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Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.
Okay don't spend all your money at the club on juicies

Get a nice habit like world of Warcraft. Stay in the barracks and save money hooah?

Don't forget we're going to the field on Monday. If your squad leader hasn't distributed your packing list yet...they should. Let me check with LT to confirm. He is out of the office today according to the text he sent me last night at twenty three hundred.

Okay form up and wait for first sergeant to release y'all

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Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.
LT just texted. Hold up y'all HOLD UP I SAID HOLD UP

LT saying he just guy out of a professional development with the BC and we have to practice under the oak tree counseling in partner groups until we're 100%

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit
Hey guys, I hate to be the one to bring this up but we're not 100% on SSD Level 1, so if you're E4 and below and you haven't finished you better start now because CSM says nobody in the battalion is going home until we get everyone finished with SSD.

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus
I know it's 1800 and you've been done with everything I told you to do since 1300 and have been sitting around waiting, doing quals, or cleaning but.. Chief just let me know we need to get x and y and z done before we can go home.

*2000*
Ok guys I know you've been done with x and y and z since 1830 but now the Weps said we need to get v and w and u done now.

*2100*
Ok guys good job on that work now we need to clean and then I'll be around to inspect it all.

*2130*
Hey good job cleaning guys be back here tomorrow on Saturday at 0800 we need to do some work on the TB-29.



Nearly every loving week day.

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.
Please post

BUG JUG
Feb 17, 2005



Master Sergeant, why have we been standing in formation for the last two hours?

*MSG pretends not to hear, wanders off to get in a quick chew behind the shed.*

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.
Nobody's going home til we all post one positive and one negative

Laranzu
Jan 18, 2002
Works in in an office setting. Is done with work. Leaves early.

Am I militarying right?

TheAlphaChaser
May 12, 2013
One time my platoon was told to have 100% AT lvl 1 at like 5 pm on a Friday and I walked back in my commander's office twenty minutes later and said we were up and it was a FALSE REPORT :smuggo:

Itchy_Grundle
Feb 22, 2003

Don't be a statistic!

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

gently caress this I'm leaving

Poppyseed Poundcake
Feb 23, 2007
you have staff duty tomorrow

Poppyseed Poundcake fucked around with this message at 15:51 on Jun 24, 2017

Ceiling fan
Dec 26, 2003

I really like ceilings.
Dead Man’s Band

Laranzu posted:

Works in in an office setting. Is done with work. Leaves early.

Am I militarying right?

Yes. Also, when that phone rings at 1659, don't answer it. Just don't.

Arc Light
Sep 26, 2013


I don't have my cell phone on the unit recall roster. If they really need me, they can send a runner to my house.

Lots of push back from leadership, but unless they want to issue me a gov phone, they can pound sand.

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

The blue glow is a feature, not a bug


Pillbug
Does this count as our safety brief? Do I need to fill out a hazard waiver?

Radical 90s Wizard
Aug 5, 2008

~SS-18 burning bright,
Bathe me in your cleansing light~
It's Saturday Idiots!

Softface
Feb 15, 2011

Some things can't be unseen
Hey guys, the folder with all the Form 55s got corrupted, so I'm going to need you go get with your supervisor and get those accomplished again. If your supervisor is out get with your supervisor's supervisor. This needs to be 100% before we leave today.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Zeris posted:

Nobody's going home til we all post one positive

DD214 on the wall.

quote:

and one negative

Might shave my beard soon.

pick up the pace
Dec 7, 2009

I know it's 0900 on a Saturday but we need a duty replacement now

^an actual text sent this morning

Flikken
Oct 22, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

pick up the pace posted:

I know it's 0900 on a Saturday but we need a duty replacement now

^an actual text sent this morning

Say that you're drunk.

Laranzu
Jan 18, 2002

Flikken posted:

Say that you're drunk.

Keep a bottle in your trunk and pull over and chug some so that you are.

Kaliber
Jun 16, 2005

pick up the pace posted:

I know it's 0900 on a Saturday but we need a duty replacement now

^an actual text sent this morning

I had to send one of those txt out to my Soldier Wednesday night. "Hey man, cover down on CQ because no one showed up and I'll give you all of Thursday off in addition to the 4 day Fri/Mon"

I never seen anyone get dressed and to duty that fast in my life.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
100% recall outside troop right now. You have ten minutes or it's an article 15.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
p.s. Top doesn't care if you've been drinking. Get a cab.

Acknowledge.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
Where are you? Are you with Smith? SFC T is pissed.

tyler
Jun 2, 2014

*passed out in tub full of puke and poo poo this whole time*

Riot Carol Danvers
Jul 30, 2004

It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.
One of the SNCO's in another squadron in the wing who lives off base got a DUI last night, so everyone be outside your barracks at 0630 on Sunday morning in full dress blues for open ranks and a room inspection.

(a real thing that happened multiple times)

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

I'm gonna need the passwords to everybody's social media accounts before release. Get on it.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde
Yeah dudes, the CO wants us all to have you call your car insurance agency and have them speak to me, your squad leader, and tell me that you have a valid insurance policy.

Mustang
Jun 18, 2006

:thunk:
Have you considered not attending the Captain's Career Course?
:thunk:

This thread is hitting too close to home

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde
Hey dudes its 1700, but before we can go home we have to get AOAP samples from our vehicles. Yeah it takes 2 hours lol, just do them cold who cares gently caress the Army. They'll get deadlined and then we can chill :c00l:

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
I need everyone to stand by after COB to conduct POV inspections. While you're waiting, you will get with your platoons to fill out Trips for the upcoming four day. I don't care if your plan is to sit in the barracks for the entire 96 hours or if it's to hijack a convoy full of double-ended dildos; every swinging dick in this formation will complete a report and have it signed off on by their first line. Because of last weekend, we will maintain one hundred percent accountability at all times. I want an up by 0800 every day. If you get arrested, I ain't coming to get you until Wednesday. I don't want any phone calls, roger?

Platoon sar'nts, take charge.

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

REMEMBER TROOPS

FALSE MOTIVATION

SOMETIMES YOU NEED IT TO GET THROUGH

LIKE SOMETIMES YOUR WIFE TELLS YOU TO DO THE DISHES AND YOU GOTTA SHUT UP AND SAY ROGER THAT OR YOU'RE OUT ON YOUR rear end

ALMOST HAPPENED TO ME

TILL I LEARNED THAT FALSE MOTIVATION

Kawasaki Nun
Jul 16, 2001

by Reene

The Rat posted:

REMEMBER TROOPS

FALSE MOTIVATION

SOMETIMES YOU NEED IT TO GET THROUGH

LIKE SOMETIMES YOUR WIFE TELLS YOU TO DO THE DISHES AND YOU GOTTA SHUT UP AND SAY ROGER THAT OR YOU'RE OUT ON YOUR rear end

ALMOST HAPPENED TO ME

TILL I LEARNED THAT FALSE MOTIVATION

In PO2 indoc I learned that men much wiser than me insisted to their wives that they were the captain, and their family were the crew, and for whatever reason this was not an acceptable analogy for use in Navy families.

What I'm saying is that the captain never does the dishes, ever.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde
just lol if you dont make your family stand at parade rest

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit
Every morning I take my family out for PT and at the end of each week I administer an APFT.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
lol if you don't give your wife counseling statements.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur
I have an appointment at 1630.

The appointment slip is on my clipboard.

Nice and hot piss
Jan 31, 2004

Hey son, lay out your friggen backpack the night before I wanna make sure you got your packing list down and complete.

OH WHATS THIS ONLY 3 PEN'S INSTEAD OF 4? GUESS WHO'S DOGGONE PUSHING FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT.

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Laranzu
Jan 18, 2002
It's a long weekend so make sure you call me if you need a ride before you do something stupid. I'll be incoherently wasted because I hate my life and all of you so I won't pick up but I'm always there for you.

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