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little munchkin


a lot of people would be worried for their lives in my situation, but the roaring engine and whirring blades dont bothe me at all. nor does the lunatic wielding it while in swift pursuit of me. its not a big deal at all.

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little munchkin


im actually quite confident in my odds of escaping

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Putty

Leathrface's chainsaw is no match for the superior cut of my Japanese steel.



jjoin my discordd

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless

What is this? The 1970's

*yawn*

Call me when you can match the terror of America's expanding imperialism

Macnult


not like they even know how to use the chainsaw, ill just do a backflip over them to show how easy and unafraid my escape was


thank you city of glompton for the sig

Gone Fashing

KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

man attacked with chainsaw: "what are you gonna do, attack me with a chainsaw?"

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless

*stabs just over 8 feet away*

*electric Chainsaw unplugs as leather face gets too far from the outlet*

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless

Gone Fashing posted:

man attacked with chainsaw: "what are you gonna do, attack me with a chainsaw?"

Macnult


Gone Fashing posted:

man attacked with chainsaw: "what are you gonna do, attack me with a chainsaw?"


thank you city of glompton for the sig

Macnult


crazy chainsaw wielding pursuer has to stop and take breaks from all the crossfit jokes im laying onto them


thank you city of glompton for the sig

Gone Fashing

KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

jigsaw style horror villain bringing running chainsaw ever closer to my face: just imagine this saw ripping each of your limbs off, then slowly tearing your body in half from your stomach to your head

me: not that hard to imagine

Macnult


eight years at the leafblower academy has prepared me for encounters like this and buddy your crouching logger stance is pathetic


thank you city of glompton for the sig

Manifisto


the grade of chainsaw oil being used by that leather faced lunatic is honestly rather inferior, I wouldn't be surprised if the thing seizes up before he has a chance to carve my flesh

Splatmaster


HAIKOOLIGAN

I'm not scared of a silly 'ol chainletter saw neither!

BYOB fun all year long! Sigs by: Manifisto and Vanisher, awesome BYOB people!!

cda


Please! No! I'm terrified of your chainsawhahaha...PSYCH!

Gone Fashing

KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

looking back at guy chasing me with chainsaw: You almost had me? You never had me - you never had your car... Granny shiftin' not double clutchin' like you should. You're lucky that hundred shot of NOS didn't blow the welds on the intake! You almost had me?

little munchkin


im not even sure if its a man or a woman chasing me, thats how little i care

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

AverySpecialfriend

if someone swung a chainsaw at me id just catch it between my hands

"heh... SAW that one coming"

Starman Super DX

This title text is surprisingly sturdy.

Wow really? A chainsaw? I haven't seen that one before. Why not try something more original like a circular saw or belt san- AUAUGUHGUGHGBLAUGUHHH

Tell me more!
btw ty Birdcon for the sweet spring sig

AverySpecialfriend

wow, chainsawing me in half, real original bud. hey jokes on you i was gonna pay to get that leg removed anyway so whos the stupid one now?

Kthulhu5000

Coulda, woulda, shoulda
bought
a
TurboGrafx-16

I'll go mano-a-mano with any psychotic chainsaw-wielding maniac any day but, um, no kissing or talking about my feelings, K?

INTIMACY IS THE REAL HORROR.

vanisher


Let's take a quick inventory and see just who has the upper hand:

You: Weighed down by your black trench coat, low visibility hockey mask, and 45 pound gas powered chain saw
Me: Limber and refreshed from just exiting the shower and using Zest brand body soap

You: Winded from screaming "i'm going to get you" at the top of your lungs upon entering the room
Me: Relaxed and ready to dodge in any direction due to the lack of resistance from clothing

You: Probably alerted half the neighborhood by just walking around looking like a creep
Me: Could probably just stand still and the police will be here any moment


Sig images courtesy of the talented Manifisto, Uxzuigal & Death Sext

Starman Super DX

This title text is surprisingly sturdy.

vanisher posted:

Let's take a quick inventory and see just who has the upper hand:

You: Weighed down by your black trench coat, low visibility hockey mask, and 45 pound gas powered chain saw
Me: Limber and refreshed from just exiting the shower and using Zest brand body soap

You: Winded from screaming "i'm going to get you" at the top of your lungs upon entering the room
Me: Relaxed and ready to dodge in any direction due to the lack of resistance from clothing

You: Probably alerted half the neighborhood by just walking around looking like a creep
Me: Could probably just stand still and the police will be here any moment

lol

Tell me more!
btw ty Birdcon for the sweet spring sig

Android Blues


Gone Fashing posted:

jigsaw style horror villain bringing running chainsaw ever closer to my face: just imagine this saw ripping each of your limbs off, then slowly tearing your body in half from your stomach to your head

me: not that hard to imagine

Macnult posted:

eight years at the leafblower academy has prepared me for encounters like this and buddy your crouching logger stance is pathetic

Manifisto posted:

the grade of chainsaw oil being used by that leather faced lunatic is honestly rather inferior, I wouldn't be surprised if the thing seizes up before he has a chance to carve my flesh

vanisher posted:

Let's take a quick inventory and see just who has the upper hand:

You: Weighed down by your black trench coat, low visibility hockey mask, and 45 pound gas powered chain saw
Me: Limber and refreshed from just exiting the shower and using Zest brand body soap

You: Winded from screaming "i'm going to get you" at the top of your lungs upon entering the room
Me: Relaxed and ready to dodge in any direction due to the lack of resistance from clothing

You: Probably alerted half the neighborhood by just walking around looking like a creep
Me: Could probably just stand still and the police will be here any moment

Dads Dip Cup


*shuffling up the half-dead tree in my front yard that I've been too lazy to take care of for the past three months* "ooh, I'm in a tree! how ya gonna get me now, big guy?"

ScrubLeague



The guy actually is going to trim up my trees but he needs me to show him where they are and he has another appointment he needs to get to in a hurry.

Android Blues


me: yawn

chainsaw person: did you just piss yourself

me: yes but only because i need to go. it's not because of you. i'm just releasing a little weight from my bladder, making me even quicker and more able to easily elude you. too bad you'd never have the moral fortitude and mercurial ingenuity to piss yourself to catch me.

chainsaw person: drat you!

Android Blues


Chainsaw Person: Restricted by phallocentric social norms, "acting out" within a narrow sphere of masculine violence against women

Me: Covered in urine, unafraid, dashing forward with easy long-legged strides while making sure not to strain my core

Android Blues


yawn. *looking back at chainsaw person languidly while running* call me back when you have a yonic/vulval/labial weapon and your violence against me symbolises the onset of menarche instead of my looming availability as a sexual object.

chainsaw person: "i can't! the horror movie industry will never allow it except by accident, since i and those like me are still eternally a product of sublimated desire-fear for mutilated, penetrated images of women!"

me: truly you are a prisoner of your own instincts. *leaping over a log with the grace of a gazelle, doing a cool hand plant on it to buoy myself up* i pity you

Android Blues


Chainsaw Person: YAHAHAHAHA! I'm going to kill you!

me: *listening to zombie runner on my iphone lightning port earbuds, getting some fantastic glutes work in, enjoying the change in pace and terrain*

cda


vanisher posted:

Let's take a quick inventory and see just who has the upper hand:

You: Weighed down by your black trench coat, low visibility hockey mask, and 45 pound gas powered chain saw
Me: Limber and refreshed from just exiting the shower and using Zest brand body soap

You: Winded from screaming "i'm going to get you" at the top of your lungs upon entering the room
Me: Relaxed and ready to dodge in any direction due to the lack of resistance from clothing

You: Probably alerted half the neighborhood by just walking around looking like a creep
Me: Could probably just stand still and the police will be here any moment

Android Blues


*jogging backwards away from chainsaw man, arms pumping gaily* pfft. care to offer me a challenge?

alnilam




vanisher posted:

Let's take a quick inventory and see just who has the upper hand:

You: Weighed down by your black trench coat, low visibility hockey mask, and 45 pound gas powered chain saw
Me: Limber and refreshed from just exiting the shower and using Zest brand body soap

You: Winded from screaming "i'm going to get you" at the top of your lungs upon entering the room
Me: Relaxed and ready to dodge in any direction due to the lack of resistance from clothing

You: Probably alerted half the neighborhood by just walking around looking like a creep
Me: Could probably just stand still and the police will be here any moment



Android Blues posted:

Chainsaw Person: YAHAHAHAHA! I'm going to kill you!

me: *listening to zombie runner on my iphone lightning port earbuds, getting some fantastic glutes work in, enjoying the change in pace and terrain*

little munchkin


was gonna run in terror but i just noticed that the crazed killer doesnt even have a stihl so now im catching up on emails while they try and slice me up with an inferior chainsaw that doesnt even have a diamond blade

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Splatmaster


HAIKOOLIGAN

*checking my inbox while walking away with a skip in my step and mirth in my gait*

(breaks out in song while non-chalantly shuffling away)

I'm SINGING in the rain! Just singin' in the rain

*deftly swings around a street lamp post and walks toward the aggressor*

what a glor-i-ous feeling

*ducks chainsaw*

I'm happy again!

*looks at the camera and shrugs while giving chainsaw maniac a sidelong glance*

I'm laughing at clouds

*phone rings, it's chainsaw maniac out of breath asking me to slow down*

So dark up above, the sun's in my heart

*texts back to chainsaw maniac, "LOL!"*

And I'm ready for love, let the stormy clouds chase

*chainsaw maniac is looking r e a l nervous*

Come on with the rain I've a smile on my face

*chainsaw maniac is innundated with a torrential downpour and is washed away*

I walk down the lane with a happy refrain,

Just singin', singin' in the rain!

BYOB fun all year long! Sigs by: Manifisto and Vanisher, awesome BYOB people!!

cda


concepts:

chainsaw guy chasing a bunch of speedwalkers in a speedwalking race
chainsaw guy chasing a parkour guy
chainsaw guy in gym running on treadmill while on the treadmill in front of him an old woman is walking at a moderate pace
chainsaw guy trying to run in a pool (difficult b/c resistance) holding his chainsaw over his head to avoid it getting wet and the person hes chasing is michael phelps

i came up with these ideas and wrote them down while i was being chased by a chainsaw person

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless

Splatmaster posted:

*checking my inbox while walking away with a skip in my step and mirth in my gait*

(breaks out in song while non-chalantly shuffling away)

I'm SINGING in the rain! Just singin' in the rain

*deftly swings around a street lamp post and walks toward the aggressor*

what a glor-i-ous feeling

*ducks chainsaw*

I'm happy again!

*looks at the camera and shrugs while giving chainsaw maniac a sidelong glance*

I'm laughing at clouds

*phone rings, it's chainsaw maniac out of breath asking me to slow down*

So dark up above, the sun's in my heart

*texts back to chainsaw maniac, "LOL!"*

And I'm ready for love, let the stormy clouds chase

*chainsaw maniac is looking r e a l nervous*

Come on with the rain I've a smile on my face

*chainsaw maniac is innundated with a torrential downpour and is washed away*

I walk down the lane with a happy refrain,

Just singin', singin' in the rain!

Gone Fashing

KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

cda posted:

concepts:

chainsaw guy chasing a bunch of speedwalkers in a speedwalking race
chainsaw guy chasing a parkour guy
chainsaw guy in gym running on treadmill while on the treadmill in front of him an old woman is walking at a moderate pace
chainsaw guy trying to run in a pool (difficult b/c resistance) holding his chainsaw over his head to avoid it getting wet and the person hes chasing is michael phelps

i came up with these ideas and wrote them down while i was being chased by a chainsaw person

Manifisto


no matter how many scary "brrr brrr" and "rum rum" noises he makes, the lunatic chasing me with a hacksaw cannot quite evoke the primal reactions achieved by his motorized brethren

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Android Blues


Manifisto posted:

no matter how many scary "brrr brrr" and "rum rum" noises he makes, the lunatic chasing me with a hacksaw cannot quite evoke the primal reactions achieved by his motorized brethren

well, sure, but I think it's important to support your local ethically sourced chainsaw men. If I'm getting chased by a guy with a skin mask, I want it to be a skin mask made from the face of a friend or neighbour, not some city slicker from the Left Coast who was ambushed in an airport terminal, perhaps in an ill-advised "slasher in the city" sequel type scenario. Sometimes that means accepting that you're not going to be chased by a professional lunatic with all the bells and whistles. Sometimes it's gonna be a resurrected lumberjack with contagious lockjaw and a rusty axe retrieved from his gravesite down the interstate a ways, and that's okay.

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