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Arkanomen posted:You have no first aid kit. Use our laser vision. (I am the fever-addled part of Tad's brain) (We never said we didn't have laser vision at any point in this thread. Take that GM.)
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Aug 16, 2017 16:50
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There Bias Two posted:Use our laser vision. He has a point you know. Put a metal stick in the fire, when it's red put in out leg.
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Aug 16, 2017 17:04
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*free action* You take moment to get a better look at the wound, Gekko God it stinks. Smells worse than anything you've ever smelled and you've been in some nasty places getting exotic drugs. The gash is crusted together with what looks like black tar but as you move it breaks a little as the wound running a good few inches across your leg opens as the skin shifts. More of that sick smell emits every time you move. A good half inch around the wound is dark purple radiating out and the flesh is swollen another half inch past that and the whole thing is raised. At least it isn't bleeding anymore. Where will you burn? Speaking of fire, to glance over to your only source of it and find it severely lacking. Dumping most of your firewood into the pit last night made a roaring heat but now all that is left is a small bundle of sticks and a pit of ashy coals. Still hot though and gently caress is it cold. It's really cold. You're shivering, the bear is shivering, the Gekko would be shivering but he's wearing a parka made from SEC investigator hide. He is just smiling at your pain. gently caress that rear end in a top hat, help me god of Fraud. He still smiles. You rage. First your try to melt him with your laser vision. Youve always been able to do this since You found out you were an alien baby from planet Sta'cee and contact with Earths money charges up your abilities, one of which is shooting laser beams at dudes pants or random boobs. It fails utterly despite your straining. Must be the lack of cash around. You have some with you but it's not enough, so you try to throw a rock but the pain stops it short with another gout of black fluid and stench. The Gekko laughs and turns back into a tree branch. Arkanomen fucked around with this message at 17:25 on Aug 16, 2017 |
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Aug 16, 2017 17:21
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Uhhhhh.... Cry like a baby, then die
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Aug 16, 2017 17:25
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Once gangrene sets in, the infected tissue needs to be removed. Cauterizing the wound will not do, it will maybe sterilize the surface. The leg needs to be amputated soon. Fortunately we already have a saw and strong painkillers, just something needs to be done with the resulting bleeding.
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Aug 16, 2017 18:10
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Heat the saw in the firepit. Use the saw to debride the infected flesh, then press the heated metal to cauterize the remainder.
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Aug 16, 2017 18:15
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AJ_Impy posted:Heat the saw in the firepit. Use the saw to debride the infected flesh, then press the heated metal to cauterize the remainder.  Yeah why the hell not.
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Aug 16, 2017 18:32
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The saw is a length of chainsaw blade which is great for sawing logs with broad ripping teeth. A leg is a kind of log, but how would you get around in the woods on one leg? The knife might be better for make small cuts, it's serrated too. The axe is pretty sharp as well. There are options which brings some small comfort to your pounding head.
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Aug 16, 2017 19:16
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Arkanomen posted:The saw is a length of chainsaw blade which is great for sawing logs with broad ripping teeth. A leg is a kind of log, but how would you get around in the woods on one leg? The knife might be better for make small cuts, it's serrated too. The axe is pretty sharp as well. There are options which brings some small comfort to your pounding head. Can we stitch a bear leg to our stump?
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Aug 16, 2017 20:13
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There Bias Two posted:Can we stitch a bear leg to our stump? You are free to try whatever you want, but with what you have on hand you could try to make a peg leg out if it's bones.
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Aug 16, 2017 20:31
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Arkanomen posted:The saw is a length of chainsaw blade which is great for sawing logs with broad ripping teeth. A leg is a kind of log, but how would you get around in the woods on one leg? The knife might be better for make small cuts, it's serrated too. The axe is pretty sharp as well. There are options which brings some small comfort to your pounding head. The knife. The axe has had quite enough of our flesh.
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Aug 16, 2017 20:34
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Get a fire going. Pop a buncha drugs. Saw off the bad part, cauterize with hot knife. Buy cyborg leg. Use cyborg leg to pick up chicks.
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Aug 17, 2017 13:29
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Blasphemaster posted:Get a fire going. Pop a buncha drugs. Saw off the bad part, cauterize with hot knife. Buy cyborg leg. Use cyborg leg to pick up chicks. Gotta get to a place with cyborg legs with only one leg, though. And bears. And gotta not chicken out or render Tad incapable to amputate his own limb when all he has is enough Norco to OD on and no booze.
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Aug 17, 2017 13:46
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Maybe ODing is the kindest thing we could do for the ol' Tadmiester. Not that we will, but that would be the merciful thing at this point.
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Aug 17, 2017 21:44
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Outrail posted:Maybe ODing is the kindest thing we could do for the ol' Tadmiester. Kindness? Mercy? Weak! The Gekko isn't kind or Merciful. Tad toughs this out, or he ain't seven-eighths of the man he thought he was.
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Aug 18, 2017 00:14
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AJ_Impy posted:Kindness? Mercy? Weak! Now is not the time for soul searching damnit!
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Aug 18, 2017 00:16
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lmao if you think he'll survive amputating his own leg without tourniqueting that poo poo. is Tad wearing a belt? anything not-elastic will do, p much. it just has to put enough pressure on the femoral and popliteal arteries that he won't bleed out immediately. also use the bear's femur as your peg leg for any outdoor enthusiasts in the thread: if this happens to you, tourniquet that poo poo FIRST before otherwise treating it.
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Aug 18, 2017 00:54
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Welp, looks like it's the great boardroom in the sky for our plucky protagonist unless we can get an interrupt action to tourniquet that poo poo
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Aug 18, 2017 01:06
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cat_herder posted:lmao if you think he'll survive amputating his own leg without tourniqueting that poo poo. Can you even cut off your own leg and make it out of anywhere with any decent chance of survival?
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Aug 18, 2017 05:06
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In the real world, Tad would already at the point where his chances of survival would be 50-50... IF he were already at the hospital, having his wound properly debrided/leg amputated + getting a cocktail of IV antibiotics and blood pressure meds. So, yeah, Tad's up poo poo creek. Can't wait for the next part of the game to open up after Tad slips the mortal coil and sails into the great beyond!
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Aug 18, 2017 05:25
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AbysmalPeptoBismol posted:In the real world, Tad would already at the point where his chances of survival would be 50-50... IF he were already at the hospital, having his wound properly debrided/leg amputated + getting a cocktail of IV antibiotics and blood pressure meds. Tad vs. the Underworld. It'll be grand.
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Aug 18, 2017 06:28
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Tourniquets on. Take drugs, kill the reaper.Hexenritter posted:Tad vs. the Underworld. It'll be grand. 
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Aug 18, 2017 06:47
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Outrail posted:Can you even cut off your own leg and make it out of anywhere with any decent chance of survival? Aron Ralston cut off his own forearm, but that's not a leg, so it will likely be trickier. he still has the signal mirror and the emergency whistle, though, so he just needs to wait for a plane to fly overhead and start wiggling the mirror at it. If the pilot was taking a known route somewhere, there's probably other small-plane pilots who go there, and if Tad can do it away from the pond, he has a chance of being spotted. alternatively, if there are hunters, fishermen, or basically anyone else around, he can whistle as long as he can breathe and someone may hear it and alert a search and rescue team that "hey, someone out there is whistling, we need to find them". This all depends very heavily on Tad having sense enough to do these things. I doubt he was in Scouts, and he probably went on overseas vacations as a kid instead of camping.
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Aug 18, 2017 07:22
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I've seen the 127 hours thing, and some doctor removed his own appendix in Antarctica once, but lopping off your leg seems awkward and traumatic as hell.
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Aug 18, 2017 07:23
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gently caress. gently caress these loving woods. The wound reeks and you hate it. You have pills and you have a knife. It's not the first time you had to burn a knife wound shut. That one time in Belize where you but your hand on some broken glass. That stupid guide, his name is lost but he just laughed, took your hand and cooked it with a heated spoon and lighter. No comment on why those two things were on hand. It didn't hurt through all the coke and booze but it stopped the bleeding. Healed a little funny but it could work. Cut the nasty away and burn it. Just like you were going to burn these goddam trees to ash. You had metal and hot coals. The knife is ready. The pills will take a bit to kick in and you know there cut with something that makes bleeding easy. Going to have to tie off with your belt before you burn it. It takes some work to hobble around and gather what's left of the scrap wood and toss it onto the fire. You use that fire to boil up some water, gotta wash with something. It's hard to focus as the pills and the pain fight for who gets to use your brain. A half hour passes as you poke the black wound with your knife, testing the pain. Once it sinks down to a mild and muted throbbing you run the knife in the flames and into the water. Fire and boiling water kills everything right? You grimace as you squeeze the rotten flesh, flies already beginning to circle the putrescent dripping wound. Where do you Cut? You can't cut just the dead flesh out, it's already dead and it's a spreading infection. The discoloration isn't enough, the healthy has go too. Maybe you should just cut it off below the knee. The axe could cut the bone. No, you can save this. Just like purging a company you just acquired. Don't dump it all, just fire most of the staff to make it look really healthy the next quarter then sell it off before it crashes. Big cuts, cut until it's red. You laugh, for once in your life being in the red is good. The knife sinks in. DC 60 vs Tad 54 - minor failure The laughter turns to screams. It hurts. It hurts really, really bad. The first cut goes too shallow. The cut drips black ichor and fills your vision with blinding stars. You suck in air, scrambling to keep a purchase on consciousness. Slowly the world creeps back but your hands are shaking, you feel cold and the skin below the belt is blanched white. Overconpensting on the next draw you slice deep, too deep and knife catches on bone. You pitch to your side and vomit from the agony. Whoever you were before, isn't here now. Tad the party man is gone, leaving behind a human animal. Limbs thrash and it's voice goes horse from converting pain into noise. The peculiar little pills it at barely keeping back the tidal wave of sensation. It only has finished the first cut, making the mistake to start below the cut, leaving nerves intact to feel every moment of the second. It takes some bit of animal flesh in its mouth to give safe purchase for its teeth. The sharpened tool goes back into the cleansing water and flames. The second cut goes wild and in between sobs the animal has to work the serrated edge back and forth to cleave the diseased flesh from it's body. Pain is meaningless now, just feedback into a system running on pure instinct. With a cry of triumph the lump is torn free leaving a gaping chop in a pale, now misshapen leg. Muscle is torn and contracted, but the blood flows weakly and red. Thick yellow fibers dangle uselessly and what sensation there is ends at the knee. The animal knows what to do next. The boiled water is still warm and it washes the wound, tendrils of ragged flesh dance in the flow and blood twists as it is taken by the current. The metal stick is hot and glows dimly with a small glow. Using some of the dead furs the animal that once was a man takes the stick and presses what is left of the flesh together and draws the heated metal across to clean and seal the wound. DC 50 vs Tad 82- pass The smell of cooking meat follows a new type of pain into the strange workings of your mind. You're coming back. Rational thought edging back in as you press the rod against your cloven flesh. You make sure to use some ductape to keep the two halves together and let the cooked meat let the rest heal back together. Paper is packed above the wound and string is used to tie it all together and tight. The belt is released and your handiwork is tested. DC 50 vs Tad 44- minor failure Blood blossoms across the paper and seeps out the bottom of your leg. It takes two more tries with burning and taping to get the flow to slow, your hands shaking and vision getting dark. You don't even try to bat the flies away as you lay back to breathe for a moment. You don't even notice when you pass out. Time passes. It continues to pass, meaningless in an inky black sea. Do you sleep? Are you dreaming? These questions aren't asked by anyone. Just the quiet dark.  You're sitting in the boardroom back at your dad's office. It's a quiet day, nice sun filtering though the electronic shades on the windows. Cost about two mid-level employees and a percentage in the 401k matching but it made the room so nice. Two figures sit across the table from you, portfolio in hand. They seem to be talking about you, ignoring your presence. Classic investor 101.  One the great Gekko god, his tie made of gold and his whiskey bubbling with fermented and aged souls. His partner shared the same drink, but grasped it in hands of desiccated flesh and was robed in black. You move to raise your hand and take your drink but find yourself quite immobile. At least you can talk and you ask if the sickle isn't a bit cliche. The Gekko laughs but the reaper grumbles. "Its a scythe kid, and the classics are classic for a reason." The reaper burps vulgarly and returns to examining the folder. "Gekko these returns are terrible and the costs so far tell me this kid isn't worth it. 35% is way too low." Gekko sighs. "I got some return, not as much as I'd hoped. Didn't see that bitch Fate throwing him in the woods. Couldn't even divest his leg right. Bold but bold only counts if it works." Death takes a long draw on the whiskey. "It's a slow day today, but this one is all yours. I'd just dump him in the bag with the bear and forget the whole mess ever happened but I'm just the labor here. Usual fee of course" You try to object but dimes spill out of your mouth with a wave of the Gekko's hand. "Shut it kid. Look. I was going to let you just drop you there, but you got moxie in cutting up your leg so I'm gonna cut you a break. You got two choices. Come with me and I'll get you a nice middle manager spot in accounts payable, or I can send you back?" The edges of your vision begin to fold in. Pain creeps in from your leg. You feel sick as something twists in your gut and pulls you backwards. The Gekko offers his hand ad the reaper takes large swig from a decanter. Offer is on the table Tad Arkanomen fucked around with this message at 21:18 on Aug 18, 2017 |
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Aug 18, 2017 21:15
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There is nothing left for Tad back there but agony and a slow death. Them's the breaks, kid. Go back.
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Aug 18, 2017 21:22
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Middle management? MIDDLE. loving. MANAGEMENT?! HELL NO. We are the GOD drat CEO! Although.... How much room for upward mobility are we talking here? There Bias Two fucked around with this message at 21:40 on Aug 18, 2017 |
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Aug 18, 2017 21:38
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There Bias Two posted:Middle management? The Gekko laughs, a deep and honest laugh. "Take it or leave it, kid."
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Aug 18, 2017 21:54
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Take it
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Aug 19, 2017 01:54
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When The Gekko does you a favour you accept and tell him thank you. Owing him one is implicit.
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Aug 19, 2017 03:53
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WHAT? Do actual work? gently caress. That....but...gently caress the woods, amirite? Counteroffer. I'll take the position if the company paves over that loving chunk of forest.
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Aug 19, 2017 04:22
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Take it There's nothing waiting for Tad in that forest except for septic shock and providing some possum kits an easy meal.
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Aug 19, 2017 04:41
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There Bias Two posted:
Go back.
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Aug 19, 2017 05:01
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Wait wait waitwaitwait hold up. What's the Reaper's offer?
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Aug 19, 2017 05:41
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dont be mean to me posted:Wait wait waitwaitwait hold up. "Normally I just shove you in this bag and move on to the next dead mortal, unless someone way bigger than you has something to say...or drink." he shakes a cheap black garbage bag and toasts the Gekko with another hearty swig of the screaming souls in the decanter. "*burp*... you want in the bag just say so."
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Aug 19, 2017 07:07
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I'm on to your game Rick. I'm no Morty for you to hide behind.
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Aug 19, 2017 07:48
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Yeah this is obviously a test. Would the Gecko really support a guy who's willing to settle for a middle manager position? Go back
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Aug 19, 2017 08:05
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Does middle management come with an unlimited supply of high quality cocaine? If not then Go Back. A job ain't worth taking if the benefits aren't suited to you. 
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Aug 19, 2017 09:10
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Go back holding aloft a bundle of cash and shouting "By the power of capital, I have the power!"
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Aug 19, 2017 16:24
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owl milk posted:Yeah this is obviously a test. Would the Gecko really support a guy who's willing to settle for a middle manager position?
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Aug 19, 2017 19:00
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