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*filing nails as chainsaw murderer charges after me* *stabs me in the stomach and cuts my torso off* me, in a gurgling voice and my eyes rolling uncaringly: "whatever dude." |
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Aug 9, 2017 19:31
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 22:22 |
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No matter how much I gesture and shout over the noise of the chainsaw I cannot possibly hope to convey upon this strange person the importance of how much it is that I am nonplussed at his curious if not outright odd antics. I maintain my pace, yet it still fascinates me the intense look of confusion, perhaps even concern- at my intentional and sincere lack of any care. I glance over my shoulder and notice something that creates a sinking feeling in my stomach... Chainsaws don't scare me. What concerns me is the obvious lack of care this madman has been responsible for on this exquisite piece of machinery for who knows how long. There should be oil on that chain, it looked as if it hadn't seen any lubrication since it rolled off the assembly line! And the chain was way too loose, it could come off or worse, catch on the operator's clothing or a foreign object! I better keep ahead of this irresponsible clown, jeeze- I bet he got the ratios all wrong when he mixed the gasoline with the oil. I bet the careless fool didn't even check the spark plug's gap- https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 9, 2017 19:42
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Macnult posted:eight years at the leafblower academy has prepared me for encounters like this and buddy your crouching logger stance is pathetic my friends laughed at me for choosing leafblower over chainsaw in the last of us remaster and also in the hunger games |
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Aug 9, 2017 20:36
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| "You're really gonna cut me in half? Did you even see that thing that Jason did with liquid nitrogen or those sleeping bags?" | |
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Aug 9, 2017 21:17
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Hold up, is that chainsaw only 35hp? Good luck making it through my ribcage lol Oh he's back with a kitchen knife, so scared. Haha wait, is that the bread knife?? Haha oh my god just give up. |
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Aug 9, 2017 21:30
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Ya know, that's a pretty big chainsaw ya got there... are you compensating for something?
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 9, 2017 21:33
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ive got news for you chainsaw guy: ive never had sex. im a big idiot loser whos NEVER had sex, and i KNOW that means you cant kill me! ive read carol clover bitch! i long for the intimate touch of another human being nearly daily but one intimate touch thatll never happen is the touch of your chainsaw to my bodily members because i never have had, and may never HAVE have, the good human thing that we like to call sex |
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Aug 9, 2017 21:40
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it's like, I know I'm in danger, but to be released of all that student debt... |
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Aug 9, 2017 21:41
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can't chain what you can't saw you dumb fucker |
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Aug 9, 2017 22:37
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| the chainsaw maniac wielding a gas powered chainsaw, starts breathing the exhaust and has an asthma attack while i lol and casually walk away | |
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Aug 9, 2017 23:31
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runuRUNNArnarUNNANArnaRUNNNAA-brrp [psychotic killer tugs at chainsaw starting pull cord] brrp [tugs again] brrp [tugs yet again, slight panic setting in] brrp me: you forgot the choke [killer ignores me, pulls more frenziedly at the cord] brrp me: the choke, it's never going to start if you don't pull out the choke [shifts his body so his back is towards me] brrp me: fine, do it your way, but we're going to be here all day at this rate
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Aug 9, 2017 23:37
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Sure, he's a supernatural horror literally hellbent on destroying me. Sure, even his chainsaw is otherworldly, never running out of gas or needing maintenance. But he doesn't know how to use vehicles. By my estimate he'll catch up with me in three days minimum, assuming that he can climb the continental shelf on the European side of the Atlantic. |
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Aug 9, 2017 23:56
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*smugly* chainsaws don't kill people, people kill people
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Aug 10, 2017 01:03
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| i have my 43rd amendment rights *revs chainsaw inside a walmart* | |
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Aug 10, 2017 01:05
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vanisher posted:Let's take a quick inventory and see just who has the upper hand: Lol |
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Aug 10, 2017 03:11
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oh no, psychotic maniac Brer Bear, please don't chase me into that chainsaw patch over yonder!
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Aug 10, 2017 03:21
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chainsaw murderer: im GOING to saw you in HALF me: who? chainsaw murserer: saw YOU in HALF me(grinning): how much?? chainsaw murder: IM GOING to SAW YOU- me(looking at the camera): youre going to what now chainsaw idiot: aaaggh gently caress |
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Aug 10, 2017 03:24
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update: me and the chainsaw maniac have talked things out and are now friends. it's funny what happens when you start being open minded and stop being scared of things just because their different
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Aug 10, 2017 03:45
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chainsaw murderer: PREPARE TO DIE ! I AM BANDSAW , SLAYER OF THE LIVING ! I AM A GHOST DEVIL THAT HAS CRAWLED FROM HELL TO MURDER ANY FOOLISH ENOUGH TO WANDER INTO THIS PLACE ! I AM MANIFEST OF THE COLLECTED AVARICE THAT DWELLS IN THIS FOREST ! BEFORE IT WAS A "SUMMER CAMP" , THIS WAS WHERE-- me: thats a chainsaw, not a bandsaw chainsaw murderer: WHAT . NO me: how can you be a ghost and a devil those are different things chainsaw murderer: NO STOP |
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Aug 10, 2017 04:09
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ron color posted:chainsaw murderer: PREPARE TO DIE ! I AM BANDSAW , SLAYER OF THE LIVING ! I AM A GHOST DEVIL THAT HAS CRAWLED FROM HELL TO MURDER ANY FOOLISH ENOUGH TO WANDER INTO THIS PLACE ! I AM MANIFEST OF THE COLLECTED AVARICE THAT DWELLS IN THIS FOREST ! BEFORE IT WAS A "SUMMER CAMP" , THIS WAS WHERE-- being chased by a person with a chainsaw, but i destroy him using logic ---------------- |
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Aug 10, 2017 04:11
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ron color posted:chainsaw murderer: im GOING to saw you in HALF lol |
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Aug 10, 2017 04:19
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little munchkin posted:update: me and the chainsaw maniac have talked things out and are now friends. it's funny what happens when you start being open minded and stop being scared of things just because their different Oh thats cool... YOU should probably quiz him on human things like baseball to make sure its not bunch of raccoons in a trenchcoat situation |
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Aug 10, 2017 04:32
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*crosses arms* uh, there's only like, 25-30 active serial killers in this country right now, so statistically it's almost impossible that you are one of them, let's not fool ourselves here buddy. |
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Aug 10, 2017 08:47
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Completely destroying the chainsaw man, banishing him back to hell, with a well-placed "...Really?" |
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Aug 10, 2017 11:46
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*Climbing up the walls of the thunderdome, being chased by someone with a chainsaw, just as it gives out* "Oh hey, look, maybe you ran out of gas? Or just need to adjust the choke? I mean oiling up the chain never hurts? Here just give it to me." *Takes out a multitool and makes some adjustments before fueling and oiling it up and handing it back* "There ya go, shall we continue?"
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Aug 10, 2017 14:49
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*Crocodile Dundee, threatened with a chainsaw* "Thats not a chainsaw" *Pulls out a much larger one out of no where* "Thats a chainsaw!" Twenty Four fucked around with this message at 15:00 on Aug 10, 2017
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Aug 10, 2017 14:52
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As the chainsaw makes a few quick sputtering coughs, it shudders to a sad stop. Chainsaw Guy looks upon his once mighty construct of mayhem and murder, then slowly looks up toward me and slowly removes his hockey mask. A look of first confusion, then understanding crosses his face as he realizes what's happened. "I peed in your gas tank." I say with no emotion, turning as the last syllable leaves my lips. I'm done here. I have no further use for this person and go on my way https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 10, 2017 15:01
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*Sees maniac wielding a chainsaw in the air menacingly* *Looks across the street to see "The Big Texan Steakhouse" with 72oz steak challenge* *a gust of wind blows a cowboy hat down the road past a "Don't Mess with Texas" road sign* Shouts to maniac, "Hey friend, Doesn't this remind you of something?"
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Aug 10, 2017 16:23
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i'm running on the rolling teeth of a giant chainsaw, much like bugs bunny running on a floating log. |
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Aug 10, 2017 16:37
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i catch the chainsaw teeth in my own teeth, much like ace ventura caught that bullet. |
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Aug 10, 2017 16:39
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i dodge each chainsaw swipe from the maniacal killer, much like how caine from Kung Fu: The Legend Continues dodges bullets. |
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Aug 10, 2017 16:41
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(chainsaw guy's chainsaw suddenly stops working) Me: As I expected. A defective chainsaw. Pathetic. Chainsaw guy: Joke's on you, buddy. I got the extended warranty on this thing. Me: Hmm, and I'm assuming you saved your original receipt along with the warranty paperwork? Chainsaw guy: ...NOOOOOOO!!! |
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Aug 10, 2017 16:59
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Gone Fashing posted:man attacked with chainsaw: "what are you gonna do, attack me with a chainsaw?" little munchkin posted:was gonna run in terror but i just noticed that the crazed killer doesnt even have a stihl so now im catching up on emails while they try and slice me up with an inferior chainsaw that doesnt even have a diamond blade cda posted:concepts: Jedrick posted:can't chain what you can't saw you dumb fucker Manifisto posted:runuRUNNArnarUNNANArnaRUNNNAA-brrp lol |
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Aug 10, 2017 17:07
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Aug 10, 2017 17:36
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https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 10, 2017 17:56
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Aug 10, 2017 18:04
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Aug 10, 2017 18:09
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Aug 10, 2017 18:30
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Aug 10, 2017 18:59
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 22:22 |
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Aug 10, 2017 19:10
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