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Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Lurdiak posted:

Whenever I see a Judo guy in a random action movie I point at the screen like I'm a 5 year old who just saw Sans Undertale.

Then the Judo guy usually gets killed immediately.

Yeah. It sucks!

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TheOmegaWalrus
Feb 3, 2007


I am two shots, one bowl, five minutes into Omega Doom and I'm utterly convinced that I'm in for a barn burner of a movie here.

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010
ASK ME ABOUT MY SELF-PUBLISHED WARHAMMER FANFICTION AND MY KNIFE COLLECTION


TheOmegaWalrus posted:

I am two shots, one bowl, five minutes into Omega Doom and I'm utterly convinced that I'm in for a barn burner of a movie here.

Directed by Albert Pyun

Written by Akira Kurosawa

Let's play 'disconnect the dots'

Hirez
Feb 3, 2003

Weber scored 49 points?



Chas McGill posted:

I remember trying to watch the first season of Strikeback and bouncing off it, is it worth reading a synopsis and just trying from the 2nd season onwards?

B-Rock452 posted:

It's kind of connected but watching the first season isn't required at all. I have never seen it and I consider strike back one of my favorite shows


yea what this guy said, some of the middle seasons are loving fantastic - I really liked the South America one and the Africa one with Tywin. The show after s1 is basically british 24 with swearing and cinemax tits jammed into 13 episodes.

It's always some nuke/biological/whatever doubling down every episode with a cliffhanger. great show (even the newer new cast one; but as others said, the leads just don't have the same chemistry)

TheOmegaWalrus
Feb 3, 2007


Albert Pyun is a man who is hell-bent on delivering his very specific brand of cyberpunk to the big screen, production costs and traditional good sense be damned.

Omega Doom is a naked rip-off of Yojimbo stripped of it's character, action and soul.

Rutger Hauer is an android and in the first few minutes he is shot in the "program" (what?) and this converts his terminator tenancies into empathy. So many head-scratching decisions went into this movie. It is a maelstrom of mismanagement. Where normal films have footsteps, this movie has painstakingly given every character (all robots) mechanical movement sounds. Every time a character moves, a random sound taken from electric can openers, windshield wipers, or an RC car plays. After the first few minutes I found this weird adherence to this terrible idea utterly, utterly hilarious.

Pyun may have the body of a fully-mature Hawaiian adult, but inside beats the heart of a very thirsty teenager. The offensive, capricious use of 90's tech terminology smacks of Albert watching TechTV for a few hours then banging out the first (and final) draft of this movie in a late night Mountain Dew session. The two gangs that Hauer plays against each other are called the "Driods" and the "ROMS". This pretty much sums up the film right there.

But for it's multitude of failings, I cannot call this movie lazy or cheap. You can count the dollars on screen with both hands at times, but the lighting is creative and the performances earnest.

ynohtna
Feb 16, 2007

How does that sound?



Illegal Hen

I can't stop laughing at this poster:


Apparently, Christopher Lambert was considered for the lead role before Hauer. Because, of course.

NoneMoreNegative
Jul 20, 2000
GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN
MASTER




shit wizard dad

The early Seagal stuff where he did a bunch of Judo-style throws and shoves was an eye opener when all the other martial arts stuff I had seen was very kick-based.

Of course these days if you could somehow Judo from sitting in a chair he would be absolutely unstoppable.


This is a re-use of the Yojimbo / Fistful of Dollars plot, but it is in no way a good movie.

dokmo
Aug 26, 2006

man


Morbid Hound

Albert Pyun movies come up often in this thread, and they are interesting because if nothing else Pyun makes choices, but it's also worth remembering that those movies are loving terrible because he tries so hard. The last one I saw was the one with Ice T and the mambo music, and holy poo poo that was awful. It was more annoying than awful, but that special kind of annoying when someone with ideas wants to beat you over the head with them.

married but discreet
May 7, 2005




Taco Defender

drat, I gotta watch Omega Doom.

Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

Let your word be "Yes, Yes" or "No, No"; anything more than this comes from the evil one.




Seagal isn't a judo guy, he's an aikido guy. Infamously, he told "Judo" Gene LeBell that he couldn't be choked out, and LeBell choked him out and made him poop his pants.

B-Rock452
Jan 6, 2005




I think a lot of Seagal's early movies work because (at least on screen) he looks like a pretty big guy and half his moves just involves him pushing people smaller than him around. I can't really picture his fighting style working if he was closer in size to anyone he fights on screen.

EL BROMANCE
Jun 10, 2006

COWABUNGA DUDES!



Halloween Jack posted:

Seagal isn't a judo guy, he's an aikido guy. Infamously, he told "Judo" Gene LeBell that he couldn't be choked out, and LeBell choked him out and made him poop his pants.

It's important to note that Seagal hates this story because he insists it isn't true, and I believe that nobody has been able to corroborate LeBell's account.

It's therefore imperative to ensure it is told as complete fact.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Gene Lebell is a big bullshitter and that story is not real. However, it doesn't change the fact that Steven Seagal is such a disliked dork that everyone wishes the story was real. When people want bad things about someone to be true, that's a very bad reflection on the person in question imo.

Rascar Capac
Aug 31, 2016

Surprisingly nice, for an evil Inca mummy.

When the legend (about pants-making GBS threads) becomes fact, print the legend (about pants-making GBS threads).

Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

Let your word be "Yes, Yes" or "No, No"; anything more than this comes from the evil one.




B-Rock452 posted:

I think a lot of Seagal's early movies work because (at least on screen) he looks like a pretty big guy and half his moves just involves him pushing people smaller than him around. I can't really picture his fighting style working if he was closer in size to anyone he fights on screen.
Yeah, Seagal is a legitimately big tall guy and was reasonably fit at his peak. It looked impressive when he would do these irimi-nage throws that are basically pro wrestling clotheslines against smaller guys. One thing I will say for Seagal is that he was good at making his aikido look realistic by making it a little "sloppy." The problem with his choreography was that he kept doing movies where he had creative control, and he wanted to be untouchable in all his fight scenes.

I don't know if the LeBell story is real, but I absolutely believe that 60-year-old LeBell would have whipped 40-year-old Seagal.

I met one actual fighter I respected who spoke highly of aikido. He was a heavyweight professional boxer. If you're strong enough that you can grab someone by the wrist and just not let go, aikido is a more efficient way to sling people around. But theoretically, it allows a smaller and weaker person to control a bigger and stronger one, and it's really not very good at that! Judo and jujutsu have very different strategies for doing that which are proven effective.

I once found some guys who claim to do "street aikido," which is not at all believable but pretty entertaining. And it's more believable than Keysi, anyway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h__CdPeJoXo

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!



Fun Shoe

Yea it's really a shame that Seagal never got his ego in check enough to give us some great back and forth fight scenes. Even Bruce Lee was willing to sometimes allow his character to take some punishment to make a scene more tense and interesting. Nobody would care about the Chuck Norris scene from Way of the Dragon if he just beat Norris' rear end in two seconds like Seagal did to every one of his opponents.

B-Rock452
Jan 6, 2005




I kind of like that there is no back and forth with Seagal's fights, they always make his opponents just absolute scumbags (much like segal himself) so him snapping limbs and just steamrolling his way through people is pretty cathartic.

I forget what movie it was but I really like the payoff of the guy throwing the puppy out the window and him kicking his rear end at the end of the movie.

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!



Fun Shoe

B-Rock452 posted:

I kind of like that there is no back and forth with Seagal's fights, they always make his opponents just absolute scumbags (much like segal himself) so him snapping limbs and just steamrolling his way through people is pretty cathartic.

I forget what movie it was but I really like the payoff of the guy throwing the puppy out the window and him kicking his rear end at the end of the movie.

I mean yea it's cool and it's a major aspect of Seagal's success but you can accomplish both in the same movie. And not every action movie is created equal, it would've been nice to have a few Seagal movies where he goes up against another known star and actually has a legit back and forth exchange with them. But he was just never going to be able to play well with others, it wasn't in him to do that.

Maybe it's just a generational thing. Stallone and Arnold weren't exactly known for having small egos when it came to how their characters were presented either. Today's action stars seem to be much more generous towards each other, which is obvious when you watch the Scott Adkins interviews.

Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

Let your word be "Yes, Yes" or "No, No"; anything more than this comes from the evil one.




Yeah, Seagal rarely has a showdown with a badass villain in any of his films. The only one I can think of is Screwface from Marked for Death. The bad guy is usually a weasel in a business suit who just sends goons after him and is quickly humiliated when all the goons are out of the way. Like, Tommy Lee Jones and Henry Silva both pulled a knife on him and got their rear end kicked in less than a minute. I think the toughest legit martial artist he's had a fight scene with was Dan Inosanto, who was just like a Featured Mook.

A lot of it comes down to his skillset. If you watch aikido demonstrations on YouTube, it's always a bunch of guys coming at their teacher like they're so drunk they're about to fall over without being touched, and allowing themselves to be thrown. I don't think Seagal knew how to have a back-and-forth fight scene with another skilled martial artist. (I read another rumour about Seagal stating that his fight choreographer just gave up on trying to work with him. He'd propose an exchange like "So you throw this guy, and the other one comes up from behind and punches you, so" and Seagal would just cut him off and explain that there's an aikido technique that perfectly neutralizes that attack with no chance of failure so he wouldn't get hit.)

B-Rock452 posted:

I kind of like that there is no back and forth with Seagal's fights, they always make his opponents just absolute scumbags (much like segal himself) so him snapping limbs and just steamrolling his way through people is pretty cathartic.
It's a cool novelty but it does get old. For another example, Equilibrium is cool, Ultraviolet felt like a rehash of the same thing, and then Wimmer's directing career went off a cliff.

Also, this is a list of every character he played before his career stopped mattering:

Nico Toscani
Mason Storm
Casey Ryback
John Hatcher
Forrest Taft
Austin Travis
Jack Taggert
Orin Boyd
Frank Glass
Sasha Petrosevitch

Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Feb 26, 2021

B-Rock452
Jan 6, 2005




Oh yeah I definitely agree that it would get old and should preface that I have only actually seen 4 Steven Seagal movies. (Five if you count Executive Decision as one). But for those 4 his style works.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World


Basebf555 posted:

Maybe it's just a generational thing. Stallone and Arnold weren't exactly known for having small egos when it came to how their characters were presented either.

Rocky always got the piss beat out of him even when he won, and Arnold had a protracted fight with out of shape Australian Freddie Mercury at the end of Commando, somehow.

TheOmegaWalrus
Feb 3, 2007


Vernon Wells' perceived prowess against Arnold in his prime is just another delicious layer in the Commando cake.

Basebf555
Feb 29, 2008

The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!



Fun Shoe

sean10mm posted:

Rocky always got the piss beat out of him even when he won, and Arnold had a protracted fight with out of shape Australian Freddie Mercury at the end of Commando, somehow.

You're right, there's really no comparison.

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010
ASK ME ABOUT MY SELF-PUBLISHED WARHAMMER FANFICTION AND MY KNIFE COLLECTION


Commando absolutely rules since it's very clearly a comedy and Stallone, Norris and a few others all went 'ah, yes, this is something to emulate and tell a serious story with'

Arnie always had a sense of irony. There's a quote from him somewhere that he spent his whole career lampooning a character he never actually played.

Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

Let your word be "Yes, Yes" or "No, No"; anything more than this comes from the evil one.




Arnold always wins, but he spends a lot of time groaning and wailing in pain.

Megaman's Jockstrap
Jul 16, 2000

What a horrible thread to have a post.


Also to be fair to Commando, Matrix starts that final fight with only one usable arm.

The United States
Jul 18, 2004

Please grab the extinguisher


Melman v2

But he always knew how to let off some steam

TheOmegaWalrus
Feb 3, 2007


Arnold really was at his best when he was slaughtering mothers by the dozen with a smile on his chiseled face and a gleam in his eye.

brocked
Oct 25, 2005

All shall love me and despair!


Killian doctored that footage! Ben Richards refused to fire on those civilians!

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

TheOmegaWalrus posted:

Arnold really was at his best when he was slaughtering mothers by the dozen with a smile on his chiseled face and a gleam in his eye.

I forgot about that part of Kindergarten Cop.

Terror Sweat
Mar 15, 2009



Gonz posted:

That scene in John Wick 3 where it's just him and a bunch of other people throwing antique knives and axes and hatchets at each other in a narrow hallway is one of my favorite action movie fight sequences ever. So loving brutal. Right up there with The Raid 2's fight with Baseball Bat Boy and Hammer Girl.

You should watch The Night Comes for Us. Now that movie is brutal as hell and is from the raid guys. Hammer girl is a supporting character and has some crazy cool fights. Honestly the movie probably has the most original action scenes and brutality I've seen in a movie in the longest time

Hollismason
Jun 30, 2007

"Real life is messy, inconsistent, and it's seldom when anything ever really gets resolved."



What about Action Comedies because I am watching Shanghai Noon / Shanghai Knights with Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan they're reall good.

Think I'mma rent Rush Hour after this.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

SEXY... defines my posts and my ride


Terror Sweat posted:

You should watch The Night Comes for Us. Now that movie is brutal as hell and is from the raid guys. Hammer girl is a supporting character and has some crazy cool fights. Honestly the movie probably has the most original action scenes and brutality I've seen in a movie in the longest time
Just googled this 'cause I haven't seen it in a while and I had no idea the creators are hoping to make two sequels. I felt pretty spoiled seeing The Night Comes for Us before The Raid 2 honestly; I still loved it, but TNCFU felt... perfect somehow. Once I can have get-togethers again I desperately want to introduce some action movie fans to it.

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010
ASK ME ABOUT MY SELF-PUBLISHED WARHAMMER FANFICTION AND MY KNIFE COLLECTION


Martman posted:

Just googled this 'cause I haven't seen it in a while and I had no idea the creators are hoping to make two sequels. I felt pretty spoiled seeing The Night Comes for Us before The Raid 2 honestly; I still loved it, but TNCFU felt... perfect somehow. Once I can have get-togethers again I desperately want to introduce some action movie fans to it.

There were 4 weekends in a row where I showed the Raid and Raid 2 to four separate groups of friends. It's a great type of film to watch in groups.

Lurdiak
Feb 25, 2006

I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.




The Raid 2 is a great movie but it really should've been its own thing. They do connect it to the original film storywise but that's such a flimsy premise to make a completely different kind of movie starring the same actor. Like he's not even the same character 15 minutes into the movie, why even bother.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"


Just sit down one night and watch The Raid, The Raid 2 and Dredd.

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010
ASK ME ABOUT MY SELF-PUBLISHED WARHAMMER FANFICTION AND MY KNIFE COLLECTION


Lurdiak posted:

The Raid 2 is a great movie but it really should've been its own thing. They do connect it to the original film storywise but that's such a flimsy premise to make a completely different kind of movie starring the same actor. Like he's not even the same character 15 minutes into the movie, why even bother.

It's fun to watch 'Gangs of London' and count how many scenes, characters and plot elements were undoubtedly leftovers from the Raid 2.

Terror Sweat
Mar 15, 2009



Martman posted:

Just googled this 'cause I haven't seen it in a while and I had no idea the creators are hoping to make two sequels. I felt pretty spoiled seeing The Night Comes for Us before The Raid 2 honestly; I still loved it, but TNCFU felt... perfect somehow. Once I can have get-togethers again I desperately want to introduce some action movie fans to it.

How do you make a sequel to it lol

ynohtna
Feb 16, 2007

How does that sound?



Illegal Hen

Terror Sweat posted:

How do you make a sequel to it lol

Simple: introduce identical twins of the first film's main characters (they have opened a restaurant in New York city).

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Narzack
Sep 15, 2008


Also smash somebody's face into noodles, but since this is NCFU, it's noodles made of, like, nails and broken glass.

EDIT- If it's good enough for Woo, it's good enough for you.

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