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sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Just wanted to day I love these. Keep it up!

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sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Jake the Snake in his prime was fun. He was a "serious" lone wolf villain when everyone else acted like they were cartoons on coccaine.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Platypus Farm posted:

So, they were just being real, while Jake was the only one pretending he -wasn't-? What a world, what a world!

Pretty funny huh?

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Platypus Farm posted:

Don't worry, he's coming up in a real barn burner of a match soon.

On the upside lots of Bret Hart in future Wrestlemanias! And not ALL bad gimmick matches either!

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Spoiler not spoiler: Steamboat gets a much better showcase in WM3.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Mr Fuji actually wrestled way back when, and also would throw salt in the eyes of the good guys sometimes as a manager. Don't know why he didn't do poo poo in these shows though.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


poo poo's about to get good in WM3!

(looks at upcoming matches)

Uh... at some point!

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


The Barber gimmick was really over in the 1980s... somehow.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Koko B. Ware had a sick as gently caress stalling brainbuster finisher you didn't get to see in that match.

And a bird called...Frankie?

So I have no explanation either. 80s wierd as gently caress y'all.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


I went back and watched some like 1988-1990 Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake matches, and here's what I learned:

First, you need to come to grips with how deeply ridiculous his gimmick really is. He's not just a sexy wrestler called "Beefcake." He's not just a barber who cuts the bad guys' hair when he wins wrestling matches. He's a Chippendale dancer, whose gimmick is being a sexy barber, who is wrestling. It's the Tropic Thunder joke of "I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude," played out in front of thousands of people, for years. And he's doing it with total commitment!

Spoiler not spoiler: because cocaine.

Second, we talk about how cartoony WWF wrestling could get in the 1980s, but uh Brutus is really a shining example of this. For a guy treated as a "real wrestler" and not a one-off joke he just acts silly as gently caress, all the time. He sells like everything happening to him is a catastrophe, he mugs for the crowd in the most goofily broad and exaggerated way, and all in all he treats EVERYTHING happening as the BIGGEST DEAL, good or bad. And the crowds just loved that poo poo.

Third, lol this guy really can't "wrestle" as such, can he? I don't mean by internet smark standards now, I mean even by 1980s WWF standards. He's a one dimensional brawler, but you can't take it seriously because he's such a gigantic cartoon goofball. It's like if, I dunno, Stan Hansen wasn't stiff as gently caress and dressed like a pink teddy bear, it kind of just doesn't compute. He makes Peak Laziness Hulk Hogan look like Career Apex Kurt Angle or some poo poo. He improved relative to the early 80s in a general way, but the dude just has almost no moves whatsoever.

I almost think he's... not overrated, because he really can't do poo poo, but... over-hated? At his peak he wasn't so bad that he couldn't be carried to a fun match, which is real bad, but not like The Great Khali bad or something.

Also looking back I was a little unfair to Koko B. Ware. He was basically just a fun little dude with a bird, but he could also actually DO THINGS. And for a smaller guy he was strong as gently caress, you can see him hoist guys way bigger than him in the brainbuster and just let them hang there before spiking their skulls. He never got a big push and mostly crushed pure jobbers, but people always liked him and it's pretty easy to see why.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Rarity posted:

Can we please not post stuff I've not got to yet when I've specifically asked not to be spoiled?

Back to work watching, you!

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Platypus Farm posted:

Jake is kinda weird because a lot of his best promo work was on TV tapings and his ring psychology is such that you can't really just watch a blow-off match and have it be awesome.

Also I think 90% of his "big" matches happened on Saturday Night's Main Event instead any of the PPVs for some reason, including vs. Steamboat (twice), Savage (twice), and Rick Rude.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Rarity posted:

Demolition are absolute wank, I'm fairly certain my mind won't be changed on this one.



Spoiler not spoiler, let me describe every Demolition match:

1) Scoop slam
2) World's shittiest snapmare followed by turning the opponents head sideways a few degrees and acting like it was murder
3) Double ax handle to the back of a bent over guy over and over while jumping up and down to make it sound like something
4) Shitass team finishing move involving a lazy 2nd rope elbow drop flop

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Gaz-L posted:

See: Ascension, The

Powers of Pain.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Rude & Jake the Snake had a good feud that started after the WM IV match, and was actually unrelated to it in any way. I don't think it really tied into any PPV matches though.

sean10mm fucked around with this message at Aug 28, 2017 around 21:47

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Platypus Farm posted:

There was an angle later that involved Rude creeping on jake's [then] wife which led to an excellent feud that, in classic jake fashion, took place mostly away from PPVs.

I really wish I could find the full video of the Madison Square Garden match towards the end of the feud. The gimmick was you couldn't win unless you hit your finisher for the pin. Apparently Jake wins via DDT, feeds Rude to Damien and then hugs his wife at the end and the crowd goes nuts. Then they had a worse match to end the feud/transition to a feud with Jake vs. Andre the Giant (I think?), some poo poo like that.

All I can find is a 2 minute preview clip that doesn't show the ending.

e: Jake's the face in that feud obviously, but his promos are basically still just "I'm a serial killer quietly explaining to you how I'm going to watch your soul leave your body as you die."

sean10mm fucked around with this message at Aug 29, 2017 around 17:41

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


RZApublican posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SvhQZh0yuI

Hoganplex '88 just baffles me on so many levels. Did Hogan do many suplexes, or was this his first one? He must know what one looks like, he'd been wrestling for a little over ten years at that point. It just looks like he's trying to intentionally injure Virgil, though that might have just been Virgil not bumping correctly. This whole thing is just so slow, sloppy, and awkward.

It's a toss suplex, which is a real move I've seen other wrestlers do. Just not a pretty one. Normally you throw the guy further and it looks better, but I'm guessing he half-assed it so Virgil hit the concrete with less speed, but the result probably wasn't much better for the guy.

DeathChicken posted:

Probably a simple "My rear end isn't taking a bump to concrete, brother."

Also this.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Rarity posted:

I don't trust you any more, I've been hurt before

I mean the One Man Gang gets a new gimmick that's uuuuuh really something so technically he's not lying but lol.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Matilda was a textbook chill bulldog that didn't give a gently caress about anything but dinner and belly rubs, and heels acting like she was a werewolf was always delightful.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Randaconda posted:

In the pro wrasslin' world, where the rear end in a top hat bar is set way higher, he's fine.

To be "bad" by the standards of pro wrestling you basically need to be a murderer, rapist or head of some kind of human trafficking ring.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


The key was that Honky Tonk was intercontinental champ FOREVER, and was the biggest cheating coward possible the whole time, so everyone was DYING to see him get squashed. It's a great way to get someone over.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


The Anvil owned during the original Hart Foundation run. He was a brawling power guy who had enough agility to bust out some surprising moves, and he just had a really fun "wild man" persona. He was completely different from Hart, but in the good way like you want.

And yeah, Hart Foundation promos were basically Bret wearing shades and being while Neidhart did most of the talking ranting.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


DeathChicken posted:

80s Bossman and Bossman from...I want to say roughly two years from where you are are like two different people. Mainly he drops like a hundred pounds and can suddenly move

Yeah at some point he's busting out enzuigiris lol.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Sometimes these felt like the dawn of movies when nobody even had a concept of what people would want to see so they just filmed random acts and charged a nickel.

This did work for the Mr Perfect video of him owning at everything tho.

sean10mm fucked around with this message at Sep 17, 2017 around 11:45

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


The Jumping Bomb Angels really were some next-level poo poo for sure. At least by WWF standards for that time.

sean10mm fucked around with this message at Sep 18, 2017 around 21:47

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Ultimate Warrior was an extreme example of spamming 1980s era steroids and doing zero cardio. Matilda the bulldog had more endurance than the Ultimate Warrior.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Silly Burrito posted:

Sounds like WCW 1998-2000.

Its like poetry, it rhymes.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


The Hammer's peak shape was potato so booking him to wrestle 30 years after that is just laffo anyway.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Ah yes, the classic 3-way gay panic Mexican standoff.



Even in the 1980s I think a lot of people were just confused and grossed out by that bit. It's basically "Gay is bad, now show me your nuts!" which uhhhh

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Anvil could really move for a big ol' hoss type of wrestler.

And once again Bret was the great Hero Who Goes for the Nuts. Rack 'em, Bret!

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


The WWF was the rear end end of Dusty's career, it's OK to not be that impressed.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Rude hitting that ganso bomb thing on Warrior was something else. It looks nasty at first but Warrior actually hits Rude's upper legs first rather than just spiking his skull.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


You really need to watch The Fifth Element, where Zeus is President of Earth.

Also he has 209 acting credits on IMDB LOL. Not a typo, TWO HUNDRED AND NINE.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


This is only true if you ignore all his work in Japan, which while overhyped by his apologists is nevertheless visibly different from what he did everywhere else.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Aesop Poprock posted:

He adapted relatively well when he wrestled in New Japan in the 80s. I think Hogan just knows how to read a crowd well enough to know how to do the least amount possible to get himself over wherever he is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-2xuXQnncQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3Mly1h4QsI

I don't think Hogan ever really had the agility/coordination to do much more than he did in Japan. Japan basically pushed him as far as his physical ability really went I think. He wasn't a guy who was ever going to be able to do Undertaker-style suicide dives and tightrope walks and poo poo even if he was hypothetically more motivated.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Randaconda posted:

Earthquake was fine for a big man.

That match probably didn't show any of it off to be fair.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Randaconda posted:

EDIT: I had to check, but 1989 was an amazing year for Flair. The Ricky Steamboat feud, then the Terry Funk feud. Jesus.

Flair & Steamboat had a goddamn trilogy of absolutely top tier title matches in 89.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


And No Holds Barred only gets "better" from there!

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Wasn't most of Hansen's good work in Japan?

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sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!


Everything about this project owns.

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