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twoday



C-SPAM Times best-selling author
What do you know about those beautiful sailors in their ships with painted sails?

Did you know that they were one of the most important civilizations in the Mediterranean?



That they grew fabulously wealthy by establishing a vast trade network that connected all corners of the known world?



Did you know that the invented the alphabet? Yes, this very alphabet that you use every day:



And all other alphabets are descended from it, even the one for Sanskrit, and the Hebrew one, and all the others.

Did you know they were the first who figured out how to navigate using the stars?



Or that the ancient Greek explorer Pytheus sailed beyond the pillars of Hercules, and circumnavigated Britain, and went on to Iceland in a Phoenician Trireme in 325 BC?



quote:

"One day's sail from Thule is the frozen ocean, called by some the Cronian Sea."

The mare concretum appears to match Strabo's pepēguia thalatta and is probably the same as the topoi ("places") mentioned in Strabo's apparent description of spring drift ice, which would have stopped his voyage further north and was for him the ultimate limit of the world. Strabo says:

Pytheas also speaks of the waters around Thule and of those places where land properly speaking no longer exists, nor sea nor air, but a mixture of these things, like a "marine lung", in which it is said that earth and water and all things are in suspension as if this something was a link between all these elements, on which one can neither walk nor sail.

Did you know that they invented the trireme?



Or that their trade network was what supplied the Mediterranean with tin, which is a key component of bronze, and helped enable all the other glorious civilizations of the Bronze Age?



That they circumnavigated Africa in 600 BC, almost 2000 years before the Portuguese?



And that this legend was recently verified in 2008 when a replica Phoenician ship did the same?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3H1UwnLDfg

That they founded Carthage, one of the most elaborate and glorious cities in the ancient world?





Or that they funded the building of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem?



quote:

Then Hiram sent Solomon the following message: "I have received your message and I am ready to do what you ask. I will provide the cedars and the pine trees. My men will bring the logs down from Lebanon to the sea, and will tie them together in rafts to float them down the coast to the place you choose. There my men will untie them and your men will take charge of them. On your part, I would like you to supply the food for my men." (1 Kings 5:8-10).

In the mountains of Lebanon we will cut down all the cedars you need, bind them together in rafts, and float them by sea as far as Joppa. From there you can take them to Jerusalem. (2 Chronicles 2:16)

Solomon’s temple follows the traditional Phoenician design: an outer hallway or ulam, a central open courtyard or heikal, and an inner holy of holies or debir. There were two pillars outside the front entrance and rooms for temple staff in an annex.



Some even speculate that they discovered America centuries before Columbus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gAmfT3zQn8

Tell me what else you know of those ingenious heroes who traveled far and wide! Tell me of the many splendid cities they did visit and the glorious treasure which passed through their hands!

twoday fucked around with this message at 01:00 on Jul 20, 2017

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DOPE FIEND KILLA G

did they smoke weed?

twoday



C-SPAM Times best-selling author
HELL YEAH







quote:

The Marsala Ship is the earliest warship known from archeological evidence. It is a wreck discovered in 1969 in an area called Punta Scario in the harbor of Marsala in western Sicily, Italy, near the Aegadian Islands. The Marsala Ship's "nationality" was painted on the sides with letters by its Punic builders from Carthage.

...

The Marsala Ship had only small cups and bowls for individual servings. Its wine, water, and other liquids were carried in amphorae of miscellaneous shapes. Food remains were fresh and perishable, such as various kinds of butchered meat. Bones of deer, horses, oxen, sheep, goats and pigs were all found. All this indicated it was intended as a warship and not as a merchant cargo vessel. The presence of ballast stones and lack of merchant cargo definitely indicate that it was a warship, probably used for scouting purposes or for ramming smaller boats. The remains of marijuana stems — which may have been chewed by the oarsmen — were also found in the wreck.

quote:

That the Punic sailors drank wine on board came as no surprise, and the presence of amphorae with the resinous lining associated with wine-carrying proves it. But the totally, unexpected discovery of a bundle of cannabis sticks indicates the sailors indulged in a mild form of marijuana tea as well.

twoday fucked around with this message at 23:57 on Jul 19, 2017

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained within this post are for informational purposes only. No material in this post is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this post or the replies to this post.

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!

twoday posted:

this whole thread

:five:

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

Gone Fashing

KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN
cool thread

twoday



C-SPAM Times best-selling author

DOPE FIEND KILLA G posted:

did they smoke weed?

They even found evidence of cocaine and nicotine in a bunch of ancient Egyptian mummies from the time when the Phoenicians were trading with Egypt.

Pro-click (if you feel like watching a 40 minute documentary):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCI33iH-Zfg

So they think that maybe the nicotine came from a-now extinct plant in Africa similar to tobacco, and it was present in 1000 out of 3000 mummies tested.

No explanation for the coke, though one can imagine that the original plans for the pyramids were devised by someone who not only had god-like power, but was also completely high out of their mind on some ego-inflating substance.

twoday fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Jul 20, 2017

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained within this post are for informational purposes only. No material in this post is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this post or the replies to this post.

Darkman Fanpage
gently caress ROME

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

hot drat, someone get me onto one of these Phoenician party boats cuz dat poo poo starting to sound straight up LITTY

twoday



C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Darkman Fanpage posted:

gently caress ROME

Oh yeah, they also invaded loving Rome with god drat elephants that they brought across the loving Alps.





quote:

Not only did the elephants' appearance, their smell, and the noise of their trumpeting alarm both men and horses opposed to them, but they were highly dangerous when charged, fighting with their tusks and their trunks and trampling down their opponents.



And they weren't only local African elephants, they were sourcing elephants from all corners of the earth:

quote:

Only one of the elephants survived the war, it seems. This was the elephant Hannibal himself had often ridden. Its name, according to the story, was Surus, meaning ''the Syrian.'' Because the Ptolemies of Egypt, successors to Alexander, were known to have seized some Indian elephants as booty in their campaigns in Syria, it seemed likely that some descendants of those elephants had found their way to Carthage. Egypt and Carthage enjoyed good relations in those days. Mr. De Beer, citing the story of Surus, concluded, ''It is therefore almost certain that Hannibal's elephants included at least one Indian.''

twoday fucked around with this message at 01:27 on Jul 20, 2017

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cda

by Hand Knit
What do we have iks for if not to sticky threads like this

poisonpill

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.


The Romans had a whole historical reason that Carthage and Rome didn't get along (and it totally wasn't fighting over dominance of the Mediterranean!). It was that the founder of Rome was just cruising around the sea and banged the Queen of Carthage (the Phoenicians) and then the gods were like "time to move on and found a city" so he just like woke up the next morning, grabbed his phone and wallet all sly, and snuck out on the first boat out of town. She was so distraught she burned herself to death and when Aeneas was looking back he was like "Wow, nice BBQ, too bad I'm missing it." Anyway the Romans destroyed these people who were basically policing the seas and then were shocked when pirates sprang up everywhere.

spankmeister






this all seems too reasonable we need some crazy conspiracy theories about this ancient civilization

twoday



C-SPAM Times best-selling author
No worries, friend:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIn6USamFEk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JOdz0OlV6o

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained within this post are for informational purposes only. No material in this post is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this post or the replies to this post.

twoday



C-SPAM Times best-selling author
No worries, friend:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIn6USamFEk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JOdz0OlV6o
[/quote]

poisonpill posted:

The Romans had a whole historical reason that Carthage and Rome didn't get along (and it totally wasn't fighting over dominance of the Mediterranean!). It was that the founder of Rome was just cruising around the sea and banged the Queen of Carthage (the Phoenicians) and then the gods were like "time to move on and found a city" so he just like woke up the next morning, grabbed his phone and wallet all sly, and snuck out on the first boat out of town. She was so distraught she burned herself to death and when Aeneas was looking back he was like "Wow, nice BBQ, too bad I'm missing it." Anyway the Romans destroyed these people who were basically policing the seas and then were shocked when pirates sprang up everywhere.

Not bad

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained within this post are for informational purposes only. No material in this post is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this post or the replies to this post.

twoday



C-SPAM Times best-selling author
wtf

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained within this post are for informational purposes only. No material in this post is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this post or the replies to this post.

Mariana Horchata

grt pst, vry fscntng

Nosfereefer

IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM
if they were so smart why didnt they invent video games or anime??

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

FactsAreUseless

Nosfereefer posted:

if they were so smart why didnt they invent video games or anime??
They invented both, then hid them until the world was ready.

FactsAreUseless

[in stereotype voice] Bye Phoenicia!

City of Glompton

amazing thread


thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

cda

by Hand Knit

FactsAreUseless posted:

[in stereotype voice] Bye Phoenicia!

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


FactsAreUseless posted:

[in stereotype voice] Bye Phoenicia!


AverySpecialfriend

by Hand Knit

Mariana Horchata posted:

grt pst, vry fscntng

----------------
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spankmeister








Not bad
[/quote]

Was Colve a Phoenician? We just don't know.

poisonpill

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.


did the phoenicians invent the first computer? it might be possible, says one expert...

cda

by Hand Knit

twoday posted:


Or that they funded the building of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem?



That's interesting. That was a famously expensive building. Solomon had to levy taxes specifically to build it as a representation of his consolidating power in southern Israel. It was so contentious that when Solomon died, a delegation from the northern tribes went to his son Rehoboam to see if Rehoboam would lower the taxes (and, implicitly, return more autonomy to the north). Rehoboam's response is one of my favorite quotes in the Bible:

"My father hath chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions." (Cue metal) In other words, gently caress off, I'm going to raise the taxes even more. This eventually led to 30 year civil war by proxy (the north allied with the king of Egypt who attacked the south).

Anyway, I wonder to what extent the involvement of the Phoenicians was also a frustration for the northerners (who were led by a builder named Jeroboam. Maybe he didn't like the competition).

----------------
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mags

I am a congenital optimist.
minoan hipster looking at phoenician alphabet: "pffft, nice abjad, loser". :rolleyes:

paul_soccer12 posted:

everyone in the idf must die

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alnilam

i remember getting the impression that the phoenicians were basically chill trader ppl who didn't mess with expansionism or war but just traded with anyone who wanted to

is that true

e: i guess i more specifically mean thru most of their history pre the beef w rome

alnilam fucked around with this message at 21:09 on Jul 20, 2017

alnilam

poisonpill posted:

The Romans had a whole historical reason that Carthage and Rome didn't get along (and it totally wasn't fighting over dominance of the Mediterranean!). It was that the founder of Rome was just cruising around the sea and banged the Queen of Carthage (the Phoenicians) and then the gods were like "time to move on and found a city" so he just like woke up the next morning, grabbed his phone and wallet all sly, and snuck out on the first boat out of town. She was so distraught she burned herself to death and when Aeneas was looking back he was like "Wow, nice BBQ, too bad I'm missing it." Anyway the Romans destroyed these people who were basically policing the seas and then were shocked when pirates sprang up everywhere.

ah thus is the lonely life of a settler unit in Civ

twoday



C-SPAM Times best-selling author
Yeah they were pretty chill. So they would trade with people, mostly for natural resources.

However, sometimes when there was a place with natural resources, but no people there, they would force-migrate entire popoulations of people there. This is one of the theories of how the Guanches who are genetically related to Libyan berbers, ended up in the Canary Islands despite having no knowledge of seafaring.

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained within this post are for informational purposes only. No material in this post is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this post or the replies to this post.

alnilam

twoday posted:

Yeah they were pretty chill. So they would trade with people, mostly for natural resources.

However, sometimes when there was a place with natural resources, but no people there, they would force-migrate entire popoulations of people there. This is one of the theories of how the Guanches who are genetically related to Libyan berbers, ended up in the Canary Islands despite having no knowledge of seafaring.

lol

Pohoenician: "Hey you, live over there, so we can trade with you! It's rich in minerals so it'll be good there."

Other guy: "Uhh why don't you just set up camp there and extract the resources yourself?"

P: "w....wha? huh?? :confused:"

alnilam

Montage of the other guy trying to teach the phoenician how to mine ore, and the phoenician keeps getting confused and trying to trade the pickaxe he's holding for things

alnilam

Phoenicjan finally swings the axe and some ore comes out, he looks at the other guy and says "ooh ooh I'll trade you this axe for that ore!!!"

Other guy is all :doh:

twoday



C-SPAM Times best-selling author

alnilam posted:

lol

Pohoenician: "Hey you, live over there, so we can trade with you! It's rich in minerals so it'll be good there."

Other guy: "Uhh why don't you just set up camp there and extract the resources yourself?"

P: "w....wha? huh?? :confused:"

More like:

Phoenician: "well, welcome to this island. I like this island, it's got lots of crazy trees and rocks and stuff, and I'm sure you'll learn to like it too. Here's some sheep and goats and a bag of grain to get you started. Now I know that farming is gonna be a bitch, because the island is littered with layer upon layer of rocks deposited by countless volcanic eruptions and you're gonna have to clear that away before you can even reach any arable soil. I'm gonna go now, but some other dudes might come back here with a ship in a year or two. Well, good luck!" *awkward handshake*

*Berber stares defeatedly at departing Phoenician ship*

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The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained within this post are for informational purposes only. No material in this post is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this post or the replies to this post.

alnilam

just lolling agt the idea that they loved trading so much that when they ran out of new cultures to trade with they just made more

cda

by Hand Knit

twoday posted:

More like:

Phoenician: "well, welcome to this island. I like this island, it's got lots of crazy trees and rocks and stuff, and I'm sure you'll learn to like it too. Here's some sheep and goats and a bag of grain to get you started. Now I know that farming is gonna be a bitch, because the island is littered with layer upon layer of rocks deposited by countless volcanic eruptions and you're gonna have to clear that away before you can even reach any arable soil. I'm gonna go now, but some other dudes might come back here with a ship in a year or two. Well, good luck!" *awkward handshake*

*Berber stares defeatedly at departing Phoenician ship*

Ah. The Art of the Deal.

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cda

by Hand Knit
Phoenican kid: Pass the salt.

Phoenician dad: What'll you give me for it?

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

alnilam

cda posted:

Phoenican kid: Pass the salt.

Phoenician dad: What'll you give me for it?

that's funny bc i believe the salt trade was a big part of their wealth

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alnilam

it's also funny for regular joke reasons

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