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Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
BACK FOR 2018

Bill Belichick, New England Patriots
Todd Bowles, New York Jets
Adam Gase, Miami Dolphins
Sean McDermott, Buffalo Bills
Mike Tomlin, Pittsburgh Steelers
John Harbaugh, Baltimore Ravens
Marvin Lewis, Cincinnati Bengals
Hue Jackson, Cleveland Browns
Doug Marrone, Jacksonville Jaguars
Bill O'Brien, Houston Texans
Andy Reid, Kansas City Chiefs
Anthony Lynn, Los Angeles Chargers
Vance Joseph, Denver Broncos
Doug Pederson, Philadelphia Eagles
Jason Garrett, Dallas Cowboys
Jay Gruden, Washington
Mike Zimmer, Minnesota Vikings
Mike McCarthy, Green Bay Packers
Sean Payton, New Orleans Saints
Ron Rivera, Carolina Panthers
Dan Quinn, Atlanta Falcons
Dirk Koetter, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Sean McVay, Los Angeles Rams
Pete Carroll, Seattle Seahawks
Kyle Shanahan, San Francisco 49ers




Ben McAdoo, New York Giants
Chuck Pagano, Indianapolis Colts
Mike Mularkey, Tennessee Titans
Jack Del Rio, Oakland Raiders
Jim Caldwell, Detroit Lions
John Fox, Chicago Bears
Bruce Arians, Arizona Cardinals (retired)

NEW HEAD COACHES

Oakland Raiders: Jon Gruden
Chicago Bears: Matt Nagy (Chiefs OC)
Tennessee Titans: Mike Vrabel (Texans DC)
Arizona Cardinals: Steve Wilks (Panthers DC)
New York Giants: Pat Shurmur (Vikings OC)
Detroit Lions: Matt Patricia (Patriots DC)
Indianapolis Colts: Frank Reich (Eagles OC)


GENERAL MANAGERS

code:
Team               Out               In
New York Giants    Jerry Reese       Dave Gettleman
Green Bay Packers  Ted Thompson      Brian Gutenkunst
Houston Texans     Rick Smith        Brian Gaines

Benne fucked around with this message at 23:27 on Feb 11, 2018

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The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*
You can toss Harbaugh onto the mild list. Some Baltimore beat writers, particularly the Sun's troll in chief Mike Preston, believe Harbaugh's situation is more precarious than the FO is letting on. The Ravens' owner did fire Billick right after an extension due to a disappointing season on the heels of mediocrity. If Baltimore really under performs, say 6-10 I could see Harbaugh getting the ax for someone who actually knows how to run an offense. Not that I would agree with that move but I could see it happening.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

The Puppy Bowl posted:

You can toss Harbaugh onto the mild list. Some Baltimore beat writers, particularly the Sun's troll in chief Mike Preston, believe Harbaugh's situation is more precarious than the FO is letting on. The Ravens' owner did fire Billick right after an extension due to a disappointing season on the heels of mediocrity. If Baltimore really under performs, say 6-10 I could see Harbaugh getting the ax for someone who actually knows how to run an offense. Not that I would agree with that move but I could see it happening.

I considered it before erring on the side of caution. Maybe I'm being kind to Harbaugh, but his past record is too good to make me think Ozzie will pull the plug after two down years (which can be excused by bad injury luck, if you're willing to accept that as an excuse). If they get off to a slow start, then we might be on to something, but IMO he's earned the whole "wait and see" deal.

E: Actually you talked me into "mild" so yeah, I'll put him there.

BrownThunder
Oct 26, 2005

EXTEND BEN!
Forever and ever and ever

Marvin lewis is absolutely moderate

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*

Benne posted:

I considered it before erring on the side of caution. Maybe I'm being kind to Harbaugh, but his past record is too good to make me think Ozzie will pull the plug after two down years (which can be excused by bad injury luck, if you're willing to accept that as an excuse). If they get off to a slow start, then we might be on to something, but IMO he's earned the whole "wait and see" deal.

E: Actually you talked me into "mild" so yeah, I'll put him there.

I'd agree except it's not Ozzie Newsome's call, It's Steve Bisciotti's. Harbaugh is a good coach regarding organizing a team, setting goals, keeping everyone on board, but his actual knowledge of the Xs and Os is sub par so he needs decent Coordinators to handle the details while he handles the general direction and makes the big decisions. He hasn't had that in recent years and Ozzie Newsome frankly hasn't built talented teams. Since Ozzie is sacrosanct in Baltimore, and Steve Bisciotti is essentially a big dumb fan, the blame for recent mediocrity has mostly fallen on Harbaugh.

Harbaugh is the same as Flacco in that you know that you could do better but man the odds of landing someone even comparable are low so why chance it. The main difference being that Flacco is actually amazing and just needz weaponz©

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

marvin lewis retires from coaching after 2017 and the current Bengals coordinator who is given the most credit this season takes over his role, even though neither of them should be the head coach of a team, which happens commonly in the NFL league

MD2020
May 30, 2003

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
Doug Pederson might be in the Mild category. While I don't think is a "playoffs or bust" year, I think management is looking to see significant improvement in both the development of Carson Wentz and Pederson's coaching abilities.

Without that development, Pederson could be on the hot seat, especially with some rumblings that Schwartz could be gunning for the job.

Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!

Fox's seat is hotter than hot, too, and he's absolutely a candidate for a mid-season firing. The only thing he and Pace have seemed to agree upon lately is their mutual hatred of Cutler (despite a strong denial from Pace, there were multiple reports that Fox was blindsided along with Glennon about the Trubisky move in the draft), and even the normally enthusiastic George McCaskey gave a stoic "we'll see what happens this season" last week when he was asked about the future of the front office and coaching staff. Pace is probably safe despite making a lot of boneheaded moves--he has two more seasons after this one on his deal and the Bears historically don't eat multiple years of a contract--but 3 - 13 last year was the Bears' worst record in the 16-game era. If November comes and 8 - 8 seems like a pipe dream at best, Fox is toast.

Timby fucked around with this message at 17:24 on Sep 9, 2017

b0ng
Jan 16, 2004

Thats a nice Game 7 you have there. Would be a shame if somebody nailed it down.
I feel like Bill O'Brien shouldn't be in the completely safe category. Wasn't it just last year there were murmurs that he could possibly be traded to another team or just leaving? That was weird. His reputation as a QB guru and the endless parade of garbagemen at QB has been wearing thin on some fans.

He could probably go 9-7 again and be safe but if savage/Watson are terrible that could doom them to a worse record than that.

Sour Diesel
Jan 30, 2010

Harbaugh is a grea game-planner as well. The team usually plays up to superior teams (but down to inferior ones too often) his biggest problem is he's way too loyal to his staff. He fired Cam-Cam way too late because even he knew that SB window was shutting. Really frustrating that Boldin was misused for so long.

The dude really needs to get rid of Dean Pees and if a disaster season happens that might be what kills him. This season the OL is probably going to ruin an otherwise decent roster, and the defense is stacked and will over-perform regardless of how Pees uses them. If the team does okay and the defense starts loving up that's the only way I can see Pees getting shitcanned.

I really like Harbs but he needs to move quicker on killing bad coordinators.

axeil
Feb 14, 2006
The Dark Lord is currently in last place in the NFL. imo it's time to move on.

Also thanks for getting this thread up, should be another good year in the coaching carousel.

MD2020 posted:

Doug Pederson might be in the Mild category. While I don't think is a "playoffs or bust" year, I think management is looking to see significant improvement in both the development of Carson Wentz and Pederson's coaching abilities.

Without that development, Pederson could be on the hot seat, especially with some rumblings that Schwartz could be gunning for the job.

Yeah Jeff Lurie said he expected to see "progress" this year but didn't define what that is. There are also rumors that Jim Schwartz is sticking around as DC because he wants to take over if/when Pederson gets fired.

I don't see it though, Pederson is really well-liked by everyone. We'd have to implode and go 2-14 or something for him to get fired.

axeil fucked around with this message at 20:39 on Sep 9, 2017

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*

Sour Diesel posted:

Harbaugh is a grea game-planner as well. The team usually plays up to superior teams (but down to inferior ones too often) his biggest problem is he's way too loyal to his staff. He fired Cam-Cam way too late because even he knew that SB window was shutting. Really frustrating that Boldin was misused for so long.

The dude really needs to get rid of Dean Pees and if a disaster season happens that might be what kills him. This season the OL is probably going to ruin an otherwise decent roster, and the defense is stacked and will over-perform regardless of how Pees uses them. If the team does okay and the defense starts loving up that's the only way I can see Pees getting shitcanned.

I really like Harbs but he needs to move quicker on killing bad coordinators.

Considering that team management like that is supposed to be a strength of Harbuagh's I agree. The problem is as you say, Pees isn't terrible enough to force pressure on Harbs to fire him but a more competent coordinator could do a lot more with the personnel he has had. Plus the 4th quarter defensive collapses absolutely fall on him for not having any sense of invention late in games and being unable to alter his game plan to suit offenses changing things up late. I think we would of won like 4 games more if not for the late collapses last year. The Steelers game was inexcusable.

It all hurts all the more when you think we could have promoted Teryl Austin instead of him when Pagano got snagged.

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat
One thing to remember about Caldwell is that he doesn't have a contract after this year. The temperature on his seat could go up very quickly if they're slow out of the gate.

LiquidFriend
Apr 5, 2005

Cavauro posted:

marvin lewis retires from coaching after 2017 and the current Bengals coordinator who is given the most credit this season takes over his role, even though neither of them should be the head coach of a team, which happens commonly in the NFL league
Jay Gruden gets the job after he takes the blame for dysfunction in DC and is fired. Gruden will fix andey.

The kind of/kind of not surprise will be Bill O'Brien. Savage will be mediocre which will lead to them turning to Watson, who will struggle and someone has to take the fall.

LiquidFriend fucked around with this message at 05:03 on Sep 10, 2017

ShakeZula
Jun 17, 2003

Nobody move and nobody gets hurt.

Barring a deep playoff run Pagano is 1000% gone after this year. Ballard took some heat for not firing him as his first official act, but keeping him around actually makes some sense if you view this as a bridge year in the rebuild. No sense bringing in a new coach and new scheme when the franchise QB is going to have no offseason and you're already turning over a huge chunk of the roster.

The popular theory among Indy media is that Ballard replaces Pagano with Dave Toub after this season. I have to say, that sounds like a good deal to me.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

ShakeZula posted:

The popular theory among Indy media is that Ballard replaces Pagano with Dave Toub after this season. I have to say, that sounds like a good deal to me.

Whenever this comes up I'm torn between thinking "Keep your dirty hands off of him!" and "he really deserves it."

LiquidFriend
Apr 5, 2005

gently caress you guys, Toub needs to stay forever.

Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!

ShakeZula posted:

The popular theory among Indy media is that Ballard replaces Pagano with Dave Toub after this season. I have to say, that sounds like a good deal to me.

Goddammit, this is why I wanted the Bears to hire Ballard instead of Pace ... but then Ballard told Ted Phillips that he sucks poo poo and that he wanted to report directly to George McCaskey and torpedoed himself. :(

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

Definitely add Bill O'Brien to the hot seat

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


I absolutely think BOB and Marvin Lewis are getting hot, and the TNF game should be reallllll interesting

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Payton and Brees are connected at the hip

when one goes, the other will.

bill obrien has no business coaching in the nfl.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Is Pagano even making it to October at this rate

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Benne posted:

Is Pagano even making it to October at this rate

yeah you probably fire him and promote chud to see if he's your guy moving forward

could be a tampa thing like koetter

Durandal1707
Oct 11, 2013
Chud deservers another shot to be an HC. He got a raw deal in Cleveland.

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




Pagano is so fired

Getting torched by Goff

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Yeah, need to add a new category called "Nuclear".

And throw Pagano on the list.

sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

How is the thread title not "No Luck Chuck"

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

sharknado slashfic posted:

How is the thread title not "No Luck Chuck"

Who knows what cocktail of Ambien and Jack Daniels Irsay is on right now.

mcmagic
Jul 1, 2004

If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!
IDK if Bowles is on the hot seat but he should be.

axeil
Feb 14, 2006

Colostomy Bag posted:

Yeah, need to add a new category called "Nuclear".

And throw Pagano on the list.

Has a coach ever been fired in Week 1?

Because we might see it. Good god.

sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

I don't think Marvin Lewis is terrible or anything but I think the Bengals need a change of scenery

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Getting 40-burgered by the Jared Goff Rams is probably not a good thing for your job security!

Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008


Toilet Rascal

Benne posted:

Is Pagano even making it to October at this rate

I hope not. He is 0-2 every year except the Leukemia year where Bruce Arians kept saving his rear end.

zhel
Aug 2, 2010

I don't see how Lewis makes it through the year. I know it's only one awful game into this season, but how much more of this can Cincinnati take?

Simplex
Jun 29, 2003

Intruder posted:

Definitely add Bill O'Brien to the hot seat

Yeah I stand by my assertion last year that Houston's coaching restructuring was a prelude to them firing BOB. He basically has one job to fix the offense and it looks awful again

zhel
Aug 2, 2010

Simplex posted:

Yeah I stand by my assertion last year that Houston's coaching restructuring was a prelude to them firing BOB. He basically has one job to fix the offense and it looks awful again

He's lucky ownership isn't as quick to change coaches as he is to change QBs.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Here's a quick Week 1 recap of the Colts


--Marlon Mack scores a touchdown but the refs incorrectly rule him out at the 1. Replay shows him in bounds and hitting the pylon. Play can and should be easily overturned.

--Instead of challenging, Pagano hurries his offense to the line of scrimmage and runs a play. The Colts lose yardage and eventually settle for a field goal.

--It's now 10-3 Rams when it should've been 10-7 Rams with a bit of a momentum swing. The Colts never come close again.



How does this man still have a job

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
It's probably someone else's job to look for that type of thing and let the head coach know, but that someone else would have been hired by Pagano anyway so....

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


McCarthy is about as close to mild as you can get without actually crossing over.

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Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
We will all be cold in the ground decades from now and McCarthy will still be employing Dom Capers

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