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CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

What to do?
Write-in

1) Gather as much berries as we can.

2) Head to high ground; let's get our bearings.

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Hexenritter
May 20, 2001

Buncha slack-jawed faggots around here

My gods this is awesome. Half a dozen posts in and we're driving a giant spider

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

No need to sign, we'll take care of that.


Lipstick Apathy

Could be worse, we could've been reborn as the spider.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Yes, gathering food is the most important task. Without it, I would have no energy to heal and move around.

Unfortunately, I am just an average truck driver who have zero knowledge of survival skill besides stopping at a convenient store to resupply or refuel. The modern world has make survival an unnecessary skill. Making money, however, is more important.

I can only gather as much berries as I could and poison test the other colors one on this… Spider thing. It is still alive after the gathering, but it’s barely filling since they are so tiny, but it should provide all the vitamins I need to stay normal… As best as I could. So berry do have to be discarded when it cause a violent vomit expulsion from the hole and I have to call it a day with the spider becoming physically weaker.

The best I can do for shelter at this point is to move the poor spider under a large tree. I hope there wouldn’t be any rain tonight.

My optimistic hope was swiftly crush to pieces by my poor luck as THUNDERSTORM with stormy wind lasting through the whole night until morning. I am already soaked with saliva anyway. I want to retreat into a bush, but the spider seem to be sleeping, so I can’t do much about it. I am so getting sick tomorrow.

The moment I woke up, the storm has stopped. I immediately check my status again, and all major injuries becomes minor, and minor become ‘scar’ with ‘disinfected’ in brackets on all of them. I also gained Bad Sleep in the same menu. My Hp is 6/10.

Surprisingly, I am not sick. Could luck be on my side for once?

Lost Venus Spider
Gained Dead Venus Spider


No, because my spider seem to have died sometime last night. Perhaps by the berry poison or it should not constantly open its mouth and/or drinks volumes of rainwaters overnight. I am no animal doctor, and more pity would be given from my heart to this creature if it had not tried to eat me. Still, I would rather ride that thing than walk.

1) What should I do to the spider corpse? I won’t risk eating this thing that might be berry-poisoned.
A) Using its teeth as improvise knife, I dissect all its non-organic part and hold it all in my arms.
B) Leave it.
C) Bury it.
D) Stick a piece of wood in front of it as a makeshift tombstone and offer it a prayer.
E) C and D
F) Write-in

Next I moved up a hill to take a good look of the surrounding. It wasn’t a tall hill, so all I can see are a mile worth of forest in all direction. Yet, I can vague hear some sort of loud galloping noise to the north. It might be monster, or it might be a civilization. Considering I would meet another monster eventually, I may as well go for it. There’s nothing left to lose with this decision.

The sound getting louder as I approaches until I came out of the greenery to find a leveled soil path! This flatness! The trace of lines! It’s a road! A goddamn road to civilized world!

A shiny chariot with a strange merge with a top part of car connected with windshield rollup windows pulled by two white horses riding down the road.

Finally! Finally! I waves high and jumping while ignoring the agitated pain on my back!

-1 HP

My excitement for salvation can’t be described with simple words! But, Th-this driver seem familiar?

“Negghhhh!? Is that you, Kim Clarkson!?” Dick Bastardry pops its head out of the window with his usual villainous accent. He’s still wearing his purple driver uniform. He grins as he inspect me up and down my torn cloth and terrible wet state. “You look like poo poo. Nyehehehe.”

“Hey.” I tried to retort, but that would risk losing my opportunity to save myself. “Can, can you get me to safety? There are monsters in the forest.”

Dick leans his face closer towards me with his stupid grin and says, “Hell no, use your own trait and gift to survive!”

I was confounded. “My bad luck trait? What gifts?”

He stares at me wide eyed for a moment and then lean back in to laugh with his palm in his face and other arm holding his stomach. The loud laughing continues a bit too long before he can continues. “So you got send to the left door, neyy?”

I knew that left door was bad news. Just as I was about to ask more detail…

“Nehihihihi” A laughing voice that similar to Dick’s villainous chuckle. A familiar head that pop out with its tongue out. It’s my dog!

“Hot Wing! I am so glad to see you!” I exclaim in excitement to my therapy dog at out reunion. He is more than a family member who accompanied me in the truck for a couple years. We are the perfect duo with the unbreakable bond of friendship.

“Rfol” It replied to me in a strange bark that I never heard before. Then, Dick moves his hand to… Pat of its head.

“That’s my dog.” I glare at the man who is touching my best friend.

“Oh, is it?” Dick replies with his everlasting grip on his permanent scheming face of villainhood. Then he turns back to face the dog and asks, “Who do you want to be with, Muttfy?”

“Bark! Bark!” My(?) dog barked in excitement at Dick. His tail swings left and right unlike before.

I claps my hand to get the dog’s attention and say, “Hot Wing! It’s me! Kim! Come to Papa!” I repeat the gesture of coming to me and clapping.

“Hmuuuumm…” Hot Wing(?) mourned and hides behind Dick.

Learned [Intimidation] Skill

WHAT!? Why did I learn Intimidation from my pet dog!? What the hell!? Is this menu loving with me!?

Dick pats the dog’s head gently and make him easily calmed down. He never let me out of his sight to make sure I can see his victorious grin and lovely face. “It would seem your dog prefers to be with me.” He stated the… Obvious.

My therapeutic dog has betrayed me.

Man best friend, the best companion, trained to take care of me, the last thing that give up on me, and it always love me. The therapist said.

“Hahahaha! Look at your dismayed face!” He laughed again.

“Nehihihihi” My ex-best friend joined in.

Kill me now.

I stood there pondering the reason for my existence while they laughs at me. Finally, Dick says, “Ohh, I was going to take my revenge on you for killing me, but you know what? You are so poo poo, I will pity YOU!” He then toss a couple of coins at the ground and shouts “BEGGER!” before driving away laughing.

Maybe he is right; I have hardly any dignity in myself after what I went through with that spider. My whole life has been poo poo, and it’s just filled with bad luck even in my previous life. This impossible meeting with Dick also confirmed the description of my Bad Luck trait. The world hates me, god hates me, my dog hates me, and I hate myself.

I stares at those scattered bronze and one silver coin on the muddy ground.

2) Should I pick it up? Maybe I could buy a rope to hang myself with it.
A) Yes
B) No
C) Write-in

Nyaa fucked around with this message at Sep 27, 2017 around 17:50

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

1) What should I do to the spider corpse? I won’t risk eating this thing that might be berry-poisoned.

F) Remove the teeth for improvised weaponry, and bury the thing, give it a grave marker, plus offer a prayer.

Nyaa posted:

Is that you, Kim Clarkson!?

CLARKSON!!!

Nyaa posted:

2) Should I pick it up? Maybe I could buy a rope to hang myself with it.

A) Pick it up; beggars can't be choosers.

Xarbala
Feb 13, 2011

Rolling Thunder: War to the Knife, Knife to the Hilt

Why? , that's why.

Rest in peace, Hot Wings Two, you were a good Venusian Toothy Spiderbeast.

Also oh no, Hot Wings One has betrayed us to that Dick.

CourValant posted:

F) Remove the teeth for improvised weaponry, and bury the thing, give it a grave marker, plus offer a prayer.


CLARKSON!!!


A) Pick it up; beggars can't be choosers.

Not gonna say no to a handout, gently caress. Seconding this.

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008



B. pfff gently caress man eating spiders let it rot.

Write In: poke the box with the ? symbol tucked in the upper right corner of our vision. Accept the tutorial quest line.

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

No need to sign, we'll take care of that.


Lipstick Apathy

1 A
2 A
- If Dick's only going to be 99% of the bastard he was in his previous life, who are we to refuse his smug charity? We'll get our dog back eventually though.

Once we get to a town let's see if there's some kind of racing circuit.

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars




We need to go find out if we're still something our dog would recognize. Mirror, water, whatever. Also maybe we smell like dead monster spider and Hot Wing didn't appreciate it. (On the other hand 'Hot Wing' is bros with our nemesis so maybe he isn't Hot Wing or even a dog?)

1 - F, 2 - A (maybe don't kill ourselves though), + tutorial

Xarbala
Feb 13, 2011

Rolling Thunder: War to the Knife, Knife to the Hilt

Why? , that's why.

Good idea, let's definitely try to get a look at our reflection somewhere. Here's crossin fingers.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



I had a day of bad luck. It involves unfinished trip through the worst traffic area, and toilet.

Xarbala
Feb 13, 2011

Rolling Thunder: War to the Knife, Knife to the Hilt

Why? , that's why.

Hope you're feelin alright, Nyaa.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

I had a day of bad luck. It involves unfinished trip through the worst traffic area, and toilet.

You made it to though, right? Or, at least had a bottle in the car?

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Yes, I am fine. Just pointing out my bad luck in the fantasy bad luck thread.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

Yes, I am fine. Just pointing out my bad luck in the fantasy bad luck thread.

It hits closer than you know, actually. They're both also car related.

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008



Since we're talking about poo poo going wrong. I may have a mold-originated respiratory thing!



I want to shank my landlord.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Blasphemaster posted:

Since we're talking about poo poo going wrong. I may have a mold-originated respiratory thing!



I want to shank my landlord.

If you have the medical diagnosis to prove this, and can also show the same strain of mold in your apartment, then you have an actionable case.

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008



CourValant posted:

If you have the medical diagnosis to prove this, and can also show the same strain of mold in your apartment, then you have an actionable case.

That's the idea. The documented 10 day delay between reporting the issue and their incredibly reckless 'cleanup effort' is also a thing.

Who the gently caress drags wet moldy carpet through the unit without at least bagging it first? People who deserve a shanking.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Blasphemaster posted:

That's the idea. The documented 10 day delay between reporting the issue and their incredibly reckless 'cleanup effort' is also a thing.

Who the gently caress drags wet moldy carpet through the unit without at least bagging it first? People who deserve a shanking.

Well, get better soon; take the bastard to the cleaners.

Also, hopefully no one actually shanks him, because you just discussed it online.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



The betrayal of my therapeutic dog lingers in my mind. The recent memory of burying the creepy spider also comes up at the same time. That spider is somewhat a pet to me, and I have lost both pet in one day. What can be more depressing than that? How will I cope with my awful life of bad luck? Go back to the grave and hug spider grave? It’s impossible for me to dig an actual grave so I only piled dirt over the corpse and stick one of its tooth as a tombstone. It’s kinda cool looking actually, and offering a prayer upon it got me…

Gained [Monster Sympathizer] Trait
Gained Monster Tooth


Yes, having a tooth as a memento will be enough. Rest in peace, Hot Wing Mark 2. Your unwieldy short sword-sized tooth will protect me for the rest of this journey on this never-ending straight road to civilization. The question is whether I go where Dick came from or go where Dick is going. Obviously, I pick the prior since I don’t want to meet him again. Ever.

As for the coin on the ground… I will take it, and spend it as soon as possible to get rid of his taint. It’s unfortunate that I have to resort to-

Gained [Begger] Trait

Right, I have no dignity.

Gained 1.8 Silvers

Inspecting the coin, it looks like one of those old imperfect coins from Roman time or something similar. Front side have the king’s head and the other side is a woman. Maybe the queen. My system sort them by silver value and each bronze coin as 0.1 silver. Simple enough. I am not sure how much I really have until I buy something with the local. I doubt Dick would had gave me much.

After walking down the path for what feels like an hour, I have time to think about my ‘system’ thing and ponder the strange vehicle that Dick is riding. Is this some sort of VR game? No, the terrible time I am having can’t be from a game, but it have monster in this world. This is truly another world.

”Trait” posted:

Monster Sympathizer – Monster is more than beast of horror to you. They also have feelings and intelligence. The mindset of killing them mindlessly isn’t a core value for you. Your patient and thoughtfulness for them gave you a ‘+’ bonus for interaction with them. Non-monster race might find you a weirdo or even become disdainful of you.

Beggar – Giving up all your dignity as a human being, you fully accepted the path of begging for aid from others. Gain a ‘+’ bonus to all pleading action, but the target will have lower ranked opinion of you regardless of the result.

I do not understand what all that mean. A plus sigh and rank system?

World Knowledge Updated (This prompt will be omitted for future updates)

This pop up message showed up when I am comprehend the rank system. I found the help tab that’s used to have all the ‘???’ entry that is now having one named ‘Ranking System’. It seem thinking about a question could unlock relevant entry.

”Help: Ranking System” posted:

The ability and interactions of the world are based in a letter rank system from A-E. When relevant bonus or penalty that can be apply to a particular action or ability, it is represent as a plus or minus sign next to the letter rank such as D+++. Not only does it serve as a tiebreaker in most cases, gaining a forth + will treat the ability as one rank higher for those applicable actions.

Interesting. That means my [Monster Sympathizer] Trait can give a ‘+’ boost to my [Monster Riding E] to become [Monster Riding E+]. However, the [Monster Rider] Trait only make it possible for me to ride monster as according to the description and give no bonus.

My bad luck is trying to kill me with this stupid bait skill. No way I am going to use it actively like an idiot.

Another thing I can thought of to ask the help system is the information of this Attribute thing.

”Help: Attribute” posted:

Attribute is the summation of one’s overall aptitude. It will updates as the person increase in relative capability via ranking denomination.

Strength: The raw physical capability to exert force with one’s own physical power.
Potential: The latent capability to use more than one ability at the same time and learning more difficult or complex abilities.
Endurance: The physical and mental resiliency to withstood and overcome harmful or negative effect.
Expressivity: The natural persona to enact favorably for a beneficial result to ones desired interaction.
Determination: A replacement attribute for dexterity and luck due to Bad Luck Trait making their contribution null. It is the willpower for one to keep on going regardless of numerous failures.
I have E on all of them. That’s a nice way of saying God hates me.

Finally, I come across a river from the side of my path. It is crisp blue and transparent like the sky. I could use a good bath and a mouthful of real water. The ‘Dehydration’ in my status is scream at me to drink something soon. At least I will know immediately if I caught any disease from drinking in this river. Here goes noth-

The reflection of my face on the pool is clear like a mirror. My same old face, but with torn cloth, scratches, cuts, dirt, and messy hair. I do look like a beggar. I wonder if my [Bagger] Trait would make me think like one. My concerns leads me to have mental test on any dignifying thing in my memory… But I can’t come up with one for most of my life as a delivery driver. In a sense, out bidding for job online is begging in a sense. “Please let me have this job, I will work for lower change than my rival!” That’s what you call a freelancer. No truck company would hire me to drive their stuff to the end of the world, so the only thing left is freelancing. To put it in a better way, I am a modern Mercenary for hire. Yes, that sounds better.

I washed my face and hands while polluting the river like a coal factory. Experiencing the joy of the clean and gentle water washing over my face and arm to get rid of all the rain and saliva that has been on me for a whole night. Then I drink a mouthful while washing my face, which I immediately regret because I just drank the dirt I washed off my face. I am an idiot.

You are cured of Dehydration
You are inflicted with Diarrhea


”Diarrhea” posted:

An illness caused by food poisoning or innate problems with the stomach. Victim will have immediately loose, watery bowel movements that may occur frequently with great sense of urgency. Add two ‘-‘ to Endurance.

My trip got interrupted abruptly.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


This is doing my head in.

We need to find a way to 'gift' traits to other people.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Outrail posted:

This is doing my head in.

We need to find a way to 'gift' traits to other people.

Reverse social vampire?

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Outrail posted:

We need to find a way to 'gift' traits to other people.
There's actually an isekai novel with that system.

I could make a chart later for the system.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Here are example of what Rank does:





super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

No need to sign, we'll take care of that.


Lipstick Apathy

Why can't we stop pooping!

Nyaa posted:

Here are example of what Rank does:

So while having a lot of bonuses would be miles above the base strength for our level, it's better short-term to focus on gaining ranks in skills we plan on using than focusing on traits. Meanwhile, the only thing about us getting rank is our smell.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Trait usually have a beneficial effect followed by a negative one like Beggar and Bad Luck. They are earned from your choice of action.

Raising rank itself takes a long time to train due to the gap which each rank represents. Like it would take a long time before you can become muscular to raise the strength stat with normal method.

Our butt muscles are getting lots of exercise though!

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

Our butt muscles are getting lots of exercise though!

Wut?

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



It has been three days since I arrived in this new place. My journey in this new world have been halted since yesterday when my Diarrhea symptom manifested to its full effect.

Yes, I have been empting my bowl for one and a half day as I now lay flat on the ground without a single strength to move under the setting sun. Either those three trees that I circled around will grow to be the best tree in the world or die within a few days depends on how poisonous my fertilizer is.

I realized the river water, as a whole is bad with a bunch of colorful frog soaking in it. The dehydration warning keeps showing up due to the excessive lost from my diarrhea. My weakened body leaves me no choice but to get more water from the river further down and continues the cycle of poison and water loss. Maybe there is a solution to get out of this, but I was too foolish to keep believing the next part of the river will be clean.

My nose can’t smell the stink of my produce anymore after exposing to it for so long. The only reminder of the horrible smell was yesterday evening where I lay dead to recover from the brutal onslaught of the continuous session of plant improvement activities. A horse carriage arrives with the driver saying, “My lady! There seem to be a person collapsed at the side of the river!”

Salvation envelopes me when I heard the lady reply, “Oh no! We must help him!”

However, upon arriving closer, the servant shouted. “MY LORD! What is th-COUGH-COUGH-foulest-COUGH-stenches!?” The horse scream in horror with a chocking-like voice and then charges faster. The servant have handkerchief over his nose before he can mutters, “MY LADY! THIS MUST BE A DEAD CORPSE! I WILL FILE THE REPORT LATER.” He clearly can’t see my arm are waving with his watery eyes. I would had wished him to have the same fate as me for the abandonment, but I would not wish to afflict such fate to anyone.

I managed to fell asleep or went unconscious after that to wake with a bunch of pending popup with a bunch of sickness and medical conditions that I don’t know what it is. My HP went back to six with bad sleep, and slowly lowers again over the day from my sickness and infection. Thankfully, no monster appeared during this whole tragedy. It could be the road is the safeties place in the wild or the odor-

Monster Repellent (Smell) in effect

That answered the question. I now understood how it feel to be a skunk.

A man with a handcart came to me from another direction of the road. I can’t really see him as my head is resting beside the river with what left of my strength to drink from it occasionally. My supplies of berries are consumed this afternoon. Death approaches closer if not for this man wh-

The cart halted abruptly, followed by the several coughs and hurried backing footsteps. “MY GOD! All these years of handling dead bodies have I never smell something so foul before.”

Why, thank you. You must be the dead body-hauling person. I tried to moves my fingers to show that I am not dead. He doesn’t seem to notice.

He coughed a bit more and comment. “T-this doesn’t smell like the stench of the dead!”

Yes, I am not dead! Finally! I will be saved!

“A smell so foul can only mean this crime scene is the work of an unholy manifestation!” The stupid religious man declared. He then roll the cart away while saying, “A priest! I must tell the priest to cleanse this unholy place!”

I wish for this man to suffer the same fate as I before I fell asleep again.

A debating noise woke me up the next morning, but I can’t move my body anymore. I don’t have food for dinner and my mouth is very dry.

“Sir Gonheart, surely you are jesting with abandoning the cursed place?” The familiar voice of the dead body handler voiced his disbelieve to another party. I take back my curse on him last night.

A deeper, manlier voice, which I imagine is a knight in shiny armor with long flowing hair and pornstar-muscular body reply, “It is not cursed, my friend.”

Finally, someone smart and capable have arrived.

“This smell must be the work of a monster acidic attack and that poor dead man is a victim.” He declared with absolute confidence.

I rescind my previous comment.

“Sir! I think the man’s finger is moving!” The greatest body handler to have ever live pointed out my brief finger movement.

“That can’t be.” The awful knight guy reply. “This man’s body is all covered bruise, cut, and lumps warts visible from the strange torn clothing. Hmm, perhaps he is a wizard who failed an experiment?”

I raised my middle finger with all my strength.

An audible gasp can be heard from the knight. “My words! This man is still alive! His faith in god must be strong!”

God is the reason I become like this. Whoever it is, I will… Uh, I am not sure what I can do to a god.

“Hurry, bring him back to the city! I will do what I can with his injuries in the meantime.” The knight commanded mightily and the dead corpse-handling guy rolled his cart with lots of coughing.

Please don’t die in my monster repellent zone. You two are my last chance to survive.

Thankfully, the man hauled my body onto the cart, which caused powerful pain to fires off all over my back. I can tell my HP dropped a lot from that. Can’t he handle me more gently? No, he’s a corpse handler, throwing body is how he do things.

The unspeakable pain on my back where almost doing to overwhelm me to unconsciousness, but there’s a brief sensation of soothing feeling and relief followed by the knight whispering, “May the god reconcile your sin, may your wound and injuries fade, let the work of the devil leave your soul.”

I fainted.

Then I woke up with a Well-Rested prompt with full HP. I am in-
A) A Renaissance-like middle-class bedroom with pretty decoration.
B) An decent hand built infirmary that isn’t in the best condition by modern standard.
C) A jail.
D) A locked room of a slave house.
E) Exorcism room
F) Devil worshipper hideout
G) It’s all a dream, I am still at the side of the river.
H) Write-in

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



This vote will decide your starting location/city and maybe faction bonus/penalty depends on your choice later.

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

No need to sign, we'll take care of that.


Lipstick Apathy

E

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

F) Devil worshipper hideout

We have the 'Bad Luck', where else would we be?

Time to worship some goats.

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008



F. Everyone knows the devil is a chill dude. Hail Satan.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Feverish, but rhythmic chanting awakens me from my deep slumber. I felt much better than before. In fact, I should be in perfect hea-

After opening my eyes to welcome a place without monster repellant, I am lay on a stone bed at the center of a room with some strange markings on the floor. A bunch of red robed figures surrounds me in circle at medium distance. Their arms held high as they chart in some unknown language. Is this… A church?

I rise up to check my surrounding better, but to my great discomfort, I am naked. Thankfully, the room is semi-dark and looks like those stone room under a medieval castle. Turning my head to check my back-

[omitted image of creepy statue]
Is a scary looking… Beastman thing that is staring at me. This is definitely a cult, and I am the sacrifice.

The chanting then ceased before I can come up with an escape plan. How did I keep getting into worsening situation than the last one!? Oh, bad luck. You sure worked hard, you horrible, horrible trait.

The leader of the chanting ground stood closer to me. I can tell he is the leader because of the extra linings on the red robe that distinguished it from others.

“Great Sacrifice of the Red One.” A female voice came from the leader. “Welcome to the secret lair of the Scarlet Charysler!”

I was going to ask a lot of question, but that lady plunges her sacrificial knife into my belly. So this is how I will die. One of the worst possible way. My HP rapidly lowers as she repeatable stabs me to reduce it further. It seem the damage is static, but the bleeding effect takes times. Why am I so clear minded? Because it doesn’t hurt for some reason. I have been waiting in this strange dark space that I stood in the middle of nowhere for a while now. Is this the after-afterlife? Registry?

“Sorry I am late!” The scarlet red being that looks like that horrible statue, now alive and well appears from the sky(?) and land down heavily in front of me. A large blob of meat and tendrils that is pulsing while towering like those giant Hindu god statue that towers the ceiling of a great temple. My body seem to be fine in this place and feel nothing, but I sure pissed my pant undie a bit as I fell on my butt and back-crawl away from the lovecratian monster. Yet, that being extends one of its limb-tendril that send one of its face forwards to my face. I screamed and screamed, thinking I am going to die. However, the face simply wait for me to finish scream before continues in a… Italian-like accent. “I know you… Uhh… Outrail-no… hmm, you have a very forgetful name…”

The creature continues to puzzle over my real name and I prayed in my heart that it doesn’t ‘know me’.

“KIM CLAAAAARKSON!” The face suddenly scream in this… Wide-eyed and wide mouth emoji-like expression.

I fainted.

When I woke up again in the same dark place, a guy is some distant from me in some red exotic clothes with some strange features cosplay accessories like horn and tendril (?). “Hi, I am Charysler, the dark god of the Scarlet Cult.”

I have many questions. So, so many that I don’t know where to start.
Write-in

He will reply post by post.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

I have many questions. So, so many that I don’t know where to start.
Write-in

He will reply post by post.

What in the Nine Hells is going on around here? Since arriving in this video game hell, I've almost died like a million times?!?

Explain this to me, Charysler, Dark God of the Scarlet Cult.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



CourValant posted:

What in the Nine Hells is going on around here? Since arriving in this video game hell, I've almost died like a million times?!?

Explain this to me, Charysler, Dark God of the Scarlet Cult.

"Oh mama mia," He said with the stereotypical italian arm-spread friendly gesture. You feel like he is mocking you...? "Don't bee anngree, itttts a'llrighty." Then he raises a thumb up with a smile while saying, "Woo hoo hoo?"

He waits for your confirmation of woo hoo hoo?

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars




Nyaa posted:

"Oh mama mia," He said with the stereotypical italian arm-spread friendly gesture. You feel like he is mocking you...? "Don't bee anngree, itttts a'llrighty." Then he raises a thumb up with a smile while saying, "Woo hoo hoo?"

He waits for your confirmation of woo hoo hoo?

I guess I'll have myself a beer.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

"Oh mama mia," He said with the stereotypical italian arm-spread friendly gesture. You feel like he is mocking you...? "Don't bee anngree, itttts a'llrighty." Then he raises a thumb up with a smile while saying, "Woo hoo hoo?"

He waits for your confirmation of woo hoo hoo?

I respond with a thumbs down, "Hoo Woo Woo!"

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



CourValant posted:

I respond with a thumbs down, "Hoo Woo Woo!"
"Aww." He looks defeated. "I guess i did it wrong." He folds his arm and sits down... on the air before continuing with a normal tone. "This is Fia, the world where magic and monster is real. To us gods, the world is actually called FIA as an acronym for Formula One World. I am one of the world's god, Charysler, currently in an extremely bland and unthreateningly boring form." He point at you with his arm stright with a palm, "You almost died many time because you have bad luck trait."

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Nyaa posted:

To us gods, the world is actually called FIA as an acronym for Formula One World. I am one of the world's god, Charysler, currently in an extremely bland and unthreateningly boring form." He point at you with his arm stright with a palm, "You almost died many time because you have bad luck trait."

"Finally, lets get down to business, because Formula One I understand.

Help me reorganize my traits and sort out this character sheet, and we can talk about me signing on as your driver.

Else, I'll shop around with Merk-Whenz, Jugular, or even Fiari."

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super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

No need to sign, we'll take care of that.


Lipstick Apathy

"Wait, if it's called Formula One World, why is the acronym FIA?

"Also, why am I here? I mean both why am I in this new world and why was I kidnapped by your cult and sacrificed?"

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