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MMAgCh
Aug 15, 2001
I am the poet,
The prophet of the pit
Like a hollow-point bullet
Straight to the head
I never missed...you

Full Stop
1 Edg, 3 PP

“As I am suspicious of anyone who would see fit to mine a road out in the middle of nowhere,” she says, but puts up her rifle all the same until it is needed in earnest.

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grassy gnoll
Aug 27, 2006

The pawsting business is tough work.

Fan of Britches

Jinx
Edge: 2/2 PP: 3/3+1


"I'm pretty sure this is just a local custom," Jinx offers. "Like bringing someone a casserole when they move in to your neighborhood. Just, you know, Australian."

Axe-man
Apr 16, 2005

The product of hundreds of hours of scientific investigation and research.

The perfect meatball.


Clapping Larry

Wrangler Hax
EDG: 2/2 PP: 4/5


"I'm not sure they will deal with us, might just keep the source of food for themselves. poo poo man." Wrangler hangs his head thumbing his smartlinked pistol handle on its holster and staring out the trashed windshield. The drone on top of the cab closes up and freezes for the moment.

Atlatl
Jan 2, 2008

Art thou doubting
your best bro?


Monster
EDG: 3/3 PP: 2/5

"Jesus, chill out with that stuff. They're not totally non-functional sociopaths like ourselves. That would just be bad for business out here."

Robodog
Oct 22, 2004

...how does that work?


Unlike the truck and attached cows, the approaching vehicle seems made for racing across the sands. In next to no time it has closed the distance and pulled up about ten or so metres out from the truck and cargo. There looks to be at least two people on the outrider, one in the drivers seat and one in the back manning a large-calibre gun of some kind, but they were anybody else they were staying unseen inside the vehicle. If it did come down to a shootout, it looked on the surface to be in your favour. Both the driver and gunner were totally obscured, covered in dark rags and thick goggles presumably to guard against the desert because they were utterly covered in dust and sand.

There is a loud screeching as a loudhailer powers up from the other car. "You the lot with them moo-moos?" A lackadaisical male voice asks rhetorically over the speaker. "Now, just t'warn youse. Any funny gently caress try t'touch a gun an' Plugger there will light ya up light a Christmas tree." The driver seems to make a rough gesture behind him, presumably to the gunner at the rear. "An' with that outta the way, follow us." He instructs, the outrider turning around in a large circle and heading back the way it came. "Keep close behind, yeah? Mines'll turn back on after us an' I'm bettin' none of youse wanna go drivin' through them." He chuckles out, the hailer squealing again as it powers off and the truck leads you towards their base.

It seems unlikely that, on their own, anybody would find this place. For one, it is off the main dirt road. Which seemed to be heavily guarded and mined so anybody just driving along it assuming it went somewhere would probably just explode at some point. So in a way, you are all quite lucky you got picked up and shown the way like this. The escort says nothing else along the journey, which is shorter than one might expect. But it was probably a matter of knowing where you were going over just a sheer tyranny of distance.



It has to be said, this looked like a junkyard. The walls were cobbled together with old chainlink and junk, and burnt-out wrecks littered the outskirts. Many of them looked relatively recent, and the smell of burning diesel was as heavy on the air as dirt and the sand were. As you follow the escort into the base proper, perimeter guards seemed thin. But they managed to spot the truck, you, and the cows all the way out there so there had to be more to this than just what the shabby appearances implied.

The road passes in-front of the main compound building, and the escort vehicle stops. The loudhailer screeches on again. "End of the line, mates. Kill that engine, thanks." He says, as a couple of guards approach the truck. These guards, unlike the ramshackle surrounds and those in the outrider, looked well equiped and relatively clean despite the constant sand and their hodgepodge outpost. Though they all have weapons, some perhaps local make of assault rifle, they were kept lazily at the sides. Nothing so far seemed overly hostile.



"Alright. You the buggers with the cows?" The lead guard asks, kicking the trailer with the cows in it. From his voice, it seemed this was the man that Monster was talking with over the radio. Or somebody who sounded pretty drat close to him, at any rate. "We're Perth Customs. Nothin' gets in or out of the city without us clearin' it first. I assume whoever the gently caress sent a truck full of bloody Yanks this way didn't bother to say poo poo about that t'ya all?" Even with most of his features obscured by his helmet and goggles, you can tell he already hates having to deal with this poo poo today. "Okay, well we gotta check the cargo. So open up t'back and let's see the cows." He sighs.

He fellow guard seems more preoccupied with making sure all of you stay in line and don't try to pull any fast ones. But her eyes stop when she hits upon Jinx. "Fucken hell, you're a big bitch." Her keen eyes observe. "Your mum muck about with a troll or what?"

grassy gnoll
Aug 27, 2006

The pawsting business is tough work.

Fan of Britches

Jinx
Edge: 2/2 PP: 3/3+1


"Just good, clean, Midwestern living," Jinx says, completely straight.

MMAgCh
Aug 15, 2001
I am the poet,
The prophet of the pit
Like a hollow-point bullet
Straight to the head
I never missed...you

Full Stop
1 Edg, 3 PP

And now I am being lumped in with the Americans. Full Stop sighs, but chooses not to correct the misconception. She has a hunch these folks don’t give a gently caress, to use their own colourful language.

Instead the troll holds her peace and silently sizes up those Perth Customs people. Are they professionals, or highwaymen, or professional highwaymen? Military maybe? Or just Australian yokels with guns and an inflated opinion of themselves? There’s quite a bit of useful information to be gleaned from simply watching someone closely. Their bearing and positioning, the way they handle their weapons, how mindful they are of their surroundings – the life one has lived and the experiences one has made necessarily inform one’s behaviour and overall modus operandi.

After all, should push come to shove and these people need shooting, Full Stop would quite like to know what to expect ahead of time.

Perception (sizing 'em up): 12d6t5 5 hits!

Platonicsolid
Nov 17, 2008



Joanna

Oooh, nice armor. Very tempting. Might have to get my hands on that when we book....

...no, no, be good. Anyway, these guys seem to have their poo poo together. Bad news is hard to rob them blind. Good news, they probably won't fly off the handle or get twitchy over any little moo.

I hop down from the cab and saunter towards the guard, just as calm and chill as you please. "You couldn't tell from the smell?" I ask, making a show of holding my nose. "Don't start a stampede. Had a rough ride ad nothing's dangerous as cranky beef." I give a nod to Full Stop and Jinx - hey, if the Guard's crushing on Jinx, he might be a little less careful.

"C'mon, sooner we do this sooner we get paid and hit the pub."

Atlatl
Jan 2, 2008

Art thou doubting
your best bro?


Monster
EDG: 3/3 PP: 2/5

"Yeah. Didn't get told poo poo," Lia confirms the guard's suspicions.

She idly scans her surroundings from the driver's seat with a bored expression, though inside she was on the verge of a panic attack. She comes on over secure subvocal. "Did anyone check to make sure we weren't smuggling something else with us?"

MMAgCh
Aug 15, 2001
I am the poet,
The prophet of the pit
Like a hollow-point bullet
Straight to the head
I never missed...you

Full Stop
1 Edg, 3 PP

“I did not,” Veronika murmurs back. “Too many ill-tempered cows inside the trailer.”

Robodog
Oct 22, 2004

...how does that work?


The guard smirks at Jinx's plain reply. "Heh. Midwest, huh? Sounds like my kinda place." She turns her attention to the head guard, who sounded like he was the man on the radio earlier. "Permission to visit the Midwest for a study tour, colonel?" He doesn't seem to really be in a chirpy mood. Even through his mask and helmet, you can all here him sigh heavily. "Hell no. Do you even know where the Midwest is? UCAS?" Before there is a chance to reply, he waves a hand. "Fucken forget it, just shut up."

Having come from a military background herself, Full Stop had something of an eye for picking out fellow soldiers. Even if they were not wearing a proper uniform, or in this case saying they were just custom officers. Judging from the way this guard was talking, they were in rank even if they were somewhat lax about traditional military discipline and respect for the chain of command. That could just be chalked up to the fact that they were out on the frontier with basically next to nothing around them, and whatever superiors being possibly a couple thousand miles away. But there was a way that these two held themselves that said to her 'military'. Guns at the ready but finger discipline held. Uniforms dusted up and scruffy from the sun and desert, but still kept in relatively neat and clean condition. Posture seemed ready to fall into action at the drop of a hat. Also, calling the head guard just before 'colonel'. No raider worth their salt would rank themselves a colonel. Captain, sergeant, general maybe sure. But colonel? It didn't sound good, nobody is going to be frightened or intimidated by colonel anything.

With Jo and Lia giving assurances that they were just hauling walking beef, the man in charge shrugs. "Yeah, figured. Even if all this crap is above board, you're gonna have a shedload of paperwork t'do t'move anything like this into Perth proper." He shakes his head at the mounting workload that just dropped on his lap. "I bet you don't even got a point of origin declaration, do you? Have'ta check against the god drat digital brand database to make sure they're not rustled. Have better things t'do then look after cows today, you bloody arseholes."

After a moment, he claps his fellow guard on the shoulder and turns around. "What's that, corporal? Volunteering for cow duty? Good on ya." Dutifully kicking poo poo downhill, he starts to head back into the compound. "What? Fuckin' drat it." She seems to know just how futile it is to get out of the job, so with a sigh she leaves her gun dangling on the shoulder strap and nods to Jinx. "Alright then, Midwest. Open up. Let's see those cows."

Bit slow, deadlines and killer migraines are a bit of a bad combo. But let's kick things into spicy!

grassy gnoll
Aug 27, 2006

The pawsting business is tough work.

Fan of Britches

Jinx
Edge: 2/2 PP: 3/3+1


Jinx takes comfort in the knowledge that she outranks this poor Aussie, if nothing else.

"Here you go," she says, opening up the trailer.

I bet it's not cows.

Atlatl
Jan 2, 2008

Art thou doubting
your best bro?


Monster
EDG: 3/3 PP: 2/5

"Are you ignoring me? Somebody say something!"

Yelling over subvocal tends to defeat the purpose a bit.

Robodog
Oct 22, 2004

...how does that work?


Dutifully, Jinx cracks open the rusty handle and throws open the trailer door for the guard to inspect their cargo. Was it just cows? Fresh dairy waiting to get milked? Beef just standing there waiting to get made into steaks? Were they actually hauling drugs disguised in weird cow shaped boxes or something?

Jinx sure as hell didn't know, because as soon as she freed the lock and opened the trailer up the cows all together freaked the gently caress out and charged towards their freedom.

hey gnoll, gimmie a STR+STR test to avoid getting flattened by a stampede!

grassy gnoll
Aug 27, 2006

The pawsting business is tough work.

Fan of Britches

Jinx
Edge: 2/2 PP: 3/3+1


"Whoops," Jinx says, and shoves back against a couple tons of angry hamburger.

Will six hits do it?

Robodog
Oct 22, 2004

...how does that work?


Being Australian, these cows have probably seen some real poo poo. But they've never had to come up against a troll sized elf before. As the herd rams into Jinx, Jinx pushes back. And somehow holds her own, solo against the entire trailer full of freaked out cows. Probably wasn't a conventional measure of strength, but it looked pretty drat impressive.

"Bugger me." The guard, staying well out of the way, seems a little in awe at the cow wrangling skills put on display. "Um, poo poo! Close the bloody doors before they run off!" She gets on top of the situation, shouting at you all (except Jinx, obviously, she was already doing her part) as she dashes to one side of the trailer. She slams her whole body against the door to try and close it. But it was pretty clear that the guard wasn't quite as strong as Jinx.

MMAgCh
Aug 15, 2001
I am the poet,
The prophet of the pit
Like a hollow-point bullet
Straight to the head
I never missed...you

Full Stop
1 Edg, 3 PP

She stifles a sigh and clambers off the trailer to add her bulk to the ongoing bovine containment effort.

STR+STR (struggling with the cows): 10d6t5 5 hits!

Platonicsolid
Nov 17, 2008



Joanna

This is....so not her area. "Uh, good beef containment!" she says over the subvocal. She turns and flashes a smile at the man in charge. "Make sure your include the damage claim form in that stack of paperwork."

Robodog
Oct 22, 2004

...how does that work?


Turns out the troll was exactly what the recipe needed. Throwing her bulk into the mix, Full Stop pushes back against the bovine hoard and the checkpoint guard manages to close and lock the door. But the cows, having had a taste of freedom, are unrelenting. They keep charging against the trailer door. And the trailer was not the most sturdy thing ever hammered together out of scrap, and before long the door was beginning to buckle.

The guard doesn't seem too impressed, and she goes for her gun. "Bloody hell!" She looks between to two hulking runners. "Well!? If they break out we're going to have bloody bedlam here! Sort it out!" She orders them, or somebody else, really anybody at all to get this poo poo locked down already. "Either you calm those bastards down or I'm puttin' them down, got it?" Because it is a cool thing to do and it punctuates her point, she cocks her gun. "Think I give a poo poo about whatever bloke paid you for this poo poo? Not havin' a bunch of crazy drat cows running free!" She drops her ultimatum.

MMAgCh
Aug 15, 2001
I am the poet,
The prophet of the pit
Like a hollow-point bullet
Straight to the head
I never missed...you

Full Stop
1 Edg, 3 PP

Putting her back against the trailer doors and feeling them slowly deform under the cows’ incessant battering, Full Stop gives the guard a look. There’s neither menace nor friendliness in it; it’s simply a look, as plain as they come. “I recommend against shooting the cows,” she finally says. “Regardless of who ends up with them, these animals are too valuable to shoot dead.” That’s true back home, at least. Maybe Australia is different, but even so she can’t imagine that cows are a dime a dozen here. Perhaps such pecuniary considerations will make the woman see sense.

“Are there any…cow whisperers among you?” the troll subvocalises meanwhile. “Or, failing that, someone with an idea how to render them otherwise docile? This is going in an undesirable direction. If they break out of the trailer we will have quite a mess on our hands.” The precise nature of that mess goes unmentioned, though; she might be talking about getting the cows back into the trailer, or she might be talking about defending them against these customs people. It’s just that kind of day.

Atlatl
Jan 2, 2008

Art thou doubting
your best bro?


Monster
EDG: 3/3 PP: 2/5

Monster hops down from the cab and marches to the back of the trailer just in time to hear Full Stop's question. "You want me to stun them?" She asks, obviously unhappy with the whole situation. "Lemme at 'em, I stun them into unconsciousness. Guy never said anything about them being awake when they get there, right?"

She climbs the side of the trailer and peeks in through one of the windows, waiting for someone to stop her.

MMAgCh
Aug 15, 2001
I am the poet,
The prophet of the pit
Like a hollow-point bullet
Straight to the head
I never missed...you

Full Stop
1 Edg, 3 PP

“Stun?” she repeats, mildly perplexed. A brief mental image of the small, angry woman yelling the ruminants into submission presents itself, but ultimately proves unhelpful. The troll sniffs resignedly, though it’s little more than an indistinct crackling noise over the sub-vocal comms. “As long as they are going to be okay in the long run…go ahead. Stun away.”

Veronika wonders if she is going to regret saying that.

grassy gnoll
Aug 27, 2006

The pawsting business is tough work.

Fan of Britches

Jinx
Edge: 2/2 PP: 3/3+1


Jinx continues to stand in the way of a herd of cows, eagerly anticipating the next development in the field of cattle wrangling.

Atlatl
Jan 2, 2008

Art thou doubting
your best bro?


Monster
EDG: 3/3 PP: 2/5

Monster looks at the others, then at the cows. It's at this point that she realizes that she doesn't know how to use a stunball without Raven's boon. Anxiety was terrible for the memory. She stares at the others with a perfectly stony poker face. She could die of embarrassment. Wasn't someone supposed to stop her? Were they all condoning violence against innocent animals? What a bunch of awful people. It was too late now, though. Her inadvertent bluff had been called. Did mind control even work on cows?

gently caress it.

She turns to the cows and shoves the sternest knife-hand she can conjure up through the bars. "Hey! Cut that out! Calm down!"

The cows slowly come to a stop. There's an unsettling air about the whole thing; it was hateful and unnatural. Monster tries to look away in an attempt to hide the soft red glow of her eyes from the crowd. Not that it mattered much, as the warping mana caused the air to shimmer around her ever so slightly. Any more effort and it might become a little too noticeable. Casting tells were awful things.

"Lay the gently caress down and don't even think about moving!" The trailer rocks gently as the lay in place and behave themselves.

Monster remains hanging awkwardly in the window, afraid to break line of sight from the bovines and unsure of what to say.

5:35:56 PM Atlatl robodog does mind control work on cows y/n
5:36:18 PM Atlatl my dumb rear end totally forgot I don't have stunball or anything
5:37:09 PM Robodog without checking the book it totally works

Robodog
Oct 22, 2004

...how does that work?


Raven and Quokka could not be more different. The trickster Raven is to be respected, but never trusted. Quokka might never get much respect, but could be trusted with your life. Evidently, Quokka hadn't had much experience with cows before. Once upon a time Raven might have clipped Lia around the ear and remonstrated that no you idiot, this is a cow what on earth are you even trying to do here. But dear sweet Quokka had no such compunctions, and in the native 'Larrikin' tongue would simply encourage Monster to give her a go, and she'll be right.

"Huh." The guard watches on as with nothing more than stern words and a harsh stare the cows are settled down. Of course, the Aussie guard probably had no idea that Monster had mental powers enough to mind control people (and apparently bovines). She didn't pry into means, though. The results spoke for themselves. "Well. Good on 'ya." She gives Lia a short nod of appreciation, relaxing her hands off her gun. "Alright. I'll get the import forms, then." She leaves the group to their own devices, turning her back to quickly run to the central building where all the precious admin papers are.

Afraid that losing line of sight might unsettle the cows, Monster stays hanging in the window all the while. Staring at the cows. Making sure that they all settled themselves down, laying down and becoming one with the calm vibe one of the Quokka exudes. All except one. The single recalcitrant cow stands defiantly in the middle of the bus, looming tall over the other cows of the herd who were now all sitting the gently caress down like Monster told them to.

But wedged into the window, staring over the herd, Monster is in prime position to figure out what made this cow defy her mental instructions. Like how it was just standing rigidly still and wasn't actually moving in any appreciable way at all. Or that it wasn't actually really shaped liked the other cows. Or the skin looked a bit like it was painted on in something of a hurry. And that it was bolted to the floor and didn't have legs or feet or anything like that.

Lia had found the fake cow hidden amongst the real cows.

Atlatl
Jan 2, 2008

Art thou doubting
your best bro?


Monster
EDG: 3/3 PP: 2/5

She grips the bars of the window even harder and mentally directs the cows to stand back up. Now what? What was inside it? A bomb? Bioweapons? Some terrible insect spirit thing?

Lia continues to stare at the cows as she subvocalizes to the team: "Don't let them look inside for too long and especially don't let them inside."

MMAgCh
Aug 15, 2001
I am the poet,
The prophet of the pit
Like a hollow-point bullet
Straight to the head
I never missed...you

Full Stop
1 Edg, 3 PP

“Acknowledged.” Unaware of Monster’s discovery, Full Stop still sees nothing unusual about the request. Agitating a pack of freshly mollified cows would indeed be a pretty bad idea, after all.

Platonicsolid
Nov 17, 2008



Joanna

Fake cows. Really. Clearly this is the land of crazy people.

As the others put in brute force and some wuju to calm the cows, Joanna climbs up into the cab of the truck. She rifles through all the paperwork she can find, putting together transit orders and some old receipts that at least look legit. Just as they get everything under control, she slides back to the ground, sauntering over to the guard, waving the packet. "Got it!" she declares to the guard. "Customs declaration, transit forms. Whole kit. Didn't know where they'd put it." She leans in. "Trolls, right?" And then she puts on a smile. "Come on, we need to get this beef in and butchered in time for the barbe!"

SidekickBOT - Today at 11:41 AM
@Platonicsolid: 6d6>=5 = (5 3 2 2 1 3, 1 success) = 1

Platonicsolid fucked around with this message at Nov 11, 2017 around 16:42

Robodog
Oct 22, 2004

...how does that work?


Probably the customs guard who asked for the paperwork to be done and poo poo. Con if you want to try to bullshit the paperwork all or negotiation if you want to try to legit fill out paperwork. You'll need to beat the opposed roll of the guards cha+cha.

Robodog
Oct 22, 2004

...how does that work?


While the cab was full of broken glass, sand, dust, assorted junk, a bit of dried blood and actual garbage; Jo's trained eyes are able to discard the useless debris and only notice the important stuff. An official looking transport license jammed in one of the half broken off sun visor. A couple of scrunched up papers in the glovebox that are filled in with most of the registration info for the truck, or at least a truck. An old, beaten up manual crammed under the drivers seat. It probably wasn't ideal, but Jo had ripped off harder marks than this with less stuff before.

The office the guard leads Joanna into is less a prim and proper, cutting edge open floor plan and more just a heavy metal desk sitting off to the side of an open warehouse packed with crates. Emptied trailers are rather haphazardly dumped towards the back of the warehouse, with a few trailer still hooked up to their cabs waiting to get unloaded nearer the front. It certainly made this whole place seem like a a somewhat busy customs station, not even Australian bandits would just stack all the gear they've stolen up on top of each other for easy shipping and inspection like this.

The guard snatches the pile of files from Jo's hand. "Aight, I'll get these in th' system and you fill these out." With her other hand she dumps a battered looking tablet in front of Jo. Just a few fields she had to fill in, name of driver, name of operator slash owner, cargo details and similar. And all signed off with a biometric thumbprint. "Starting to get less and less of you guys through here, ya know." The guard says by way of small talk, not looking up from her beat to poo poo console. "Last year or so, people been getting real friendly with these new auto trucks. Do it all on their own, send us the data when they pull up t'get unloaded. Way of the future, huh?" She points over at the auto truck in question.

New? Future?? These were practically junkers back in the civilised lands of anywhere that's not goddamn Oz. Had to be off the grey market, some old Shiawase trucks driven to the moon and back and then sold on to some idiot Australian who thought they were getting a real steal of a deal on them. These had such antiquated security on them that Joanna knew she could jack one in her sleep, no problems. So easy. That truck and the half-dozen or so metal cargo containers hooked up to it all stamped with fairly recent looking Shiawase marks. That see could read from the manifest just left strewn over the table were drones of some sort. No doubt expensive ones, big drat payday expensive ones…

Outside the rest of the team hear the loudspeakers screech into life, accompanied by a green light flashing on the main building of the compound. "Trailer in holding bay three!" The voice booms. "You are cleared to pass through customs! Be warned that if you are not clear of the border checkpoint in five minutes you and your cargo will be detained!" It sounded a bit harsh, but this was Oz after all. Inside, the guard takes her finger off the comms button and looks back to Jo. "And you're good, mate." She thrusts the pile of papers back at her. "Just don't let those cows get loose or there'll be hell to pay."

PS! Lifelong thief is kicking into gear. If you do not spend a plot point, Jo will need to hijack that tractor trailer loaded with high-quality shiawase drones.

MMAgCh
Aug 15, 2001
I am the poet,
The prophet of the pit
Like a hollow-point bullet
Straight to the head
I never missed...you

Full Stop
1 Edg, 3 PP

Climbing back on top of the trailer, the troll breathes a tiny sigh of relief. With the paperwork taken care of and the Perth Customs people waving the truck through at last, everything should be…

Well, no. She’ll be pleasantly surprised if things do turn out to be smooth sailing from this point on, but it appears unlikely. Already Australia strikes her as the kind of country where nothing is done in a nice, straightforward manner if there is a way involving guns and foul language instead.

Though Veronika is fairly sure none of these folk are going to outdo her when it comes to guns, at least – and at this point she wouldn’t even necessarily mind if someone tried.

Platonicsolid
Nov 17, 2008



Joanna

Now this is going better. Joanna makes her way lazily into the warehouse, and damned if it doesn't feel just like she's back in UCAS. Warehouses, it turns out, are not hotbeds of architectural innovation. Nor of organization, given the trailers parked this way and that over aisle markings that could be easily confused with a few blotches of paints dropped by accident.

It's the mention of the auto-trucks that perks her attention. Oh. Oh my. The guard's lackadasical attitude makes it fairly easy to steal a look at the other truck's manifest. Autotruck with expensive drones. Almost sounds like a trap.

Nah, couldn't be.

Could it?

Wouldn't hurt to just pop over and take a look.

Once she has the papers back, Joanna makes quick time over to the approaching cattle truck. A hop and grab onto the side as she passes the papers through the windows. "All set," she says. "Gonna go see about a thing," and drops off the side of the truck.

And then she's off to work. Joanna makes her way across the warehouse towards the autotruck, moving amongst the crates and cargo containers with care not to be seen by the few staff who are around.

SidekickBOT - Today at 9:44 PM
@Platonicsolid: 12d6>=5 Stealthing over to the truck (redo) = (5 1 2 6 4 5 6 2 4 4 5 5, 6 successes) = 6


Once close enough, she slides underneath and takes a look for an entry hatch. She pulls a couple of her fly-spys from the storage compartment in her leg, which shoot up to the rafters and starts scanning the truck from the top, while Joanna herself crawls about underneath. Wouldn't do to go stealing more cows.


SidekickBOT - Today at 4:29 PM
@Platonicsolid: 9d6>=5 Searching for an entry to the trailer. = (1 6 4 5 4 4 3 2 6, 3 successes) = 3

Platonicsolid fucked around with this message at Nov 20, 2017 around 02:45

Atlatl
Jan 2, 2008

Art thou doubting
your best bro?


Monster
EDG: 3/3 PP: 2/5

"Drive! Drive!" Is Monster's call over subvocal. She hops down from the window with the intent of getting behind the wheel, but hears the cows start to shuffle around as she looses her grip on them. She hops back up, scowling at the bovines and mentally directing them to stop. "Somebody else drive us out of here!"

Axe-man
Apr 16, 2005

The product of hundreds of hours of scientific investigation and research.

The perfect meatball.


Clapping Larry

Wrangler Hax
EDG: 2/2 PP: 4/5


Wrangler had kept the lowest profile he could, however, when he heard the call over subvocal, he jumped behind the wheel and the wheels starting to spinning as he jumped into the driver seat and hit the accelerator.

"Oh poo poo, lets get the gently caress out of here!"

MMAgCh
Aug 15, 2001
I am the poet,
The prophet of the pit
Like a hollow-point bullet
Straight to the head
I never missed...you

Full Stop
1 Edg, 3 PP

“Everything is about to go to hell in a handbasket, confirm?” Full Stop enquires over the comms as she watches Joanna return to the warehouse.

MMAgCh fucked around with this message at Nov 23, 2017 around 03:52

Atlatl
Jan 2, 2008

Art thou doubting
your best bro?


Monster
EDG: 3/3 PP: 2/5

Monster gives a cheery salute to a guard as the truck rolls slowly past. "When has seeing about things ever turned out good? Let's at least get this thing outside the gate so we don't get stuck in lockdown and give them a reason to try and crack open this paper cow. Joanna! Talk to us!"

MMAgCh
Aug 15, 2001
I am the poet,
The prophet of the pit
Like a hollow-point bullet
Straight to the head
I never missed...you

Full Stop
1 Edg, 3 PP

“I regret to admit you have a point.” The troll resists the urge to flip the safety on her guns to off. “…we should probably take a completely different route on the return trip.”

Robodog
Oct 22, 2004

...how does that work?


This might have been her first time in the country, but this was hardly Jo's first time sneaking into a warehouse in broad daylight looking to steal something. And frankly this was hardly the most well protected specimen either. There didn't seem to be any cameras set up inside with the cargo, just a few on the outside. And they were much more focused on logging every truck that drove in and out of the base rather than anything going on inside the warehouse.

The only two guards that even bothered to come out to their vehicle were now otherwise occupied, leaving Jo with a clear moment to dash back into the warehouse and take a closer look at that autotruck. And luckily she manages to get there without encountering another one. While there were more customs personnel guarding the base than just the two, the warehouse seemingly wasn't the prime target they were protecting. Just preventing unwanted intruders from getting near the perimeter fence looked to be the more important to them than making sure nothing from the cargo manifest was 'misplaced'.

All the more reason for Jo to press her luck.

Sliding under the trailer and sending her drones up above, there isn't an angle that she can't put her eyes on. The cargo containers were firmly attached and there didn't seem to be any way to extract just one drone easily. The cab, being fully automatic, was not freely enterable. There were no real windows on the thing and the doors were just sealed access ports to some of the engine mechanics. As was the bonnet. But after a thorough poking under the carriage Jo stumbles on a pretty easily openable floor vent, which she finds leads up into the brains of the smart truck at the back of the cab. It's a tight fit, but easy enough for Jo to settle into. Now she just needed to drive the drat thing.

Outside, whether they knew it or not, Wrangler was providing a great distraction by turning the massive engine over and pulling the truck out of the parking bay. All eyes and guns of the guards were watching this cow riddled truck slowly make its way out of their base. Not because it was suspicious exactly, sure Monster was hanging off the side like a confused koala and Jinx stubbornly refused to move at all from the rear doors in case of catastrophic cow emergency and somehow that wasn’t exactly cause for concern, but mostly to make sure that this foreign cargo clears the border station without any issues. If something was going to go tits up they didn't want it to happen on their watch.

The gates in front of them open up and Wrangler is able to deftly manoeuvre the truck out of the compound proper. Of course he doesn't get much further than that and not at any real speed at all, they still had to wait for Joanna to catch up from whatever the hell it was she was doing.

Atlatl
Jan 2, 2008

Art thou doubting
your best bro?


Monster
EDG: 3/3 PP: 2/5

"Pull it over!" Monster shouts. "Hey, I said pull it over! Make it look like a breakdown so we can stop." She tests the cows by looking away briefly. When they fail to act up, she climbs towards the cabin and pounds on the window. "You hear me? Joanna!" She suddenly switches to the team's comms channel. "Joanna! loving answer us! We're totally not coming back for you if anything happens and you don't answer, I swear!"

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Axe-man
Apr 16, 2005

The product of hundreds of hours of scientific investigation and research.

The perfect meatball.


Clapping Larry

Wrangler Hax
EDG: 2/2 PP: 4/5


Wrangler shook his head and looked back at where he had last seen Jenna in the rear view, Wrangler pushes the button for the hazard lights and looks back at the others. "Preparing to coast our way to a stop." He said on the sub vocal and downshifted the convoy masterfully.

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