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Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010



CourValant posted:

Can someone help me with the image posting part of this?

You have a space in your first [img] tag.

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Scribbleykins
Apr 29, 2010

Any scientist with the right background can brew his own booze.

...

What do you mean electrolytes aren't used for brewing booze? That's silly!

...

Well when all you have are chunks of TNE and an overly large water ration, all the world looks like a still!

Grimey Drawer

Successful Businessmanga posted:

You have a space in your first [img] tag.

That's not the issue he's having - I had the same thing happen to me. It's probably some feature designed to draw hits to the photobucket site by making it impossible to link directly to the image itself.

Save on stress and just use the image you'll be provided by DogKisser, Cour.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Successful Businessmanga posted:

You have a space in your first [img] tag.

Actually I put it there on purpose so the text will show up, otherwise it just 'blanks out' the line.

Scribbleykins posted:

That's not the issue he's having - I had the same thing happen to me. It's probably some feature designed to draw hits to the photobucket site by making it impossible to link directly to the image itself.

Save on stress and just use the image you'll be provided by DogKisser, Cour.

Thanks, I'll do just that!

Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010



Scribbleykins posted:

That's not the issue he's having - I had the same thing happen to me. It's probably some feature designed to draw hits to the photobucket site by making it impossible to link directly to the image itself.

Save on stress and just use the image you'll be provided by DogKisser, Cour.

Ah yeah, that's kind of obvious in hindsight haha. Painkillers~ This was a mix of me uploading the image to imgur and then copy/pasting it into the [img] tags to post like below and then immediately forgetting I'd done so and reverting to advice .



https://i.imgur.com/kaOtnf7.jpg

If you really need an image right now.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

Successful Businessmanga posted:

If you really need an image right now.

Thanks! Figured it out through LPix, which is probably a better solution for this anyways, appreciate the advice!

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

erhecktile disfunction

Lipstick Apathy

Photobucket is so bad I'm surprised they hadn't shut down years ago.

CourValant
Feb 25, 2016

Do You Remember Love?

super sweet best pal posted:

Photobucket is so bad I'm surprised they hadn't shut down years ago.

I'm kinda surprised as well; I haven't used that account in years, and it used to work flawlessly with linking images before, so

Anyways, LPix works great, so, upwards and onwards!

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars




Otter (F2)
Talent: Burglary


Good at getting into and out of buildings she's not supposed to be in. Not... AS good at avoiding getting caught. Given an opportunity to break into the enemy's buildings because the royal guard likes their prisons intact, thank you very much.

Action: Why go under when you can go through? 1d100+10: 80 [1d100=70]

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Grimey Drawer

Face E5

Name: Valthax
Skill: Gluttony (used this turn, on cooldown next turn)
HP: 3
Glory: 0

Valthax was a hungry goblin. A very hungry goblin. So hungry that anything looked like food. He turned towards the gate and opened his maw. He would eat the gate!

As he began to chew, he felt briefly content.

1d100+10=92 to EAT THE GATE

http://orokos.com/roll/552309

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


C6


Name: Graxon
Skill: Bonegineering
HP: 3
Glory :0

Graxon didn't knew himself many things. But what him knew was his way around some Calcium. His pa once said " Graxiekin ain't but one thing in dis here world worth knowing and that's hows to make use of something all gits got. BONES ME LAD! Good for making plants grow, good for smacking a fool head in, heck make a flute outta leg if you want. And if ya runs out, just find summit and get some more!"

So Graxon learned how to use the whole skeleton to make all kinds of things. And right now, it was time to PRY DOOR OPEN WITH HIS TRUSTY BONE CROWBAR!

Pry the hinges with bone hammer: 1d100+10 26

Arkanomen fucked around with this message at Sep 21, 2017 around 18:40

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


A10

Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 0

Backstory: Nothing fazes Gigs. He's seen it all. Or maybe he hasn't and is just really, really hard to impress. Either way, he doesn't get invited to parties. Collects snail shells.

Gigs strolls up and knocks on the gate to see if they'll let him in (1d100 = 13). You never know.

Task Manager
Sep 5, 2008

A weird time in which we are alive. We can travel anywhere we want, even to other planets. And for what? To sit day after day, declining in morale and hope.


B4

Name: Gabber
Skill: Mimicry
HP: 3
Glory: 0
Backstory: When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade; when life gives you extremely bad halitosis and a penchant to ramble, your parents decide to permanently sew your mouth shut and sign you up for Mime lessons. Gabber's quite a bit quieter now than in his younger years, but they always say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

After hanging back for a bit from the rest and checking out what the other conscripts were doing to get past that gate (and it had nothing to do with the fact he hadn't made any friends, thank you very much), Gabber notices one of his fellow brothers-in-arms setting up a catapult to launch a huge rock. Thinking that a very wise decision and a sure path to success and friendship, Gabber lines up next to the man, gives him a stoic nod, and begins painstakingly pulling back an invisible catapult arm, straining with all his might to lock it into place with his invisible rope. Once the deed is done he wipes the sweat from his brow, turns to his side picking up what is surely the largest invisible rock for miles around, and loads it into the arm. With an invisible axe, Gabber brings the blade swiftly down, severing the rope in one swing and sending the invisible payload towards its target.

Invisible Catapult Rock Go!: 1d100+10 65

Task Manager fucked around with this message at Sep 21, 2017 around 15:47

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Alright contrary to my earlier post applications are closed - until the update, later today, whereupon they are reopened.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.



“Alright, you mooks, have at it!” With a mighty battle cry, you charged into the fray… against a gate and part of a stone wall. The fearsome Unexpectable Horde could not be stopped by simple brick and mortar, even if it was… very, very large and imposing!

Immediately - led by Gado the Digger, a goodly portion of the Horde began to… dig under the gate, tearing out old, cracked flagstone and tearing into the hard-packed dirt beneath. Warlord Grimper cursed them, asking them whether they were men or moles, but they kept at it - because, hey, it was working! Others swarmed over the gate itself, trying to pick locks, burst it down with impromptu (and very flimsy) siege weaponry - and in several cases, to try to talk it open, as though it could hear them or would listen if it could. Grimper hurled abuse (and stones) at those foolish enough to try to convince a drat gate to open!

But slowly, surely, the Horde made their way over, around, and through the Gate! Splut the Bluffer, unbelievably, was talking the gate open - or at least his words were convincing his mindless fellows that they were. Whether through supernatural skill or the sheer motivational power of his words, he contributed the most towards getting the drat thing bypassed. Or he would have, were he not equalled in fervour - if not technique - by Cornbread the Shitchucker! The latter through stone after tainted stone with furious determination, his bestial precision damaging crucial parts of the great old door. Between the two of them, and with the force of the Horde behind them, the gate at last gave way.

    100d100 = 5214 vs 50d100 = 2410
    Glorious Victory! - Win by 1000
    Overwhelming Power! - Win An Advantageous Conflict

Scrubbing dirt off their rags and clambering out from under, over, and around the ruined gate, the Horde cheered in raucous exultation. A thunderclap of power split the air, and Warlord Grimper plowed bodily through the rest of the wall, silencing them with a casual show of power. He brushed himself off and swept a fleck of grime off his cape. “Good enough! At least you’re learning to follow orders. Now you need to learn to fight! You’ve breached the wall, excellent, but now - oh no - there’s a bunch of stick ogres or some bullshit. They’re terribly fearsome, you may get scratched by their woody claws. Watch out.”



FEARSOME SCARECROW ARMY Difficulty 50 Threat 1
“Seriously, they’re just bundles of sticks, much like the rest of you. However! Beat them down and there’s a proper weapon in this for you."

"And by proper I mean rubbish, but then you’ll be perfectly suited for one another! A Fröman sword, no doubt hewn from that filthy slop they call iron. Have at them, my Horde!”

---
Combat
Combat is just another Conflict, with a few changes. The Horde rolls against the Difficulty - if they win, they deal casualties. If the casualties are sufficient, the other army will (usually) rout and escape. If they lose, they may take damage or casualties themselves. A standard Combat will deal 1 Damage to the loser. The Threat Rating indicates the potential casualties - with a Threat Rating of (for instance) 5, the lowest five rollers in the Horde take the damage
    EX: FIGHT THE SHITBABY ARMY Difficulty 5 Threat 1
    17d100 vs 5d100 = Win and Rout
    EX: FIGHT THE DEATHKILLER ARMY Difficulty 50 Threat 10
    50d100 vs 50d100 = Loss, Lowest 10 take 1 Damage
In particularly dangerous cases, a loss could cause more than 1 Damage. For the most part, this will be saved for bosses and the like.
    EX: FIGHT THE ULTIMO DRAGON Difficulty 50 Threat 50 Damage 2
    29d100 vs 50d100 = Loss, Lowest 50 take 2 Damage
    EX: SINGLE COMBAT [Difficulty 1] Deadly
    1d100 vs 1d100 = Loss, Combatant is killed instantly
Same thing as last time, ladies and gentlemen - Roll 1d100 plus an applicable Skill (though recall that they cannot be used on consecutive turns!) You, uh, should be fine here - if you lose you can count on the lowest rollers being Punished. We’ll get to that if it somehow happens. In the more likely case that you do vanquish your beastly foe, the highest roller will get a Weapon, and the highest ten rollers will gain +1 Glory!

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?




FIGHT THE STICK OGRES: 1d100+1 84

Crazycryodude fucked around with this message at Sep 21, 2017 around 16:54

Barbed Tongues
Mar 16, 2012




Pythag
HP: 3
Skill: Math
Glory: 1

Kick some sticks!: 1d100 = 96 +1 Glory = 97

Barbed Tongues fucked around with this message at Sep 21, 2017 around 16:54

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars





HP 3
E: Glory 1
{cooldown}

On the one hand, you can't really break into the inside of a log mannequin. On the other hand, it should be easy enough to knock over or something, right?

E: Wreck a bunch of stick ogres or some bullshit: 1d100+1: 16 [1d100=15]

Wrong. Ever so wrong.

Owwie.

dont be mean to me fucked around with this message at Sep 21, 2017 around 16:55

oldskool
Aug 9, 2010


Lipstick Apathy


Name: Spekz
HP: 3
Glory: 1
Skill: Echolocation

Attack the horde! 1d100: 30

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


Glory adds to your rolls! Everyone who posted beforehand has a roll of 1d100+1 currently!

Successful Businessmanga
Mar 28, 2010




Gado!!!
Skill: Digging [Unavailable this turn]
HP: 3
Glory: 1 -> 2
Horde's Glory/HP Count

High on the triumph of defeating one inanimate object and hungry with a new found lust for victory, Gado raises his shoddy weapon and charges at the Horde's new wood based foes. Digging is tiring work however, and Gado barely reaches his enemy, weaponized twig barely making a sound as it bounces off the targets.

Combat!!! 1d100+1= 5

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006



Dofro
Skill: Romance
HP: 3
Glory: 1

Go back? No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!

Against a door, Dofro was helpless. But against ogres? My my! He would take off his shirt but he didn't own one. Even better. Cut to the chase. He smoothed down his moustache and stepped forward.

Smother Lover the Ogre!: 1d100+11 99

big bag of nacho cheese
Feb 19, 2011




Name: Qwäg
Skill: Risk Assessment [On Cooldown]
HP: 3
Glory: 1

Qwäg sighs as the horde pours through the breached gates. They never listen, she miserates, but you know if it had collapsed it would have somehow been my fault! Grasping her stick in her best spider-on-the-wall-poking stance, she shuffles up to one of the "fearsome" dummies. Peering intently at her target's ramshackle anatomy, she grunts with effort and attempts to thrust her "weapon" where it will stand the best chance of doing some damage.

Fighting the "ogres"!: 1d100+1 37

TheNabster
Apr 26, 2014

Death, but with a gun




Spleen
Skill: 'Splosions
HP: 3
Glory: 1

The gate fell down before Spleen could make it go bang. This makes Spleen sad. There were Ogres they said but they were just straw ogres. Straw doesn't go bang it just sort of burns, no good! No good for Spleen!

Spleen chooses to stab them instead.

Stabbin' Ogres, 1d100+1 = 65

Task Manager
Sep 5, 2008

A weird time in which we are alive. We can travel anywhere we want, even to other planets. And for what? To sit day after day, declining in morale and hope.



Name: Gabber
Skill: Mimicry {cooldown}
HP: 3
Glory: 1

The gate having shattered under what was clearly the combined might of earthen stone and pure imagination, Gabber bounded through the gap, taking stock of the fearsome foes Warlord Grimper had provided for them.

Unsheathing his actual stick and not the imaginary axe he had wielded earlier, Gabber gave a a mighty warshout ("Mh Mnenpctbl Hmmmd!") and swung at his foe....

Stick Attack!: 1d100+1 20

Task Manager fucked around with this message at Sep 21, 2017 around 17:20

Yvonmukluk
Oct 10, 2012

Is he strong? Listen, bum!
He's got radioactive cum!
Shoots death in ropey threads!
Want throat cancer? Give him head!

In the chill of the night,
At the gentlemen's club,
This swinger will get
Atomic rub & tugs!






Bully
Skill: Oratory
HP:3
Glory: 1

Bully dusts himself off, rolls up his metaphorical sleeves, and starts applying his pugilistic skills. He'll show these straw foes what for!

Applying pugilistic skills upon the dummies in a manner intended to vanquish them, 1d100+1 = 82

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.


HP: 3
Glory: 1


Once more, Poetry (and a fair amount of throwing things and digging) had proved superior to cold, dead stone. Snödis was confident the same would hold true for cold, dead cardboard cutouts, but ever since a paper-cut had taken all five of her parents to an early grave, she had harbored a deep pathological fear of paper based construction materials.

No, let the rest of the Horde could deal with this Stick Ogre, she had her eyes on the real prize!

Steal the prize-weapon when no one is looking!: 1d100+1 = 27

Kyyp
Jan 14, 2007




Name: Doc
HP: 3
Glory: 1
Skill: Surgery

Finally something that could really put Doc's skills to use. Time to amputate!

Amputation: 1d100+11 = 74

Scribbleykins
Apr 29, 2010

Any scientist with the right background can brew his own booze.

...

What do you mean electrolytes aren't used for brewing booze? That's silly!

...

Well when all you have are chunks of TNE and an overly large water ration, all the world looks like a still!

Grimey Drawer



Name: Humbug
Portrait: D5
Skill: Sleuthing
HP: 3
Glory: 2

High on the success at having cracked open his previous case, Humbug trotted forward to deal with the scores and bundles (literal bundles) of villains that some enterprising (or very bored) soul had ensured would stand in the army's path.

1d100+1: Brush aside stick-ogres! - 45

LucyWanabe
Nov 4, 2009



Name: Agile
HP: 3
Glory: 1
Skill: Acrobatics

Not sure how best to approach attacking, since she'd never seen combat before, Agile decides to go with the brute force approach and simply tries to punch her target.

Attack the dummy: 1d100+1 23

Mr. Prokosch
Feb 14, 2012

Behold My Magnificence!




Name: Dummy
HP: 3
Glory: 1
Skill: Charge! (on cooldown)

Dummy was winded from his glorious charge against the door, which disappointed him because it was much better to charge these evil stick men! Still, he did the best he could to sacrifice his body against these terrible foes!

Charge!: 1d100+1 98

It turns out a running leap is super effective!

Mr. Prokosch fucked around with this message at Sep 21, 2017 around 17:48

sheep-dodger
Feb 21, 2013



Name: Sucy
HP: 3
Glory: 1
Skill: Mushrooms

Old figures made out of straw and wood? This would be prime ground to plant some mushrooms and have them destroy the dummies through their growth.
1d100+11: 77

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...



Name: Stårn
Skill: SIEGE WEAPONS
HP: 3
Glory: 1 -> 2

"CHOO CHOO" yelled Stårn, as he rushed in through the gates to relocate his Priceless Weapon to a more advantageous position, rolling over some stick ogres more on accident than anything.

Rolling over some stick ogres with my catapult cart CHOO CHOO: 1d100+1=51

Green Intern
Dec 29, 2008

Secret Art: Toxic Crotch Whirlwind!


Name: Ringo!
HP: 3
Glory: 1
Skill: Lockpicking

Gonna beat the tar outta those stick-jerks

Kick the Stick-Jerks: 1d100+1 47

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company




Name: Shiny
HP: 3
Glory: 1
Skill: Stealin' Stuff

Fröman swords might be rubbish...



...but they're shiny. Well, shinier than any of the rest of the crap laying around/ Shiny, appropriately, wants one. Or ten. If she can polish 'em up right she'll want all the swords. But right now she'll settle for one. And if beating the crap out of a wooden stick-y thing is what it takes to get one then by God she'll beat the crap out of a wooden stick-y thing.

Kill Dem Stick Ogres: 1d100+1 66

...of course, even if she's not awarded a shiny, maybe she can just nick it from whoever does win it. That sounds more realistic.

WereGoat
Apr 28, 2017




Name: Hob
HP: 3
Glory: 1
Skill: bee keeping

Stick golems!? It's just like the stories. En guard! Holding his stick like a rapier, Hob fences back and forth with the immobile bundles of sticks "Ya! Yah!", before lunging towards one.

Fencing: 1d100+1 61

Glory becomes 2

Astus
Nov 11, 2008




Name: Dack
Skill: Athletics
HP: 3
Glory: 1

It seems fencing is back this year. Dack wishes someone had told him that before, he's a bit rusty after they cancelled fencing a few years ago due to that unfortunate incident.

Fencing a straw ogre: 8

Alright fine, it was Dack who got fencing removed from the Töan Olympics in the first place.

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


Name: Hat
Picture: F7
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Glory: 1!

Placing a hat full to the stylish brim with dirt and small fragments of flooring back upon her head, Hat hefts her army regulation pointy stick and attacks the fiendish stick person in front of her.

Fighting stickmen with sticks: 1d100+1 11 Womp womp!

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

erhecktile disfunction

Lipstick Apathy


Name: Portha
HP: 3
Glory: 1

Portha went to work beating on the dummies. Forget being a sub-assistant to the royal chambermaid, with a military record and training she could aim way higher: a full assistant chambermaid. Assuming she even survived basic training.

Hit the dummies! 1d100+1 = 6

Unfortunately, most of her strikes barely connected. Hopefully, Grimper wouldn't notice.

{Looks like my losing streak from Fragile Gods is back}

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




Potrait:


Name: Mason
Skill: Mason Hootin' an' Hollerin'
HP: Mason
Glory: Mason

"Wull eye reckon eye ken reck dese ceety slickuhs", Mason says, as he barrels with reckless abandon into the enemy, who are most definitely not "city slickers".

Roll:
Mason Smash!: 1d100+1 76

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Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug




Name: Graxon
Skill: Bonegineering
HP: 3
Glory :0

The bone hammer did not do so well versus stone, stone being the mortal enemy of bone along side its twin of ruin, wood. It would take a moment to find some more calcium to work into a new tool, but for now this iron sword will have to do. Iron is a fine material but it lacks the elegance of a good clawing! Either way, the best place to rake is RIGHT AT THE KNEES (or in this case post)

Claw at the support posts: 1d100 54

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