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Det_no
Oct 24, 2003


Nintendo is loving nuts. You know what I love the most though? It's basically the same principle as used in Duck Hunt.

Just thinking about it makes me smile and feel fuzzy inside.

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Det_no
Oct 24, 2003


Mahoning posted:

Are people honestly so dumb that they think you’re paying $70 for cardboard or are they being funny?

They truly are.

Det_no
Oct 24, 2003


loving Nintendo forcing me to teach my children to care after their stuff and/or actually play with them. loving fuckers. The bastards. How could they?

Det_no
Oct 24, 2003


Cobalt Viper posted:

Ahh, you don't have children I see.

FZeroRacer posted:

This just in: Kids are clumsy. To prevents kids from intentionally or accidentally destroying things, Durability Is Good. That's why you don't hand kids a tablet without a good rubber case.

If you think so little about your kids that you think duct tape won't fix whatever "destruction" they might cause then maybe you can build the toy-con things and wrap them up with a condom for protection. Not make the same mistake twice, you know?

The games are E to E10+ for god's sake. A ten year old ain't gonna break it and if they are younger then why the hell are you not building it with them?

Det_no fucked around with this message at Jan 18, 2018 around 01:28

Det_no
Oct 24, 2003


FirstAidKite posted:

SK had serious plot stuff????

I bought one of the PC games last sale so I watched a playthrough of the DS title to catch up on the plot. Here's a list of events that happened in that:

- "Evil" ninja girls are tasked with putting together a team and invading the good girl's school to steal a powerful ninja secret scroll. This is told from the perspective of Haruka, who is kind of a dominatrix and assembles her team out of 3 "pet" male students who are super into being abused (Listen, bear with me here.) Weird as it is, it is made clear through the character interactions that it's an intensely intimate and loving relationship for all parties involved because of course it is.

- School invasion happens, ninja scroll is easily found but stealing it unleashes some ninja spell that makes lesser ninja go berserk. All the named protagonists are forced to kill their unnamed friends/squad mates, including Haruka who almost cries as she basically has to kill her lovers (who of course beg for death when they realize they can't control themselves and are going to hurt her). One of the protagonists partly suffers from the effects of the spell but manages to keep her mind.

- The ninja girls initially succeed in stealing the scroll but are later tricked by the good girls. Nonetheless, the evil girl's teacher sends them off to a beach retreat cause we need to fit a CG scene of the girls in bikinis. The entire trip the characters are revealed to be well aware that it's a break to take their minds off the massacre and prepare themselves for inevitable ninja war.

- The youngest girl of the team whose name I can't remember is SO shaken by the fact she had to kill her buddies and almost lost her mind that she escapes, risking being targeted for death by her school, afraid that next time she is going to lose it for real and hurt the other evil ninja girls who are actually all really chill and friends.

- Everyone is obviously worried sick about their missing buddy. Narration then shifts to Hikage who is this sort of emotionless girl that really would like to feel things but she is not quite sure how, ya'lls. As she wanders about looking for her team-mate she expositions about her past life as an orphan and how nobody really liked her cause she is weird - at least until she joined a gang whose leader was another girl that's actually kind to her. It's a hard life and even if the gang leader is feared all over the city, gang warfare involves a lot of lesser gang members being killed by the dozen, violence that the aforementioned gang leader finally tries to stop by going to a peace meeting with other gang leaders.

- As Hikage reminisces she finds her missing team-mate's battered and dirty body atop a bunch of garbage bags, which concludes the earlier exposition by revealing that her gang leader friend never came back and Hikage spent a while trying to find her. Hikage only found her a week later, long dead and discarded in an alley with her blood-soaked figure torn to shreds by innumerable knife cuts (incidentally caused by the girl's own knife, which Hikage then keeps as her weapon). Seeing her team-mate in the garbage brings back the painful memory and the otherwise immutable Hikage drops to her knees in shock, tears streaming down her face.

- .... BUT THEN THE TEAMMATE IS OK AND ONLY PLAYING DEAD CAUSE SHE IS STILL AFRAID OF COMING BACK. Everyone hugs and cries and the evil girls find new determination to go and fight the good guys!

And that's more or less how it goes. I had NO idea it was going to be like that at all but apparently the game is all about pushing these lighthearted, wacky good times on your face and then going "OH BY THE WAY..." and doing something messed up. Pretty much EVERYONE has a tragic story, including the teachers of each respective ninja school.

Det_no
Oct 24, 2003


FirstAidKite posted:

Hahahahaha that all sounds like absolute trash, like an attempt to make it seem deeper than it actually is by going "but wait, you don't know about their dark backstory and tragic actions" before getting back to focusing on t&a

It really is but we all know you can't put out a game solely about tits and asses on a major console. People would faint.

Det_no
Oct 24, 2003


TheKingofSprings posted:

Nintendo stock is up 2%.

Please tell me there's something else that's causing that

http://www.nintendolife.com/news/20...pan_game_awards

There. Stocks began to rise on the exact same day Nintendo won like eight awards. Realistically the Bowsette thing hadn't even taken off at that point.

Also female King Boo is better than female Bowser.

Det_no fucked around with this message at Sep 24, 2018 around 20:47

Det_no
Oct 24, 2003


Sir, that piano looks like it only plays minor scales. Please step away from the computer with your hands up.

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Det_no
Oct 24, 2003


That's hosed up. Good on everyone involved for being quick with his last request though.

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