Game of Thrones non-spoiler thread or some bullshit, whatever

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > Game of Thrones non-spoiler thread or some bullshit, whatever

Phi230: Feb 2, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Kawabata posted:

Magic? Hmmm.

This is basically george rr martin: medieval chronicles where the Lannisters are French, the Starks are something between Scandinavia and England, Dorne is Spain, King's Landing is maybe a lovely version of Rome, and all the eastern lands are basically Asia/Middle East depicted in a non-aggressively racist way most of the times, which is the best Martin could do it seems.

You can barely consider it fantasy, it's our world with different names and a lot of zombies in the north. There's gently caress all magic in Westeros except when Martin/the show need it to give plot armor to someone or get out of creative dead ends (like Jon Snow's death), or make the sloppiest naval warfare scenes like the one we just watched.

Also did someone's carotid artery exploded out of nowhere in the first few seconds of the battle? That looked hilarious because I was watching the episode with some friends and no one realized what the gently caress happened, it was like Greengrass directing a Bourne movie but even shittier somehow.

There's plenty of magic in westeros it's all just been cut from the show

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:47

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# ? May 19, 2024 10:55

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Tiptoes posted:

Can anyone explain to me how a fleet of 1,000 sheets sailed from the Iron Islands to King's Landing? Like I'm looking at a map of Westeros and all I can think is "did they sail all the way around the coast of Dorne and then ambush the Dornish leader in Dornish waters without anyone in Dorne noticing?" and it's bugging the hell out of me. Did they take a Panama Canal-esque shortcut somewhere?

My dude are you aware of the horizon

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:48

Comfortador: Jul 31, 2003; Just give me all the 3ggs_n_b4con you have.

Wait...wait.

I worry what you just heard was...
"Give me a lot of b4con_n_3ggs."

What I said was...
"Give me all the 3ggs_n_b4con you have"

...Do you understand?

zoux posted:

No magic except the dragons and the infinite army of the dead in the north.

That changed with the Comet

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:53

Phi230: Feb 2, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

zoux posted:

No magic except the dragons and the infinite army of the dead in the north.

And Maggy The Frog

And Quaithe

And the House of The Undying

And Bran

And Wargs

And Bloodraven

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:54

Nail Rat: Dec 29, 2000; Can't post for 8 hours!

How about the sex demon assassin?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:57

Phi230: Feb 2, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Nail Rat posted:

How about the sex demon assassin?

Or Mels old saggy tits

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:58

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Gee fellas, it sounds like there's actually a whole lot of magic in the show.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:58

Hexel: Nov 18, 2011

Lycus posted:

They haven't established Show-Euron as a magic user, but that storm did seem supernatural.

i think yara, theon and crew are just poo poo sailors/commanders

# ? Jul 24, 2017 18:59

Arglebargle III: Feb 21, 2006

Kawabata posted:

I have one question that I feel is important, how do you ambush a fleet with another fleet in the loving open sea

By staying over the horizon until nightfall. It's not complicated.

Euron knows every inch of the southern coast; he probably waited for them until they passed by, sailed parallel to them over the horizon until they reached a headland known for poor weather at that time of year, and attacked at that night. If your enemy is a meandering bunch of transports who you can't properly picket it would be pretty easy to keep a scout just topsails up shadowing the transports and signaling your fleet.

I thought the attack probably occurred on the southern coast of Westeros.

Arglebargle III fucked around with this message at 19:04 on Jul 24, 2017

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:01

A Buttery Pastry: Sep 4, 2011; Delicious and Informative!

Tiptoes posted:

Can anyone explain to me how a fleet of 1,000 sheets sailed from the Iron Islands to King's Landing? Like I'm looking at a map of Westeros and all I can think is "did they sail all the way around the coast of Dorne and then ambush the Dornish leader in Dornish waters without anyone in Dorne noticing?" and it's bugging the hell out of me. Did they take a Panama Canal-esque shortcut somewhere?

Portage. Just a quick jog to The Twins and they'd be able to get at Dany's fleet from the north. In any case, what makes you think it was in Dornish waters?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:02

Unzip and Attack: Mar 3, 2008; USPOL May

I missed what Arya said to Nymeria, was it "that's not you"? i.e. she's not going home to Jon but instead going back to KL to kill Cersei?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:11

Tiptoes: Apr 30, 2006; You are my underwater, underwater friends!

A Buttery Pastry posted:

Portage. Just a quick jog to The Twins and they'd be able to get at Dany's fleet from the north. In any case, what makes you think it was in Dornish waters?

Because the fleet they ambushed was heading back to Dorne to drop off Ellaria/Sand Snakes. I was not aware the Twins were capable of that though so that helps me. Information just travels too quickly and easily in this show at times so having a massive naval force operating nearby with literally no one on Dany's side the slightest bit aware of it feels weird to me.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:14

PantsBandit: Oct 26, 2007; it is both a monkey and a boombox

Unzip and Attack posted:

I missed what Arya said to Nymeria, was it "that's not you"? i.e. she's not going home to Jon but instead going back to KL to kill Cersei?

"that's not you" as in "you don't belong with me right now". Also it mirrors Ned saying that to Arya in regards to her being a princess or whatever.

It has layers, see. Like a cake or an ogre.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:14

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

You mean Varys was not aware of the giant Iron Borne fleet docking at kings landing? His former center of operations? He is loving merman none of his merbuds gave him a heads up? Plot holes!

Also Yara really, your bad rear end Uncle whom you ran away from has pledged your murder and you are not keeping tabs on him? I would think that maybe that would be a priority.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:22

Arglebargle III: Feb 21, 2006

Elephanthead posted:

You mean Varys was not aware of the giant Iron Borne fleet docking at kings landing? His former center of operations? He is loving merman none of his merbuds gave him a heads up? Plot holes!

Yeah this omission guaranteed the battle was gonna happen that episode.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:24

Happy Thread: Jul 10, 2005; by Fluffdaddy; Plaster Town Cop

Maybe Varys is the one who tipped Euron's fleet off of the Dorne plan in the first place?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:26

A Buttery Pastry: Sep 4, 2011; Delicious and Informative!

Unzip and Attack posted:

I missed what Arya said to Nymeria, was it "that's not you"? i.e. she's not going home to Jon but instead going back to KL to kill Cersei?

PantsBandit posted:

"that's not you" as in "you don't belong with me right now". Also it mirrors Ned saying that to Arya in regards to her being a princess or whatever.

It has layers, see. Like a cake or an ogre.

I don't think it's completely absurd to read the scene as Arya realizing that the person going back to her family isn't who she is anymore. Though it'll probably confuse a lot of people if she changes her mind again and goes back south without a really silly "My wolf convinced me that I'm an instrument of vengeance now, not a Stark" scene.

Tiptoes posted:

Because the fleet they ambushed was heading back to Dorne to drop off Ellaria/Sand Snakes. I was not aware the Twins were capable of that though so that helps me. Information just travels too quickly and easily in this show at times so having a massive naval force operating nearby with literally no one on Dany's side the slightest bit aware of it feels weird to me.

Just because they were headed for Dorne doesn't have to mean they were anywhere near. Euron might have been hanging around near Dragonstone, gotten word when the fleet left, and then attacked as soon as night had fallen. I do agree that they seemed really blas� about the whole thing, given that their original motivation was to flee the wrath of their uncle and his giant fleet.

Dumb Lowtax posted:

Maybe Varys is the one who tipped Euron's fleet off of the Dorne plan in the first place?

Gets rid of the most unstable/useless allies, and gives Cersei another chance to make a tyrant of herself. Good plan.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:32

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

Dumb Lowtax posted:

Maybe Varys is the one who tipped Euron's fleet off of the Dorne plan in the first place?

Kill off the allies that are trying to gently caress their queen, not a bad idea tbh

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:35

Kawabata: Apr 20, 2014; You plebians just don't know what epic literature is. You should try reading Stephanie Meyer, E.L. James, Dan Brown, or Ayn Rand.

zoux posted:

Gee fellas, it sounds like there's actually a whole lot of magic in the show.

I mean in a vacuum yeah but compare this to most fantasy worlds. It's a good thing btw, not saying it's a bad thing.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:35

MizPiz: May 29, 2013; by Athanatos

It's going to be a bit awkward when Arya and Brienne meet again in Winterfell. I know they aren't actually against each other, but the last time they saw each other, Arya did think she was a Lannister headhunter.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:35

Variable Haircut: Jan 25, 2012

Dumb Lowtax posted:

Maybe Varys is the one who tipped Euron's fleet off of the Dorne plan in the first place?

I was thinking it was Tyrion making a power play. He strongly disliked that his niece was murdered, and the Dornish girls blame him for papa snakes death. I like to think he was getting rid of them before they got rid of him.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:51

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

You are making the mistake of putting more thought into the scene than the writers did. Like how we all thought there must have been some twist to Arya being a brain dead moron at the end of last season.

Euron's fleet found them and destroyed them because that was the next item on the checklist as the show sprints towards its conclusion.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 19:54

MizPiz: May 29, 2013; by Athanatos

Maybe it was Dany getting rid of the women who took power by killing their predecessor. After all, she was only pardoning the allies who served the wrong ruler.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:01

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

You are making the mistake of putting more thought into the scene than the writers did. Like how we all thought there must have been some twist to Arya being a brain dead moron at the end of last season.

Euron's fleet found them and destroyed them because that was the next item on the checklist as the show sprints towards its conclusion.

It's the only conclusion you're gonna get.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:04

Tiptoes: Apr 30, 2006; You are my underwater, underwater friends!

A Buttery Pastry posted:

Just because they were headed for Dorne doesn't have to mean they were anywhere near. Euron might have been hanging around near Dragonstone, gotten word when the fleet left, and then attacked as soon as night had fallen. I do agree that they seemed really blas� about the whole thing, given that their original motivation was to flee the wrath of their uncle and his giant fleet.

It doesn't need to have happened specifically in Dornish waters but still having Dorne and the Ironborne in the same fight just gets my mind to thinking of how unbalanced some of these factions are. Euron pulled a fleet of a thousand ships out of his rear end and that's a massive navy to go unnoticed. But he's on the other side of the continent wreaking havoc with ease. And after so many seasons where the Ironborne were largely jokes, it doesn't feel right for them to pose such a large danger now. It feels unearned. Whereas the Dornish faction is composed entirely of just Ellaria and three teenagers. They didn't even bother having Dornish redshirts protecting Ellaria because the writers clearly don't give a gently caress about Dorne. Not that the writers paying more attention to the Dornish characters would really help at this point.

I just wish Areo Hotah was still alive and capable of kicking someone's rear end. I'm still pissed he didn't fight anyone.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:05

Happy Thread: Jul 10, 2005; by Fluffdaddy; Plaster Town Cop

A Buttery Pastry posted:

and gives Cersei another chance to make a tyrant of herself. Good plan.

U-DO Burger posted:

Kill off the allies that are trying to gently caress their queen, not a bad idea tbh

Huh? Could you elaborate on this?

Also doesn't portage mean carrying the ships over land? Weren't they too big?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:11

Blazing Ownager: Jun 2, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Tiptoes posted:

They didn't even bother having Dornish redshirts protecting Ellaria because the writers clearly don't give a gently caress about Dorne.

Sure they do, in a "How the gently caress can we clean up this crazy loving mess?" kind of way. Someone must have said "Let's have Euron kill them all," and was immediately patted on the back by all involved.

... I heard about the Dorne plot in the book and I actually like it. Holy gently caress did they scramble a perfectly good egg with that one.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:11

PantsBandit: Oct 26, 2007; it is both a monkey and a boombox

The Ironborne were a joke because they spent all their efforts amassing a giant fleet in a world where 90% of the combat takes place on the same continent. Plus they couldn't even raid without getting smacked down by the crown.

They're suddenly relevant again though, since Dany has brought her forces across the seas and made her base on the coast.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:12

Lycus: Aug 5, 2008; Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.

MizPiz posted:

It's going to be a bit awkward when Arya and Brienne meet again in Winterfell. I know they aren't actually against each other, but the last time they saw each other, Arya did think she was a Lannister headhunter.

I guess she doesn't think that anymore, because she should pretty pissed that Hot Pie informed a Lannister agent.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:12

Blind Pineapple: Oct 27, 2010; For The Perfect Fruit 'n' Kaman

1 part gin
1 part pomegranate syrup
Fill with pineapple juice
Serve over crushed ice; College Slice

Varys and Tyrion tipping off Euron (with Dany being in on it) makes too much sense. Yara and Theon are unnecessary baggage for them at this point, and they're gonna have to deal with Euron at some point either way. Might as well get rid of two of them and hope the third lets his guard down because he thinks Varys and/or Tyrion is pulling an inside job on Dany's operation. The only thing they need from Dorne is cannon fodder, which they'll still get if Ellaria endures a grizzly execution. Dany is all about a small inner circle, so why not clean out the riff raff? Somehow Olenna will still outlive everyone.

Olenna's comment about being a dragon and not listening to too many people adds some credibility to this interpretation, but we'll see if it plays out at all.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:17

PantsBandit: Oct 26, 2007; it is both a monkey and a boombox

I really don't see it as being in Dany or Tyrion's characters to be quite so conniving.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:20

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Jon Snow going to get some raised eyebrows from dragon aunt. Why didn't Littlefinger spill the beans?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:20

AnEdgelord: Dec 12, 2016

PantsBandit posted:

I really don't see it as being in Dany or Tyrion's characters to be quite so conniving.

Dany I get, but Tyrion? are we watching the same show?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:23

PantsBandit: Oct 26, 2007; it is both a monkey and a boombox

LordAbaddon posted:

Dany I get, but Tyrion? are we watching the same show?

Tyrion is clever but still honorable. I can't think of any situations he's been in comparable to allying with someone then sending them headlong into a trap. Especially not Theon and Yara who had done nothing to him other than to offer their services to his queen.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:24

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

LordAbaddon posted:

Dany I get, but Tyrion? are we watching the same show?

I think about seven different shows are being watched.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:25

Edgar Allen Ho: Apr 3, 2017; by sebmojo

It's gonna be cool if/when Dinklage gets to actually do something this season. For such a fan favourite the last exciting Tyrion moment was like two seasons ago. I hope the Rock looks cool, it's got my favourite description of all the famous castles.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:30

bawfuls: Oct 28, 2009

So there's going to be a Jon/Dany Oedipal thing going before Bran gets in touch with Jon and tells him the truth of his parentage right?

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:31

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

bawfuls posted:

So there's going to be a Jon/Danny Oedipal thing going before Bran gets in touch with Jon and tells him the truth of his parentage right?

Them being related only makes it more likely. They are Targaryens.

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:31

bawfuls: Oct 28, 2009

zoux posted:

Them being related only makes it more likely. They are Targaryens.

Yeah but she's the only one who grew up a Targ and with that idea maybe normalized. Jon isn't going to find out he's a Targ and then all of a sudden be like "ok cool that means incest is chill sign me up!"

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:33

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# ? May 19, 2024 10:55

tooterfish: Jul 13, 2013

Euron doesn't gently caress around does he?

Sorry not sorry to see the Sand Snakes go.

I was kinda bummed that Yara bought it too, but thinking back she and her fully armed and armoured warband did run away from a solitary naked man, so I guess her abilities might've been a tad overstated.

bawfuls posted:

Yeah but she's the only one who grew up a Targ and with that idea maybe normalized. Jon isn't going to find out he's a Targ and then all of a sudden be like "ok cool that means incest is chill sign me up!"

Jon's more into redheads anyway.

If he's going to do the incest thing, well...

# ? Jul 24, 2017 20:34

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