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Hi team, I'm off on holiday again in a few weeks and going through Singapore. I thought id share a little travel tip. If you ever go to the pay lounge there (T3) its the stall on the far right I poo poo in. After a big holiday and hours of dominating the buffet and open bar I needed the bathroom and knew it was going to be terrible. There were people in the bathroom so I went gently caress it and went to a shower stall as if that was my intent the whole time, and it probably was. Once in the shower and naked with the water running. I let loose. It loving stank a mix of liquid poo poo and a good sized log. I guess I was backed up. I waffle stomped that bad boy down the drain which was basically a pipe with a nice slot cover. However. The water level started to rise in the shower base. At that point im hosed. I cant just leave. The now horrible water is all over my feet + I'd get caught. So I had no choice but to pull the cover up and use my foot over the top, stomp in and out like a plunger. Meanwhile the shower itself is off as any more water and it would flood. It didn't work as the pipe was deeper under the cover i had to squat down and use my palms, one over the other, same as cpr. Eventually it started to slowly drain. I showered. poo poo again wearily (soup) and then spent 5 or so minutes after getting dressed listening at the door until I was sure of a traffic break to sneak out. Whole place reeked of rear end.
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Jul 30, 2017 16:55
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 07:48 |
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they shoulda caned you for this
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Jul 30, 2017 16:58
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I think in Singapore they give you the death penalty for this and only this
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Jul 30, 2017 16:59
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Neukoln19 posted:they shoulda caned you for this
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Jul 30, 2017 17:02
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Neukoln19 posted:they shoulda caned you for this
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Jul 30, 2017 17:03
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I am already reporting you to the appropriate authorities
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Jul 30, 2017 17:04
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also what was the tip
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Jul 30, 2017 17:05
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Cantaloupe posted:also what was the tip dont use the stall on the far right
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Jul 30, 2017 17:10
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Cantaloupe posted:also what was the tip You know which stall to avoid/head to, depending on your preference. I'd say there is a close to 100% chance there is a goon at Changi airport right now. You also have some bonus insight into the perils of lounge showers. People are gross man.
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Jul 30, 2017 17:10
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Wtf is a lounge shower
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Jul 30, 2017 17:11
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Aesop Poprock posted:Wtf is a lounge shower A place for a good gently caress and suck if you're an international businessman
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Jul 30, 2017 17:12
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rear end cobra posted:A place for a good gently caress and suck if you're an international businessman You must go to better ones than I do.
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Jul 30, 2017 17:33
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fist4jesus posted:You must go to better ones than I do. I was gonna say "no ones gonna gently caress the smelly poo poo boy" but there are probably a ton of people who would totally do that
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Jul 30, 2017 17:40
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Aesop Poprock posted:I was gonna say "no ones gonna gently caress the smelly poo poo boy" but there are probably a ton of people who would totally do that Pretty sassy from someone whos never been to a airport lounge. Aesop Poprock posted:Wtf is a lounge shower
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Jul 30, 2017 17:45
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fist4jesus posted:You must go to better ones than I do. Domestic flight lounges here in europe are mostly a collection of semen-encrusted bar stools around a flat soda dispenser.
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Jul 30, 2017 17:49
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Im confused, instead of pooping in the toilet, you pooped in the shower and then spent an hour playing with your poop?
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Jul 30, 2017 17:51
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ditty bout my clitty posted:Domestic flight lounges here in europe are mostly a collection of semen-encrusted bar stools around a flat soda dispenser. I cant speak for domestic. But the worst international one I've been to was Fiji (Nadi) and I still got loving wasted at the open bar, surprised they let me on the plane. They usually have food also, this one had a stale diy salad station. I find for international the 50-80 dollars is worth it as opposed to jerking off in the food court or trying to find a power point and a quiet spot near the gate. fist4jesus fucked around with this message at 17:58 on Jul 30, 2017 |
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Jul 30, 2017 17:56
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Singapore airport has a nice butterfly garden. Better them butts than your stanky rear end.
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Jul 30, 2017 18:00
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Pawn 17 posted:Im confused, instead of pooping in the toilet, you pooped in the shower and then spent an hour playing with your poop? I agree it seems counterproductive
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Jul 30, 2017 18:26
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Thank you for your service OP I am pressing F in respect
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Jul 30, 2017 18:51
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Neukoln19 posted:they shoulda caned you for this
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Jul 30, 2017 19:52
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that sounds like an unpleasant experience
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Jul 30, 2017 19:57
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i did not read this.
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Jul 30, 2017 20:06
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You should probably spray paint an apology outside of the shower stall to make amends. Face culture etc
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Jul 30, 2017 20:25
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BhindiBhaji Boogie posted:You should probably spray paint an apology outside of the shower stall to make amends. Face culture etc I'm there in transit for a day soon. Should I ask at the information desk what the most appropriate approach would be? Or just get drunk and wing it?
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Jul 30, 2017 21:24
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That is a hell of a story OP
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Jul 30, 2017 22:14
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Now tell us the one where you did this on a Greyhound.
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Jul 30, 2017 22:37
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This thread loving sucks fam
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Jul 30, 2017 22:38
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I like the versions where there's a girl involved and this all happens at her apartment, or the ones where the poster casually talks about making GBS threads in the shower like they always do but this time they missed when they went to chuck the turd in the toilet afterwards
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Jul 30, 2017 22:43
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fist4jesus posted:I find for international the 50-80 dollars is worth it as opposed to jerking off in the food court or trying to find a power point and a quiet spot near the gate. I'm always late after browsing the tax-free stores so I don't do much lounging around. I wonder if the lounges you need frequent flyer status to lounge in are more or less poo poo encrusted than the ones you get into by spending money.
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Jul 30, 2017 22:57
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Thanks for being a degenerate animal so I don't have to.
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Jul 31, 2017 02:37
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clone on the phone posted:Thanks for being a degenerate animal so I don't have to. Waffle stomping isn't a zero sum game, you're free to be as foul as you want.
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Jul 31, 2017 02:59
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Changi Airport used to be pretty nice. ditty bout my clitty posted:I'm always late after browsing the tax-free stores so I don't do much lounging around. I wonder if the lounges you need frequent flyer status to lounge in are more or less poo poo encrusted than the ones you get into by spending money. Varies by airport
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Jul 31, 2017 03:08
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chew some gum and spit it on the road op 
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Jul 31, 2017 07:43
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Jfc "waffle stomp"  
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Jul 31, 2017 07:47
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Skeleton Ape posted:I like the versions where there's a girl involved and this all happens at her apartment, or the ones where the poster casually talks about making GBS threads in the shower like they always do but this time they missed when they went to chuck the turd in the toilet afterwards Worst possible "date" ever...I don't even... Alright...I don't care if you guys believe me ... it's real. This is the the most embarassing thing that I've ever experienced... it was a horrible night for me.. and I'm sharing it with you guys because I don't want any of my misc brahs to have to go through this.. especially since it all could have been EASILY prevented. I have added MS paint images so that you have a better idea as to what happened. It's very long, but I'll do my best to recount all of the important details. no ****ing cliffs..... read it to save yourself from something like this... Anyway... If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed". Now at that point I felt like I had to take a sh!t, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation. Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and ****... I had to take take a sh!t really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date)... I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened). So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imagineable. I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the **** do I do? Which do I do first?? So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time! So then I'm like "fuk this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"... so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well... As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor... I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my rear end was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor. I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)... wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head: I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor.... At that point things get even worse... The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the drat bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom.... I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"... she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you??? At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!! I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet... At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???" I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it... she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door.. I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my rear end,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it. She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my rear end off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave. about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment. All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and **** in her bathtub???? This is ****ing retarded (yes mad). to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well **** that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one.... This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened. anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?
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Jul 31, 2017 19:25
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Who Is Paul Blart posted:Worst possible "date" ever...I don't even... Sir, please do not repost my personal blog entries on the something awful dot com forums.
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Jul 31, 2017 19:50
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next time poo poo in the butterfly garden or maybe the faux-irish-american-boston-diner that charges you nineteen american dollars for a fuckin heineken
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Jul 31, 2017 19:56
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not enough time to wait for a stall to open but enough time to move to the lounge shower, take off all your clothes, get them stowed away in a proper place so they wouldn't get wet, and get the shower running
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Jul 31, 2017 19:58
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 07:48 |
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op is shmorky
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Jul 31, 2017 19:59
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