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frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

Almanya önde!
Bir başka hedef!
Sonsuz şef Löw için zafer!


I think the Sherri version of Sexy Boy is better just because the line "He's just my sexy boy, he's not your boy toy" makes more sense.

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DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

My favorite version is the midi from the SNES Royal Rumble game (don't go looking that up yet, it's set at the 1993 Rumble and will probably spoil the roster)

Jason Sextro
Jul 30, 2003

Un alpha en développement depuis quatre ans? C'est incroyable!



I always liked the Sherri version too. Sherri as Shawn's valet made a ton of sense too bad Shawn had to pull a Shawn Pout and get her turfed

Open Marriage Night
Sep 18, 2009

"Do you want to talk to a spider, Peter?"

Rarity posted:

I can see it both ways, to be honest. I like the little BDSM vibe personally but I can see how it wouldn't play so well in the early 90s when public awareness of kink and especially consent in kink weren't so wellknown.

It's pretty obvious that he's supposed to be such a sexy boy that he can push a woman on the ground, but they still love him, and doesn't that make you mad? (Either because you don't approve of the treatment, or because you can't get away with treating women that way)

Reading this thread, it's interesting to see Sherri go from the Macho King's queen, to the Million Dollar Man's valet, to the Heart Break Kid's accessory. She knows how to pick 'em. Three of the best workers ever.

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

I've hacked into the most secret government and corporate secrets.



Open Marriage Night posted:

It's pretty obvious that he's supposed to be such a sexy boy that he can push a woman on the ground, but they still love him, and doesn't that make you mad? (Either because you don't approve of the treatment, or because you can't get away with treating women that way)

Or because it makes you say to yourself WOMEN ONLY LIKE JERKS, NOT NICE GUYS LIKE ME

RC and Moon Pie
May 5, 2011


Open Marriage Night posted:

It's pretty obvious that he's supposed to be such a sexy boy that he can push a woman on the ground, but they still love him, and doesn't that make you mad? (Either because you don't approve of the treatment, or because you can't get away with treating women that way)

Reading this thread, it's interesting to see Sherri go from the Macho King's queen, to the Million Dollar Man's valet, to the Heart Break Kid's accessory. She knows how to pick 'em. Three of the best workers ever.

Reminds me of something later in Sherri's career:

When Sherri came to WCW in 1994, the angle was that she was scouting matches by appearing at ringside. She was looking for the best opportunity to second a wrestler. For a bit, it seemed like it was going to be Brian Pillman. At the Clash in June that year, Sherri came out in Sting paint and colors. Flair pulled her into Sting's path during a crossbody block off the top rope and Sherri took the big bump. Then she helped Flair screw Sting for the title unification. Flair was starting his crazy old man gimmick and he and Sherri meshed so well. Shame it only lasted a few months.

exploded mummy
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick


Doctor Rope

why are you people so bad at this

CascadeBeta
Feb 14, 2009

To steal the life of its target, it slips into the prey's shadow and silently waits for an opportunity.


If you have to post a gigantic spoiler block of spoiler rear end spoilers, maybe try like... Not?

Jackie D
May 27, 2009

Democracy is like a tambourine - not everyone can be trusted with it.


At least this time it's WCW and technically outside the scope of the thread

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

HUSS
HUSS
HUSS


Open Marriage Night posted:

It's pretty obvious that he's supposed to be such a sexy boy that he can push a woman on the ground, but they still love him, and doesn't that make you mad? (Either because you don't approve of the treatment, or because you can't get away with treating women that way)

Reading this thread, it's interesting to see Sherri go from the Macho King's queen, to the Million Dollar Man's valet, to the Heart Break Kid's accessory. She knows how to pick 'em. Three of the best workers ever.

I don't think its ever explicitly mentioned, but Shawn's gimmick is a gigalo/stripper and it's implied Sherri is paying him for his services.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.


Thank you for using spoiler tags but next time please just post a link over to an appropriate thread (the WCW Hulk Hogan raft thread or WWE Discussion thread for instance) and post in there saying that Rarity's thread got you thinking about <x>.

Thanks guys.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

PONYTAR
PONYTAR
PONYTAR




Uh oh! Zombie Mean Gene has broken out of the cage where WWF officials keep him backstage and has shambled his way onto a podium inside the stadium. Thinking on their feet, the guys in the back send out some wrestlers in the hope that Zombie Mean Gene's interviewer instincts will kick in and so here are Legion of Doom! Except this time they're not alone.

quote:

INTRODUCING...



Here we are, the man who's synonymous with the Road Warriors finally makes his presence known in the WWF. Now despite floating in and out of various promotions over the last thirty years my exposure to Paul Ellering has been very limited so this is going to be a fairly brief introduction. The first time I caught him was when watching old Raws from the Attitude Era when Ellering was caught in the middle of the interminable feud between LOD and DOA. This involved Ellering wearing leather jackets and riding motorbikes and acting like your uncool dad as he desperately tries to hold on to the last vestiges of his youth. And this is without including the dreadful promo where he called himself “Mr Dot Com” because wow, the internet sure was a thing back then. According to Uniregistry https://www.mister.com is currently available for purchase so you need to get that poo poo locked in, Paul. You're missing a trick here.

So that was my lasting impression of Ellering for the longest time. Now fast forward to last year when I'm getting into NXT and who should I find there but an older, balder Ellering knocking around with AOP. And drat, this version of Ellering was a real eye-opener. Sure, he still wore leather jackets but they were smarter and tighter and he looked like a brooding psychopath. To be fair he never really did that much besides stare like a crazy dude and cut a few nonsensical promos but that was the point. His quiet stillness was the perfect match for AOP's loud, brutal rage and they were an amazing combination. Since being left behind on AOP's graduation to the main roster I can genuinely say that I've missed Ellering and I really hope he shows up in NXT again one day.

So yes, Ellering has joined back up with LOD and they're here for an interview. I'm gonna spoil this now, LOD don't have a match tonight so I can only assume one of them's carrying an injury and this is their way of giving the fans something because I can't think of any other reason to not book your biggest tag team on your biggest show of the year. Ellering introduces himself by calling himself the bad apple. The bond between them was formed by honour and now revenge unites them once again. This is the beginning of the end because he's come “not to get rich, but get even”. Why not have both, Paul? This doesn't sound like a mutually exclusive situation.

Animal says that they've looked adversity in the eye since day one, although I'm not sure what he means by that LOD have steamrolled everyone since coming in. Hawk agrees with me because he says they've been a “runaway train” since coming in but things are even scarier now because they've got a driver. Apparently having someone who can put the breaks on make things... worse? Ellering asks the other teams in the division if “the going up is worth the coming down” and claims another nickname with “the Percolator of Destruction”, which is only slightly less dumb than Mister Dot Com. He's here to focus on the little details that separate the good from the great. You know, this last year I always thought Ellering's promos were weird and silly because he was with AOP but no, apparently he's just always like this.


I'm sure the Disasters are terrified of one of these

We cross over to Sean Mooney for a promo with Jake “The Snake” Roberts, who has a naked lady on his tights with her naughty bits tastefully covered up by a snake. How very 90s of you, Jake. Mooney brings up a rumour that Jake plans to bring a snake to the ring but he denies this because he knows that even “senile as he is” Tunney wouldn't allow it. We get a clip of Jake's appearance on the Funeral Parlour where he trabs Taker's hand a coffin and hits the DDT on Bearer. Jake claims that he did this to show that the smartest man wins. We also see Jake smack Taker with a chair while he's trapped in the coffin. Jake describes this as “a little fun for me, none for you” and warns Taker that he “will put the final nail in your own coffin”. I really like that after 18 months of being an unstoppable monster Jake is the first guy to really get one over on Taker. It really sells this cunning heel persona.

Jake “The Snake” Roberts vs. The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer

Of course, the other side of this is that Taker is a face now! Now how his career goes on this was obviously always going to happen at some point but even so I cannot comprehend the idea of this version of Taker as a face. Like, can you imagine walking corpse Taker getting fired up or showing fighting spirit? But as he walks out he gets a massive pop from the crowd so it must be clicking with them somehow. Man, I wish I had some context for this. At no point in this show do they explain how Taker turned face and I can't see how you pull that off. Maybe if I knew it would all make sense but as it is I feel like I've fallen into Earth-2 WWF.

SIGN OF THE NIGHT


I'm not choosing this cause it's funny, it's because it's metal as gently caress

So Taker walks towards the ring. And he walks. ...And he walks. drat, it's only his second Wrestlemania appearance and he's already taking ages with his loving entrance. Talk about being a primadonna. Although this does give me a chance to appreciate the staging for this arena. They've got a big blue carpet that stretches all the way from the stands to the ring. For being one of the low budget Wrestlemanias they've made this appear to be a big deal. Taker's still walking by the way. Thinking about it, Taker must be the first of these monster heels to survive a feud with Hulk and come out still being a big deal. Well, Andre I guess but he doesn't count because he was already a legend at that point. But Earthquake got tanked into the tag division, Bundy wound up wrestling little people, Slaughter rediscovered his love for America and the midcard and Zeus is making movies with Jean Claude Van Damme. Taker's still got heat and still important which is a big achievement.

There, he's finally in the ring. Phew.

The bell ring and Jake starts off quick with a flurry of punches as he dashes around Taker. However, nothing stops the big man and he just keeps on coming. Ok, I guess I can see how this character works as a face. It's like this slow but inevitable force so when he's in a match you know the bad guy is going to wind up getting caught. It's different but it could be decent. Jake clotheslines Taker out of the ring but he lands on his feet and drags Jake out for a beating. On commentary Heenan says that “death never takes a holiday” which is a fantastic line. Back in the ring Taker chokes Jake in the corner then takes him over to the opposite corner for more choking! Welp, whether heel or face it looks like Taker's matches still suck.

Are you guys ready of a joke, courtesy of Heenan? Great. Ok, how did Bearer get the urn? “He earned it”. And this is why I think it's best that we leave the comedy to me, Bobby. Taker applies yet another chokehold and connects with a giant leaping clothesline. He got so much air on that thing, drat. Taker goes for the Tombstone but Jake reverses it into the DDT and then chooses not to cover him! Oh Jake. Oh Jake, you wonderful idiot. Just as what happens every single time you leave Taker alone on the mat he sits up so Jake hits...


THE RAINMAAAAAAAKERRRRRR

Taker sits up again because of course he sits up again but he walks right into another DDT. Goddam, this is getting ridiculous now. There's so much finisher spam here that it feels like watching from this decade. I mean, it's quite enjoyable and a lot better than endless chokeholds but it's still ridiculous. With Taker still down on the mat Jake decides this is the moment to go after Berarer but Taker sits up once agan and follows Jake to the outside where he nails the Tombstone on the plastic mat. Yeesh, that is a risky spot. Taker rolls Jake back into the ring to get the inevitable victory to go 2-0. What a streak!

While the ending was fun overall this was a bad match. I think Taker must have the most obvious match formula out of anyone on the roster cause every matches he's in looks exactly the same until the last couple of minutes. It's a shame because it's clear that he's capable of doing more than he shows and he always puts in a couple of moves that make that clear. This version of the Taker gimmick is holding him back so much in the ring and I hope I don't have too long to wait before he starts to cut loose a little more.


Yup, that sure is a naked lady on your leg, Jake

Addendum: Welp it's time for one of our biggest departures left as Jake has decided to check out the cocaine down south and made the jump to WCW. Of course, this isn't the final end for Jake because we know he's got a date with Steve Austin at King of the Ring '96 but it sounds like he's gone for a while. This is one of the most high profile departures we've seen so far and it feels like a big deal. That said, Jake never really connected with me as a favourite. His in-ring work was just ok and beginning to get outdated and while he gave us some great promos it took a long time for him to get to that point. For the majority of his run he was kind of just there. My main Jake memories are of him throwing a snake at Andre in the Rumble, the snakebite angle and the feud with Martel although not the match itself. It's a bit of a shame that he's leaving now just when his heel character was really clicking with me but all in all I don't expect to miss him.

remusclaw
Dec 8, 2009



Yeah, to me Jake was all presence and finish, and that was more than enough for me back in the day. Hell taker was too.

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Short version, Jake was about to smack around Elizabeth again (this time with a chair), Undertaker grabs it.

Jake: Whose side are you on?

Undertaker: Not yours.

Face turn

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

PONYTAR
PONYTAR
PONYTAR




DeathChicken posted:

Short version, Jake was about to smack around Elizabeth again (this time with a chair), Undertaker grabs it.

Jake: Whose side are you on?

Undertaker: Not yours.

Face turn

Well that makes no sense

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Yeah, I remember there being no particular build up for it, aside from Jake being an incredible rear end in a top hat and the crowd getting behind Taker ever since he killed Hogan

syzpid
Aug 9, 2014


Rarity posted:

Well that makes no sense

Someone could correct me if I'm remembering wrong, but Taker was already hugely over and getting cheers anyway. So it made sense to make him a face.

remusclaw
Dec 8, 2009



As a kid, I felt like Hogan was a superhero, but that Undertaker was literally unstoppable. Like, I would worry about Hogan, I knew he could lose, but he almost never did, Undertaker was invincible.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

Dispensing unwanted fitness advice since 2005. P.S. Squat more! BEEFCAKE!!!

Early, bad Undertaker match:

1) No-selling everything
2) Choke holds galore
3) Crazy athletic move out of nowhere makes you go
4) No-selling opponent's finisher(s)
5) A tombstone piledriver that either keeps the guy's head a foot of the ground... or looks like a leaping skull spike of death for real.

He gets real good but it's a way off for sure.

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

I am above your criticism.
I do Disney characters for the claps.
Clap me. Claps for me.
Recognise my ability and show me that you love me.
Show me.
SHOW ME.
Upppfh.
Oh yeah.
Hit me with your inferior munter.
I am FORK BOY (84)
Upfh.. Oh yeaaah.


sean10mm posted:

Early, bad Undertaker match:

1) No-selling everything
2) Choke holds galore
3) Crazy athletic move out of nowhere makes you go
4) No-selling opponent's finisher(s)
5) A tombstone piledriver that either keeps the guy's head a foot of the ground... or looks like a leaping skull spike of death for real.

He gets real good but it's a way off for sure.

Yeah, I loved Taker a lot and dressed as him for Halloween one time around this time, but it doesn't hold up. Aside from the MDK tombstone. That's the reckless insanity I can get behind.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


Undertaker/Jake goes back to the post-credits storytelling I've been talking about (ie. Slaughter burning Hogan and the Savage/Elizabeth wedding reception). My timeline might be off, but here's how it went down:

- Saturday Night's Main Event has a Saturday night main event of Savage vs. Jake. Once again, Savage handily destroys Jake. This time, once the match is over, he grabs the ring bell, climbs to the top rope and jumps off, burying the bell into Jake's throat. Savage and Elizabeth celebrate and the feud is accepted to be finished as they end the show.

- On the next set of Superstars/Challenge shows, the commentators talk up that match and how crazy things got after they went off the air. Rather than tell us or show us, they say that they'd do so next week.

- Next week, they show Savage vs. Jake in full again, including the ring bell spot, the post-match celebration and the copyright thing. The footage keeps going and Vince hears about something going on backstage. We see that Jake is behind the curtain, coughing like crazy and wielding a chair. He's waiting for Savage and Elizabeth to walk backstage so he can ambush them. Vince is losing his poo poo, begging for someone to warn them. When Jake goes for a swing, the chair is caught by something and Savage is able to rush Elizabeth to safety. Jake looks over and we see Undertaker holding the chair back while glaring down at Jake.

They tell us that Jake will be on the Funeral Parlor in the following week.

- Jake confronts Undertaker on the Funeral Parlor and only gets the response that Undertaker isn't on his side. Jake responds to this by stealing the urn, shoving it into a casket, locking it onto Undertaker's hand and DDTing Paul. Then he beats Undertaker down with a chair. Undertaker gets back up and advances while dragging the casket behind him. Jake beats him down some more with the chair and Undertaker again no-sells it to the point that Jake peaces out because holy poo poo.

"NOT YOUUUUUURS!" didn't make all the sense in the world, but it got a huge pop and that's the Undertaker in a nutshell.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

Dispensing unwanted fitness advice since 2005. P.S. Squat more! BEEFCAKE!!!

forkboy84 posted:

Yeah, I loved Taker a lot and dressed as him for Halloween one time around this time, but it doesn't hold up. Aside from the MDK tombstone. That's the reckless insanity I can get behind.

Sometimes he'd do a BIG jump before delivering it, which was even more than usual.

People just loved his character from the get-go, and that carried him until he actually got good at wrestling.

We're just, uh, not there yet, but at least he's a good "monster spectacle" type of guy even at his worst.

Shiki Dan
Oct 27, 2010

If ya can move ya toes ya back's fine


Yeah, for one time on this show they didn't do a good job of explaining the buildup of Taker's face turn:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjMcLOmoeOw

But yeah, Taker was getting increasingly loud face pops, and so for that other reason seen later it just made sense to turn him here.

Also Jake's promo before the match was loving awesome, just as good as his legendary "Muck of avarice" promo at WM6.

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

I admittedly kind of like how even in his last match they protected Jake's DDT pretty well. He had Taker down for like a 20 count, if he didn't insist on being a gloaty rear end in a top hat

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' YA'LL TO KEEP IT TIGHT


Fun Shoe

Gavok posted:

- Jake confronts Undertaker on the Funeral Parlor and only gets the response that Undertaker isn't on his side. Jake responds to this by stealing the urn, shoving it into a casket, locking it onto Undertaker's hand and DDTing Paul. Then he beats Undertaker down with a chair. Undertaker gets back up and advances while dragging the casket behind him. Jake beats him down some more with the chair and Undertaker again no-sells it to the point that Jake peaces out because holy poo poo.

9 year old me lost my poo poo watching Taker angrily drag the casket while lumbering after Jake, such a great moment

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

The best was how Jake would lay Taker out, start talking to the crowd, and Taker would rise.

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

HUSS
HUSS
HUSS


Taker did a Braun by being the unstoppable monster who played whatever side he wanted. He turned on Jake because the spirits called for him to do so.

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Jake's stupid fault for thinking just because his snake died and he palled around with a zombie meant he understood Death

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

PONYTAR
PONYTAR
PONYTAR




In the back Zombie Mean Gene is with both Bret Hart and Rowdy Roddy Piper as they prepare to face off against each other. Ooh, this is awkward. Piper tells Bret how much he loves the Hart family and reminds him that he's known him since he was “knee high to a grasshopper” and they were changing his “potty pants”. But then he adds that Bret “wasn't potty trained until he was seven” and his “shoes were always ties together”. While Piper is flinging juvenile insults at him Bret is staring Piper down calmly like a loving boss. Piper tries to pinch Bret's cheek but Bret grabs his hand to stop him. Bret only cares about winning the IC belt back and touches the title but Piper shoves his hand away. They get in a bit of argie-bargie right there and almost come to blows but Zombie Mean Gene stalls them out and sends Bret to the ring. Great loving promo here, the dynamic going on was fantastic.

Intercontinental Title Match
Bret Hart vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper


Now when you talk about matches worthy of making a Wrestlemania card this would have to be right up there. The real life relationship between these two automatically makes it a huge deal and as we've already seen in that promo leads some really interesting story possibilities. I've never thought much of Piper's ringwork but if he's ever going to have a good match then it's going to be with Bret, and not just because of how good Bret is. Bret's out first and he's traded in his old pink Sgt. Pepper jacket for a leather one. It's not as flashy but drat, he looks like the coolest fucker on the planet. There's a big match feel as Piper follows him out. I think this could be something special.


You can feel the tension in the air

As we get underway Gino backs up Piper's creds by bringing up his Golden Gloves background but Heenan writes this off as “amateur punch stuff”. Well, he couldn't even beat Mr. T so Heenan's got a point here. They exchange armdrags in the early going then Piper gets in a waistlock but Bret scrambles and sends him out of the ring. This puts Piper in a mood and he hawks up a big old loogie at Bret. Uh oh, this is already starting to turn ugly. The nice technical work continues as Bret applies a wristlock that Piper can't escape from. While he's struggling to get out Gino sends out shoutouts to the UK, Germany and Italy who will all be getting a visit from the European tour shortly. Heenan says that he's going to Sheffield and Gino retorts that he's sorry to hear about it. Yeah, I would be too.

It looks like Bret's momentum might stall out when he takes a bad landing off a dropkick and starts clutching his shoulder. Piper comes over to check on him but nope, Bret's a faker and he rolls Piper up for a two count. Bret goes for a crossbody on Piper to take them to the outside but it's a huge botch and they both wind up tangled in the ropes. Ow, that did not look pleasant for either of them. Piper makes it back to the ring first so he holds the ropes open for Bret. Aww, that's cute. He even points out that Bret's boot is untied so Bret goes to fix it but now Piper's the faker and he gets in a cheap shot. Man, this is exactly what I was talking about before the match. Great interplay going on here.


This pic manages to look almost artistic

Piper nails a bulldog and somewhere along the way Bret has been busted open although I'm not sure where it was meant to be. I think Bret's just decided to blade cause it's an important match so he feels like he should. Piper continues to press his advantage while Bret looks completely out of it. This dude is spent right here. But then all of a sudden Bret connects with a running forearm and then they collide with a double clothesline and both men go down. Now this is drama! Piper recovers first and goes up top but Bret quickly leaps to his feet to grab him and take him off with a hangman facebuster. Sweet as hell.

We're deep in the closing stages now which means it's time for Bret to roll out the Five Moves of Doom. He runs through them and goes for the Sharpshooter but Piper blocks it. Bret goes to the second rope but he comes off straight into Piper's boot and they both wind up on their knees as they slug it out with the last of their energy. This is loving wrestling right here, folks. They muster some adrenaline to get back to their feet but then Piper gives Bret a shove that sends him sprawling into the ref. And we all know what this means!

~*SHENANIGANS*~

Piper sees that the ref's out of it so he gets out of the ring and grabs the ringbell from the timekeeper. He comes back in and lifts the bell high over his head while a blooded and battered Bret is scrambling at his feet. With the Intercontinental title on the line all he has to do to be assured of victory is to lay out one of his closest friends. The crowd is screaming like mad and Bret is clawing at his knees and he hesitates. He looks around at the fans and back down at Bret and this is the moment, it's now or never. Can he do it?


*dramatic tension*

He can't! Piper throws the bell out of the ring and locks on a sleeper hold. Bret stumbles around over to the turnbuckle which he uses to flip up and over into the cover. The ref crawls over and counts the pin and Bret is once again the champion! Amazing match! The ref comes over with the belt but Piper grabs it and hands it over to Bret as helps him to his feet. The two men share a hug and support each other as they walk back up the entrance. Awwww.

Oh my god, this match was really cool. Easily Piper's best ever match by a country mile. The storytelling was strong the whole way through and peaked so high in those last few moments. The idea of Piper knowing what he needs to do win and just not being able to bring himself to do it is so strong and hit my emotions hard. It's rare for wrestling to give you such big emotional beats during the matches but when it happens it really works. If I was Piper I'd just call it a day after this one because you're not getting anything better than that.

I think we need a little bit of a breather after that one and luckily Heenan's got a surprise in store for us. He's arranged for a video linkup interview with the newest member of the WBF roster. Oh gently caress, the WBF! I was hoping I could get through this thread without ever having to think about that travesty. So we link up live to Atlanta to have a chat with...

Oh no.

Oh god no.

quote:

INTRODUCING...



But unfortunately yes, we have reached the debut of Lex Luger, also known as the Total Package. And if that package is misery, ineptitude, laziness and disappointment then yes, he is the Total Package. I consider myself very fortunate to have mostly avoided Luger's career and it's a shame that this run of good luck is coming to an end. By the time I got into wrestling with WCW in '99 Luger's career was already on its way out and he didn't make much of an impression. I remember he teamed up with Buff Bagwell to form Totally Buff and he had a feud with Chuck Palumbo because Palumbo was stealing his gimmick but I couldn't tell you any details about his stories or his matches. I think he's just one of the most forgettable wrestlers of the 90s.

Geez, I don't have much to say about him here. It's just... ugh. Just ugh.

That's right, Luger is here and ready to talk about his upcoming appearance for the WBF. Now I don't know if this was their angle for bringing Luger into the WWF or whether he switched over after the WBF tanked but either way this is a terrible use of your time on your biggest show of the year. Luger praises the “standards of excellence” that Heenan is putting forth in broadcasting but he can't say the same for “the fat guy”. Were heels and faces a thing in the WBF? I'm now seeing someone showing off their striations until Luger smacks from behind with a chair.

Luger knows that seeing him must be a thrill for everyone and calls himself the “most genetically gifted, anatomically perfect human being”. Sir, I must protest! Your name isn't Kota Ibushi! Luger talks down all his competition including GARRY STRYDOM. Look at you Garry, getting a Wrestlemania shoutout. Heenan wants to see a sneak peak of Luger's body and Luger claims to be modest but is still whipping his top off faster than the Warlord getting eliminated from a Rumble. He's only been training for a week and a half but it only takes him “a few weeks off the Snickers bars” to get his body in shape. To be fair to the man, he's got a lot of muscles. He's got so many muscles he looks loving ridiculous. This is 1992, aren't we meant to be in the anti-steroids era right now? Luger finishes off by taking a glass of milk from a scantily clad lady and gulping it down. Promoting healthy teeth and bones, classic heel move.


I think you could fit like five of my arms in one of his

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.


Bret Hart was so loving cool, and it's weird that I rarely think of Roddy Piper when I think of his great opponents.

TL
Jan 16, 2006

Yeah, it is. Isn't it?

Bowties are cool.

I will never not laugh at Luger referring to his shirt as a top.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

Almanya önde!
Bir başka hedef!
Sonsuz şef Löw için zafer!


Rarity posted:

Bret's out first and he's traded in his old pink Sgt. Pepper jacket for a leather one. It's not as flashy but drat, he looks like the coolest fucker on the planet.

CubsWoo
Aug 17, 2005

Where the big boys RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU


Rarity posted:

That's right, Luger is here and ready to talk about his upcoming appearance for the WBF. Now I don't know if this was their angle for bringing Luger into the WWF or whether he switched over after the WBF tanked but either way this is a terrible use of your time on your biggest show of the year.

Luger had a non-compete clause written into his NWA/WCW contract and was strictly a 'WBF Bodystar' at Mania 8.

dsriggs
May 28, 2012

MONEY FALLS...

...FROM THE SKY...

...WHENEVER HE POSTS!


Rarity posted:

*unneccesary bashing of The Narcissist*

Hey, Lex Luger's one of the biggest legendstars ever in this... GAH!!!

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Luger's career is...uh, interesting. He was actually very good (I know, hard to believe) around 89 or 90 or so in WCW. Had a pretty great series of matches with Flair, that unfortunately went for a long time and it became apparent that he was never going to take the title from him. Sort of like Roman vs Brock nowadays, except people liked Lex. And then somewhere in here he decided the Kevin Nash Way was the best way and he didn't have to do poo poo except look pretty, so that's what he do.

remusclaw
Dec 8, 2009



Lex is one of those guys who lived or died by the way he was booked. People liked him, but not like, Danial Bryan style liked him.

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011

Me uni a la Revolucion #RXT


el sabe ...


Luger is awesome.

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El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010


I'd say it's Pipers 2nd best match. He had a dog collar match at Starrcade '83, and it's incredibly violent and good. It also permanently cost Roddy some hearing in one of his ears.

I had to be talked into watching it, because it was with Greg Valentine which sounds awful on paper, but they beat the poo poo out of each other.

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