Aron Allwise, and we share a lot of classes this year -- well, classes he's taking and I'm sitting in on. It's not like I have a real schedule. But we're often in the same place, in the same hallways, and it's hard not to cross his path. He's kind of cute, even if he uses way too much hair stuff, and he's got a great voice. I overheard him in the boy's bathroom after classes, practicing for the fall musical auditions. He's good. He's... well, everyone's alive who isn't me, but he's alive.
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Jun 16, 2017 11:54
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