SAS Fantasy Draft 2017: Escape the offseason with our Hockey Draftapalooza!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Armchair Quarterback > SAS Fantasy Draft 2017: Escape the offseason with our Hockey Draftapalooza!

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Aye Doc: Jul 19, 2007

It's time for the ever-glorious SAS FANTASY DRAFT: ROUND FIVE!

3031 goons assemble to flex their muscle and give credence to all of our awful posts about hockey throughout the season. Each poster serves as their team's GM and drafts from a pool including all current players who are property of an NHL team. You can draft any kind of team you like - if you want to make your team all of the fattest skaters in the NHL, you go for it but Kessel is going to go early. If you want to pretend to be a savvy and seasoned GM trying to make his way to a Cup, you can do that too. Post about your dumb players, and my dumb players, and everyone's dumb players because it's a lot better when people are active and discussing things.

The draft order will snake and be randomly chosen. We use a Google Spreadsheet to keep track of picks and you can make your own pages in there to show devotion to your fake teams if you so desire. As with all pursuits that combine nerdery and sports, this requires some time investment and as the game goes on, perhaps some research to find players to fit your drafting plan; expect to spend a month or two with your good buddies in this thread. Despite the serious element, this is all about fun (and escaping the miserable emptiness of the hockey offseason). I will do my best to discuss my picks and explain what I am doing and it would be cool if some other folks would do the same.

Some people have already laid claim to teams in the N/V threads, in Discord, or wherever and those are reflected in our initial list. Teemu Pokemon and Infidel Castro both called dibs on the Predators, they can fight over who gets it now that the Preds proved themselves as a loser team. I would like to have this started in the first week of July, probably right after our American participants recover from getting brutally drunk on the 4th.

RULES
1. Players you select must be the "property" of an NHL team. This rule seems to have always had a lot of leeway, with people drafting UFAs and various unsigned players. I think it makes sense to do it as, they must have been the property of an NHL team, played the past season in the NHL, or are in the process of coming to the NHL (i.e. the current Ilya Kovalchuk situation). Any input on this one?

2. The 2017-18 salary cap is expected to be a flat $73,000,000 if/when the NHLPA denies the escalator. The projected cap floor is $54,000,000. We will be using both of those numbers for our draft.

3. The draft timer only runs from 10:00 AM EST to 10:00 PM EST. Each drafting team has a 2 hour window during this period and that 2 hours rolls over - if your pick comes on the clock at 9 PM, you have until 11 AM the next day to make your choice. If someone fails to draft within that time, their pick is skipped. They will be auto-skipped until they return to make whatever picks are still due of them. You can pick outside of this window as long as it is your pick, but the timer will not be running on anyone. If you know you are unable to be around to make your pick, there are always several people around that you can send a short list of players to and they will pick for you.

4. We will be selecting 23 players and 1 head coach. You need to take at least 12 forwards, 6 defenseman, and 2 goalies.

TEAMS
EAST
Toronto Maple Leafs - Technetium
Ottawa Senators - Laderhan
Montreal Canadiens - stab
Buffalo Sabres - Jonathan Fisk
Boston Bruins - FBS
Florida Panthers - Aye Doc
Tampa Bay Lightning - mentholmoose
Carolina Hurricanes - Jordan7hm
Washington Capitals - glyynenstein
New Jersey Devils - Vincent van Goat
Pittsburgh Penguins - Ginette Reno
Philadelphia Flyers - Infidel Castro
New York Islanders - Iodized QQ
New York Rangers - Furnaceface
Columbus Blue Jackets - ThinkTank
Detroit Red Wings - Thufir

WEST

Winnipeg Jets - Yaya
Nashville Predators - Teemu Pokemon
Chicago Blackhawks - corn on the cop
St. Louis Blues - eXXon
Calgary Flames - Boomer The Cannon
Colorado Avalanche - take me you ANIMAL
Minnesota Wild - lazerwolf
Vancouver Canucks - Verviticus
Edmonton Oilers - Kilza
Anaheim Ducks - Habibi
Dallas Stars - JoelJoel
Los Angeles Kings - Arabian Jesus
San José Sharks - Jamwad Hilder
Arizona Coyotes - Good Soldier Svejk
Las Vegas Golden Knights - T-Bone

You can see 2016's draft spreadsheet right here if you want to get an idea of where players went last year. If there are rules anyone thinks we need to add or change, point it out and we'll try to make things better.

Aye Doc fucked around with this message at 00:18 on Jul 11, 2017

# ? Jun 14, 2017 15:15

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 20, 2024 01:02

Aye Doc: Jul 19, 2007

The timer will officially start at 10:00 AM EST on Thursday, July 13!

Draft Order:
1. Chicago Blackhawks - corn on the cop
2. Washington Capitals - glynnenstein
3. Philadelphia Flyers - Infidel Castro
4. Boston Bruins - FBS
5. Tampa Bay Lightning - mentholmoose
6. Ottawa Senators - Laderhan
7. Detroit Red Wings - Thufir
8. Calgary Flames - Boomer The Cannon
9. Florida Panthers - Aye Doc
10. Las Vegas Golden Knights - T-Bone
11. Colorado Avalanche - take me you ANIMAL
12. Nashville Predators - Teemu Pokemon
13. Winnipeg Jets - Yaya
14. Arizona Coyotes - Good Soldier Svejk
15. Los Angeles Kings - Arabian Jesus
16. New Jersey Devils - Vincent van Goat
17. San Jose Sharks - Jamwad Hilder
18. Columbus Blue Jackets - ThinkTank
19. Toronto Maple Leafs - Technetium
20. Carolina Hurricanes - Jordan7hm
21. New York Rangers - Furnaceface
22. Pittsburgh Penguins - Ginette Reno
23. Buffalo Sabres - Jonathan Fisk
24. Dallas Stars - JoelJoel
25. Edmonton Oilers - Kilza
26. Minnesota Wild - lazerwolf
27. Anaheim Ducks - Habibi
28. St. Louis Blues - eXXon
29. Vancouver Canucks - Verviticus
30. New York Islanders - Iodized QQ
31. Montreal Canadiens - Marc "stab" Bergevin

Our 2017 spreadsheet can be found at: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1HpjAH9GXLGBV_UrSMokwzh1wMwj9gualaX6fvrdyA68/edit

Aye Doc fucked around with this message at 14:14 on Jul 12, 2017

# ? Jun 14, 2017 15:16

ThinkTank: Oct 23, 2007

Just confirming my participation again. TIME TO MAKE SOME PISS POOR SELECTIONS!

# ? Jun 14, 2017 15:37

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

PERDS PERDS PERDS

e: also I will finish last year's sim before this draft starts or is over :ssh:

# ? Jun 14, 2017 15:48

T-Bone: Sep 14, 2004; jakes did this?

we can take kovalchuk right

# ? Jun 14, 2017 15:49

Ginette Reno: Nov 18, 2006; How Doers get more done; Fun Shoe

Put me back in for the Penguins

# ? Jun 14, 2017 15:53

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

Ill take Carolina again.

# ? Jun 14, 2017 15:57

glynnenstein: Feb 18, 2014

Do you mean EST or EDT?

Hoping I can take the Capitals past the second round of the draft.

# ? Jun 14, 2017 16:00

Infidel Castro: Jun 8, 2010; Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice

Teemu Pokemon posted:

PERDS PERDS PERDS

e: also I will finish last year's sim before this draft starts or is over

YOU RAT BASTARD TEEMU.

Fine, give me Philadelphia.

# ? Jun 14, 2017 16:10

T-Bone: Sep 14, 2004; jakes did this?

I'd offer to run this in EHM but I don't think there's a database with Vegas yet

# ? Jun 14, 2017 16:22

stab: Feb 12, 2003; To you from failing hands we throw the torch, be yours to hold it high

Time to bergevin the habs to mediocrity

# ? Jun 14, 2017 17:02

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

Dang. I wanted Vegas.

Gimme the Jets

# ? Jun 14, 2017 17:20

Technetium: Oct 26, 2006; TRILOBITE TECHNICIAN
QUITE POSSIBLY GAY

Can't wait to gently caress this up again!!

# ? Jun 14, 2017 17:56

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

T-Bone posted:

I'd offer to run this in EHM but I don't think there's a database with Vegas yet

There probably will be by the time we start.

# ? Jun 14, 2017 18:33

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

I am renaming them the Nashville Perds, everyone who mentions my team must call them the Perds tia

# ? Jun 14, 2017 18:45

lazerwolf: Dec 22, 2009; Orange and Black

I'll GM the Minnesota Wild again

# ? Jun 14, 2017 19:26

ThinkTank: Oct 23, 2007

Jordan7hm posted:

There probably will be by the time we start.

I just want an EHM port for Mac dammit

# ? Jun 14, 2017 19:48

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

Dallas Young Gunz/Defence Is For Suckers are going to take the league by storm.

# ? Jun 14, 2017 20:09

Infidel Castro: Jun 8, 2010; Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice

Teemu Pokemon posted:

I am renaming them the Nashville Perds, everyone who mentions my team must call them the Perds tia

More like Nashville Turds.

# ? Jun 15, 2017 01:31

Precambrian Video Games: Aug 19, 2002

I'll take the Blues again because some dickheads keep taking my first two picks.

# ? Jun 15, 2017 03:33

Iodised QQ: Jul 23, 2004

Teemu Pokemon posted:

PERDS PERDS PERDS

e: also I will finish last year's sim before this draft starts or is over

I'll do the isles again as long as that sim gets finished before this new draft starts :argh:

# ? Jun 15, 2017 07:34

Aye Doc: Jul 19, 2007

updated the team list

# ? Jun 15, 2017 22:25

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Gimme the Lightning

Gonna draft Drouin in the first round.

# ? Jun 16, 2017 00:28

Good Soldier Svejk: Jul 5, 2010

I will bring glory to Arizona again, so long as we still have no native Arizona fans more inclined to do so.

# ? Jun 16, 2017 05:00

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

Good Soldier Svejk posted:

I will bring glory to Arizona again, so long as we still have no native Arizona fans more inclined to do so.

Lol

"both our fans must be thrilled."

# ? Jun 16, 2017 05:45

Boomer The Cannon: Oct 27, 2011; Gotta see it live!

I'll take Calgary.

# ? Jun 16, 2017 23:28

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

I have a hockey game tomorrow at like 11:30 and I should be home by 1 and I plan to spend the rest of the day finishing last year's sim

# ? Jun 17, 2017 15:32

Aye Doc: Jul 19, 2007

I've updated the list again and by my count, we only need 12 more GMs

# ? Jun 17, 2017 18:41

Verviticus: Mar 13, 2006; I'm just a total piece of shit and I'm not sure why I keep posting on this site. Christ, I have spent years with idiots giving me bad advice about online dating and haven't noticed that the thread I'm in selects for people that can't talk to people worth a damn.

almost missed this post

# ? Jun 18, 2017 04:57

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

I simming last season right now, there's about 10 games left in the season. I'll post an update when the regular season is over and then after the playoffs

# ? Jun 18, 2017 21:42

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

End of Regular Season Standings/Stats:

Atlantic
1. Buffalo (49-27-6, 46 ROW) 104 pts
2. Detroit (47-28-7, 40 ROW) 101 pts
3. Montreal (46-28-8, 38 ROW) 100 pts
Metropolitan
1. Philadelphia (44-28-10, 42 ROW) 98 pts
2. NY Islanders (46-30-6, 38 ROW) 98 pts
3. Carolina (43-32-7, 38 ROW) 93 pts
Wildcard
1. Boston (44-33-5, 39 ROW) 93 pts
2. Ottawa (43-32-7, 38 ROW) 93 pts

- Toronto (42-33-7, 34 ROW) 91 pts
- Columbus (40-37-5, 31ROW) 85 pts
- Tampa Bay (38-36-8, 35 ROW) 84 pts
- New Jersey (39-37-6, 33 ROW) 84 pts
- Pittsburgh (38-37-7, 33 ROW) 83 pts
- Washington (35-40-7, 31 ROW) 77 pts
- Florida (35-42-5, 32 ROW) 75 pts
- NY Rangers (31-41-10, 27 ROW) 72 pts

Central
1. Dallas (49-27-6, 45 ROW) 104 pts
2. Chicago (46-30-6, 39 ROW) 98 pts
3. Colorado (41-34-7, 32 ROW) 89 pts
Pacific
1. Arizona (52-19-11, 47 ROW) 115 pts
2. Vancouver (44-25-13, 41 ROW) 101 pts
3. San Jose (46-27-9, 41 ROW) 101 pts
Wildcard
1. Edmonton (47-30-5, 41 ROW) 99 pts
2. Los Angeles (39-30-13, 33 ROW) 91 pts

- Winnipeg (36-34-12, 33 ROW) 84 pts
- St. Louis (36-37-9, 32 ROW) 81 pts
- Anaheim (35-40-7, 33 ROW) 77 pts
- Minnesota (35-43-4, 31 ROW) 74 pts
- Calgary (31-42-9, 30 ROW) 71 pts
- Nashville (33-45-4, 28 ROW) 70 pts

Goals
1. Tarasenko - 63
2. Ovechkin - 47
3. Kane - 46
t-4. Tavares, Benn - 45
6. Perry - 41
7. Nyquist - 40
t-8. Seguin, Rick Nash - 37
t-10. Crosby, Giroux - 34

Assists
1. Subban - 64
t-2. Barrie, Getzlaf - 63
4. Eriksson - 60
5. Johansen - 59
t-6. S. Weber, Voracek - 57
t-8. Kucherov, Thornton, Toffoli - 56

Points
1. Tarasenko - 115
t-2. Seguin, Tavares - 92
t-4. Kane, Ovechkin - 91
6. Benn - 90
7. Crosby - 87 :haw:

t-8. Getzlaf, Voracek - 84
t-10. Nyquist, Perry, Wheeler - 83

Rookies
1. Laine: 25-31-56
t-2. Matthews: 15-37-52
t-2. Nylander: 13-39-52
4. Marner: 14-33-47
5. Buchnevich: 10-30-40
6. Connor: 10-28-38
7. Strome: 14-23-37
t-8. Bjorkstrand: 20-16-36
t-8. Dal Colle: 15-21-36
10. Konecny: 11-22-33

Wins
t-1. Varlamov, Price, Talbot - 39
t-4. Howard, Bobrovsky - 37
t-6. Quick, Halak - 36
8. Holtby - 35
9. Schneider - 34
10. Rinne - 33

GAA (min. 40 GP)
1. Neuvirth - 2.13
2. Hellebuyck - 2.20
3. Halak - 2.27
4. Bobrovsky - 2.29
5. Holtby - 2.31
t-6. Luongo, Talbot - 2.39
t-8. Schneider, Varlamov, Allen - 2.57

SV% (min. 40 GP)
t-1. Neuvirth, Holtby - .926
3. Bobrovsky - .925
4. Hellebuyck - .924
5. Halak - .923
t-6. Luongo, Talbot - .922
t-8. Allen, Lundqvist, Rask, Fleury - .915

PLAYOFF BRACKET
M1. Philadelphia vs. WC1. Boston
M2. NY Islanders vs. M3. Carolina

A1. Buffalo vs. WC2. Ottawa
A2. Detroit vs. A3. Montreal

C1. Dallas vs. WC1. Edmonton
C2. Chicago vs. C3 Colorado

P1. Arizona vs. WC2. Los Angeles
P2. Vancouver vs. P3. San Jose

# ? Jun 19, 2017 00:29

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

Hey Carolina made it in. Laine and Hellebuyck were good, so there's that.

# ? Jun 19, 2017 00:38

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

Jordan7hm posted:

Hey Carolina made it in. Laine and Hellebuyck were good, so there's that.

They just swept the Islanders, too.

# ? Jun 19, 2017 00:47

Jordan7hm: Feb 17, 2011; Lipstick Apathy

Teemu Pokemon posted:

They just swept the Islanders, too.

Defence wins championships

# ? Jun 19, 2017 01:13

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

M1. Philadelphia vs. WC1. Boston 4-3
Game 1: 2-4
Game 2: 1-3
Game 3: 3-5
Game 4: 2-1
Game 5: 3-1
Game 6: 4-3
Game 7: 3-2
:monocle:

M2. NY Islanders vs. M3. Carolina 4-0
Game 1: 6-2
Game 2: 4-3
Game 3: 2-1
Game 4: 5-1

A1. Buffalo vs. WC2. Ottawa 4-3
Game 1: 1-3
Game 2: 0-2
Game 3: 4-1
Game 4: 2-1
Game 5: 2-6
Game 6: 4-1
Game 7: 2-1(OT)

A2. Detroit vs. A3. Montreal 4-2
Game 1: 3-2
Game 2: 6-3
Game 3: 0-2
Game 4: 0-3
Game 5: 4-3(3OT)
Game 6: 4-1

C1. Dallas vs. WC1. Edmonton 4-2
Game 1: 5-2
Game 2: 1-2
Game 3: 2-4
Game 4: 3-0
Game 5: 1-0
Game 6: 4-2

C2. Chicago vs. C3 Colorado 4-0
Game 1: 4-1
Game 2: 5-4(OT)
Game 3: 2-1(2OT)
Game 4: 3-1

P1. Arizona vs. WC2. Los Angeles 4-0
Game 1: 2-0
Game 2: 5-4
Game 3: 3-2
Game 4: 6-0

P2. Vancouver vs. P3. San Jose
Game 1: 4-3(2OT)
Game 2: 3-2(OT)
Game 3: 4-3(3OT)
Game 4: 0-2
Game 5: 2-5
Game 6: 3-4(OT)
Game 7: 4-3(OT)

gat dang :rip:

So Canucks are the only higher seed to advance in what might be the craziest series ever

Round 2:

M3. Carolina vs. WC1. Boston
A3. Montreal vs. WC2. Ottawa

C3. Colorado vs. WC1. Edmonton
P2. Vancouver vs. WC2. Los Angeles

# ? Jun 19, 2017 01:58

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

M3. Carolina vs. WC1. Boston 4-1
Game 1: 1-3
Game 2: 6-1
Game 3: 3-0
Game 4: 3-0
Game 5: 4-2

A3. Montreal vs. WC2. Ottawa 4-3
Game 1: 3-5
Game 2: 1-3
Game 3: 3-1
Game 4: 3-4(OT)
Game 5: 6-3
Game 6: 3-1
Game 7: 4-2

C3. Colorado vs. WC1. Edmonton 4-1
Game 1: 1-0
Game 2: 0-4
Game 3: 2-1
Game 4: 6,2
Game 5: 5-2

P2. Vancouver vs. WC2. Los Angeles 4-2
Game 1: 6-1
Game 2: 1-2
Game 3: 3-1
Game 4: 3-0
Game 5: 1-2(3OT)
Game 6: 5-4(2OT)

Conference Final:

A3. Montreal vs. WC1. Boston

WC1. Edmonton vs. WC2. Los Angeles

underdogzzz

# ? Jun 19, 2017 02:14

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

A3. Montreal vs. WC1. Boston 4-1
Game 1: 5-0
Game 2: 4-2
Game 3: 2-3
Game 4: 3-2(2OT)
Game 5: 4-2

WC1. Edmonton vs. WC2. Los Angeles 4-1
Game 1: 5-1
Game 2: 6-5(4OT)
Game 3: 3-2
Game 4: 1-2
Game 5: 3-0

Cup Final:

Montreal vs. Los Angeles

# ? Jun 19, 2017 02:20

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

Montreal sweeps LA to win the cup. Montreal won game 1 4-0, then Luongo got hurt while down 2-0 in the first period of game 2. The Hamburglar was valiant but lost 2-1 and 1-0 in games 2 and 3, then the Kings bowed out 4-3 in game 4.

Awards

Art Ross: Tarasenko
Hart: Tarasenko
Norris: Subban
Lady Byng: Tarasenko
Calder: Laine
Conn Smythe: Price
Vezina: Holtby
Jennings: Gibson/Hutchinson/Ramo
Masterton: Demers
Selke: J. Staal
Lindaay: Tarasenko
Richard: Tarasenko
Messier Leadership Award: lol who cares that's not a real award

gently caress Canada.

# ? Jun 19, 2017 02:27

Precambrian Video Games: Aug 19, 2002

Ok cool when's the draft lottery/expansion draft/entry draft?

# ? Jun 19, 2017 02:35

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 20, 2024 01:02

stab: Feb 12, 2003; To you from failing hands we throw the torch, be yours to hold it high

Wait wait

Did i miss something

Did my shittastic d held together by Price

Just win the loving cup?????

Or did you use standard rosters

Either way

Ahahaha get bent bergevin

# ? Jun 19, 2017 04:48

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Armchair Quarterback > SAS Fantasy Draft 2017: Escape the offseason with our Hockey Draftapalooza!

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