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Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


If this game doesn't end up at 92+ on Metacritic then I will drink a gallon of ink.

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Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Lol, from a 60/100 review

"The catch is that equipment must be unlocked through leveling up (more points are given when your team wins a match) and buying items at a shop, which can only be reached by exiting the online lobby and walking your character across a puny hub. Having to gain levels feels like the result of Nintendo just throwing in a deliberate RPG-like element into the game experience in order to extend playtime. More preferable would have been to make all weapons and armor available at the beginning of the game in order to reward strategic thinking and skill immediately and make battles more fascinating in general. This more open approach would also have made the shop unnecessary and thus reduced the amount of time a player has to spend with menus and the game's garrulous merchant.

Perhaps Nintendo includes the busywork of a leveling system to distract players from the fact that they're limited to playing on a paltry number of maps for arbitrary periods of time. In any case, the developer could have made a better game if it had increased the variety of environments one might interact in within a given slot of time (a la Overwatch)."

Yeah let's just start with everything unlocked and no leveling up, hurrrr. The slow-drip of unlocks and updates is half the fun.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Give me digital or give me death.

Do we know yet if Ranked Battle is available straight away or do you have to level up first?

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


I'd like to wish a heartfelt "gently caress You" to anyone in time zones east of me.

Do get cooked. There I said it.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


robot roll call posted:

typically nintendo games drop at midnight EST for everyone

I'm EST anyway, I mean everyone that already could have it now. So close...

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Down for me too I even entered all my card info ahhh

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


JackDarko posted:

Thank you! Looks like i'm in the same boat regardless. Hopefully as more people give up this problem solves itself?

Maybe if we all keep spamming to load the store it will suddenly work. at least that's my plan

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Well, I had unreasonably high expectations for this game and they still got blown away. 10/10 would splat again (and again and again)

The only downside is I am monopolizing the TV to the point where my girlfriend will probably start to resent me soon, but then I can just switch to handheld and stay off the hook!

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


How is this still at 84 on Metacritic? The game is fresher than fresh air! I guess the first wave of reviewers is waiting a bit before revising to 100. Strange

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Dr. Fetus posted:

Oh no, people don't think the game is perfect, what a tragedy.

This guy gets it.

I went like 3 rounds without even touching the Rainmaker, then the first time I got it I took it straight in for a knockout. Booyah!

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Hopefully this is a planned, fresh update or balancing patch. But why does it have to be during Rainmaker ahhhhhhh

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


I am alarmingly bad at Salmon Run, but it rules.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Internet Kraken posted:

But it makes me feel good

Speaking of which, does your level even do anything other than unlock more weapons?

You can do league at 15. Also I think level affects which items are offered in the shops, at least up to a certain point. Other than that, not really... Maybe factors in to matchmaking algorithms or some such

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


LethalGeek posted:

I love this silly game so loving much and will probably never fully get bored of it. It's too good.

Booyah!

Rainmaker for President. I love seeing the schedule on Splatnet so I can plan around the ones I want. That's not sad at all coming from a 28 year-old child...

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


All I do is ink, ink, ink no matter what
I got tickets on my mind, I can never get enough
Every time I step up in the Splat Zones, everybody's rank goes up
And they booyah! And they booyah! And they booyah!

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


I can't wait to get home from work so I can focus on my second (and more important) job at Grizzco.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Had a Splat Zones game this morning where we were down 0-96 at The Reef but we won on a knockout with like 2 seconds left. Used ink armor with a couple secs to go with me and a teammate furiously splashing the zone, bought us enough time to seal it.

My only regret is when you have a thrilling last-second victory, you might not have time to Booyah! without risking the momentum.

If you don't spam the gently caress out of Booyah! after a Salmon Run win then sell your Switch immediately and get cooked.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Looks like today's Salmon Run has three automatics and a Splatling gun of some sort... As someone who is totally incompetent with brushes / rollers that is pretty good news. But Steelheads are going to be a bitch with no chargers.

Speaking of Steelheads, this article was a month before the game came out. Coincidence? https://www.usnews.com/news/best-st...-steelhead-fish

Of course the counts are low, most have migrated to the Inkopolis coasts.

Edit for below: Yeah now that you mention it, Splatling Gun should do the trick on them.

Deltron 3030 fucked around with this message at Aug 1, 2017 around 16:04

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


I figured the Grizzco gear is intentionally unfresh. The gear abilities seem solid but it's like wearing your work uniform or brand out in public when you're off the clock.

Edit: So yeah basically what Dr. Voodoo said.

Fake edit: Team Mayo is so nervous, just forfeit now!

Deltron 3030 fucked around with this message at Aug 1, 2017 around 19:04

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Lakbay posted:

Is there actually a bonus for staying in matchmaking after a win? Besides not having to deal with the billion loading screens

Nah no bonus, I think he was just saying it's time-consuming to exit the Lobby, walk over to Murch, scrub, then go back to the Lobby after every match.

Hmm, I just noticed that when you're looking at the Battle schedules in the Splatnet app, you can click on a map and it'll pull up your win percentage in each Ranked mode. Incidentally, I am hot garbage at The Reef so far.

Also if you click on the Splatfest banner you can see which team your friends have joined.

Deltron 3030 fucked around with this message at Aug 1, 2017 around 19:49

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


I hope we eventually see battle stages with Bounce Pads. I can imagine that getting pretty hilarious / chaotic

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


I just realized you can dodge-roll in mid-air with dualies. Jump while not shooting, then start shooting and press jump again and you'll somersault in whatever direction you press and do a quick landing.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Welp, I made it to Over-achiever in Salmon Run and lost my first four shifts, probably one more loss from busting back down to Go-getter.

First shift got a Goldie fountain thing and no one knew what to do, we got like 2 eggs that wave. Second shift got the Mother-ship and fell short of the quota. Third shift I loving choked as the last survivor and couldn't revive teammates floating right next to as I hopped around like a fool with no ink in my charger before dying. Fourth shift we got Goldie again and we missed the quota by 1.

Does the Mother ship immediately steal eggs once it latches on to the basket or is there still a second to knock it off with no losses?

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


GI_Clutch posted:

I wish when you went back to Inkopolis Square, it would put you near whatever it was you just exited. More specifically, I hate exiting Salmon Run, only to have to walk all the way across the map to get my rewards.

Yeah this is pretty tedious... ditto for going to talk to Murch.

Just think of it as a metaphor for employers making you jump through hoops to get paid.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Frankston posted:

I think my octobrush is broken because I have to get right up in someone's face and then flail it around for about 5 seconds whilst hoping they don't move or shoot me before it kills them.

OTOH, enemies can just briefly flick theirs in my general direction and I'll die pretty much instantly.

I think it does more damage if it's already dragging on the ground and you just crash into them, then add a couple slashes as needed. At least that's how rollers work. I rarely use either though so I'd wait for a second opinion.

In other news, splat bombs are the truth in Rainmaker.

Deltron 3030 fucked around with this message at Aug 3, 2017 around 23:21

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Frankston posted:

Also I've had the most miserable time recently, I've swung from 31-19 to 21-29 over the past two days. It seems like if I'm not totally on the ball and playing the game of my life every game then we lose because my teams are just consistently poo poo. I popped a 2x XP ticket and then went 4-16. gently caress.

XP tickets really are the kiss of death. I used one when I was one win away from getting out of A- Rainmaker, then proceeded to lose 4 straight for the meter reset. Back to the inking board...

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Salmon Run, Wave 3, 10 seconds left and I'm the only one alive. Swarmed by enemies but it's high tide so not much room to run. 3... 2... Pushed to the edge where I was forced to jump off the pier, but miraculously time expired as I was coming down. Cries of Help turn to Booyah as the 4 inner tubes celebrate a shift well done.

Basically Salmon Run owns.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Ketchup vs Ketchup for like 6 straight matches... I know everyone is having that but eh. I'd rather wait longer in the matchup lobby and play Mayo.

Fake edit: Finally just played Mayo and Ketchup took it down in a close one. Face.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


This isn't really true in Ranked, but at the beginning of Turf War you should go left if you're on the left side of the spawn point and vice versa. Frustrating when everyone starts off in the same area.

M.A.R.E. - Mayo Abuse Resistance Education

Just say no to Mayo.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Atoramos posted:

I played against a mayo team with a level 2 player named #ketchup that proceeded to throw the match

Haha. Agent 5 deep undercover. Ketchup gonna mess you up.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


gently caress me, going on a massive losing streak with like 25 points to go before King

Deltron 3030 fucked around with this message at Aug 6, 2017 around 02:31

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Supercar Gautier posted:

Nonono, I don't mean mash the whole D-pad. I very specifically mean mash only down.

Ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah

This is correct.

Ah-ah

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


If you complete Wave 3 of Salmon Run with Dualies and you don't fire them straight up in the air in celebration like Yosemite Sam while spamming Booyah, then I don't want to know you.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Does Ink Armor automatically jump to all living teammates, or do they have to be standing nearby?

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Is the Inkjet a lovely special, or do I just suck with it?

I probably get killed while using it more often than I get a kill. Seems easy to dodge the shots but it's a slow float and I usually get picked off. I know you can dip with L while using it but doesn't help much. It's decent for splatting the Rainmaker shield or painting the splat zone, but seems like crap offensively.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Splat Zones is growing on me, despite being my least favorite mode in Splatoon 1. Dualies are pretty good for it with the mobility to circle around the zone and get the jump on fools.

(Still gently caress Moray Towers, though)

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


I hope this isn't considered blasphemy to the Booyah gods, because I have great respect for them, but sometimes I sarcastically spam Booyah when we are seconds away from a definite loss in Ranked or Salmon Run.

Good way to blow off ink.

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


A Tale of Rock Bottom:

I considered making a new account for this to remain anonymous, but I want other Inklings to know the real risks of this "game" we play. You can't hide from the Stingray. It will find you and there will be a reckoning like you never eelieved possible.

So I'm a pretty regular poker player, solid winner long-term, but came home lateish last night after a medium-sized loss of $500. A bit of bad luck, a bit of bad play, so goes poker sometimes but it hurts worse right after, of course.

I get home and think "Hey I'll play some Splatoon 2, that'll take my mind off of poker. Oh hell yes, Rainmaker is the Ranked Battle for the next hour!"

I win my first few games and get my ranking meter filled almost completely to the end, definitely one win away from moving from A to A+ with only one crack.

"Ok let's finish this!" laughed Deltron 3030.

Lose a couple battles. *crack*

"Heh... Just gotta win one I still got this!" *crack*

"Ok... Put on your freshest gear and loving finish this," rasped Deltron 3030.

...

*SHATTER*

"Oh God... What have I done? Wait, Salmon Run is still open. I'm at 0/99 as a Profreshional. I'll probably just loving blow it, I'm terrible with this weapon rotation and it's what I deserve."

*second wave Wiped, demoted to Over-achiever*

The rest of the night is pretty hazy, but I woke up to a scene of mayhem with Long John Silver's calamari boxes everywhere, trails of cocktail sauce running to and from the bathroom, ink-soaked paint brushes littering the floor like a carpet of syringes.

Judd, give me the strength to recharge my ink and Booyah to those I have Ouched against in these decadent times. Help me to see the light at the end of the tower.

Deltron 3030 fucked around with this message at Aug 15, 2017 around 17:05

Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Not a Children posted:

Psyonically, bionically forget how you feel

and try again tomorrow



I know now, I know now.

What is splatted may never splat. But rises again fresher and stronger.

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Deltron 3030
Jul 23, 2006

I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!


Re: People making ridiculous mistakes at high ranks.

Sometimes I feel like Agent 4 -- dodging, rolling, and splatting fools like an artist, all while still having time to Booyah! throughout the match.

Other times I feel like Pearl -- roll into the water, stand too close to the rainmaker shield, get splatted by the guy who started with his back to me, etc.

It also kinda depends how baked I am.

The game is streaky as hell but that's what keeps everyone coming back. It's like poker... If the best players won every time, there would be no bad players left and the game would die.

Last night in Tower Control we splatted their whole team, shouts of Booyah! unite as we all dash forward to take more ground and pin the enemy. Things are going great until I look at the map and see the Tower has slowly coasted back to the middle because we all ran off without it, so our counter is only at 71.

Deltron 3030 fucked around with this message at Aug 29, 2017 around 19:04

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