Post the stupidest thing that your wife buys

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Post the stupidest thing that your wife buys

«‹›6 »

Lucky Guy: Jan 24, 2013; TY for no bm

insulin

# ? Sep 14, 2017 05:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 02:10

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Pick posted:

just paypal me money or google wallet or w/e at sendthemtopick@gmail.com and any day i wake up to $10 is a day i don't make threads. ain't gonna give patrebongs 15% for that.

Patreon makes scamming nerds for money simple and convenient for all involved.

If you can't be bothered to set up an account and maybe some patron-exclusive content, then I can't be bothered to be scammed!

# ? Sep 14, 2017 05:09

Ashmole: Oct 5, 2008; _{This wish was granted by Former DILF}

Tampons

# ? Sep 14, 2017 05:21

The Fuzzy Hulk: Nov 22, 2007; ASK ME ABOUT CROSSING THE STREAMS

At least $2500.00 in Scrapbooking stuff. I have yet to see a scrapbook.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 05:46

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

The Fuzzy Hulk posted:

At least $2500.00 in Scrapbooking stuff. I have yet to see a scrapbook.

you have given her no happy memories

# ? Sep 14, 2017 05:56

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Pick posted:

you have given her no happy memories

# ? Sep 14, 2017 05:58

spinderella: Jul 15, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

The Fuzzy Hulk posted:

At least $2500.00 in Scrapbooking stuff. I have yet to see a scrapbook.

drat. That's a lot of paper n crap.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 05:59

rio: Mar 20, 2008

All of those husband things sound great actually and aren't stupid.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:01

shovelbum: Oct 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Pick posted:

you have given her no happy memories

God drat!

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:09

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

My wife has literally not been shopping without me since she bought her wedding dress in 2015.

3/5 of her tops are tech giveaway t-shirts, and another 1/5 is souvenir t-shirts or Disney t-shirts her mom bought at the Disney outlet.

I guess my answer is the wedding dress because I live in fear that one day she'll come to her senses.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:18

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Beachcomber posted:

My wife has literally not been shopping without me since she bought her wedding dress in 2015.

3/5 of her tops are tech giveaway t-shirts, and another 1/5 is souvenir t-shirts or Disney t-shirts her mom bought at the Disney outlet.

I guess my answer is the wedding dress because I live in fear that one day she'll come to her senses.

that the bars are loose or what

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:19

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Pick posted:

you have given her no happy memories

rekt

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:21

a bone to pick: Sep 14, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

Pick posted:

you have given her no happy memories

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:25

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; It's how her species communicates

Pick posted:

you have given her no happy memories

I wish you didn't have to start lovely threads to get these good posts in.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:28

Knight: Dec 23, 2000; SPACE-A-HOLIC; Taco Defender

She has a collector habit that ranges from old medical equipment and books to geek figurines, but the silliest thing has to be the overpriced Funko Pop figures. Beyond that there's so little difference between them that you could swap the figures and it would take a long while to notice ("but this one has a hat!"), there's a wall of them stacked so half of them aren't even visible, they're against the wall and covered by other figures.

My dumbest thing is a cube of blurays, pretty much stored the same way (unopened, covering each other) and with multiple versions because they changed the cover a bit.

We are dumb together

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:38

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

Pick posted:

you have given her no happy memories

holy poo poo :wth:

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:39

VideoGameVet: May 14, 2005; It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion. It is by the juice of Java that pedaling acquires speed, the teeth acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my bike in motion.

Shoes .... when there are over 200 pairs in a bedroom sized closet.
Handbags ... when there are over 50 in a bedroom sized closet.
Clothes? ... I have a small corner of this closet, the rest is filled to the brim.

Fortunately, she bought most of that before I met her, so other than space it's not too much of a pain. And she's still hot enough to get hit on by guys half her age.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:39

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

Pick posted:

What's the dumbest thing your wife buys?

-- Weird crumbly soap from LUSH?

-- Some sort of fragrance thing that makes your toilet smell like a big turd, covered in flowers?

-- Some sort of hellish scraper thing for, apparently, skin on her feet, apparently?

-- So much nail polish

-- Sheets? wtf

-- Coasters even though all your furniture is plastic and coasters don't protect it from anything

-- Novelty holiday decorations that gently caress up the function of something actually necessary (e.g. festive santa face that goes over the doorknob)

If you are a wife, what's the dumbest thing your husband buys?

-- Steam games he never plays

-- Kits to make/do something he never makes or does

-- Electronic gizmos to track his fitness that he doesn't use or wear. he is corpulent.

-- Security cameras he only bought so he could watch recordings of the babysitter and masturbate because the only thing keeping him from becoming a child molester is his own cowardice

-- "every day carry"

I'm starting to wonder about you, Pick

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:43

Pimpcasso: Mar 13, 2002; VOLS BITCH

Plants

She is a notorious plant murderer. I don't know if she expects me to take care of the bastards or what when she buys them but every year around spring time she'll buy $200 of plants and I end up hauling their crumpled husks and the plastic things they came in to the dump.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:57

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

my bat mitzvah ROCKED posted:

Plants

She is a notorious plant murderer. I don't know if she expects me to take care of the bastards or what when she buys them but every year around spring time she'll buy $200 of plants and I end up hauling their crumpled husks and the plastic things they came in to the dump.

every year you haul $200 worth of plants to the dump

man, you are an rear end in a top hat

# ? Sep 14, 2017 06:59

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

You should compost them and use them as fertilizer for the next years plants

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:00

Pimpcasso: Mar 13, 2002; VOLS BITCH

gnarlyhotep posted:

every year you haul $200 worth of plants to the dump

man, you are an rear end in a top hat

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:01

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

my bat mitzvah ROCKED posted:

Plants

She is a notorious plant murderer. I don't know if she expects me to take care of the bastards or what when she buys them but every year around spring time she'll buy $200 of plants and I end up hauling their crumpled husks and the plastic things they came in to the dump.

You should just leave them at home and keep watering them and like pruning them and poo poo. Maybe she won't notice they're dead and won't buy any new ones.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:02

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

my bat mitzvah ROCKED posted:

no, thats you

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:02

barbecue at the folks: Jul 20, 2007

Pick posted:

you have given her no happy memories

thread redeemed

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:04

Pimpcasso: Mar 13, 2002; VOLS BITCH

a hole-y ghost posted:

You should just leave them at home and keep watering them and like pruning them and poo poo. Maybe she won't notice they're dead and won't buy any new ones.

Sir I watch football and hockey and refuse to become a plant man

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:05

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

my bat mitzvah ROCKED posted:

Sir I watch football and hockey and refuse to become a plant man

well at any rate it's better than if she was "rescuing" wild pigs and stray dogs

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:06

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

my bat mitzvah ROCKED posted:

Sir I watch football and hockey and refuse to become a plant man

how are you male and had a bat mitzvah?

I think you're lying on a much grander scale

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:07

Pimpcasso: Mar 13, 2002; VOLS BITCH

gnarlyhotep posted:

how are you male and had a bat mitzvah?

I think you're lying on a much grander scale

Vols bitch

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:08

cap-n-crunch: Dec 29, 2008; A garden of modest ambition.

Lengthy black teenagers.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:08

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

gnarlyhotep posted:

how are you male and had a bat mitzvah?

I think you're lying on a much grander scale

That's something a TERF would say.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:08

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

ok, whatever

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:09

Orkin Mang: Nov 1, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

the wife is theoriginal 'domestic terrorist'.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:09

Mr. Meagles: Apr 30, 2004; Out here, everything hurts

weight loss wraps

whatever they are, I don't care

she's 5'4" and 120lbs

but she buys the wraps

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:09

Pimpcasso: Mar 13, 2002; VOLS BITCH

Tom Gorman posted:

weight loss wraps

whatever they are, I don't care

she's 5'4" and 120lbs

but she buys the wraps

Maybe they're for you fatboy

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:11

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

I didn't know you were married, Kuato.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:11

Orkin Mang: Nov 1, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

you can make a bomb out of anything

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:12

Mr. Meagles: Apr 30, 2004; Out here, everything hurts

my bat mitzvah ROCKED posted:

Maybe they're for you fatboy

at least I don't spend money on things that are obviously BALONEY

except when I'm buying actual bologna, which is good if you fry it and have it w/ eggs

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:13

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

I finally stopped caring about 10% stickers at the grocery store. That weird flavor of chips needs to be at least 20% off of I'll just not buy it at all.

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 02:10

Orkin Mang: Nov 1, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

flinstones vitamins, brontosauris steaks

# ? Sep 14, 2017 07:17

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Post the stupidest thing that your wife buys

«‹›6 »