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Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR,
YOU MAKE A DIME,
I'LL LICK HIS BOOT TILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SHINE.

I'm new to this wonderful sub forum and this will be my first post to the army of animal lovers that frequent this area of the forums. I just purchased, or should I say leased, a very nice car but I am very afraid to park my car in my drive way because my neighbor, who is a very big cat lover, has these felines that love to climb the hood of my cars. In the past it was ok since they are very cute cats and my cars were pieces of canine poo poo bit now I have my dream car. I haven't purchased a car cover and likely won't for a bit since I threw a sizable down payment and am poor. Any advice for me? I don't want to scare them but am very lost on this subject. The internet speaks of moth balls and plastic snakes but I am goon through and through and wish to ask my brethren.

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Blackchamber
Jan 25, 2005

Much like the porch-cat the advice given for hood-cat, fence-cat, roof-cat, or any -cat for that matter is to just let them do their thing and invite them into your home for treats and petting if possible.

If anything hood-cat is doing you a great service, since no birds will want to perch near your car and wont be able to poo poo on it.

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR,
YOU MAKE A DIME,
I'LL LICK HIS BOOT TILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SHINE.

Blackchamber posted:

Much like the porch-cat the advice given for hood-cat, fence-cat, roof-cat, or any -cat for that matter is to just let them do their thing and invite them into your home for treats and petting if possible.

If anything hood-cat is doing you a great service, since no birds will want to perch near your car and wont be able to poo poo on it.

Wtf

Blackchamber
Jan 25, 2005


Welcome to pet island.

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

trap the strays and take them to a rescue.

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR,
YOU MAKE A DIME,
I'LL LICK HIS BOOT TILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SHINE.

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

trap the strays and take them to a rescue.

I was thinking rat poison and cat food? Too much?

Wrestlepig
Feb 25, 2011

my mum says im cool

Toilet Rascal
I don't think cats are going to be much of an issue, unless they're ferals that hang around your neighbour. They'll sit on the hood but they probably won't poo poo on it or scratch it. Shoo them away and if it's a real problem spray them with a bit of water (gently, don't blast with a hose or anything)

Automotive Insanity might be helpful. My advice for unwanted cats is to start wanting them, I'm probably not alone in that here.

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

Piggy Smalls posted:

I was thinking rat poison and cat food? Too much?

Rat poison is for rats. You have the wrong consonant at the front of your noun.

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


If you're willing to put out rat poison in cat food I think you deserve things making GBS threads on your piece of crap car.

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR,
YOU MAKE A DIME,
I'LL LICK HIS BOOT TILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SHINE.

Pollyanna posted:

If you're willing to put out rat poison in cat food I think you deserve things making GBS threads on your piece of crap car.

How about some advice I can use? Not everyone wants to make friends with a cat who climbs on expensive cars.

redgubbinz
May 1, 2007

I don't know about those cats but I trust my neighbor's calico cat implicitly.

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR,
YOU MAKE A DIME,
I'LL LICK HIS BOOT TILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SHINE.

redgubbinz posted:

I don't know about those cats but I trust my neighbor's calico cat implicitly.



If I had a piece of crap car like that I'd be willing to have all the cats you own on my car.

redgubbinz
May 1, 2007

Piggy Smalls posted:

If I had a piece of crap car like that I'd be willing to have all the cats you own on my car.

Very sorry whatever garbage you got suckered into buying doesn't have Superior Swedish Paint. Maybe you can get a refund if you ask nicely?

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Please post pics of this divine conveyance you have purchased. So we can decide if it's worth defending from these monsters.

Previa_fun
Nov 10, 2004

Piggy Smalls posted:

If I had a piece of crap car like that I'd be willing to have all the cats you own on my car.

I prefer Black/White calico cats

Elmnt80
Dec 30, 2012




I personally prefer it when Black and orange Tortiseshell cats like this one chill on my car. Sometimes I even let them inside!

Elmnt80 fucked around with this message at 03:11 on Jul 18, 2017

Ether Frenzy
Dec 22, 2006




Nap Ghost

Piggy Smalls posted:

If I had a piece of crap car like that I'd be willing to have all the cats you own on my car.

Low effort, if you had a good car you'd park it inside, but you have already stated you don't.

CAT INTERCEPTOR
Nov 9, 2004

Basically a male Margaret Thatcher
I am partial to a Black and White Cat on my car

Elmnt80
Dec 30, 2012


I kinda wish I had a White Cat that would chill on my Red Car like this dude.

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012



Jesus guys is it really that hard to find pix of cats near vehicles on the internet??

briefcasefullof
Sep 25, 2004
[This Space for Rent]
I installed a friendly fluffy dog in my red truck and it seemed to do okay at keeping cats away.



He keeps driving even though his license is expired...

CAT INTERCEPTOR
Nov 9, 2004

Basically a male Margaret Thatcher
HARD MODE GINGER AND WHITE cat on a RED Subaru Forester says gently caress you dogge I give no shits.

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR,
YOU MAKE A DIME,
I'LL LICK HIS BOOT TILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SHINE.

Ether Frenzy posted:

Low effort, if you had a good car you'd park it inside, but you have already stated you don't.

Well gently caress. I guess only people with garages can have nice cars. What kind of car do you have considering you live out of a box?

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR,
YOU MAKE A DIME,
I'LL LICK HIS BOOT TILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SHINE.

QuarkMartial posted:

I installed a friendly fluffy dog in my red truck and it seemed to do okay at keeping cats away.



He keeps driving even though his license is expired...

Dogs are 10000000000 times better than cats.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




CAT INTERCEPTOR posted:

HARD MODE GINGER AND WHITE cat on a RED Subaru Forester says gently caress you dogge I give no shits.



Gotta be careful with those cattes. This GINGER AND WHITE kitten is driving a SUBARU OUTBACK to look for something else to sit on...

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

Piggy Smalls posted:

Dogs are 10000000000 times better than cats.

Absolutely.

I prefer cats where they should be: indoors, out of my sight.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Some people don't want outdoor cats making GBS threads in their sandbox, sitting on their cars or eating the neighborhood birds. Source: as a kid one of my chores was to ping bbs off of the metal pole our birdfeeder was mounted on to scare off our rear end in a top hat neighbor's outdoor cats.

If you have an outdoor cat you are dramatically shortening its lifespan, contributing to the mass extinction of songbirds and are just generally sort of a dick.

Adiabatic
Nov 18, 2007

What have you assholes done now?

Liquid Communism posted:

Gotta be careful with those cattes. This GINGER AND WHITE kitten is driving a SUBARU OUTBACK to look for something else to sit on...



OP, my response is to rally the gently caress out of your World Rally Blue Subaru Impreza WRX STI so you don't care when a fuckin tiger catte hops on in

GnarlyCharlie4u
Sep 23, 2007

I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

CAT INTERCEPTOR posted:

HARD MODE GINGER AND WHITE cat on a RED Subaru Forester says gently caress you dogge I give no shits.


Username+post combo


Adiabatic posted:

OP, my response is to rally the gently caress out of your World Rally Blue Subaru Impreza WRX STI so you don't care when a fuckin tiger catte hops on in



How about an actual fuckin tiger on a black Rolls Royce?

redgubbinz
May 1, 2007

GnarlyCharlie4u posted:

Username+post combo


How about an actual fuckin tiger on a black Rolls Royce?


I tried to find a cat sitting on a 60s Sunbeam Tiger but surprisingly came up empty. Maybe that's the answer, OP - trade your heap in for one of those, cats don't sit on them!

In the meantime, here's another tiger inside a black Range Rover

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR,
YOU MAKE A DIME,
I'LL LICK HIS BOOT TILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SHINE.

Bought some cat food to feed my neighbors cat some special recipe I made up. I love cats sitting on my car and embrace it.

Ether Frenzy
Dec 22, 2006




Nap Ghost

Piggy Smalls posted:

Well gently caress. I guess only people with garages can have nice cars. What kind of car do you have considering you live out of a box?

Black 1985 Volvo 240 with green and white cats cash on it.


When you can actually afford your lifestyle it turns out you can even park your 3rd vehicle in the garage, sorry about your lovely troll falling flat

Maully Millions
Aug 10, 2014

Inappropriate.

Piggy Smalls posted:

Bought some cat food to feed my neighbors cat some special recipe I made up. I love cats sitting on my car and embrace it.

Lol this guy would rather kill cats than get a car cover. I hope all the birds in your neighborhood poo poo on your car, and you.

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


Piggy Smalls posted:

Bought some cat food to feed my neighbors cat some special recipe I made up. I love cats sitting on my car and embrace it.

Where do you live so I can poo poo on your car.

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR,
YOU MAKE A DIME,
I'LL LICK HIS BOOT TILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SHINE.

I wouldn't poison cats. If you read my post in the beginning I was looking for advice on an issue and was told to just embrace the problem. Such is life in goonville.

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012



I'm pretty sure poisoning cats is illegal unless you're in Australia in which case please poison the cats they're destroying our environment

Hello Sailor
May 3, 2006

we're all mad here

Never buy a car unless you can afford to pay cash. Take it back, use the "down payment" to buy a car you can afford, and use part of the money you're now not going to spend on a car payment, bank-required insurance coverage, and higher property taxes to rent a house with a garage. Park the car you can afford in the garage like a boss.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Can a cat person explain to me why they feel like it's okay in urban and suburban areas for them to just let the cat outside the door and let it wander all over everyone else's property and the roads? Because my interpretation as a not-cat person is basically this:

"I'm a huge irresponsible dickhead who doesn't give a poo poo about all the terrible things that can happen to this animal that I supposably like until after they happen."


I mean do people not know the death rate for feral cats? I can get not caring about other people's property or wildlife, that's a pretty normal level of callousness here, but what about your pet?

Eifert Posting fucked around with this message at 15:18 on Jul 22, 2017

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR,
YOU MAKE A DIME,
I'LL LICK HIS BOOT TILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SHINE.

Eifert Posting posted:

Can a cat person explain to me why they feel like it's okay in urban and suburban areas for them to just let the cat outside the door and let it wander all over everyone else's property and the roads? Because my interpretation as a not-cat person is basically this:

"I'm a huge irresponsible dickhead who doesn't give a poo poo about all the terrible things that can happen to this animal that I supposably like until after they happen."


I mean do people not know the death rate for feral cats? I can get not caring about other people's property or wildlife, that's a pretty normal level of callousness here, but what about your pet?

The answer is in this thread. Everyone else needs to just deal with it because if you don't your an rear end in a top hat. You need to bend your reality to accommodate a cat walking on your car or making GBS threads in your garden. It's not the cats fault it's the person complainings fault for not allowing the cat to sit on his/her car.

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Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


Piggy Smalls posted:

The answer is in this thread. Everyone else needs to just deal with it because if you don't your an rear end in a top hat. You need to bend your reality to accommodate a cat walking on your car or making GBS threads in your garden. It's not the cats fault it's the person complainings fault for not allowing the cat to sit on his/her car.

You can shoo cats away and stuff, just don't loving poison them.

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