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MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747
Oh hey. This is a thread. Dishwashers is a job, that I do. Woo. So what even is morale in the kitchen? Is that when you drink the beer for the fish batter?

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MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747
I got laid off. Or got 2 weeks notice that I'm getting laid off. Woo, jobhunting.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747
I want to work in there. I bet everything even works properly.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Chef De Cuisinart posted:

Hi it's me ur chef, tips plz.


I'd love that if it removed serving wages and the tip share was based on productivity. And the employer had no chance in hell of being a part of that tip pool.

The pub/restaurant I was last working for actually did, no bullshit, give the chef tips. Rest of the back of house got less in tips too. He also got $400 a month in free beer, made 60k, and worked less hours than I did during the busy season(and I was just loving kitchen help).

Coincidentally, as soon as a new restaurant opened on this tiny island, all the back of house staff migrated to the new place, and now the pub owner(who's the reason that chef got extra special treatment) is having to hire staff from the Philippines, in the dead season of an island who's economy is 90% tourism, where people are hurting for money, because the reputation of the pub is so loving poisonous among people who've worked there.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Wroughtirony posted:

Lest anyone is confused, $7.25/hr is nowhere near a living wage anywhere in the US, and that would be the wage at which employers could begin to take tips away to "redistribute" them.

Yes, the American system is broken as gently caress, but a good first step to fixing it is not reducing the take-home pay of tipped living wage earners to poverty wages.

That's not a bad way to fix it if the end goal looks like this:

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Samizdata posted:

Mmmmmm, rare, tender, never had to work hard rich person.

Probably nicely marbled too. Good food, plenty of exercise, all those things poor people can't really afford, probably makes for some damned good eating.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Matlack Radio posted:

I am into posh cannibalism. I only eat the liver and brain.

Calling shotgun on heart. If it's anything like deer, then sliced thinly, dipped in flour, and then fried in butter will be magical.

Samizdata posted:

Nah. You don't want them to exercise too much. You DO want them massaged a lot. That's part of the secret behind Kobe. (Well that and I swear the cows are lucky if they walk 2 miles their whole lives.)

Okay, so less health nut, and more pampered asshat.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747
The pub where I was washing dishes last year apparently hasn't had a dishwasher last a week since I got laid off. I'm applying for my old job again, and if the 'chef' doesn't loving want to hire me I'm just going to talk to the owner, and then probably laugh my way onto the schedule. Talking to the cooks and FoH people made it real clear they want me back.

Time to be the guy keeping that loving madhouse together again. Hopefully. The at-cost drinks made me a happy man after work every day.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747
... the gently caress even?

Canuck-Errant posted:

The Restaurant Industry Thread: chronicling one man's approximately twenty people's slide info near-functional alcoholism

Oh buddy, if you think it's gonna be near-functional you're either kidding yourself, or hopelessly naive and optimistic.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747
I'm back in another kitchen. At least my boss isn't insane this time?

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747
loving hell. Rest in peace Anthony Bourdain, we all loved you(aside from one dude upthread).

I imagine my kitchen ain't gonna be a happy place today. Bourdain was pretty loved and respected, my current chef got started after meeting him.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Coasterphreak posted:

The best way I've found to avoid FOH/BOH drama is to crosstrain everyone a little bit, that way everybody knows what the other side of the window is dealing with.

We did this some today, with one of the servers making some staff meals. She managed to light the bacon for a burger on fire, and was legit scared of the flames from igniting fat from the burgers coming off the grill. We also threw one of the cooks in the dish pit while I was doing deserts, which was loving hilarious for me.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Chef De Cuisinart posted:

Call it dish or porter station. Nobody wants to work in a pit.

Eh, pit makes sense. Nobody wants to work in the pit unless they're a loving nut like me. It's dirty, surprisingly hard work, and legitimately reminds me of working in mining pits. Plus I'm not a porter and my station is less just doing dish, and more doing whatever is needed at the time.

The Maestro posted:

Actually it sounds badass to “work the pit”

Also this. Plus if someone's needs to chill and do something where no thought is required, telling them to get in the pit for a while seems to help, if only because they want the gently caress out.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747
Okay, seriously, I don't give a gently caress if you do drugs. Just keep that poo poo on your own time, and stay functional at work.

So when my Chef showed up 5 hours late yesterday, with loving cocaine still on his nose, with the dishwasher (me), one of the servers, and the GM doing the loving breakfast rush at a hotel, you can imagine I was slightly displeased. And then he spent the rest of my shift going out every 15 minutes and returning sniffling, cause that's real loving sneaky. With the dishwasher and server making, plating, and serving every order that came through.

What in the gently caress would possess someone to think that the goddamned dishwasher is the person to have alone on the line instead of the chef and the loving cook who was on schedule(who's only on because the chef hasn't changed the schedule in two weeks, and the guy only showed up for his first two shifts and then disappeared).

This loving industry.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Chef De Cuisinart posted:

Who does that much coke and isn't immediately good at working the line?

I have no goddamned idea. You'd think that he'd jump right on it, but instead he'd start something, and then go bugger off for more coke and leave me to finish it along with doing any other orders.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747
He's trash because he's not helping out while other people are slammed in the first place, but you don't loving ask people for food in the middle of a rush anyways.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Field Mousepad posted:

It's the most white person meal ever, I loving hate it.

Waiting on a 6 top of rich kids who have never done a hard days work in their lives bitching about how their eggs aren't cooked exactly how they wanted. gently caress you.

Blue collar doesn't do brunch. Have you ever heard another industry worker talking about a brunch place? I sure as gently caress haven't. Never did in the oilfield, not in the machining industry, and not in retail. But my wife, who's an office worker? People talk about brunch. People have brunch. White collar motherfuckers have brunch.

Three days ago, someone at the hotel complained about us not doing brunch. Two days ago, same guy was yelling at the servers over not getting his food fast enough after a) slowly eating his appy for an hour, b) waiting until all the indoor seating was filled and the kitchen was nuts before the servers told us gently caress it, fire the mains, c) got pissy because he was in a hurry (cause really, the best place to go for fast food is a nice sit down restaurant) and then d) left without paying after getting all his poo poo in to-go boxes. Staff got free beers from other customers after dickwad did his yelling and screaming, which was nice. Last night, I got great news. Turns out that guy had been staying at the hotel. He was removed from the hotel without refund, and the owners have apparently given him a choice of paying in full for everything he and his wife had ordered, or be charged with theft.

TL:DR gently caress 'brunch' people

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Skwirl posted:

How is that a law? what's the legal definition of "looking 35"?

I'm sorry, were you under the impression that Canadian law was sensible? We're a loving country where you can walk around with a greatsword and be just fine, but gods help you if you get caught with a taser or a blowgun or shuriken in your house.

As a bonus, in BC, they have to look over 40 to be able to sell them alcohol without carding.

edit: hell, you want purestrain Canadian law retardation? Our firearms law. I'm a licensed owner. I can't buy a pistol in .32 caliber, but a rifle that happens to be the exact same gun but with a stock is fine. Can't own a pistol with a barrel under 4.25 inches, but I can literally own all the loving artillery pieces I want. An AR-15 is Restricted, and can only be fired at a range, but I can buy a tank with no issues and then go fuckin' deer hunting with it (just gotta pay $90 to register an armoured vehicle for 5 years, $45 for every 5 years after that), or a semi-auto clone of the german MG34, with all the belts I want. An airgun with a muzzle velocity of over 500fps is a firearm and requires a license to buy, but literally anyone can buy a muzzle loading cannon without a license, or even an M203 grenade launcher(muzzle velocity of 250 feet per second? Not legally a gun, no license needed).

edit2: edit harder
Let's go even more purestrain retardation. Legally, if I were to go out and buy my tank, which I can, with a nonrestricted firearms license, pay the $90 to register an armoured vehicle, the only thing that would stop me with loading that sucker up with high explosive rounds and detonating some moose while out hunting with my easy as gently caress to get hunting license is.... Entirely separate, non-gun laws put in place by Ministry of the Environment, created to prevent forest fires. Because in Canada, rounds over 14mm diameter (IIRC, can't remember exact number) with explosive or incendiary are specifically 100% fine by firearms law, but are controlled by environmental law.

MohawkSatan fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Jul 3, 2018

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Naelyan posted:

To be fair, our gun laws are SUPPOSED to boil down to "is it large enough that it can't be concealed/would be unwieldy to use to murder a bunch of people, and can you possibly in some way use it to hunt? Cool, you good bro", and for the most part they do with some lapses where either the laws haven't kept up with new things on the market or were missed because politicians don't know enough about foreign gun markets to be specific enough sometimes (which for sure, is a problem). Sure, you can buy a grenade launcher or a tank with no license, but the explosive rounds to use with them are generally restricted pretty well, and also it's pretty hard to sneak a grenade launcher into an auditorium. You could blow some poo poo up from the outside with your "legal" tank, but realistically you'd have more luck with a U-Haul filled with fertilizer, so what's the point.

As someone who grew up in Saskatchewan farmland surrounded by a ton of hillbilly hunters and reservation land, and has now spent the last decade living in southern Ontario, I honestly don't have much to take issue with our gun laws from either side.

(As to the poo poo that's going on south of the border, you all have my sympathy, poo poo is hosed up.)

Oh Yeah, don't get me wrong, the basics of our laws are fine. It's the specifics that get retarded and full of traps. And the US has way more problems than just the gun laws. Enforcement and such as huge. Anyways, want to talk more about this, pop intoTFR. We've got some pretty damned knowlegable folks in there

Edit: my kitchen is currently me, the new dishwasher I'm training as I take over more of the line and prep duties, a cook on his second day who has not the barest hint of competence, and a fuckwad who is not on shift, but still in the kitchen eating all my loving stock, getting in the way, and distracting the new cook. This is gonna be a long loving day.

MohawkSatan fucked around with this message at 18:08 on Jul 4, 2018

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Naelyan posted:

Tell management to get him the gently caress out of there. If management is for some reason ok with it, they'll probably also be ok with you threatening a stabbing, to get him the gently caress out of there. gently caress that noise.

Told my chef, managed to get fuckwad out of the kitchen for about two hours. Then he loving showed back up and I goddamned left because it was dead, I only had an hour left, and I wasn't dealing with that poo poo again.

Coasterphreak posted:

Who the gently caress wants to be at work when they're not getting paid?

Immigrant worker from somewhere in the Indian Ocean, staying at the hotel, supposed to get three meals a day. Sadly, he's a) a poo poo worker b) too loving thick to understand he's not allowed in the goddamned kitchen when he's off shift, c) eats way way way more than three loving meals, and d) is an utter fuckwit in general. Our other immigrant dude, straight from Morocco, is fuckin' great after actually being shown how to do poo poo and throwing fuckwad out of the goddamned kitchen. Works hard, only needs to be shown things once, makes a killer pot of tea. As long as fuckwit isn't in the kitchen, he's good.

Field Mousepad posted:

Yeah that dude would be getting an accidental touch with a hot sautee pan from me.

Yeaaaaaah, he may have dropped a hot pan into my dishpit without saying anything as I was training the new morning dishwasher/prep guy (who of course got burned), and it may have been returned to him after I cooled only the handle off. I don't feel bad about this at all.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747
Sorry kids, but if you're handing me hot pans on a regular basis without saying a word in the middle of a rush, after being told to repeatedly, I've got no problem handing them back. If words ain't something that'll teach you, maybe experiencing why we expect you to at least say 'hot pan' when you ditch something will.

MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

pile of brown posted:

Sorry kid, but you're a sack of poo poo.

First of all if it's not ok for him to drop a hot pan in a metal sink, why the gently caress would it be ok for you to hand it to a person? Obviously your pain trick DOESNT loving WORK or you wouldn't be handing people hot pans after you've gotten burned by one.

Second of all you're allegedly a supervisor in a work environment, and your authority over anyone who works for you stops right at their employment with your company and definitely doesn't extend to you burning their flesh or other bullshit corporal punishment, no matter how much of an immigrant they are. Who the gently caress do you think you are and why do you think you have authority over other people's bodies?

Third of all if you can't tell a hot pan in a wet sink is hot, AND you don't spray into your sink to check on loads of cooking pans fresh from the hotline, AND you don't use side towels to move potentially hot things, you're the one who deserves a burn for being a dumbfuck who doesn't know how to work in a dishpit.

Kid.

I'm the last person to deny being a fuckin' rear end in a top hat, that it was a dick move and badly thought out, but you want to point out where I mentioned being a supervisor? Or where I give a gently caress about the dude being an immigrant? Or where I said the dude threw the pan that did the burning, or if it was wet?

Hell, the only reason I was so loving pissed was because my new guy, who's supposed to be taking over mornings so I don't end up pulling doubles every few days, got burned to gently caress. Good kid, first job ever, and his hand got loving bad burns. Most of the palm blistered poo poo.

As for why we haven't just fired the guy, because the owners won't let us. They paid for his flights, his visa, whole nine yards. For some reason our chef doesn't have the authority to, and the hotel GM doesn't either.

I totally deserve the kid comments. That was assholish of me to you lot for no good reason, my apologies.

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MohawkSatan
Dec 20, 2008

by Cyrano4747

pile of brown posted:

Why would I know he was an immigrant if you hadn't included it, talked about it, and then in your apology referenced it again?

Only mentioned he's a new immigrant dude because someone asked why the gently caress you'd be at work if you're off shift. Hotel restaurant, hotel is giving him room+board+wages. Also mentioned how cool our other new immigrant dude is. Do I need to mention I'm only 2nd generation myself?

quote:

An active dish sink is wet even if it's not full of water.

Dude threw it on one of the racks for our machine. Heavy duty plastic rack, poo poo melts if it's hot enough, but otherwise it's damned hard to notice.

marshalljim posted:

So weird how the guy who went on a completely unprovoked, 800-word rant about MUH GUN RIGHTS in the restaurant industry thread would follow it up with with arguments about how he's perfectly entitled to inflict third degree burns on any immigrants who have the gall to work in HIS kitchen.

Imagine that.

People were talking about stupid Canadian law. Firearms law in Canada is an area I know well, and is goofy as gently caress and dumb on a regular basis, even if the basics are solid as gently caress and agreeable. Also you seem to have missed the part where I said it was a dumb and lovely thing for me to do.

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