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Earthquake ruled. That was a 500 pound man who could throw a dropkick. I'll not hear him lumped in with people who were actually bad 
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Nov 19, 2017 20:25
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Right now my annoyance with Earthquake has nothing to do with Earthquake specifically. It's about the archetype of wrestler that he represents which I am so, so done with.
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Nov 19, 2017 20:40
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Rarity posted:Right now my annoyance with Earthquake has nothing to do with Earthquake specifically. It's about the archetype of wrestler that he represents which I am so, so done with. "Legitimate athletes have no place in wrestling" - Rarity
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Nov 19, 2017 20:42
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Stop fatshaming, Rarity.
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Nov 19, 2017 20:44
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Also I will say that Savage went all-in on the whole King title more than anyone else. He wasn't like, Haku who randomly had a crown now, he was Randy Savage now convinced he was the psychotic king of the universe. It worked for him
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Nov 19, 2017 21:18
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Rarity, if you get the chance, check out Velveteen Dream from last night's NXT Takeover for a special surprise edition of What Dat Butt.
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Nov 19, 2017 21:20
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delfin posted:Rarity, if you get the chance, check out Velveteen Dream from last night's NXT Takeover for a special surprise edition of What Dat Butt. I loving loved Velveteen Dream's tribute act to Rick Rude last night
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Nov 19, 2017 22:48
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Earthquake is a familiar archetype, but unlike say One Man Gang and King Kong Bundy: --He was a genuine athlete (a legit Sumo champion) --Gave a poo poo about workrate and could really go 15-20 minutes without slowing down --Was booked well for most of his run, rather than just being fodder for the top faces
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Nov 19, 2017 23:07
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And the best character in WWF Wrestlefest in arcades
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Nov 20, 2017 00:20
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Yeah, Earthquake was one of my all-time favorites from that era, so I'm hoping Rarity turns around on her opinion.
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Nov 20, 2017 03:58
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Earthquake was great, I'm pretty sure I've seen him throw dropkicks and do poo poo off the top rope He was less of a hoss in the One Man Gang style and more like Bam Bam Bigelow
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Nov 20, 2017 04:51
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Jason Sextro posted:Earthquake was great, I'm pretty sure I've seen him throw dropkicks and do poo poo off the top rope Well he wasn't as flashy as a young Bam Bam was, but Quake was an incredibly solid big man who played the monster against Hogan and the like. He's not going to win any track meets or dazzle you with athletics, but Quake isn't going to halfass anything and will take his bumps. If Rarity's beef is with the bad workers the WWF had in spades, Quake doesn't belong in that list.
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Nov 20, 2017 05:11
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DeathChicken posted:Also I will say that Savage went all-in on the whole King title more than anyone else. He wasn't like, Haku who randomly had a crown now, he was Randy Savage now convinced he was the psychotic king of the universe. It worked for him Kind of like King Booker who went completely deranged for his run as King of the Ring and it absolutely ruled.
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Nov 20, 2017 05:20
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One major problem with current WWE is that there aren't enough fat wrestlers.
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Nov 20, 2017 15:25
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Feels Villeneuve posted:One major problem with current WWE is that there aren't enough fat wrestlers. Call up Chris Hero that’ll solve everything.
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Nov 20, 2017 15:28
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Jerusalem posted:Kind of like King Booker who went completely deranged for his run as King of the Ring and it absolutely ruled. My favorite part was when he was trying to make everyone's names more classy and called Jerry Lawler "Jerome".
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Nov 20, 2017 19:23
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In the back Zombie Mean Gene is feeling lonely in his afterlife and looking for a friend with whom he can share his lust for brains. Hearing about the beatdown inflicted on Dusty, a man never known to pass up a good meal, he heads over to the medical room in the hopes the American Dream will have perished. Unfortunately it turns out Dusty only has bruised ribs and a concussion. Zombie Mean Gene must continue his solitary existence. Before we can get the next match underway we have to go back to the ring to suffer through another poem from the Genius. It's just as bad as the last one. He says that he epitomises Survivor Series. What, you're also a long boring slog with a disappointing ending? Well said, Genius. He claims to have beauty, youth and wisdom so we should all give thanks that he's the World's Smartest Man.  MY WORK ON ELECTRONS BEEN PUBLISHED IN THREE ACADEMIC JOURNALS! Ted DiBiase, Zeus and the Powers of Pain w/ Mr. Fuji and Virgil vs. Hulk Hogan, Jake “The Snake” Roberts and Demolition Wait, what's this I see? Hulk is wrestling halfway down the card? What madness is this of which you speak? Someone's getting the riot act in the booking team for sure. But nonetheless Hulk is indeed leading his team out to finish the end of act one. The faces are all popular enough to get individual entrances in I'm afraid I have to announce that normal service has already resumed because Demolition are once again the Tag Team champions. Ugh. One year on the tag division is in exactly the place it was last Survivor Series. SIGN OF THE NIGHT  The main event of Starrcade 1989: Sting vs. Ric Flair. So they're not wrong. Jake decides this is the perfect time to get Damien out for a showing so he frees his snake buddy and the heels scramble to the outside. The ref makes Jake put Damien away again meaning that this whole endeavour accomplished nothing. I've noticed this is a theme with Damien these days. With things calmed down Zeus steps up for the heels and he wants to face off with Hulk to kick things off. Jake's happy enough to facilitate so he tags out to Hulk. Ok, I talked recently about Hulk never crowd chants but in fairness there are loud choruses of “Hogan!” here. Hulk rushes in with a knee, colliding into Zeus and bouncing off like he's Wile E. Coyote hitting a brick wall. They run through a few sequences and if you want a description of the action then go read my writeup for their Summerslam match because it is exactly the same here. Zeus chokes Hulk out and the ref tries to drag him off but it's not going to happen and oh look you guys, it's our favourite match finish! The one where the guy gets DQd for being too aggressive and missing the five count! If they were looking for a way to build my interest in Zeus, this wasn't it. Despite being eliminated Zeus keeps up the assault on Hulk to the point where the rest of the heels are the ones to force him away. I suppose they want their own opportunity to kick Hulk's rear end. WORST HAIR  What happened, did you fall asleep in a puddle of hair dye? As soon as Jake gets into the ring he goes after DiBiase. It looks like these two are having issues based on DiBiase's claims at Summerslam. Demolition hammer away on DiBiase with their axe handle beatdown and so Hulk comes in to join them in a triple axe handle beatdown. It's so lame but I also kinda appreciate it. Their moveset may be a disaster but at least Demolition are trying to innovate with what they've got. Barbarian hits a shoulderbreak on Ax but he whiffs a second rope elbow drop. Ax runs into the ropes and gets tripped by Fuji. Warlord follows up with an elbow drop – not off the turnbuckle or anything, just your standard elbow drop – and Ax is gone. That made him look like a huge goober. Despite the godawful Andre feud and the extended sabbatical Jake is still as over as ever. There's instant “DDT” chants when he tags in. Smash catches Barbarian's kick out of the air and trips him over then drops an elbow but Barbarian rolls out of the way. I think that's the closest I've ever seen Demolition get to workrate. It's like watching a baby get food in its mouth without assistance. It's not an achievement but you're still a little bit proud. DiBiase brawls with Smash until Smash connects with a necksnap but Barbarian's made a blind tag and Smash turns right into a flying clothesline. That's enough to send him to join his buddy in the back. We're down to three vs. two as Jake goes for the DDT on Barbarian but it gets reversed into a back body drop. The heels take on a prolonged period of control capped by a piledriver from DiBiase. Barbarian goes up top but he whiffs the Diving Headbutt and takes a direct hit from the mat to the face. Ow!  How did we ever think that this was a sensible move? With Barbarian down, Jake crawls over to his corner and makes the hot tag to Hulk. He comes in on a tear and cleans house, culminating in a double clothesline to the Powers. However, the Powers stay in the ring and take control of Hulk. The Powers nail Hulk with a nasty spike piledriver and... they both get DQd for excessive double teaming. Um, Ted? I feel like you've made some poor choices in your team line-up tonight. Maybe next time find some guys who understand the rules enough to not get thrown out of the match. Now that his team of stupid idiots is officially depleted DiBiase is left to take on Hulk and Jake. He locks on the Million Dollar Dream to Hulk but Jake rushes in to save it before Hulk's arm drops a third time. DiBiase goes back to the well a second time but Hulk backs him into the corner to make some separation. Jake tags in with the crowd going totally loving nuts. He hits DiBiase with a back body drop and a necksnap and...  THE RAINMAAAAAAAKERRRRRR Man, it's been way too long since I got to use that gif. Jake calls for the DDT but Virgil climbs up on the apron and starts acting like a right tit so Jake hits the DDT on Virgil. However, this gives DiBiase enough time to recover and he immediately throws himself on top of Jake and gets his feet on the ropes to knock Jake out. That was a neat little sequence. Sometimes the simplest booking is the most effective. We're down to the last man on each team as Hulk and DiBiase square off and it's so obvious that these guys are now gassed as hell. This match has been going close to half an hour now and there's no way Hulk should ever be allowed in a match that long. They stagger around for a little while, waving their arms with whatever remaining energy they can muster and then clash in a double clothesline that leaves both men down. DiBiase recovers first and nails a back suplex but Hulk jumps right up with a no-sell and we know where things are going from here. Say it with me: big boot, Leg Drop, one two three. Hulk spends the next five minutes celebrating and posing for the fans. At this point I reckon these post match worship sessions are written into Hulk's contract. This was a very, very small step in the right direction. Don't get me wrong, it was still terrible and the wrestling on display was an eyesore but at least a little more thought went into the booking. It's still an awful match and a giant waste of my time but it's the kind of suffering where everything makes sense and at least you know why you're in pain. And that's something. Interview time now with Mooney in the back where Zeus has joined back up with Sherri and the Macho King. Oh boy, I'm never going to enjoy typing that out. Savage and Zeus will be taking on Hulk and Burtus at an upcoming show and Mooney asks Savage if he's worried about not being able to control Zeus. However, Savage is happy that Zeus is uncontrollable and knights him with the royal sceptre. Sherri spends the whole time silently pulling faces in the background.  Guys, I think we finally found a good use for her Meanwhile, Zombie Mean Gene has decided to cover his sorrow with the company of Hulk and Burtus. He asks Burtus a question about this upcoming match and Hulk jumps in to say they're there to end Savage and Zeus. Whoa buddy, he was talking to Burtus, not you. Rude much? Add this moment to the pile of evidence that Hulk is a rampant rear end in a top hat. Hulk's feeling a tad concerned so he tells Burtus to keep the clippers close by. But wait, what's this? A wild Sherri appears! Sherri uses Stun Spore. It's super effective! With Hulk and Burtus out of action, Savage and Zeus run in and beat on them until the locker room pulls them all apart with Sherri screaming all the while. All that backstage drama means that we're all going to need to take a few minutes to contemplate how excited we are to see these four men go at it and to tell mummy and daddy to get us tickets.  BUY OUR poo poo! BUY OUR poo poo!
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Nov 21, 2017 19:01
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I feel okay posting this promo hyping the next match between these four since it isn't going to appear on any PPVs, yet it should *really* be seen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svjs-W60voU
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Nov 21, 2017 19:13
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DeathChicken posted:I feel okay posting this promo hyping the next match between these four since it isn't going to appear on any PPVs, yet it should *really* be seen I'm not sure if I can call this the best wrestling promo, but it represents everything I love about it.
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Nov 21, 2017 19:45
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rare Magic card l00k posted:I'm not sure if I can call this the best wrestling promo, but it represents everything I love about it. I guess it wouldn't have fit WWF's family-friendly image to call them Team All The Cocaine
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Nov 21, 2017 19:56
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Keep in mind before he was "The Genius", he was "Leaping" Lanny Poffo, a jobber whose whole gimmick was reading a poem to the crowd before the start of the match. Later, he had the m on Frisbees which he'd toss to the crowd
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Nov 21, 2017 20:01
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Sherri Martel owned. HBK said when she was managing him, if she thought an opponent was being too stiff with him, when it came time for her to interfere, she'd beat the poo poo out of them, and they couldn't really do anything, since she was a woman. (Not that that means much in wrestling, but she was well thought-of backstage, so it probably would have ended badly.)
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Nov 21, 2017 20:14
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DeathChicken posted:I feel okay posting this promo hyping the next match between these four since it isn't going to appear on any PPVs, yet it should *really* be seen This is awesome
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Nov 21, 2017 20:20
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Randaconda posted:Sherri Martel owned. iirc Sherri Martel was the first wrestler Cornette ever managed too
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Nov 21, 2017 20:28
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Jason Sextro posted:iirc Sherri Martel was the first wrestler Cornette ever managed too Corny also has good things to say about her, shockingly.
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Nov 21, 2017 20:33
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Sherri never gets enough credit for her knowing smile during Booker T's "we comin' for you" gaffe.
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Nov 21, 2017 20:59
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Randaconda posted:Corny also has good things to say about her, shockingly. Booker T and Stevie Ray say they owe a lot of their career to what she taught them. And when she passed away, Booker paid for her headstone
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Nov 21, 2017 21:06
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Davros1 posted:Booker T and Stevie Ray say they owe a lot of their career to what she taught them. 
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Nov 21, 2017 23:04
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Wait seriously, Sherri's dead? Dammit that sucks 
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Nov 21, 2017 23:17
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Rarity posted:Wait seriously, Sherri's dead? Overdosed. 
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Nov 21, 2017 23:47
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Rarity posted:Wait seriously, Sherri's dead? Sherri's death came right before a much, much more uh...well-known WWE death.
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Nov 22, 2017 00:09
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I know the moment has passed, but I too would like to throw my hat in the ring of 'Earthquake is loving awesome'. I think you need to reconsider your bias against fat guys, Rarity. Yes, I am including Dusty and Boss Man here. Thanks for asking.
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Nov 22, 2017 00:14
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Sandman McMahon posted:I know the moment has passed, but I too would like to throw my hat in the ring of 'Earthquake is loving awesome'. I think you need to reconsider your bias against fat guys, Rarity. Yes, I am including Dusty and Boss Man here. Thanks for asking. There's a place in pro wrasslin' for all body types.
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Nov 22, 2017 00:23
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Sandman McMahon posted:I know the moment has passed, but I too would like to throw my hat in the ring of 'Earthquake is loving awesome'. I think you need to reconsider your bias against fat guys, Rarity. Yes, I am including Dusty and Boss Man here. Thanks for asking. I loved Mark Henry, I liked Rikishi, I tolerated Viscera, I think I'm doing all right on the bias front
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Nov 22, 2017 00:28
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Rarity posted:I loved Mark Henry, I liked Rikishi, I tolerated Viscera, I think I'm doing all right on the bias front I'm already working up a rebuttal to your inevitable Yokozuna hate post.
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Nov 22, 2017 00:36
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Rarity posted:I loved Mark Henry, I liked Rikishi, I tolerated Viscera, I think I'm doing all right on the bias front And the guys I mentioned are better than all three combined (not including when Mark actually became good. Credit where credit's due). Super important question that's entirely irrelevant to your current viewing activities: what are your thoughts on Vader?
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Nov 22, 2017 00:59
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Yokuzana was really good. Could move, could work. Vader was amazing in his prime. Him and Flair at Starcade is one of my all time favorites.
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Nov 22, 2017 01:07
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I get to a degree the Dusty thing, since this was all well past his prime. Quake, though... A man that large should not be able to move like Quake did
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Nov 22, 2017 01:35
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I still need to see video of The Big Show doing a moonsault. It's him I'm thinking of, right?
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Nov 22, 2017 03:47
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Hockles posted:I still need to see video of The Big Show doing a moonsault. Yeah, the rumour is he was doing them at the power plant and told to cut it out.
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Nov 22, 2017 04:32
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