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trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

im still happy playing thief: the dark project op

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trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Control Volume posted:

goombastomp: having a penis inside your rear end and cumming all over yourself

i called them anal orgasms because its the first one i thought of, how ive probably had my rear end hosed 10000000000 in my lifetime and it always feels awesome, the little squish effect, the fact that it maintains your forward momentum and you can fly off of them like springs. Bellisimo!

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

ive been using the klobb to great affect and its making my friends go wild

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

mysterious loyall X posted:

That feel when you click on a thread called stealth games and inatead of shadow tactics, mgs, mark of the ninja, tenchu etc ppl are talking about pbug and h1z1
Truly sad!

basically it was agreed upon that the best stealth game ever is thief and all discussion after just became non canon white noise

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Major Isoor posted:

:( Well, you're always welcome to draw attention away from PUBG! (Which I think I will now pee-bug instead of pub-gee as per your typo, as that sounds much better/more easy to remember!) I only brought it up, because I like playing games similar to PUBG stealthily, rather than running-and-gunning like a lot of players seem to.

Also, I agree about Thief ttjo, although I prefer Deadly Shadows (or whatever it was called) over the earlier ones, myself. I think I'm in the minority on that, though.

youre insane

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Seventh Arrow posted:

Unless they've been ported to PC, I don't have a way to play them.

use an emulator

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

serial cleaner looks boring

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

ive been playing satellite reign and like how it wont let you save at all during a mission so you just have to commit to being spotted and either escalate into combat or try to stealth long enough the alert dissapears.. unless of course you want to play in the most tedious way possible and load a save to start all over again in which case you should be the next elusive target in hitman

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Honestly you can just, like, run around a corner and crouch and they'll forget you're there in about ten seconds. Fun game though. I like having a couple of absurdly beefy lads blowing things up while my stealth and hacker stroll in in the background

yeah its not exactly liek its high level ai, i shot a drone down in the middle of the markets after it caught me high jacking a person and not a single person could find the squad hiding in the cover they just fired from after i did that

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

ive never felt like playing a bridge builder again after i played pontifex for 24 hours straight at a lan when i was 14

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

well i exaggerate a little.. i would stop for around half an hour at a time to win games in the dessert combat tournament i was in with my friends

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

the mouse is extremely cute and id love to play it in 4k on an xbox one x with my girlfriend

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Major Isoor posted:

I don't know about you guys, but I've just preordered Hitman 2 gold edition. I'm looking forward to picking up the story (and finding more crazy assassination methods) in mid-November!
Hopefully all my unlocked suits get moved across from the previous Hitman game, though - I quite like the gloved variants of some of those.

Also, Sean Bean is the first elusive target for Hitman 2; they even made a teaser for it, haha (I'd link it, but I'm at work currently) I think he gets unlocked around the 20th November.

im looking forward to refunding it

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Seventh Arrow posted:

The original "Gangsters" game was like this, although it was kind of buggy and you didn't really have control over your li'l mobsters. If I recall correctly, you started with a barebones crew and then you would buy up properties and make them into front businesses and then send out your guys to either recruit more mobsters or enforce your protection rackets. It was pretty fun for what it was.

i played the poo poo out of this as a kid

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

getting nostalgic for mandatory instant fail stealth sections in engines not built for it

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

ah, I see you've made it to jedi outcast then

lmfao, the whole time i played that section i was thinknig about how cool it would be if it actually took advantage of using force powers to manipulate people and the environment instead of me running straight to the vents and then just popping out to stand by the alarm console swinging my lightsabre at anyone that came near

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

It's extremely funny that that section is followed by the biggest set piece in the game where you and Luke go Dynasty Warriors on a million sith then blow up the entire place, like Kyle Katarn just forgot he was a Jedi for half an hour. I know that's always the case in those sections but it's so particularly loving dumb lol

lmfao, i love it so much

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

badass main character: i just cut through 1000 guards and all without even getting a scratch on me
badass main character [suddenly sees 3 guards awkwardly positioned around a single control panel spinning in place]: hmm, i better not raise the alarm, maybe there's another way around

me: oh hell yes, now the real game begins

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

note to self for good stream idea: collecting a list of mandatory instant fail stealth sections and playing them all back to back

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

In Training posted:

In the Shenmue one the guards kick Ryo out and then he goes to sleep for 23 hours

lmfao, shenmue ftw

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

it looks interesting but i would never spend that amount of money on early access

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

STONE COLD 64 posted:

when i was in 5th grade i did something similar in the little doorway to my classroom, shimmying myself all the way up and keeping myself up there through the tension of pressing my legs and hands against the walls of the outer doorway. i held this until my teacher immediately spotted me from the little window above the door.
he yelled at me to get down from there but with how high i had climbed i was too scared to just drop down so they had to get the janitor to bring his ladder to come get me.

lmfao

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

fire brigade turning up full lights and sirens with 3 trucks to get a 38 year old man down from a tree while his wife stands at the bottom waving a brand new collectors edition call of duty begging him to come down

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

i just checked and those gasmes are Seventh Arrow recommended so now im interested

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Love Stole the Day posted:

New stealth game that came out a couple of weeks ago: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1355650/Filcher/

felcher

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Major Isoor posted:

Ah, your stealthgaming senses were tingling! Perfect timing as always :D

Shadwen seems cool though, after reading your post! That time-pausing ability seems cool. Kinda reminds me of Blades of the Shogun in a way, I guess. Welp, sounds like I'm adding two more games to my growing list

they were always here, you just didnt notice ;)

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

im waiting for the seventh arrow review before i even consider it

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

cool, i'll wishlist that bad boy now

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007


lmfao

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Seventh Arrow posted:

Maybe I'll do the whole Deus Ex series. I really did not like the closet-sized levels in IW when it came out, but I can give it another shake after all these years.

I'm going to review both Plague Tale games since the first one was $20 on GOG :v:

hopefully its been fixed as a gog release or whatever, but iw would basically reload the entire game for each map load. modern machines wouldnt close the window from the previous map so youd end up with 100s of windows that had to be closed when you went to quit

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

wandering the jungle aimlessly for weeks hoping to fall into a pit of quicksand

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Sub-Actuality posted:

Chaos Theory would be a solid game club pick

i did put in on my ps2 recently, i shall not be selecting it though

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Love Stole the Day posted:

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1531020/SPECTRE/

Announced a new indie Splinter Cell multiplayer-like

unless its free to play that poo poo is DOA

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

im going to preorder it so i can refund that rear end on launch

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

so they took away the best part of the riddler trophies...

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

Seventh Arrow posted:

The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay







Usually when I do reviews, I'll put a link to the digital storefront for the game so interested gamers can go buy it directly from Steam or GoG. Not so here! Why? Because you can't get it on digital storefronts anymore. Not sure why, but I assume it's licensing-related. So if you didn't get it back in the day, your only option for now might be to get a hard copy. Apparently, Vin Diesel has another Riddick movie or two coming down the pipe, so hopefully this will inspire a re-release of the game on digital platforms. Also, this title is from 2004 and there is some archaic DRM to bypass. There are threads on the Steam and GoG message boards that will show you how to do this.

The game starts with you - one Richard B. Riddick, being incarcerated in...you guessed it! The sci-fi prison complex known as Butcher Bay. Riddick engages in a number of wacky hijinx, which often result in him being captured, only to escape again. At first you have a bit of limited freedom, being able to move within specific areas of the complex; however, you eventually wind up moving through mining structures, a space port, offices, and lots and lots of corridors. Stealth afficionados may be dismayed to find out that, for much of the first part of the game, the gunplay is generous and the stealth is minimal. It's about at the halfway point that RBR gets his infamous "eye-shine" - his night-vision that allows him to see in the dark. Of course, you're going to regret using it in brightly-lit areas, as it turns everything around you into visual mush. One you get the eye-shine, the stealth becomes a much more predominant feature in the game. Especially because it's about the same time that you get the tranquilizer gun, a weapon that lets you shock guards as well as wreck any lights in the area. This sounds like it would trivialize the game - and it kind of does - but the cheaty, omniscient nature of the guards AI means that they often get the drop on you even when you have the blackened room advantage. Still, the stealth is fun while it lasts, and hopefully you enjoy it because once certain designated story beats occur, you're back to a more run-and-gun playstyle for the rest of the game. Granted, they give you a minigun with unlimited ammo, but people who wanted sci-fi Splinter Cell might be disappointed.

The settings and environment look good for a 2004 game. Mind you, the game apparently was given a remaster when its sequel, "Assault on Dark Athena" was likewise given a remaster, but a lot of its design and esthetic remains from the original release. The UI is minimalistic and unintrusive. When you are in stealth mode and hidden by shadows, the screen and UI will have a subtle blue tint to it. This gives you a good indicator of when you are unseen without having to look at a light meter in the corner all the time. And it's not as ugly as the screen turning black and white like it does in Splinter Cell: Conviction. For those who care, yes Vin Diesel does the voice of Riddick. Although this game came out after Deus Ex (but just before Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory), there aren't really many approaches to solving problems. You're stuck with going down corridors and doing things the way that the developer wants you to. All of this may make it sound like I'm being down on Escape from Butcher Bay, but I'm actually not. This is a pretty quality game, and is revered for good reason. However, from a stealth perspective you may want to evaluate how much run-and-gun, non-stealth you want to put up with before you approach it.

always meant to play this, might be a priority install when i get an og xbox

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

i might play gunpoint again, its been long enough it should feel fresh

trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

theres some godlike gaming on that list

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trying to jack off
Dec 31, 2007

i only played chaos theory on release and it kicked rear end, but i would never in a million years have compared it to hitman

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