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SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.





Fire Heroes is a game I can tell you exactly gently caress-all about. It's an action/adventure thing set in a burning high-rise. It has three playable characters and multiple endings for each.

505 dragged it from the depths of Japan, and dubbed it.

Mobygames doesn't know of it, GameFAQs can only provide cover images.

But I know from experience that it's beatable, and comes with just the right level of drama and idiocy.

Also, the subject of fire safety has got a bit more popular in the light (not literally) of the Grenfell Tower fire.

SCOTT'S AMAZING KICKING ADVENTURE:

Chapter 0.1: Yuu Who?

Chapter 0.2: The shoddiest work I've ever seen!

Chapter 1: Snap out of it!

Chapter 2: Look for victims.

Chapter 4: -hic-

Chapter 3: See? I told you!

Chapter 5: Sledgehammer.

Chapter 6: Why my building?!

Chapter 7.1: The Dumb...

Chapter 7.2: ...and the Dumber.

Chapters 8 & 9: Never again...



:

Max's Prologue: I charge for men.

Max's Episode 1 & 2: DIE DIE DIE

Max's Episode 3, 4 & ?: drat! I was too slow!

Max's Episode 5, 6 & End: How dare you...


DOUGLAS TAKES A SMOKE BREAK:

Captain!!!


FANART

EagerSleeper posted:

We've reached an ending. Woo hoo! I've been thoroughly enjoying this game and seeing how it seems to vacillate between clunky gameplay designs and holy poo poo this writing is spectacular. Meanwhile watching the video, I drew some doodles.


I'm not sure what Max is saying, but Scott doesn't seem to like it.


In memoriam to whatever the hell Paul was doing.


And lastly, Douglas says what's on everyone's mind.



SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at 20:17 on Oct 31, 2017

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Ratoslov
Feb 15, 2012

Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!



Scott is terrible in every way. I'm rooting for Paul and the fire.

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND



I have no idea what this game is and I have even less idea of what Scott was thinking when he designed this building. Who the hell would put absolutely everything inside a single building? I guess a jackass, considering how he interacts with everyone.

Also be honest with us, SelenicMartian: Riho's the secret fourth playable character, isn't she? That's the surprise of this thread, isn't it? Bikini model idol singer giant monster zombie-slaying mass murderer weaponsmaster fire fighter Riho Futaba.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



Blaze Dragon posted:

Also be honest with us, SelenicMartian: Riho's the secret fourth playable character, isn't she?
No, but there's a black woman NPC whose voice actress learned black woman speech from the Tom & Jerry cartoons.

Kibayasu
Mar 28, 2010



You know, as goofy as the results often were/are, I always enjoyed trying those few games that actually try to be about something other than shooting and stabbing. So as weird as it may sound I'm actually kind of interested to see what this game tries to do with the mechanics of dealing with an emergency. Obviously they're going to be simple but still, it's something a bit different. Unless it turns into some kind of criminal conspiracy and the fire is just a diversion to steal something really important in which case I'm also in to see an architect axe his way to victory.

GamesAreSupernice
Jan 3, 2014

Oh, whoa! Check out the Viewing Globe, shorty!


I came here just to gloat that I guessed this was Fire Heroes based on that one thumbnail.

Okay you can continue sorry.

EasilyConfused
Nov 21, 2009


That was a lot of wonderful nonsense from the game. Very excited about this LP.

CheeseThief
Dec 28, 2012




I'm guessing Paul leading Yuu out of the room was them reusing some kind of rescue animation but it looks like she's being dragged away forcefully.

Hopefully by the end of the game she will escape the fire, her callous boyfriend and her creepy stalker.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



GamesAreSupernice posted:

I came here just to gloat that I guessed this was Fire Heroes based on that one thumbnail.
You poor man

Mzbundifund
Nov 5, 2011

I'm afraid so.


I enjoy how in a game literally about fire, the fire graphic is just this sad wobbly orange smudge.

Glaive17
Oct 11, 2012

What is there left to discover about donuts...?


Pillbug

This game reminds me of Disaster: Day of Crisis a bit. (Need archives for that link)

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



Let's finish the prologue quick, because you've got to see the voice acting.

Chapter 0.2: The shoddiest work I've ever seen!

Nuramor
Dec 13, 2012

Most Amewsing Prinny Ever!


I'm unreasonably happy about Douglas chewing out Scott for his design mistakes and tendency to blame others.
If only the game controlled better...

EasilyConfused
Nov 21, 2009


Oh my god this voice acting and dialog and gameplay and animations and story...and...and...

Can we get Yuu and Gou to start an Abbott and Costello routine?

Also, Sean is totally a ten year old wearing stilts isn't he?

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND



Fire Fantasy 2 looks like an acceptable game but man, the more I see, the more I wonder who the hell would trust Scott. We just had a fireman outright point out the obvious design flaws in case of a fire of his building (giving us the current situation, Nicholas or not), throwing everything in is nonsense, and for such an important hotel, the bathroom looks awful. I wouldn't go there.

Polsy
Mar 23, 2007



I'm just glad they actually got round to 'hmm, maybe we shouldn't use the elevators when the building's on fire'.

Polsy
Mar 23, 2007



Also 505 did some pretty hard editing with the opening. Maybe they didn't want to get sued by the 24 people.

(minor spoilers for brief intro movie-type moments some of which haven't happened yet)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnT49zoF394

Kibayasu
Mar 28, 2010



A bomb already huh? Well just ignore most of my other post then!

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

Nothing scarier than an artillery barrage -- Am I right?


In on the ground floor so I can evacuate unlike others stuck higher up, unless the automatic doors malfunction.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me



Amanda, or whatever the housekeeper's name was, sounds an awful lot like Applejack from My Little Pony (yes, I have children under the age of ten).

Kangra
May 7, 2012



This is certainly one of the odder adaptations of The Fountainhead around.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



Fireproof padding.

Chapter 1: Snap out of it!

EasilyConfused
Nov 21, 2009


*Looks at man with his legs crushed by debris*

Hey! Snap out of it!

Ratoslov
Feb 15, 2012

Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!



I've got to hand it to Scott: despite the failure of the fire suppression systems and the copious building code violations, this building is taking it's sweet time to burn down. He actually did something right that doesn't involve axes.

EagerSleeper
Feb 3, 2010

by R. Guyovich


The character chart says that they actually care a lot about their plot??? The blend of putting effort into some aspects while being flimsy in others is mesmerizing.

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND



I thought the prologue looked interesting but goddamn chapter 1 just ruined all the goodwill I had for this, that's a lot of backtracking with nothing interesting in it. And the axe-wall segment would've made me think I was doing something wrong with how long it took.

I guess the ideal is that Spike thought that this was a good game while the reality is that whoever was behind this is about a good of an architect as Scott.

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.

The Real is the timer on the game. The Ideal is that we take so long that the building burns down with Scott in it. And anyone else we meet who is annoying.

Shei-kun
Dec 2, 2011

Screw you, physics!


The Ideal is that the game makes us care about Scott.

The Real is that we only care about how many times we can set him on fire for our amusement.

busysignal
Nov 28, 2013


The ideal is that Sean can snap out of it.

The real is that he was stuck under concrete and that the only thing that's Snapped is his spine.

Kibayasu
Mar 28, 2010



To take this far more seriously than I should:

My initial thought was that maybe it was a bad translation of "idealist" and "realist" but nothing that happens really supports that.

Other than that I figure it must have something to do with the rookie firefighter getting weak in the knees, Clayton berating him, but then the firefighter risking his life to save Clayton and Clayton coming around. So maybe a bad translation of the "ideal" being the "idea" you have of yourself and the "real" being what you are actually capable of when forced to act. Or in Clayton's case, what you assume about someone and what they are actually like.

Arkanumzilong
Sep 10, 2016


So, I think this game is either a sequel or straight rip off from another series
I dont recall the name of the second entry, but the first was septetrion or something like that
You picked one of 3 characters, had to survive a disaster (a boat turning upside down in the snes game's case) there being a real world time limit from the moment you started a game, which when it ran down you would get a game over (with the situation changing about halfway down the timer)
You ran into and could try to rescue other survivors, each character had their own plot related survivors and such, and sometimes came across each other, each character also having a number of diferent endings.
And death just took time off the time limit, the only real game over being from the timer running out(except survivors would either die for real or wander off)
Arino even played it on game center CX.

A lot of this game's structure and gameplay, at the least superficially, is making me think of the snes game

Xenoveritas
May 9, 2010


Dinosaur Gum

I figured they'd have the fire fighter at least use the fireman's carry when hauling victims around rather then throw them over a single shoulder. Nope. He just chucks them over a shoulder.

And as the Wikipedia article points out, it turns out firefighters generally don't carry victims unless they have to carry them down a ladder. Carrying them can place them into smoke and into hazards the firefighter cannot see, and as SelenicMartian mentioned, can actually make their injuries worse. Instead, firefighters will generally drag victims who can't be moved. And, in fact, the firefighter's gear probably includes what's essentially a loop of webbing that can be used to aid in dragging victims when necessary.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



Arkanumzilong posted:

A lot of this game's structure and gameplay, at the least superficially, is making me think of the snes game
Maybe that's what the subtitle on the Japanese cover refers to.

While I'm working on the boiler room, here's a summary of the art of LPs

Kibayasu
Mar 28, 2010



That's the worst fire hose I've ever seen.

Xenoveritas
May 9, 2010


Dinosaur Gum

I do like how the developers realized they couldn't get the hose to actually snake from the origin point to where the player was and just flat-out gave up and made it fade into nothingness. It's actually a fairly reasonable cheat.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



Chapter 2: Look for victims.





For those who don't read the GBS OSHA thread, USCSB or how being lazy kills you or other people:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfUrC2u_Nsc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uo7H_ILs1qc

Polsy
Mar 23, 2007




That's probably the least accusatory one of those I've ever seen. I mean sure, they hosed up, but because they did a generally accepted procedure on an uncommon old model of valve rather than negligence or deiberately not following procedure.

EasilyConfused
Nov 21, 2009


SelenicMartian posted:


For those who don't read the GBS OSHA thread, USCSB or how being lazy kills you or other people:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfUrC2u_Nsc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uo7H_ILs1qc

I didn't expect to spend my evening watching industrial safety videos, but here I am.

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EagerSleeper
Feb 3, 2010

by R. Guyovich


Where did that one officer protagonist gently caress off to? He's been gone the whole time. I want to know what his secret gameplay mechanic is.

Also Douglas is actually a fire elemental who is trying to blend in with humanity, but is doing a really bad job at it when he is just plain immune to explosions.

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