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GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


SleepCousinDeath posted:

Skin Trade isn't that great but drat if this scene isn't effective

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JfO_Qpvtbo

You are wrong; Skin Trade is an awesome movie. Dolph Lundgren has almost learned to act! Starring He-Man, Robocop, Spawn, Hellboy, and . . .Tony.


Content: The Dead Lands (2014) is pretty cool. Does it belong here or the martial arts thread? Here's the trailer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKy7Q50tJ84

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GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


I watched all of the "making of" stuff for Rogue Nation. Cruise and the director admitted that they designed the action scenes first, and then built a plot around those. And Cruise demonstrated in front of the cast/crew that yes, he really can hold his breath for 6 minutes, and brought in the Army diving instructors to teach the leading lady how to do it, too. (And get a refresher course, himself. The man's insane, but not about safety.)

My review of the series is #1 has a plot, but by #3 it is all about this gleeful maniac doing crazy stunts. The stunts are definitely worth watching. I think I'll dust my copies off.

I know this is heresy to people who prefer the books, but I like Cruise in the Jack Reacher movies, too. He works really hard to make you forget that he isn't 6'4" and blond, does a bit more acting and a bit less "gleeful maniac" stuntwork. Lee Child has a cameo in each movie, too. Yes, I have a bunch of the books on my ereader, but I've only read 3 so far. Murder Hobo For Justice.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


I watched the "making of" features on the Bourne movies, and Greengrass said he used the shaky-cam to make the action as confusing for the viewer as (he thinks) it would be for someone it was actually happening to. The making-of thing has a shot from a little distance of the fight with the rolled-up magazines, and the choreography looked great. . . and you could see Greengrass with a fistfull of the cameraman's jacket, yanking him back and forth to mess up the shot.

In conclusion, shaky-cam makes me ill and Greengrass should be shot, or at least beaten to death by his cameraman, although some may disagree.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Megaman's Jockstrap posted:

XXX: Return of Xander Cage

They essentially Fast and Furious'd the franchise.

It's goofy nonsense and an absolute crowd-pandering movie and I loved it. The series has finally achieved it's potential and become a ensemble goofy rear end action movie with extreme-sports stuff in it. May they make many more. Bring on XXX 8: Too Cubed. (pun totally intentional)

I'm a bit leery of F&Fing, since VD has basically turned F&F8 into a live-action cartoon. . . but if they can rein in the cartoons and comic books, I'd love to see XXX launch some new action hero careers. All my old action heros are getting . . . 2Old2StoveUp.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


I saw Dances With Wolves and Waterworld a few million years ago, and didn't touch another Costner movie until recently (in the discount bin). Three Days To Kill is a bit goofy (spy with terminal cancer goes on last mission in return for drug that delays death for a bit, but also gives him seizures when it wears off). Criminal is less goofy, and he does a good job of being confused as hell (psycho prisoner gets brain-print from dying spy via computer, in hopes of getting location of the McGuffin; prisoner escapes but calls on phone when the spy-print starts showing up). I was pleasantly surprised. Not blockbuster material, but actual action movies with a lead who can act better than my hero, Dolph Lundgren. (Don't tell him I said that.)

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Snowman_McK posted:


Lundgren is so adorably self deprecating I really don't think he'd mind. He had that great quote, something like 'I was a movie star first, then I learned how to be an actor'

You're probably right. I swear that man was scientifically designed to push all my buttons, so he'd probably be humble-ish instead of an egomaniac.





Why do Manliness Scientists want to push my buttons???


Actually, he's older than I am. Oh god, was I scientifically designed to have buttons pushable by HIM????

GoodyTwoShoes fucked around with this message at 23:28 on Apr 5, 2018

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013



I need this. Mission Impossible plots may be iffy, but, man, those stunts.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


X-Ray Pecs posted:

Did Dolph have good movies? I like him in The Punisher and Universal Soldier, and Iím wondering if there are any good ones besides Rocky Iím missing.

Skin Trade, the Last Patrol, Sweepers (less punching, more land mines). It's kind of a toss-up, sometimes. Younger Dolph for better fighting, or old Dolph for almost knowing how to act?

Battle of the Damned is pure popcorn for the utter goofiness of it all.

Do not watch Detention. I love Dolph with all my popcorn*, and I still can't force myself to watch that one a second time. The only person who had any fun at all was the main villain, who got to chew the scenery.






* Yes, popcorn. When will he go full Godzilla and stomp a cardboard Tokyo????

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Remulak posted:

Detention is one of the best films of the decade. Also heís not in it.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0321997/

Bwahahahahah.

------------------
Johnny Mnemonic is cyberpunk, not strictly action. Well, it's cyberpunk up until the dolphin shows up, then it's Hollywood Wankery. If the dolphin had been a 45-yr-old human male in a wheelchair with all the wires permanently in his skull, or maybe routed through the stump of his legs, it would have stayed cyberpunk.

And I like it a lot more than the Matrix. :humph:

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Fart City posted:

Yeah, and not for nothing but basically all of the poo poo thatís in the movie - dolphin included - is straight out of William Gibsonís short story.

And if youíre gonna say Williams Gibson doesnít know cyberpunk, whoa nelly.

<updates reading list>

The dolphin still sucked.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


I think my favorite M:I stunt is in Rogue Nation, right after Cruise/Hunt has been drowned and resuscitated, and he tries to do a Dukes Of Hazard slide over the hood of the car, and he ends up going nose-first off the car. Just a little moment of not being Superman.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


I do all my shopping in the clearance bins. . . and I got Wolf Warrior 2! Oh, my god, the sped-up tanks ended up looking extremely cute instead of macho! And those magic missiles that only hit tanks and not buildings. "Don't kill the Chinese! China is on the UN Security Council!!!!"



Good scenery, too. I love when a movie actually gives us a view. American movies are all in the back lot of downtown Hollywood, so all you get is super-close-ups of the stars' faces. I miss the days when a close-up didn't cut off the top of the actor's head.

Okay, I'll quit babbling, now, and see if I can find Wolf Warrior 1.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Al Cu Ad Solte posted:

Soldier is such an underappreciated gem. It's that "lord forgive me, I got to go back to tha old me" but as a feature length movie. Kurt Russel kicks rear end. It's got Loreena McKinnet on the soundtrack and it somehow works. He shoots one (1) guy with a rocket launcher for no reason when shooting him would have worked just fine. The villains get got in such a satisfying way. It also has quite possibly the quickest Chekov's Gun, where we see the training montage in the beginning. Teenage Todd shoots through a fake hostage to get to the target behind it, and then like one fucken minute later he shoots an ACTUAL hostage to the target. Why did they even have the setup?? Who cares!

Also there's a bunch of cool references in Todd's service record:



Plissken Patch! MacCready Cross! The BFG!!!

I love Soldier.

I always like that Todd didn't do like all the other Repressed Super Soldier movies and suddenly become a well-spoken, well-adjusted person as soon as he wakes up on the trash planet. He stays a barely-verbal, PTSD-ridden mass of twitches.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Halloween Jack posted:

Of course, the beauty of exploitation film is that it's a melange of whatever's popular. So by the end of the 80s you had movies with cyborgs and mutants and psychics, doing "The Most Dangerous Game" in a Mad Max setting.

I would watch that, if they had a decent budget. I love Mad Max cars and chase-battles. Bring on the spikes!

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Hard Target 2 (Scott Adkins) is good because everyone involved loved the original. They even included some "John Woo Doves." Unfortunately, it takes place in Myanmar, so there is no warehouse full of Mardi Gras floats.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_Pu78CzSOw

Watched TheRaid2 last night, and thanks to this news item from a while back, my inner pedant kept ruining the aluminum bat fights/beatings because, oh horror, THEY DID NOT USE THE CORRECT PING!!!!!


Shut up, brain. Just enjoy the movie.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Does "Abduction" with Scott Adkins go here or in SciFi? There's an awful lot of punching for an alien abduction movie. And he did take his shirt off at one point, which is required for all action heros. Andy On, the co-hero, does not take his shirt off, but is sleeveless in one scene.


Before you all start ranting about homoeroticism, keep in mind that there are female action fans, as well as patient girlfriends of male action fans, who like a little scenery to look at. Equal opportunity sexism, since we can't get rid of regular sexism.

Anyway, SA wakes up in a Creepy Place, sneaks out, and finds himself in Ho Chi Mihn City, Vietnam, with such a bad stutter that he gets arrested for Being Indecipherable In Public while trying to get directions to the embassy. His daughter is missing, and he claims it was an alien abduction. While his shrink is looking around for clues, she meets Andy On in the park that SA started in. Sufficient weirdness occurs that she decides to introduce AO to SA, because AO's wife was abducted just that morning.

There are fights with cops, aliens, Russian gangsters, Vietnamese gangsters, and SA and AO fight each other. Lots of cheap CGI for the special effects, but it's better than the CGI in "Legendary." (Which the interviews assure me is a Family Movie, not action.) Cyberspiders with glowing, green thoraxes (thoraces?) are used by the aliens to control captives, and Feng Shui is derived from alien tech.

I enjoyed it. You might, too, if you have a good tolerance for CGI.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Blood Money (Zheng Liu) is a bit difficult with the thick accents, but it was fun. All explosions were a combo of CGI and green screen. The smoke in the opening fight is green-screened.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Found Ninja Assassin at my local Dollar Tree. I think I got my dollar's worth, despite the clash between "grim, serious acting" and "ludicrous amounts of red koolaid posing as blood." I'm pretty sure the big guy he killed in the men's room bled two persons' worth all by himself.

I watched the special feature about training Rain, a singer who dances a bit, into the exceedingly cut Raizo. The two comments that stood out to me were "he could be a real stuntman!" and "we kept having to redo the choreography because he kept getting better." Also, apparently the whole stunt crew (and Rain) trained 6 hours/day for 6 months.

I was also pleased that the damsel in distress managed to injure three ninjas. She shot one in the foot while he stood on her car's sunroof, whacked another with her bumper, and shot another during the finale. Damsels are usually limited to shooting a single bad guy.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Watched Sleepless (Jamie Foxx) this weekend. No martial arts, but lots of slug-fests, and a nice kitchen fight. Which brings me to my point: Are all kitchen fights fun? Has there been a bad kitchen fight? There's such a great variety of things to smash/throw/run into, that the choreographers can keep it going even with "just actors" instead of "fancy martial artists".

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Boco_T posted:




Wild Card (2015) - 2.5/5, Amazon Prime
An uneven, but very watchable 90 minute film. It's a movie about a washed up guy with gambling problems in Vegas, but a decision was made that since that guy is Jason Statham, the movie also needs Jason Statham action sequences. So Corey Yuen contributed three of them. They are awesome, and I love those kinds of scenes, but they are also out of place with the tone and pace of the rest of the movie.

I won't really remember this much after a while, but I did enjoy it while I was watching.

Triple Threat (2019) - 3/5, Netflix
Very complicated plot does a lot of heavy lifting to move the pieces into place and deliver a movie that is about the team of Tony Jaa, Tiger Chen, and Iko Uwais facing off against the evil foreigner team of Scott Adkins, Michael Jai White, and Michael Bisping.

The fights are very good, and the gun stuff is not too bad either. The story is indecipherable for much of the running time, but that's not what you're here for.

It's worth your time if you like to go to streaming services and say "what's Scott Adkins up to?"

Riot (2015) - 2.5/5, Netflix
The quality of films like these really has moved up compared to how they were in the 80s and 90s. This clearly had no budget but technological advances have made it into a very watchable film.

There are two or three too many subplots for a movie of this length but there's a lot to enjoy here. Dolph Lundgren's performance is great, Chuck Liddell doing a Russian accent is so excellently bad, Danielle Churchran was fantastic, and the CBR Stunt Team put together some excellent fights, especially the small room stuff.

The biggest drawback for me is that Matthew Reese didn't really do it for me, as an actor or a stunt performer.

I've seen these three. While I agree with you about Wild Card, I think Triple Threat and Riot deserve an extra star; Triple Threat because they specifically did NOT make it cartoonishly over-the-top, and Riot because not only did the people in the background of fights have choreography, even the ladies had decent choreography.

I also really enjoyed Lundgren attempting to be shy, and ending up looking like he had a neck injury, instead. <3

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Boco_T posted:

I should be clear regarding the ratings that I'm scoring these movies against actual good ones and thus leaving room on the scale for those. But when I sit down to watch an action movie that didn't come out in theaters and is less than 100 minutes, I consider anything 2.5 or above good+ and well worth my/your time. I am never unhappy giving one of these that score.

Gotcha. I avoid rating anything except action movies because . . . I'm enough of an action fan that I choose what to watch by how many things explode in the trailers. My reviews would be like "Schindler's List, one star, nothing happens but some paperwork".

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Boco_T posted:

El Gringo (2012) - 2/5, Amazon Prime
This is one that tests what the baseline score is for a movie with great stunts and fights, but almost nothing else to offer. It's 20 minutes too long, it's impossible to figure out why anything is happening, and it keeps doing things stylistically that approach being cool but never actually get there. None of the jokes are funny and there is zero reason for Christian Slater to be here, but you get like half an hour of real good quality Scott Adkins so you don't walk away with nothing.

I'm not sure if the "patching up the bleeding hero" scene is a prime example of "Hollywood First Aid" or if it's making fun of "Hollywood first aid" being as bad as "Hollywood CPR," but it was really annoying. Tourniquets instead of bandages, never going to the side the wound is on, never cleaning the area. At least they didn't remove a bullet that didn't need removing.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Boco_T posted:

Putting Scott Adkins and Dolph Lundgen in a PG-13 movie shaking my drat head

There is ONE punch thrown in the entire movie. I love both these guys, and all I got was a single punch.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


jojoinnit posted:

Our local English language action channel has decided to be on a Stallone kick this week for their nightly films so last night I watched Escape Plan and fell asleep during Escape Plan 2. 1 is forgettable as an action movie, but it's a good thriller and honestly the absolute best Arnold Schwarzenegger acting I've ever seen. He brings genuine humour and warmth and it's genuinely worth watching for that.

Escape Plan 2 I only saw the beginning but it had some really great Asian action work and sets. I didn't see Stallone for the 20 mins or so I was awake so I'm sure he ruins it by showing up soon as the 70 year old sausage casing he's aged into but has anyone seen 2 or 3 and can say how they are as action movies? 2 seemed to be going for a "fight club in prison" thing (I saw until he wakes up in the pit, beats the guy and earns "2 hours of relaxation time"). Dave Bautista hadn't shown up yet but I generally enjoy him too.

You're right in calling them actiony thrillers rather than straight action movies. The action is almost all during the actual escapes, but is decent once you get to it. Stallone mostly shoots stuff, these days, since he's 70. His character in these is all about being sneaky and smart, and backing it up with muscles, rather than old school Muscles First for problem solving.

Bautista does a bit more in #3, which also has Max Zhang as the featured guest star, so even more kung fu. They go to a creepy, real-but-abandoned prison for the set.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Boco_T posted:

I was excited for Cena in this, but I also watched it so that tomorrow I can watch 12 Rounds 2 which I was promised has an unhinged Randy Orton performance

12 Rounds 3: Lockdown actually has 12 bullets! Dean Ambrose stars.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


If we're adding action-comedies: The Bodyguard and The Bodyguard 2, starring Petchtai Wongkamlao, with cameo in each by Tony Jaa.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


I regret to inform you that "Cops and Robbers", starring Michael Jai White, is not an action movie. It's a crime drama about a bank heist. He doesn't throw a single punch.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


You're going to get names of actors, not specific movies, because there's just so much you will need to/love to watch. Donnie Yen, Jackie Chan, Wu Jing, Jet Li, Tony Jaa, Andy On, Andy Lau. . .

Great, now I want a series of shorts where all the great martial artists demonstrate their personal style of "percussive therapy" for chest congestion of covid patients.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Just favorites? Triple Threat (too many stars to fit into all the fights, but great), Triad Wars (Sammo Hung vs Wu Jing in the climax), seconding SPL2. Mile 22 has some great fights, if you can survive Mark Walburg With ADHD. Skin Trade has Tony Jaa, Michael Jai White, Lundgren, Ron Perlman, and guest appearance by Peter Weller.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


RestingB1tchFace posted:

Did Elysium actually get panned? I mean....it wasn't as acclaimed as Edge of Tomorrow. I'll have to check out the book.

Late reply to this whole conversation, not just you:

I'm pretty sure Official Movie Critics think every movie should be "Schindler's List," no matter what the actual genre is. Can you imagine if RomComs tried to meet that standard? SciFi has a hard enough time getting financed for films/special effects that don't suck too horribly, so they can very seldom afford both a script and the CGI. Getting two major actors into Elysium took a small miracle. (And I loved it, naturally.)

---------------------
Change of subject: "The Take Down," starring Jack Jacogda, which I am sure I just misspelled. He became a stuntman in his 30s, as far as I can tell from his tiny internet presence, and this was his try to move into acting in his possibly-40s. It's not bad. Plot is, of course, a trifle thin, as expectable for a new-actor movie. He does pretty good in most of his fights (lots!), but he was a foot taller than a couple of his opponents and you could see him being extremely gentle with them in a couple spots. He has a really pretty Polish accent, too. :<3:

Using BocoT's scale, 2 or so stars. Won't be a blockbuster, but worth checking out when stuck in a hotel during a blizzard.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Finally got a cheap-enough copy of Blooshot. Here is my review:

1. The CGI is as awesome as I thought it would be.
2. Two characters went on rants about how cliche things were being, which helped dilute the comic-bookness a little.

It was fun and silly and had a sufficient number of explosions. I laughed a lot. I would rate it as worth at least half of my $6 purchase, but not worth the $25 they wanted upon first release.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


I have no idea where the Fast & Furious 9 thread is (no archives, sorry), but VD posted the new trailer to facebook. If you like live-action cartoons, and always wanted Vin Diesel to do GI Joe Extreme, you might like it. There are magic electromagnets involved.

He is definitely a master of interacting with CGI properly. There will be many awesome CGI sequences in F&F9. But I was half-expecting him to do the "now you know" line.

GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


Got my copy of Russian Raid, yesterday. I kind of liked the more subdued sounds for the fisticuffs. I definitely liked the lady-in-white getting to slap the guy who grabbed her behind. (Guys like that should always get slapped for it.) It's been too long since I shot anything to say if I liked the subdued sounds for the gunfire.

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GoodyTwoShoes
Oct 26, 2013


I have to complain to somebody, so you guys are stuck with it.

JARHEAD #1 SUCKS AND SUCKS AND SUCKS FOR TWO STRAIGHT HOURS and oh god why did they make a entire movie about assholes becoming even worse and now BORED assholes and then being disappointed that they didn't get to kill anyone. That series-in-a-4-pack-case should really come with a warning to skip the first movie, instead of saying it's 4 action movies.

Thank you for your patience. You may now resume your discussion of Steven Segal vs Jamaican gangsters.

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