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KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008


____________________________


No Mercy: Sept. 24th aka THIS SUNDAY?!?

WWE Universal Title Match
Brock Lesnar (c) w/ Paul Heyman vs. Braun Strowman

The Champ vs. The Big Dog
John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

WWE Raw Tag Team Championships Match
Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose, The Shield (c) vs. Sheamus & Cesaro, The Bar

WWE Raw Women's Championship 5 Way Match
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Emma vs. Bayley

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
The Miz(c) w/ Miztourage vs. Jason Jordan

MAN to MAN
Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
Neville (c) vs. Enzo Amore

____________________________

Raw Results

Raw opened with a graphic for Bobby Heenan and they also showed tweets from employees.

Raw then really opened with Kurt Angle being interrupted by The Miztourage and I guess WWE remembered that the Jason Jordan/Kurt Angle vs. Miz feud was still going on finally instead of jobbing out Jordan to bigger names and Miz having a random segments with Enzo and the Hardyz. Kurt says that Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Elias, and Jason Jordan will be in a number 1 contender's match for the IC title. Miz gets Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel into the match by saying Kurt is a bad lovely dad. Jason Jordan came out and kicked Miz's rear end for talking bad about his daddy.

Jordan was furious backstage and Kurt told him to calm down. Jason tells him how people are treating and talking about him and how it gets to him. He says he never asked for this. Kurt says he's knows what people are saying. They'd be saying the same stuff no matter how they treated each other. Angle tells him to take his aggression out in the ring against the Miztourage and then against Miz at No Mercy.

Nia Jax defeats Alexa Bliss. Alexa tried leaving and Sasha Banks came out. After the match Sasha tried to jump Nia but it didn't work. Then Bayley returned and her, Sasha, and Alexa attacked Nia. Bayley and Sasha lay out Alexa. Bayley is now in the title match for that. Emma died on her way back to her home planet.

The played a video hyping Braun's domination against Brock for the PPV.

Sheamus and Cesaro did a promo about how people love nostalgia and remakes, just like Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins reunion. Seth and Dean come out and talk to them about being rip offs of Braveheart and Taxi Driver with their attire. Gallows and Anderson come out and call him nerds. All 3 brawl which sets up a triple threat match.

An Asuka video aired.

The Bar defeats The Club and The Shield when Sheamus steals the pin on Anderson after a Dirty Deeds.

Miztourage was backstage with Miz ranting about Jason Jordan and Kurt Angle and how Jordan doesn't deserve the spot light. Bo and Axel both promise they'd win the match and face Miz at No Mercy, but Miz said they're main goal is to make sure Jordan doesn't win.

Angle is backstage and is confronted by Goldust, except he has no face paint and is calling himself Dustin Rhodes. He said he wanted to prove that he wasn't a pawn in Bray Wyatt's mind games against Finn Balor. He wanted Wyatt man to man. Not as Goldust but as Dustin Rhodes.

Curt Hawkins is in the ring cutting a promo about how he is on a 114 losing streak and he is going to be out to break it every night. He calls some out to make history in breaking the new streak. Apollo Crews and Titus World Wide comes out.

Apollo beats Hawkins. Hawkins streak is now at 115 and even has a graphic for it.

A video package aired making comparisons about Cena and Reigns careers being similar with titles won and stuff.

Michael Cole interviewed Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) and Braun Strowman while both men were separated in different rooms. Brock looked shook and scared of Braun and Heyman kept cutting off Cole trying to ask Braun questions. When Braun answered he was quick to the point and was bad rear end. When asked about going to Suplex City, Braun said he'll go to it, but only to stop it down into the ground like the monster he is. Brock finally spoke and thanked Braun for putting him into a corner he hasn't been in in a long time. He says it awakens something in him that he thrives on. At No Mercy, he'll take Braun to Suplex City, bitch!

Roman Reigns comes out and says, and I quote, "Cena may be one of the best talkers ever, but he says stupid poo poo from time to time." Roman says that Cena called him a Cena copycat and lookalike, but thats not true because he's not a muscular white dude with a crop top. If he was he wouldn't be in WWE anymore, just ask Alex Riley. He says that Cena is a huge hypocrite and if you don't believe him he has proof. Roman airs footage of Cena's promos against The Rock in their ONCE IN A LIFE TIME MATCH. In it Cena called out Rock for going to Hollywood, not being on shows everyday, and not actually loving wrestling. Roman says he wants Cena to respond to that face to face so lets bring Cena out. He asks the crowd to get louder so Cena can hear them and come out to the ring. Roman then reveals that Cena isn't here, but he'll see him a No Mercy.

Renee Young interviews the Hardy Boyz. They say that if it comes down to it then it will be Hardy vs Hardy. Both seem very into that idea.

Another Asuka package airs.

Bray Wyatt defeats Dustin Rhodes. Goldust still had no face paint and was going by his real name. Goldust kicked Wyatt's rear end. Finn cut a promo about how he created the Demon so the man is more twisted then the Demon and Bray will find out at No Mercy.

WWE aired a tribute video to Bobby Heenan that was basically a greatest hits package.

Enzo came out and was about to do his thing but Braun came out and murdered him to the delight of everyone. Neville then came out and hit the Red Arrow on Enzo and laughed in his face.

Enzo was in the training room with ice on his stomach and was interviewed and said he's gonna take that title from Neville.

Neville defeated Gran Metalik. Neville ripped his mask so much that Metalik's face was showing.

Jason Jordan defeated Axel, Bo, Elias, and both Hardyz to become #1 contender. Miz laid him out after to end Raw and called him a bastard.

____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • A recap of the last two weeks of the Kevin Owens/Shane McMahon angle, including last week's beatdown of Vince McMahon by Kevin after he got Vince's guarantee he wouldn't be fired for beating up "a McMahon".

  • Shane came down to the ring to declare that he was going to condemn Kevin Owens to Hell... in the Cell.

  • Randy Orton defeated Aiden English in a surprisingly competitive match. English opened the match with a song about Orton's head being full of lead, Orton ended the match with a surprise RKO. Afterwards, Rusev came out and demanded a chance to avenge his humiliating loss at Summerslam. Orton agreed and the ref called for the bell, Orton almost hit a surprise RKO but got shoved into the ropes and Aiden English. Stopping to look at English, he turned right into the kick from Rusev who got a quick pinfall and celebrated manically for restoring his family pride.

  • Backstage, Rusev couldn't stop raving about his defeat of Orton. He began chanting,"RUSEV NUMBER ONE" and the crowd was happy to join in.

  • Jinder Mahal did a pretty terrible promo making jokes about Nakamura's face and various ethnic jokes, while the Singh Brothers laughed wildly. When he cracked a "Mr. Miyagi" joke some members of the crowd started chanting,"THAT'S TOO FAR!". He ended the promo with his usual,"I will talk to MY people in MY language" bit.

  • Backstage, Shinsuke commented to Renee Young that Jinder was very funny, but it wouldn't find it so funny when Shinsuke beat him at Hell in a Cell.

  • AJ Styles came to the ring following a video recap last week of Baron Corbin's post-match assault on AJ and Tye Dillinger. AJ warned Kevin Owens he wasn't going to survive Hell in a Cell with Shane McMahon, then moved on to Corbin who he claimed was lazy and had taken shortcut after shortcut but also continually failed every time he had a chance to succeed.

  • Corbin came out but as the ring introductions were being done, Corbin attacked AJ from behind. As the ref tried to check on Corbin, Tye Dillinger raced in and hit Corbin with a low blow and began assaulting him. Corbin claimed to have an injured leg, but AJ didn't care, jumped him, put him in the Calf Crusher and made him tap out. Officially the match never actually happened, however.

  • Backstage, Renee Young tried to interview Corbin who just screamed,"WHAT!?!" at her and screamed his promo at her (it was pretty great) and insisted he was going to get even, presumably with Tye Dillinger first.

  • Charlotte came out to thank everybody for their kind words and support while her dad Ric Flair was recovering from surgery. Women's Champion Nattie came out to welcome her back and talk happily about all the wonderful achievements women have made, and what better way to celebrate that than with a big poster print out of herself!?! Charlotte told Nattie it was appropriate that this was all about her, since Charlotte intended to challenge her for the Women's Title. Becky Lynch's music played (to a big pop) and she came out to mock Nattie, welcome back Charlotte, and remind them both that the title truly belonged to HER. Naomi came out next to rip on Nattie, but before she could make a challenge herself, Tamina came out with Lana. Lana noted that Nattie was a crazy cat lady, but since everybody else had already had their shots at the title, now it was Tamina's time. Nattie left the ring complaining this time was meant to be all about her, and she is NOT a crazy cat lady! Unfortunately she did not ask for a vote on whether her cat was pretty and smelled nice.

  • Daniel Bryan came out and declared the main event would be Naomi vs Becky Lynch vs Tamina vs Charlotte Flair in a Fatal Fourway to determine the new Number One Contender for Nattie's title at Hell in a Cell.

  • The New Day defeated the Hype Bros, with the Usos on commentary insisting that despite losing the titles in a match last week whose stipulation THEY chose, they knew how to beat the New Day to regain the titles.

  • Kevin Owens did a satellite interview apologizing profusely for beating up Vince McMahon, but insisting that it was all Shane McMahon's fault and it's all on him. He's the one who started this, he's the one who caused him to become so enraged that when he shook Vince's hand he saw Shane and went insane. He also apologized in advance for what he was going to do to Shane at Hell in a Cell, and claimed that Shane is such a terrible person that if Owens brutalizes him at the PPV he isn't going to go to hell, he's going to go to heaven.

  • "Nothing can hold you back, we are unstoppable" insisted John Cena in a Tapout ad, while text on the screen declared,"DO NOT ATTEMPT"

  • A distraught Mojo Rawley told Zack backstage that if they wanted things to change, they would need to do something drastic. Zack nodded in agreement.

  • Ziggler continued his awful gimmick of ripping off other wrestler's entrances, claiming they masked a lack of talent. His first choice was interesting in that regard, as he did a Triple H entrance, then asked if he could run NXT now even if he wasn't wearing Mom Jeans. The crowd chanted for CM Punk but Ziggler's next entrance was Shawn Michaels, and said it doesn't get any more superficial than that... then claimed it was possible to go lower, and did a DX Entrance. The crowd kept on chanting for CM Punk. Ziggler complained that the crowd doesn't care how good he is, but he doesn't care about them.

  • Charlotte pinned Tamina to become the new Number One Contender for the Women's title. She'd earlier scored a moonsault on Tamina and Naomi but had tried to pin both and Naomi had kicked out. Naomi almost had it at one point but Lana pulled her out of the ring. Naomi took out Lana, but then got attacked by Tamina who turned around into a kick for Charlotte, allowing her to get the pin.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 11:32 on Sep 20, 2017

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DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
NO BOBBY HEENAN TRIBUTE,

GAS THIS THREAD

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

Ouch. What does it take to get a tribute? Glad I forgot to watch.

CubsWoo
Aug 17, 2005

Where the big boys RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU


Story Time has some good inside jokes

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

DoctorGonzo posted:

NO BOBBY HEENAN TRIBUTE,

GAS THIS THREAD

hold on, i'll just copy and paste some wrestlers tweets in this thread. it'll be about as much that wwe did

rovert
Jun 10, 2013
https://twitter.com/FromTheTop/status/909961699792433152

rovert
Jun 10, 2013

DoctorGonzo posted:

NO BOBBY HEENAN TRIBUTE,

GAS THIS THREAD

He was my favourite member of the Midnight Express.

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

rovert
Jun 10, 2013
https://twitter.com/Goldust/status/909927392512057344

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Nobody wears jackets like this anymore. Not even Vince "many cheap sofas exploded inside my wardrobe" McMahon :smith:

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
So wait is Starrcade going to be a Network special? Or do we know?

Also it was another good Raw and there was a Bobby tribute and it was good but not as good as some of the amazing ones they have done.

CubsWoo
Aug 17, 2005

Where the big boys RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU

SamuraiFoochs posted:

So wait is Starrcade going to be a Network special? Or do we know?

Also it was another good Raw and there was a Bobby tribute and it was good but not as good as some of the amazing ones they have done.

It's the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, so I would assume so. I hope they continue the trend of super-sizing random house shows into Network specials.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

CubsWoo posted:

It's the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, so I would assume so. I hope they continue the trend of super-sizing random house shows into Network specials.

I dunno if you're being sarcastic but unironically agreed. That's one of the coolest parts of the Network IMO.

CubsWoo
Aug 17, 2005

Where the big boys RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU

SamuraiFoochs posted:

I dunno if you're being sarcastic but unironically agreed. That's one of the coolest parts of the Network IMO.

The original Roadblock and the Elimination Chamber where Owens beat Cena were both examples of this iirc and I thought they were both great

Platypus Farm
Jul 12, 2003

Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

Jerusalem posted:

Nobody wears jackets like this anymore. Not even Vince "many cheap sofas exploded inside my wardrobe" McMahon :smith:

I was super excited about five years ago to find a sequined jacket at a goodwill that looks exactly like some Rod Roddy level poo poo. Bright blue sequins, giant butterfly style collar. Too bad its like a massive, 3 XL equivalent size but maybe someday I'll be really fat and can wear it.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

lol I just know Cody is going to agree to this and it'll turn out vince added a "you must wrestle as stardust" clause to the contract

CubsWoo
Aug 17, 2005

Where the big boys RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU
Vince buys Impact before Starrcade and forces the match to be Broken Brilliance vs. Black Reign and Stardust

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Platypus Farm posted:

Too bad its like a massive, 3 XL equivalent size but maybe someday I'll be really fat and can wear it.

I believe in you, one day you will be Fatypus Farm :shobon:

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

CubsWoo posted:

The original Roadblock and the Elimination Chamber where Owens beat Cena were both examples of this iirc and I thought they were both great

You are correct and have good opinions. Honestly the fact that they've named it makes me think they'll air it in which case gently caress yeah.

Astro7x
Aug 4, 2004
Thinks It's All Real
For those that care to see Nikki Bella on Dancing With The Stars

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlACd8CquRk&t=107s

rovert
Jun 10, 2013
Big fan of people thinking WWE would do a disciplined rebuild of Bayley's character only for WWE to just throw her back into the title mix:

https://twitter.com/itsBayleyWWE/status/909971577147498496

Still, Raw is pretty stacked potentially:
https://twitter.com/WWE/status/909963299134906368

https://twitter.com/RealPaigeWWE/status/909886347011379200

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
Hey rov do you know if Starrcade will be a Network special?

rovert
Jun 10, 2013

SamuraiFoochs posted:

Hey rov do you know if Starrcade will be a Network special?

I honestly don't and don't know who to ask, to be honest.

I assume it isn't as it is a week away from a PPV. Alos WWE pulled back ALL costs on all extra stuff. Was told in the past that Board of Directors has to approve every non-standard dollar spent.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Guy who phoned in to Observer Live today suggested (and it's just an opinion) it's been named Starrcade purely because there's a wrestling convention happening nearby catering to old school NWA/WCW fans. Which, if it was true, would be kinda equal parts hilarious and scummy to be honest.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

rovert posted:

I honestly don't and don't know who to ask, to be honest.

I assume it isn't as it is a week away from a PPV. Alos WWE pulled back ALL costs on all extra stuff. Was told in the past that Board of Directors has to approve every non-standard dollar spent.

Bummer. That'd be fun. Ah well, maybe fingers crossed eh?

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

Jerusalem posted:

Guy who phoned in to Observer Live today suggested (and it's just an opinion) it's been named Starrcade purely because there's a wrestling convention happening nearby catering to old school NWA/WCW fans. Which, if it was true, would be kinda equal parts hilarious and scummy to be honest.

have you seen the photos of attendance? they need every trick in the book

CrcleSqreSanchz
Aug 21, 2002

I'm feeling something new...something...I'm happy??!!
Bobby Heenan was the best part of RAW wrestling

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

WE ALL KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN
I think Finn cut the dorkiest promo Ive ever heard tonight

rovert
Jun 10, 2013

Jerusalem posted:

Guy who phoned in to Observer Live today suggested (and it's just an opinion) it's been named Starrcade purely because there's a wrestling convention happening nearby catering to old school NWA/WCW fans. Which, if it was true, would be kinda equal parts hilarious and scummy to be honest.

Yeah Wrestlecade moved from 2 to 3 days this year.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

One of my friends attended Raw tonight and he said not having pyro to hype up the crowd really keeps the energy level low. Also no 10 bell salute for Heenan. Bush league bullshit, gently caress the WWE

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

Jerusalem posted:

Guy who phoned in to Observer Live today suggested (and it's just an opinion) it's been named Starrcade purely because there's a wrestling convention happening nearby catering to old school NWA/WCW fans. Which, if it was true, would be kinda equal parts hilarious and scummy to be honest.

greensboro, and specifically the greensboro coliseum, saw a lot of the early starrcades, including the first, so there's that too.

greensboro was definitely a wwf town during the monday night wars though, we definitely got plenty of raws and a fair share of ppvs for a mid-level metropolitan area, and always wwf.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

I haven't messaged him yet but I have a buddy who might be one of Wade Keller's live report call-ins so I'm happy for him, sounds fun

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat
Jason Jordan is the beneficiary of nepotism plain and simple.

tweet my meat
Oct 2, 2013

yospos
I missed fun Roman that you saw sometimes with the shield. It's good to see the Big Dog at play again.

rovert
Jun 10, 2013
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLESlGPjX70

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
I ain't gonna watch that, sorry rov.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUvouRjDlWs

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

shiksa posted:

greensboro, and specifically the greensboro coliseum, saw a lot of the early starrcades, including the first, so there's that too.

greensboro was definitely a wwf town during the monday night wars though, we definitely got plenty of raws and a fair share of ppvs for a mid-level metropolitan area, and always wwf.

How did I not register that it's in Greensboro? I could go to that

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~
I just watched Curt Hawkins cut a promo on Raw in 2017 :psyduck:

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Rarity posted:

I just watched Curt Hawkins cut a promo on Raw in 2017 :psyduck:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyFQVZ2h0V8

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That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8qG4AlK1qk

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