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*assistance needed in the paint dept* *assistance needed in the hand tool dept* *assistance needed in the floor covering dept* *assistance needed in the customer service dept*
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Jun 6, 2017 18:32
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boI4D1FlIVs
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Jun 6, 2017 19:04
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Where are the pipe pieces which can be used to make a marijuana pipe?
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Jun 6, 2017 19:10
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*attempts to go postal with an electric chainsaw from display* *trips on cable, dies*
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Jun 6, 2017 20:03
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"You want some wood? Yeah, we got wood. Here's some good sturdy wood right here. Long, firm -- good heft to it. Some fine wood right there, my friend. Yes, you could say I'm a bit of a connoisseur of wood. I get wood every time I come here. Hell, even if I don't even plan on getting wood, if I'm here, I get wood anyway. It's just something about this place."
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Jun 6, 2017 20:06
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*is a goon trying to make jokes about a place having never been to* *is this thread*
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Jun 6, 2017 20:06
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Girl boss? Never heard of 'er.
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Jun 6, 2017 20:10
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bradzilla posted:*is a goon trying to make jokes about a place having never been to* Ever considered that construction guys are often alcoholics and losers, and also hate women? We got a whole forum like that...
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Jun 6, 2017 20:12
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bradzilla posted:*is a goon trying to make jokes about a place having never been to* *is jumped into True Value via vicious gang beating* Blood in, blood out 
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Jun 6, 2017 20:21
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Awkwardly waits on billionaire looking for rope and zip ties. Loses virginity.
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Jun 6, 2017 20:27
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*gets 10% off non-sale products, but still orders from Amazon or Costco because they are way cheaper*
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Jun 6, 2017 20:38
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"Shop smart, shop S-Mart!" *Shotguns deadite*
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Jun 6, 2017 20:50
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sometimes i feel like a software man living in a hardware world...
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Jun 6, 2017 21:01
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hi, how can i help u
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Jun 6, 2017 21:08
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hi, i'm looking for some soft wares
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Jun 6, 2017 21:09
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*points to dilz*
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Jun 6, 2017 21:11
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Paging Applewhite, I think we need to hear a story from the time you worked at a hardware store.
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Jun 6, 2017 21:18
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ROFLburger posted:* closes at 4pm just before everyone gets off of work *
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Jun 6, 2017 21:20
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"Madam, I think you might need some caulk"
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Jun 6, 2017 22:24
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Bonzo posted:*sells nailgun to drug dealer* You ernt that bump like a mother fucker.
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Jun 6, 2017 23:36
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*loiters out front at 6 am smoking cigarettes and looking for work
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Jun 7, 2017 00:12
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my local hardware if you take in a pipe or drain fitting that you need to replace, they will walk with you and chat it up a bit to the pipe section and build everything you need with the proper gluey stuff and hand it over it's so convenient
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Jun 7, 2017 00:15
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*Listens attentively to customer naming the exact item he's looking for and yet I have no comprehension whatsoever of what he's talking about* *Momentary pause* "What is it that you're trying to do, sir?"
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Jun 7, 2017 00:15
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"For the last time, we do not have any four by fours here. This is a hardware store, not a car lot."
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Jun 7, 2017 00:19
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*weird lady walks up to register* *Loss prevention comes running from nowhere* *lady throws a purse full of wrenches at my dick*
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Jun 7, 2017 00:24
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Eastbound Spider posted:"Madam, I think you might need some caulk" "Squeeze the caulk carefully. There, now it's coming out. It's very sticky!"
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Jun 7, 2017 00:28
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I was the subcontractor putting together all the grills and lawnmowers and picnic tables and poo poo for the Lowe's in Somerset, KY from January to August in 2005. You're welcome, Lowe's shoppers.
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Jun 7, 2017 00:31
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Szyznyk posted:I was the subcontractor putting together all the grills and lawnmowers and picnic tables and poo poo for the Lowe's in Somerset, KY from January to August in 2005. You're welcome, Lowe's shoppers. How high were you
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Jun 7, 2017 02:14
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bradzilla posted:*is a goon trying to make jokes about a place having never been to* Yeah my 30 years of home ownership never led me to a lowes. Or worse an ace when they were closed. Is ace still open?
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Jun 7, 2017 02:20
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I shop at three different Ace hardware stores in my area and they all kick rear end.
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Jun 7, 2017 02:44
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Hi the pipe clamps? Yeah aisle 23 there is a small one for 7 dollars and a larger one for 24
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Jun 7, 2017 03:09
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*watches another customer set off the theft alarm after checking out* *too busy trying to hit on the one semi-hot girl working here over the summer to check if they actually stole anything*
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Jun 7, 2017 03:22
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*is hopelessly in love with a giant bird* *has a fridge full of severed heads*
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Jun 7, 2017 03:40
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*stares off in the distance as customer rambles on about how great Adam Carolla is*
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Jun 7, 2017 07:36
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I go to home Depot and Dunn Lumber (Seattle family chain) and its amazing how loving stupid people at Depot are compared to the small family business which knows exactly what I'm talking about almost every time. Content edit: *goes in to get pipe fittings. Spends 30 minutes checking out finish lumber and tools before even remembering what I was there for*
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Jun 7, 2017 07:58
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If you're going to keep visiting the complimentary popcorn machine you'll have to buy something sir. Mom n pop hw stores have those everywhere right?
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Jun 7, 2017 08:00
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*pets the customers dog*
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Jun 7, 2017 08:13
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suuma posted:why do you wear an apron if you work in non-food service retail The other option is a vest that makes you look like loving Aladdin. *Becomes a top gun level forklift operator so you don't damage the bottom sheets of gypsum board because there's always those immigrants who come in that will demand the damaged poo poo at a discount and you may not say no.* *Tweeks back because "gently caress it I don't have time for this poo poo" and then fails to go to L&I because you are a young idiot who does not know any better.* STOP LITTERING fucked around with this message at 08:25 on Jun 7, 2017 |
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Jun 7, 2017 08:15
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*Feels uncomfortable every time I walk through the small appliance and electronics section because of all the random 10-, 15-, and 25-year-old consumer goods with faded packaging and yellowing plastic just scattered through the shelves. *We can only make duplicate keys 2 days a week when the guy who still knows how to manually grinds keys is working. Has to deal with pissed off customers who come back on the other days about the keys not working.
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Jun 7, 2017 08:41
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JediTalentAgent posted:*We can only make duplicate keys 2 days a week when the guy who still knows how to manually grinds keys is working. Has to deal with pissed off customers who come back on the other days about the keys not working. The gently caress do you live? They got an automated thing for that now. It's the windows and screens guy who only comes in 2 days a week
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Jun 7, 2017 08:45
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