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Omi no Kami
Feb 19, 2014




I think what really threw me was the faux-date they went on later on, when Zorian aired all of his issues with their past and they talked it out. The way it was written, I thought it was a setup for stuff down the road: they had a great night out, learned a bunch about each other, talked like humans, and she gave him explicit tips on how to beef up and get her attention in the real world. But after that Taiven and a lot of the other slice of life stuff felt like it was pretty hastily backburnered in favor of building up to escaping the loop and the climax.

Although to be fair, that was probably a good move- I remember the story felt like it heavily accelerated around the late 60s when they met Damian and did all the jungle stuff, but even at full speed it still took almost 40 chapters to wrap everything up.

I dunno- I enjoyed the heck out of MoL, but at the end of the day I generally found the slice of life and background stuff way more interesting than stopping the cult and pursuing the main plot.

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Affi
Dec 18, 2005

Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA


Thatís why I think if he keeps writing itís going to be a lot of fun. The world is still teetering in the edge of a world war and there is a conspiracy that Zach and Zorian need to uphold.

IShallRiseAgain
Sep 12, 2008

Well ain't that precious?

I think he mentioned that his next story would probably not be set in the Mother of Learning universe. One of the possiblities he brought up was a story about a mass exodus to another dimension/world

Ytlaya
Nov 13, 2005

0.000% of Communism has been built. Evil child-murdering billionaires still rule the world with a shit-eating grin.

Omi no Kami posted:

Yeah, that's definitely true. I think part of it was that I found the whole "Weirdass autistic brain wizard learns to human" thing genuinely interesting early on, when he was like 'I've used my telepathy to deduce that people's outward behavior does not match their real feelings on a 1:1 basis' and the audience was like 'No poo poo'. But after a while a lot of that got backseated, and I think it would've been really interesting to see the aftermath. Because yeah, he killed the cultists and stopped the bad thing, but holy poo poo he's a maladjusted teenager in his late 20s coming down from 10+ years of nonstop fight-or-flight, also he can explode things with his brain. So yeah- I think seeing more of the slice of life crap would've been welcome especially in the back half.

And yeah, Zach got robbed. Like, the poor guy didn't even show up in the epilogue, what the hell?


I definitely agree about that, yeah. In retrospect, Zorian kinda regressed to focusing on crazy magic exploits after the first portion of the series did a good job of mixing his magic development and his social development. In retrospect I still consider the introduction of simulacrums to be where the magic min-maxing stuff started to take a front seat.

Cicero posted:

Somehow I don't think a high school boy hitting on women a decade+ his senior is going to work out terribly well. Let alone Zach hitting up...retirement homes, I guess?

Just from a social angle, going more than a few years older than themselves probably isn't feasible.

Yeah, but there's not really any way around this. It just means Zorian doesn't really have any feasible romantic options until he gets a few years older (since age starts mattering a lot less once you're in the early to mid twenties, whereas it matters quite a bit when one party is like 17 or whatever). It still makes perfect sense that he wouldn't be able to relate to Taiven well enough to make a relationship work; it also making sense that he can't date older women doesn't really change that.

Ytlaya fucked around with this message at 16:09 on May 12, 2020

Megazver
Jan 13, 2006


I recall the author saying somewhere he just didn't want to write any romance, no matter how conducive being in a time loop might be to experimentation in such.

Megazver fucked around with this message at 11:06 on May 13, 2020

Omi no Kami
Feb 19, 2014




The author just not wanting to bother with it makes the most sense... although it also makes great narrative sense that Zorian spent like ten years of his life in groundhog day and never once thought to himself "Huh, maybe I should take some time to figure out how the hell girls work," while Zach watched this go down and repeatedly went "Dude, wtf."

The Shortest Path
Jun 21, 2012

It's a lovely morning on the forums, and you are a horrible goose.




Pirateaba is taking a 10 day break. Good, I hope it helps her relax.

Cicero
Dec 17, 2003

Jumpjet, melta, jumpjet. Repeat for ten minutes or until victory is assured.

Well, 7.22 D is certainly something. Goddamn.

Geneva treated Okasha like poo poo, and Okasha turned into a monster. Doesn't excuse what Okasha did at all, but it's just...sad. Didn't have to end up that way, I think.

Cicero fucked around with this message at 17:18 on May 13, 2020

Peachfart
Jan 21, 2017



Cicero posted:

Well, 7.22 D is certainly something. Goddamn.

Geneva treated Okasha like poo poo, and Okasha turned into a monster. Doesn't excuse what Okasha did at all, but it's just...sad. Didn't have to end up that way, I think.

I think the power of control over a living body is too much for a Slyphid to resist, it would have happened regardless.

Cicero
Dec 17, 2003

Jumpjet, melta, jumpjet. Repeat for ten minutes or until victory is assured.

Peachfart posted:

I think the power of control over a living body is too much for a Slyphid to resist, it would have happened regardless.
I'm curious as to whether there's actually some kind of genetic predisposition or chemical addiction going on that's specific to Selphids, or if it's just more of an "absolute power corrupts absolutely" kind of thing where, well, the host body can't really stop you from doing what you want.

Lunatic Sledge
Jun 8, 2013

choose your own horror isekai sci-fi Souls-like urban fantasy gamer simulator adventure

or don't?


what is the policy on linking your own stuff here

I've been doing a ... thing since 2017, a mix of images and way too much text, and have begun to realize I should maybe be marketing it as a web serial instead of a webcomic (when I started I didn't know web serials were a thing) (I still barely know anything about web serials)

90s Cringe Rock
Nov 29, 2006



Lunatic Sledge
Jun 8, 2013

choose your own horror isekai sci-fi Souls-like urban fantasy gamer simulator adventure

or don't?


alright, so in 2017 I started Blood is Mine, an interactive sci-fi / body horror story with (original) sprite art. I hosed up toward the end, so it doesn't stick the landing as well as I'd like, but overall I enjoyed working on it. People would post in the comments what the protagonist should do, and I'd write new pages accordingly; at the start I was updating 10 to 20 times per day, but the average size of each page eventually got so big that I had to slow it down.

I learned a lot from my mistakes writing BiM, and November of last year I started My Delirium Alcazar. It's a sequel, but (hopefully) you don't have to read BiM to understand what's going on in MDA. MDA is more fantasy/isekai compared to its predecessor, basically split into two parts: the waking reality, which is still done in sprite art and is the same almost-cyberpunk world as BiM, and a less consistent, more fantastical dream world, which I illustrate with my lovely, sketchy hand drawn art. I'm trying to skate a litRPG line with a lot of videogamey elements, but without going face first into full blown "YOU DO 36 DAMAGE TO ITS HP" business

it's a weird beast with a really dedicated reader base, but I'm struggling to expand my audience (partly because advertising sucks a fat one in 2020)

Safety Biscuits
Oct 21, 2010



Lunatic Sledge posted:

what is the policy on linking your own stuff here

Read the rules thread:

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

We've been getting a few requests lately from people who want to publicize their own works or the works of their personal friends and associates.

That's ok, and even encouraged, IF you

E: OK, you've already posted. Well, at least now there's a link

Lunatic Sledge
Jun 8, 2013

choose your own horror isekai sci-fi Souls-like urban fantasy gamer simulator adventure

or don't?


alright well this seems mostly--

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

If it's good, we want to read it!

aww poo poo

The Shortest Path
Jun 21, 2012

It's a lovely morning on the forums, and you are a horrible goose.




Yeah I'm not great at OP maintenance but I try to get all the goon authors on there. Lemme know if there's any I've missed.

A big flaming stink
Apr 26, 2010


Lunatic Sledge posted:

alright, so in 2017 I started Blood is Mine, an interactive sci-fi / body horror story with (original) sprite art. I hosed up toward the end, so it doesn't stick the landing as well as I'd like, but overall I enjoyed working on it. People would post in the comments what the protagonist should do, and I'd write new pages accordingly; at the start I was updating 10 to 20 times per day, but the average size of each page eventually got so big that I had to slow it down.

I learned a lot from my mistakes writing BiM, and November of last year I started My Delirium Alcazar. It's a sequel, but (hopefully) you don't have to read BiM to understand what's going on in MDA. MDA is more fantasy/isekai compared to its predecessor, basically split into two parts: the waking reality, which is still done in sprite art and is the same almost-cyberpunk world as BiM, and a less consistent, more fantastical dream world, which I illustrate with my lovely, sketchy hand drawn art. I'm trying to skate a litRPG line with a lot of videogamey elements, but without going face first into full blown "YOU DO 36 DAMAGE TO ITS HP" business

it's a weird beast with a really dedicated reader base, but I'm struggling to expand my audience (partly because advertising sucks a fat one in 2020)

yayyy you read my patreon post!

read Blood is Mine and/or My Delirium Alcazar folks, they're both Cool and Good

Anomalous Blowout
Feb 13, 2006

rock
ice
storm
abyss



It makes no attempt to sound human. It is atoms and stars.

*


Affi posted:

Okay just because its been jarringly no talk for the last couple of weeks except rapechat I will now list my top ten favorite web serials with extremely short notices on why I like em. Also maybe almost all of the webserials i've ever read?


1. Into the Mire - Just an extremely well written and enganging story.

Aw man hey after absolutely falling apart with illness the last couple months, coming back to this thread and seeing this as the first post since I'd last checked it was like drinking a cool beer on a hot day. Thanks so much. I needed that.

Sampatrick
Sep 26, 2012


In PGtE news, Red Axe is absolutely right and Cat is being a scumbag

The Prac Guide community is honestly just like the Worm community in that they will defend whatever the main character does regardless of what it was

Sampatrick fucked around with this message at 18:40 on May 19, 2020

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords



I enjoyed Super Minion more than I expected to. Itís unfortunate thereís so little of it.

Most of it is clearly someone riffing on Wormís world to make a supervillain story for a writathon. Still, surprisingly good, and commits to its novel concept of being told from the perspective of an escaped lab experiment successfully.

asur
Dec 28, 2012


Sampatrick posted:

In PGtE news, Red Axe is absolutely right and Cat is being a scumbag

The Prac Guide community is honestly just like the Worm community in that they will defend whatever the main character does regardless of what it was

Did people think Cat wasn't a scumbag? Her entire story is built around the end justifying the means. That doesn't make Red Axe right. Her position of burn it all down is even less defensible.

Cicero
Dec 17, 2003

Jumpjet, melta, jumpjet. Repeat for ten minutes or until victory is assured.

Morality-wise, Cat doesn't really seem worse than the heroes to me. The major ones we've been around like Tariq and Hanno also seem cool engaging in the indefensible. Tariq in particular is also very much "the ends justify the means".

And Red Axe is just a childish jackass.

violent sex idiot
Mar 24, 2007

O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight


Pillbug

pretty much everyone in the story is a poo poo head and life under the dead king is said to be pretty much utopian. they should surrender

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords



violent sex idiot posted:

pretty much everyone in the story is a poo poo head and life under the dead king is said to be pretty much utopian. they should surrender

Currently utopian.

The Dead King got that way by ritually sacrificing an entire nation. His realm is only a utopia because he needs it to be. When circumstances change, so will his treatment of his people.

Still, if I couldn't be born a Gnome, living under the Dead King wouldn't be a bad second choice.

Smiling Knight
May 31, 2011



violent sex idiot posted:

pretty much everyone in the story is a poo poo head and life under the dead king is said to be pretty much utopian. they should surrender

Said by who, exactly?

Sampatrick
Sep 26, 2012


Cicero posted:

Morality-wise, Cat doesn't really seem worse than the heroes to me. The major ones we've been around like Tariq and Hanno also seem cool engaging in the indefensible. Tariq in particular is also very much "the ends justify the means".

And Red Axe is just a childish jackass.

she was literally raped and attacked the person who raped her is the subtext of the story

tithin
Nov 14, 2003

Just a little bit of tweaking here...



Sampatrick posted:

she was literally raped and attacked the person who raped her is the subtext of the story

That's not subtext at all.
That's text. stated clearly, and openly, at several points in the story.


Ytlaya
Nov 13, 2005

0.000% of Communism has been built. Evil child-murdering billionaires still rule the world with a shit-eating grin.

I think Catherine has a tendency to get an idea in her head of how things are going to go and then take action under the assumption that the thing in question is definitely and unavoidably going to happen. The best example of this is her trip to the Dead King and Everdark. She did this because she was totally sure that the Crusade was going to continue and that she needed a military deterrent. Well, turns out that other circumstances (the Dead King invading Procer) ended the Crusade anyways. She basically got lucky that her Everdark trip worked out as well as it did. Though to be fair, Catherine is also basically a prodigy at understanding the story poo poo that guides Creation, so her instincts are better than most.

The most scummy thing she does is probably not the "ends justify the means" stuff so much as the "manipulating people" part. It's somewhat understandable due to the stakes involved and the level of power/influence she has, but the end result is that she's constantly trying to have control over everything and everyone around her (which is the thing that Hakram and I think Akua or something were pointing out a while back).

LLSix posted:

Currently utopian.

The Dead King got that way by ritually sacrificing an entire nation. His realm is only a utopia because he needs it to be. When circumstances change, so will his treatment of his people.

Still, if I couldn't be born a Gnome, living under the Dead King wouldn't be a bad second choice.

Living under the Dead King sucks rear end because you're sacrificed in your 20s (I think that's the age that was mentioned).

(Actually, did we ever hear this stuff from any reputable source other than Malicia, who was only pretending to be from the Serenity?)

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords



Any suggestions for upbeat superhero stories?

I'm finding I'm missing Super Minion rather a lot.


Wittgen posted:

I thought it made sense that Zorian and Taiven didn't end up together because Zorian already got burned super hard by Taiven and had put quite a bit of energy into moving past that. That kind of thing is tough enough to backtrack without a big clusterfuck like the time loop. Then post time loop, she thinks she's older than him and way better at combat magic. But surprise he's older and so far beyond her that the revelation of his skills is crushing to her. They seemed like a great example of two people who could have been a good couple with better timing.

More slice of life stuff with Zorian building his life and repaying his accumulated debts would be great. I think the author said that if he wrote more in the world, it would be exactly that, so I'm definitely looking forward to that in the murky future.
More Mother of Learning would be awesome, but I'd be surprised if we get it. The author was obviously struggling towards the end.

LLSix fucked around with this message at 06:57 on May 21, 2020

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.


College Slice

Not seen much talk of it, but Pale is pretty cool so far.

Omi no Kami
Feb 19, 2014




LLSix posted:

More Mother of Learning would be awesome, but I'd be surprised if we get it. The author was obviously struggling towards the end.

What really confused me was his decision to make the finale action-oriented. The story was always at its best when it was Sneaky Jerkass and Artillery Friend Solve Problems, and at least personally I would've vastly preferred if the post-loop story had been more like a spy thriller, where both sides ran around turning assets and burning each other's operatives and stuff. Making the climax Dragon Cyclops wrestling Angel Cthulhu while a shitload of loop-empowered mages flatten the city felt like it played into none of the story's (or Zorian's) strengths.

Argue
Sep 29, 2005

I represent the Philippines

I was browsing through lists of web fiction looking for something worth reading and after trudging through a bunch of badly written junk, I found one that seems to be decent. I'm only a few chapters in, but Undermind is about a girl who--get this--is transported into a fantasy world. Except in this one, she also becomes a giant troll. Her only power is a minimap that highlights points of interest--no levels or skills--and it's also pretty clear that the author hates number crunchy stories, so none of that either. The prose is good and the story seems promising so far, there's a healthy number of chapters, and it seems to be consistently updating weekly.

Lunatic Sledge
Jun 8, 2013

choose your own horror isekai sci-fi Souls-like urban fantasy gamer simulator adventure

or don't?


I'm half tempted to start uploading something to Royal Road just for exposure, I just don't know what to actually upload

90% of my attention right now is on writing MDA, and I feel like just... reuploading that to there would not fly very well. The CYOA property is kind of important

I also feel like if I start writing something new just to put on Royal Road it's going to suck

convincing people to go to a website and try a new thing blows, I'm about to resort to paying twitch streamers for ad blocks because I've tried everything else. I miss being able to just, buy ad space on sites, instead of everything being an elaborate fifty thousand dollar campaign to get the most Synergy from your Brand or whatever

A big flaming stink
Apr 26, 2010


Lunatic Sledge posted:

I'm half tempted to start uploading something to Royal Road just for exposure, I just don't know what to actually upload

90% of my attention right now is on writing MDA, and I feel like just... reuploading that to there would not fly very well. The CYOA property is kind of important

I also feel like if I start writing something new just to put on Royal Road it's going to suck

convincing people to go to a website and try a new thing blows, I'm about to resort to paying twitch streamers for ad blocks because I've tried everything else. I miss being able to just, buy ad space on sites, instead of everything being an elaborate fifty thousand dollar campaign to get the most Synergy from your Brand or whatever

you should definately try to network with established web serial writers. I think getting someone to give your comic a shoutout might work pretty well, especially considering the pseudo serial nature of your comic to begin with

Wittgen
Oct 13, 2012

We have decided to decline your offer of a butt kicking.


Maybe you could also edit your profile or av so there is a link to your thing?

A big flaming stink
Apr 26, 2010


Wittgen posted:

Maybe you could also edit your profile or av so there is a link to your thing?

its in the OP

Lunatic Sledge
Jun 8, 2013

choose your own horror isekai sci-fi Souls-like urban fantasy gamer simulator adventure

or don't?


hitting up other serial writers is a good idea, though I'm going to have to figure out whose poo poo's still active

adding the link to my av is also a good idea when I get paid, which is soon

Milkfred E. Moore
Aug 27, 2006

The fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth.


Your best bet is networking with serial writers who are starting out at around the same time you are. That way, you're helping each other. You are unlikely to get any assistance from 'established' web serial personalities, as all of them are generally quite aware that they can't afford to lose readers or risk competition. If you want to take a shot at someone established, try hitting up Alexander Wales. He's a cool dude who will let you post stuff on /r/rational just to get eyes on it, even if it's not rationalfic, for example.

A big flaming stink
Apr 26, 2010


Katalepsis 8.5: holy gently caress heather is going full doc ock

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Hungry
Jul 14, 2006



A big flaming stink posted:

Katalepsis 8.5: holy gently caress heather is going full doc ock

Somebody in the discord channel said that exact same thing and made me burst out laughing.

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