Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
  • Locked thread
chin up everything sucks
Jan 29, 2012



DeathSandwich posted:

Sometimes you spend the entire rest of the scene vomiting uncontrollably.

Or magically pantsed in front of a zombie horde. Good times.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

IPlayVideoGames
Nov 28, 2004

I unironically like Anders as a character.


LGD posted:

Assuming this is you



Google searching for "fat wizard" wasn't coming up with anything good, so poo poo, it is now.

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Seriously?



LGD posted:

Assuming this is you



Split this picture between IPVG and Wiegieman and you've got some gold.

Grey Hunter
Oct 17, 2007

Your friendly croctopus overlord LP'er

MANMODE ME.

Whats the worst that can happen?

thatbastardken
Apr 23, 2010

"Because the time has come, well and truly come, for all peoples of our great country, for all citizens of our great commonwealth, for all Australians to come together and build a new future for our nation."

- Kevin Rudd



boatman?

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Seriously?



Grey Hunter, you are a Halfling Litigant. In a world where the undead kings of an ancient civilization gather their armies to settle ancient feuds to see who will lead far to the south, the forces of Chaos skirmish against one another until they are marshaled under the banner of a single warlord to the north, and the green tide of the orcs batters itself against the mountains to the west, there exists yet a greater evil that skulks in the shadows of the Empire and its neighbors: lawyers.

Grey Hunter
Oct 17, 2007

Your friendly croctopus overlord LP'er

Archibald Middlemoot. Halfling Litigator.



Archibald would love to be called Archie by his friends. But After the incident with the (terribly illegal) still, followed by his excellently carried case for the prosecution, he unfortunately has none left. (He did lobby the court against the death penalty, he’s not a monster.)

Of course, this left him less than 100% popular in his home, so with his name made, he decided that it was time to take his career on the road! His wandering had been long and arduous, with his time in Bretonnia teaching him much about their succession laws. He had been litigator in a number very minor of title claims.

Of course, to be someone in Bretonnia, you must know someone. Over the last year it has become clear to Archibald that to progress up the ranks, he will need to win favour with someone of the true nobility.
Unfortunately for him, it takes a lot to break social barriers, so here he is surrounded by people he would normally be trying to have hung, trying to look like he can carry his own.

Maybe they will need someone talking to death. That happened once.

pre:
Name:  Archibald Middlemoot. 
Race: Halfling
Career: Litigator

Character Profile
Primary   : | WS | BS | S  | T  | AG | INT | WP | FEL|
Starting  : | 26 | 37 | 24 | 20 | 41 | 24  | 34 | 32 |
Advances  : | 00 | 00 | 00 | 00 | 05 | 10  | 10 | 10 |
Taken     : | 00 | 00 | 00 | 00 | 00 | 10  | 00| 10 |
Gained    : | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -5  | -- | -- |
Current  : | 26 | 37 | 24 | 20 | 41 | 39  | 34 | 42 |

Secondary : | A  | W  | SB | TB | M  | MAG | IP | FP |
Starting  : | 1  | 10 | 2  | 2  | 4  | 0   | 0  | 2  |
Advances  : | 0  | 02 | -  | -  | -  | 0   | -  | -  |
Taken     : | 0  | 00 | -  | -  | -  | -   | 0  | -  |
Current   : | 1  | 10 | 2  | 2  | 4  | 0   | 0  | 2  |

Skills:
Academic knowledge (Genealogy/Heraldry)+10, Academic knowledge (Law),
 Charm,  Common knowledge (Halflings), Common knowledge (The Empire),
 Gossip, Haggle, Perception, Read/Write, Secret Language (Guild Tongue),
 Speak Language (Halfling), Speak Language (Reikspeil)+10, Trade (Cook)


Talents:
Night Vision, Etiquette, Public Speaking,
 Resistance to Chaos, Savvy, Specialist Weapon group (sling),
 Supernumerate. 

Armour - None

Weapons - Hand Weapon

Trappings: Book of Empire Laws, 
Writing Kit.
common clothing consisting of a shirt, breeches, and worn boots
a tattered cloak
a dagger tucked in a boot or belt
a sling bag or a backpack containing a blanket
a wooden tankard
a wooden cutlery set
a hand weapon (axe, club, sword, etc.) 
7 Gold. 

Career Exits: Agitator, Demagogue, Guild Master, Merchant, Politician, 

XP + Advances:
Int +5 (free)
Int +5 (free)
Fel +5 (free)
Fel +5 (free)


Characteristics (Mercy taken on the 5 for AG)
Wounds, Fate:
Random Talents:
Gold:

sullat
Jan 8, 2012


Manmode me please.

Gangsta Boogie
Jan 16, 2006


Manmode me.

IPlayVideoGames
Nov 28, 2004

I unironically like Anders as a character.


Johann Oehlenschläger



Johann was pretty sure he finally made it. It wasn't that cleaning the master's socks and smallclothes and chamberpot and shoes and every other little thing that he may want cleaned wasn't fulfilling work (it wasn't), but after seeing the deaths and burnouts of such a large number of the other apprentices crammed into the barracks with him, he had begun to lose faith. At least until the day that the Master told him to pack his few things and get ready to travel to Bretonnia. Was he to become a journeyman? Well, no. Master was quite clear on that point. Johann simply wasn't ready! But he was still assured that if he were to be taken by the elves while in Bretonnia, he would be doing the Gold College a great service for some unknown reason, and on top of that if he were to somehow survive and make it back, well - maybe they'd discuss teaching Johann some -real- magic.

How hard could that be?

pre:
Name: Johann Oehlenschläger
Race: Human
Career: Apprentice Wizard

31 WS, 28 BS, 28 S, 32 T, 30 Ag, 37 Int,
48 WP, 32 Fel, 1 A, 11 W, 2 F, 1 Mag

Skills: Magic Knowledge, Channeling, Magical Sense, Perception,
Common Empire Knowledge, Gossip, Read/Write, Search,
Speak Language (Magic, Classial, Not-German)

Talents: Suave, Super Numerate, Aethyric Attunement, Petty Magic, Very Resilient

Advances:
+1 Mag, +5 WP, +5 WP, +1 W

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Seriously?



sullat, you are a Dwarven Protagonist.Some problems require finesse, cunning, and a delicate application of tact and subterfuge. You likely have no clue what any of those words mean since you are generally hired to punch people and scare the everloving poo poo out of them. They say if you love what you do you'll never work a day in your life, and buddy, you're on permanent paid vacation.


Gangsta Boogie, you are a Dwarven Mercenary. Of every other application here you have literally the most mundane possible job in the Old World. I mean, at least the protagonist fights people because he's a malicious jackass who can only get an erection when he's making someone's life hell. You literally just get paid for loyalty and the ability to swing a sword or fire a gun.





These will be the last two manmodes I roll up for this thread, guys! Thanks for all the interest; I'm going to give these two most of Sunday to throw something together since I didn't get to them until late.

sullat
Jan 8, 2012


Sarvesh Vetordeler


What you lookin' at, umgi? Oh, nuffin? A hundred generations of dwarfkin, amountin' to nuffin? I comes here, ta teach you children tha secrets of dwarfken, and ya insults me like this? I don't care, your name is nuffin, you children barely know how to walk, and..."

The young noble reached for his sword, which was his first most recent mistake. Sarvesh's tankard of ale hit him in the face before the sword was out. As the noble staggered back, Sarvesh kicked his feet out from under him. The man fell. Sarvesh walked over to him, casually stepping on the man's sword hand. He couldn't feel it through his heavy boots, but from the man's scream he knew a bone or three was broken. "By my beard, umgi, you insulted my name! My honor! My ancestors are shamed to see me treated like this!" He punctuated this with a few vicious kicks to the fallen man's ribs. By then the man's drinking companions had recovered from their shock, and advanced on Sarvesh, swords drawn. He spat on the fallen man, and then turned and fled. True to his word, the barkeep had had his horse saddled and at the ready, and a purse of crowns in the saddlebags. The whole 'dwarven honor' shtick amused him, and these humans didn't know any better. But still, after beating up the local lord's youngest son, it were best he moved on. Word was some bigshot noble needed some muscle a few towns over.

pre:
Name:  Sarvesh Vetordeler
Race:  Dwarf
Career: Protagonist

Physical Characteristics
--------------------------
Height:  4'11”
Weight: 155 lbs.
Hair Color: Red
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Distinguishing Marks: Tattoo

Character Profile

Primary   : | WS | BS | S  | T  | AG | INT | WP | FEL |
Starting  : | 45 | 31 | 35 | 43 | 21 | 28  | 29 | 21  |
Advance   : | 10 | -- | 10 | -- | 10 | --  | 05 | --  | 
Taken     : | 10 | -- | 05 | -- | -- | --  | -- | --  |
Current   : | 55 | 31 | 40 | 43 | 21 | 28  | 29 | 21  |

Secondary : | A |  W | SB | TB | M | MAG | IP | FP  |
Starting  : | 1 | 12 |  3 |  4 | 3 |  -  | -  |  2  |
Advance   : | 1 | 02 |  - |  - | - |  -  | -  |  -  |
Taken     : | 1 | -- |  - |  - | - |  -  | -  |  -  |
Current   : | 2 | 12 |  3 |  4 | 3 |  -  | -  |  2  |

Skills:
Common Knowledge (Dwarfs)
Dodge Blow
Gossip
Intimidate
Ride
Speak Language (Khazalid, Reikspeil)
Trade (Smith)

Talents
Dwarfcraft
Grudge-born Fury
Night Vision
Resistance to Magic
Stout-Hearted
Sturdy
Quick Draw
Menacing 
Street Fighting
Strike Mighty Blow
Strike to Injure
Strike to Stun

Trappings:

Medium Armour (Mail Shirt and Leather Jack)
Shield
Riding Horse with Saddle and Harness 
common clothing consisting of a shirt, breeches, and worn boots
a tattered cloak
a dagger tucked in a boot or belt
a sling bag or a backpack containing a blanket
a wooden tankard
a wooden cutlery set
a hand weapon (axe.)
13 gc

Career Exits:
Duellist, Ex-Convict, Pit Fighter, Racketeer, Thief, Thug


Advances:
+5 WS x2
+5 Str
+1 Atk

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Seriously?



Alright! Picks have been made and the OP will be up later on tonight. Here's our cast:

Sormus, as Greyleaf the Elven Thug
LGD as Skag the Beardless, Dwarven Troll Slayer
Werix as Jotunn Heavy-Hand, Dwarven Outlaw
Grey Hunter as Archibald Middlemoot, Halfling Attorney
Wiegieman as Henri de Vienne, Stereotypical Knight Errant
McClay as Gunnbjorn Magnusson, Norscan Berserker
and Tricky as Cat Hobberry-Patch, Halfling Hunter

It was really loving hard to just pick even seven and I could have easily taken eight or nine people but it'd be a clusterfuck any higher than this. Thanks so much for all the interest and while I hope no one drops, I've got some people in mind who can slip in if such a thing happens!

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Seriously?



https://forums.somethingawful.com/s...hreadid=3830270 WE'RE DOIN' IT LIVE

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Seriously?



Here's some important information for your trip through Bretonnia.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


I just read through the Mousillion book and I'm eager to see how you guys handle this place/ who gets to return.
Good luck and have fun.

E: just realised that my username sounds like something that might wait in the swamps of the barony.

By popular demand fucked around with this message at Aug 20, 2017 around 17:46

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Seriously?



Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

I just read through the Mousillion book and I'm eager to see how you guys handle this place/ who gets to return.
Good luck and have fun.

E: just realised that my username sounds like something that might wait in the swamps of the barony.

I first read it up to the pig feud and I went, 'Yes. This is the game I need to run. My players need to settle a feud over a pig. This is important heroic business they must work through.'

Werix
Sep 13, 2012

#acolyte GM of 2013

Yeah, haven't read anything posted yet, but I'll be home from gen con tomorrow and I'll try to catch up as Jotunn snaps out of a daydream.

I hope We're arguing with peasants about pigs.

Sormus
Jul 24, 2007

PREVENT SPACE-AIDS
sanitize your lovebot
between users


Im trying my best to be the elfiest elf who ever elfed

wiegieman
Apr 22, 2010


Royalty is a continuous cutting motion


I just want to point out that these villages are named "stinker" and "spitter".

Sormus
Jul 24, 2007

PREVENT SPACE-AIDS
sanitize your lovebot
between users


Henri talks to villagers, pt 1
code:

WOMAN : Well, how did you become king then? 

ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, [angels start singing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king! 

DENNIS: Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. 

ARTHUR: Be quiet! 

DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you! 

ARTHUR: Shut up! 

DENNIS: I mean, if I went around saying, "I was an emperor just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me" they'd put me away! 

ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up! 

DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. 

ARTHUR: Shut up! 

DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed! 

ARTHUR: Bloody peasant! 

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Everybody's subconscious posted:

it's gonna get worse

mcclay
Jul 8, 2013

Oh dear oh gosh oh darn


Soiled Meat

Gunnbjorn preferred the undead to this poo poo.

Grey Hunter
Oct 17, 2007

Your friendly croctopus overlord LP'er

Hey, at least they aren't eyeing you up for a swinger party tonight....

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


C'mon guys, this is probably the best offer you'll get anytime soon.
Just plug your nose and close your eyes.

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Seriously?



[15:19] <&Sormus> Dyne: making GBS threads on Peasants is the best game
[15:28] <~Dyne> giving you a chance to do worse Sormus
[15:31] <&Sormus> Dyne: Cut down apple trees, kill the pig, salt the earth
[15:35] <~Dyne> the peasants offer you first bite of the apples
[15:36] <&Sormus> *scowls at an apple* "The elvish apples are so much better"
[15:36] <~Dyne> trust me the book gives an exact description of how these apples should taste and i enhanced it

This section, where the players are tasked to be diplomatic with the lovely peasants over their horrible garbage apples, was practically written for a PC like Greyleaf.

It suggests the players take a toughness test to not immediately gag at the taste of the apples, which 'are the worst tasting apples the player has ever tasted, taking into account that they may have even eaten a rotten apple before.' A massive failure is supposed to cause vomiting, which obviously ruins any chances at not offending Marfe.

Also:

[15:39] <Sormus> what do i test to try to scam others into eating them?
[15:39] <Sormus> "OH man, these apples are just divine"
[15:39] <Sormus> *tap B to hold down vomit*
[15:39] <Dyne> i knew you'd ask that

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


I'll give you guys a freebie:
"You know, those apples would be just perfect for distilled cider"
historically good use of horrid apples

Sormus
Jul 24, 2007

PREVENT SPACE-AIDS
sanitize your lovebot
between users


If i have to suffer these apples, i'm making everyone suffer them with me

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Seriously?



Sormus posted:

If i have to suffer these apples, i'm making everyone suffer them with me

I made him test toughness, willpower, AND fellowship to not give it away and bullshit everyone. Amazingly he passed everything.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


best elf

Grey Hunter
Oct 17, 2007

Your friendly croctopus overlord LP'er

I'm assuming that Archibald, being a halfling, will not be eating or drinking ANYTHING that is not from his own personal stores.

He will also be trying to look down the local well for any suspicious glowing green lumps of stone. I've got a real Colour out of Space vibe going on here.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Starting to count the time until the party realises that what happens in Mousillion stays in n Mousillion and slaughters all the peasants.

wiegieman
Apr 22, 2010


Royalty is a continuous cutting motion


Henri is literally wondering why we can't just beat it out of them. They're peasants who aren't jumping to obey a lord.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


"Dennis drowned slowly, the dwarf forcefully standing on his neck, and his cries of 'help I'm being repressed' only served to fill his lungs with stinking swamp water."

Werix
Sep 13, 2012

#acolyte GM of 2013

wiegieman posted:

Henri is literally wondering why we can't just beat it out of them. They're peasants who aren't jumping to obey a lord.

For enough coin Jotunn will help you out there.

Also settle down dyne. I'm not the player who is going to go traipsing off by himself. I know the train that we're on, and I'm not going to derail it.

I'm just role-playing the mercenary I've decided to make Jotunn after trying to figure out what to really do with that outlaw background. (And that is to go the veteran mercenary route.) He's an outlaw in part from dwarf customs. Screw honor, give me gold.

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Seriously?



It was more of a general statement to everyone, not just you, so simmer down, stunty. You guys aren't locked in to helping these guys and might find more help elsewhere if you don't want to deal with the pig.

Though Jotunn of all people should recognize you can't get somethin' for nothin' and that everyone has a price. Their price just happens to be the kidnapping and/or death of a rival poo poo village's pig.

Werix
Sep 13, 2012

#acolyte GM of 2013

John Dyne posted:

It was more of a general statement to everyone, not just you, so simmer down, stunty. You guys aren't locked in to helping these guys and might find more help elsewhere if you don't want to deal with the pig.

Though Jotunn of all people should recognize you can't get somethin' for nothin' and that everyone has a price. Their price just happens to be the kidnapping and/or death of a rival poo poo village's pig.

He's taking more issue with the might get something part. If Marfe had said, "yep, I saw what direction that bleeding thief went, and I'll tell you for killing a pig! " Jotunn would be dreaming of bacon and pulled pork.

Sormus
Jul 24, 2007

PREVENT SPACE-AIDS
sanitize your lovebot
between users


If they are going to get around to telling us where the Le Beau is I'm going to shoot the pig anyway. Just so we can try to pin the blame on the another village and have them kill each other.

John Dyne
Jul 3, 2005

Well, fuck. Seriously?




Do you pursue Le Beau?
>Y / N

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Sormus
Jul 24, 2007

PREVENT SPACE-AIDS
sanitize your lovebot
between users


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCdn0zg6NDM

  • Locked thread