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Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


A10

Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 0

Backstory: Nothing fazes Gigs. He's seen it all. Or maybe he hasn't and is just really, really hard to impress. Either way, he doesn't get invited to parties. Collects snail shells.

Gigs strolls up and knocks on the gate to see if they'll let him in (1d100 = 13). You never know.

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Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 1

These strawmen seem of unusually poor quality. Gigs tosses his stick halfheartedly at the nearest one (1d100+1=27). The projectile slides into the dummy with a muffled ~shck~ and remains there.

"Hmm."

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 2
Inventory: 1 stick spear, 7 rations (?)

Downtime: Practice Swings

Fishing his spear from the strawman's entrails, Gigs weighs the weapon in his hands, getting a feel for the heft of the stick. He takes a couple swings in the miniature golf course of his mind (1d100+2 = 13). He sinks a few.

"Hmm."

It's not much, not that he expected much, but he feels a little more familiar with his instrument of death.

Strategy: Intercept Them

Dog Kisser posted:

“A group of you could intercept them. Slow them down, ask them a few questions. Pretend as though you don’t hate their guts if you need to.”
Feigned indifference? Eh, sure. Gigs shoulders his spear and stands with the other volunteers. A motley crew by his own estimation. Well, whatever.

EDIT: Awaiting the opportune moment, just before the caravan rounds the bend, Gigs steps out into the road and hails the driver, asking for directions from Here to There (1d100+12 = 95). The driver does his best to try and trace out the route for him, but Gigs' stony gaze betrays no comprehension. Increasingly frustrated, the driver attempts to explain it again. And again. And again.

Bad Seafood fucked around with this message at Sep 23, 2017 around 13:54

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 3
Inventory: 1 stick spear, 7 rations (?)

Gigs bobs his head dispassionately to the beat of RIK's killer licks as he pokes around for a better weapon, preferably something with reach or range (1d100 = 20).

"Hmm..."

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 4
Inventory: 1 stick spear, 7 rations (?)

Downtime: Snail Hunting

The rest of the hoard watches with a mix of horror and fascination as Ringo's topknot is ripped from his skull. Gigs blinks. I mean, the guy had a big ol' hole in it. Something like that was bound to happen. The late Flutter's scar had suggested he was similarly poor at risk assessment. Honestly people. Still, Gigs supposes he will miss the big lunk. Butterflies are highly-nutritious, but difficult to catch on your own.

Gigs sighs before turning his attentions downwards. The looting was a bust but nature provides. Snails, specifically. Getting down on his hands and knees, Gigs begins the meticulous process of combing the roadside shrubberies for whatever gastropods might be lying in wait (1d100+4 = 51). Warlord Grimper may have smashed his entire collection of shells back home in the midst of one of his more impassioned motivational speeches, but he'd never forbade Gigs from starting up another one - a smaller set, for the road.

Horde Vote: Head To Fostis

Recalling his misspent youth as the target of many a far-flung rock, Gigs imagines a veritable (and incidentally also quite literal) mine of the material should prove reasonably useful to the horde's continued ambitions of breaking things and laughing about it.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


big bag of nacho cheese posted:



(If you're one of the 20 or so Töans not included in this image, it's because I hate you you'll be in the next one.)

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 5

Strategy: Recruit Them

Employing the thin veneer of detachment afforded him by his face, Gigs approaches Splut's recruitment efforts under the guise of an impartial third-party, arguing in favor of the Toan cause with a certain cold, dispassionate logic (1d100+15 = 52).

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 6

Strategy: Murder the Mayor

Gigs considers the chaos raging around him: the mob, the misdirection, the mayhem, the mayor. He considers the body of Graxon, who died as he'd lived: thoroughly boned. He considers the possibility he could've slept in this morning.

"Hmm..."

Nothing for it. When all hope is lost, kill someone important.

Leaning down, Gigs gingerly plucks Graxon's head from his shoulders. He tosses it to himself, unperturbed by the stares. They were never really close, and yet - in the day or so Gigs had come to know him - he had a hunch this was what his comrade would've wanted. Taking careful aim, he chucks the head like a shot put speeding toward the mayor (1d100+6 = 50).

Gigs' mother had always told him he needed to get ahead in life.

Bad Seafood fucked around with this message at Oct 5, 2017 around 13:09

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


I'd be remiss if I didn't empty quote this without actually empty quoting.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 7

Hmph. Missed. Ah well, there's always the next time someone dies.

Gigs steps into the mayor's office along with the rest of his fellow would-be mayor murders to toss the ex-mayor's mayorly quarters for mayorly loot (1d100+7 = 105).

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 8

"Hmm..."

Gigs' eyes narrow ever so slightly. The exact nature of the note eludes him, but it isn't hard to make an educated guess. He suspects they found something in the mines. Something dangerous perhaps. It's always something.

No doubt Warlord Grimper will wish to know of this.

Gigs stares blankly at the sight of Grimper's nail-studded body. Yes, yes, he's all very tough and angry and scary and twelve-feet-tall and better drawn. Awaiting the proper moment, Gigs approaches the warlord with note in hand. It's the closest he's ever been to his commanding officer. Gigs blinks. He always blinks when he's nervous. He's actually quite terrified - his characteristic nonchalance, his dismissive personality more symptomatic of his meager resignation with this lot in life, rather than any sort of alleged indifference. Either Grimper would command him or he would kill him. When you reduced all options down to those two, it was incredibly easy to wear a fixed face, not that Gigs had ever asked to be born with this face. But it was his all the same, and he was unlikely to locate another one.

The warlord's features glisten in the firelight. Gigs hands over the note and delivers a succinct, to-the-point report regarding where he found it, what it says, and his own reading of its meaning: that there might be something worth finding in the mines. Maintaining his neutral tone, lest Grimper think him presumptive, he suggests interrogating the locals for information regarding the coordinates, and leading a team down there to see what they can dig up (1d100+18 = 28). He offers a quick, sidelong glance in Gado's direction at the mention of digging, wondering if this might not be an opportunity for his associate to redeem himself.

Hopefully the old man would be cool with the new digs.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 9

Gigs had never seen Grimper smile before. He hoped to never do so again.

Also he was in charge now, or something.

"Hmm..."

Gigs considered the group of suicidal volunteers who'd gathered under his command. Gado's penchant for digging holes and Hob's skill at squeezing through them were certainly assets to the mission, as was the promise of security provided by Biggo's fists and Tharbad's...Tharbad-ness. Of course, as a woman of mad science, Sucy's value couldn't be understated either, nor Bamboo's succinct clarity of thought, vision, and speech.

As for Gabber, well, how could Gigs not appreciate another who'd forgone the gift of gab for nobler, more expository pursuits?

The G-Team was ready. Gigs prepared himself, assuming the stiff upper lip that would doubtless be expected of him in a leadership position, and lead his Toans down in the underground (1d100+19 = 106).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwVqOs3Aess

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 10

As advertised, the crew stands before the much obscured and venerable Old Guy Vault.

Gigs scratches his chin.

"Hmm..."

Warlord Grimper already knew this was down here, somewhere. It was tempting to think their job was complete, yet at the same reporting that the thing they knew would be there was where they knew it would be would be insufficient to please their ginormous commander. They'd need to prod a bit further, though how far was a good question. The device outside the door was obviously a delicate contraption, and breaking it could prove disastrous to the mission.

Still, stuff like this usually went wrong with cave-ins and boulder traps and swapping ugly little idols for bags of sand. They'd need to decide whether to merely investigate the outside of the structure, or venture within, but either way they'd require a designated survivor to report their findings should the worst happen.

Gigs plainly explains this to his companions, that their best options are to either analyze the outside or force their way in (without damaging the button-pusher), but in either case that someone should be ready to run back to the surface.

Would there be any volunteers for the coward's way out while the rest of them bravely risked their lives fiddling with bizarre, unknowable technology?

(Sorry for the delay in posting, work stuff came up.)

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 10

Successful Businessmanga posted:

Gado gives the wall a few more exploratory taps with the Bone Tö pick before crossing his arms "We probably have some time before Grimper gets back from his field trip. I imagine if we write up a report and bring it to Magda she might have something that'll help us crack this sucker open in a more controlled manner."

Gado paws at the pouch containing his glory tokens, sadly light on contents. "It might cost us some Glory, but Grimper would probably be happy if we got this thing open ahead of time. Magda certainly seems like she would know about this kind of stuff and working off the suggestion of a professional is a sight more unlikely to end in us all being buried alive or exploded."

Magda being a potentially safer way into the Vault came up on discord, so tossing that idea out there.
Gigs offers a measured nod as Gado voices his opinion. Of all the terrible options before them, this one seems like the least-terrible, while simultaneously proving the most possibly-profitable.

Gigs himself takes to studying the Old Guy Vault and taking notes (1d100+10 = 68), indicating everyone is either to do that or search the surrounding area for any other clues, hints, trinkets, mementos, devices, keys, red pages, blue pages, fish pulleys, or whatever else might prove related to this.

(i.e. once we fill up all four slots for studying the thing, everyone else should poke around exploring the immediate area for anything else that might prove relevant.)

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 11

Dog Kisser posted:

With unbelievable precision, the floor beneath them folded up and into a strange sort of armature, that folded and split again into a number of swinging arms that neatly took their legs off just below the knee. Before they hit the ground, before the blood could flow, a cold pressure touched their stumps and pain halted before it began. Instead, terror rolled over the group in waves, with the injured reeling backwards and the others torn between duty to their comrades, duty to their Warlord, and duty to the needs of their bodies.

But after a moment of shrieking passed, Gigs the Unflappable lived up to his name and inspected the two afflicted. Their legs had been shorn clean off, the skin at the site flat and healthy, as though their limbs had been a solid piece of clay. The severed limbs, too, appeared perfectly healthy… just unattached, and unattacheable. At least one story of the Old Guys was true: they were unimaginably cruel, and capricious. But such machinery! Such grace and power was part of the message - if the Horde wanted to get in, they’d need to prove themselves worthy of it.

(Biggo and Tharbad lose 1 HP and are Crippled, reducing their max HP to 2. In practice, you can fit simple prosthetics to the stumps, so you’re not out of play, and it doesn’t hurt... but it’s a little scary. Also, the legs can be used as a +1 Weapon (four of them), if you’re feeling particularly ghoulish)
Sheesh. Talk about undercutting the competition.

Least they'll have a leg up on combat situations now.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 11

Gigs collects the group's notes and neatly shuffles them together. He'd hoped to learn more, but recent events suggested they wouldn't have a leg to stand on. Returning to the surface, he orders those in good health to double-up and help Biggo and Tharbad up through the catacombs.

Strategy: Lean On The Townspeople

Seems these folks need to be reminded of the cold indifference the powers that be maintain with regards to their petty, pastoral plight (1d100+21 = 86). Gigs makes a point of reminding them while patrolling the village, his stern gaze holding sway over the crowd.

They couldn't have known he was thinking about lunch.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


super sweet best pal posted:

Famous Old Guy diagram found in old medical texts, exact meaning unknown without proper context.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skill: Unflappability
HP: 3
Glory: 12

(Tired. Will edit flavor in later.)

Claiming weapon.

Rolling for scarf (3).

Rolling for Triangulation (26).

Welp.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability, Triangulation
HP: 3
Glory: 13

Strategy: Sprinting

Putting his newly acquired skills to the test, Gigs advocates sprinting while simultaneously charting the best possible course between Points A and B (1d100+23 = 117), where Point A is where they are and Point B is where they should've been yesterday.

Bad Seafood fucked around with this message at Nov 4, 2017 around 17:23

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability, Triangulation
HP: 3
Glory: 14

Strategy: Attack the Laughing One

Gigs knows better than most a Laughing Wendigo is no laughing matter. Fortunately, Gigs hasn't laughed in 17 years, and soon the creature won't even be matter.

Unsheathing his blade, Gigs puts on his best straight man act and lunges at the heart of the beast, undaunted by its gross, overflowing jubilation (1d100+25 = 113). Sinking his sword cane deep into the creature's gibbering flesh, he raises a lone fist to the heavens before hammering down on the hilt, forcing the weapon deeper into the beast.

They say true comedy hurts, but secretly Gigs preferred a straightforward punchline.

Bad Seafood fucked around with this message at Nov 8, 2017 around 08:20

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability, Triangulation
HP: 1/3
Glory: 15

Gigs gazes up from the floor, his vision blurry, getting worse. He hears a sound like wine from an uncorked bottle. The sound is close, uncomfortable, and only just to loud to ignore, which was really the worst part. Couldn't get it out of his head.

"H-mph...mmm...."

Raising his sword cane, carefully, he jabs it twice in the air, indicating that however much time he might have left in this world, he would very much appreciate it if Warlord Grimper would push beyond and ensure the Loud and Laughing Wendigos had even less time.

Bad Seafood fucked around with this message at Nov 10, 2017 around 14:18

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability, Triangulation
HP: 3
Glory: 16

Gigs blinks. He could've sworn he was...huh, well, nevermind then.

Standing up, he brushes himself off and approaches Warlord Grimper with his notes in hand, slightly crumpled, smelling faintly of wendigo entrails. And he thought they smelled bad on the outside.

Summoning up his reserves of carefully calculated professional indifference, he quickly informs Grimper as to what's what and what's wack about the Old Guy Vault, including the deathtrap funhouse bit, and stands ready for further instructions (1d100+26 = 67).

(EDIT: I forget what the ruling is with regards to whether or not our skills reset during downtime, so you may need you mentally subtract 10 from my result, if that even matters.)

Bad Seafood fucked around with this message at Nov 14, 2017 around 08:19

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability (+15), Triangulation (+10)
HP: 3
Glory: 17

Strategy: Keep Guard On Our Wagons

Dropping his game of mental hopscotch, Gigs realizes all too late he's missed his bid to investigate the Old Guy Vault Proper. Ah well, them's the breaks.

Surveying the scene, Gigs decides to throw his lot in with the caravan guards, triangulating the most likely avenues of attack and preparing accordingly (1d100+27 = 43). After that run-in with the wendigo, he certainly wouldn't say no to an easier post.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability (+15), Triangulation (+10)
HP: 3
Glory: 18

Strategy: Attack the Dance-Fighters

Spurred awake by the influx of violence, groovitude, and fighting spirit, Gigs yawns and stumbles into the fray. Due to his unsettling ability to sleep upright with his eyes open, it seems none of his companions thought to rouse him from his (presumed) observational neutrality. Ah, well.

"Hmm..."

Taking stock of the amateur hour unfolding before him, Gigs - unmoved by the rhythm of the fight - decides to break a leg. Specifically, someone else's (1d100+34 = 122).

Bad Seafood fucked around with this message at Dec 4, 2017 around 18:58

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability (+15), Triangulation (+10)
HP: 3
Glory: 19

Strategy: Hold Agenou Back

They say it takes more than that to kill a bull goose. Too bad Bully wasn't. There was blood on the dance floor, and mustache hair from multiple sources.

Scooping up his fallen comrade's weapon, a sword cane in the style of his own, Gigs holds the blades apart. He begins turning, turning faster. Faster and faster, eyes shut, his face in gentle repose, the proper course charted well in advance. A battlefield blender, a Fro' processor (1d100+30 = 130).

Positioning himself between the main event and the backup, Gigs begins to hum a once-forgotten tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGNiXGX2nLU

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability (+15), Triangulation (+10)
HP: 3
Glory: 21

Well. That worked. Alright.

Taking what tufts remain of Agenou's once-fantabulous mustache, Gigs takes a minute to clean both blades before sheathing them. Mustaches to ashes, dust to dust. His sword at this side, he examines Bully's cane, holding it as he might a telescope. Now that the battle was over, this technically qualified as loot, spoils. He could probably keep it if he wanted. Helicopter his way into the hearts of more unsuspecting enemy commanders, whatever that meant.

"Hmm..."

Gigs had never been one for overt sentimentality. Glancing about the battlefield, he spied Gloff. Bully's good friend and soapbox-provider. Gigs had scarcely known Bully himself, but the tiny orator and the gentle giant had been known collaborators. Approaching Gloff, Gigs takes Bully's cane in both hands and, nodding reverently, offers it to the strongman.

Returning to the loot pile, Gigs picks over a few items before settling on the arrow flatpack as his freebie, though he makes an attempt to salvage one of the bowharps as well (1d100 = 74). Pulling his things from the pile, Gigs suddenly spies Bully's oratory skillcore. Well now. A man of few words, Gigs nonetheless appreciated the power of a few well-chosen syllables, arranged efficiently, to spur the masses. Mulling it over, he decides to take the oratory skillcore (1d100 = 91).

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability (+15), Triangulation (+10), Oratory (+10)
HP: 3
Glory: 21

After considering the options, Gigs throws in for Noostra.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability (+15), Triangulation (+10), Oratory (+10)
HP: 3
Glory: 21

AJ_Impy posted:

He took Portha's dismissal in stride, and moved on to the next candidate, one whose sangfroid could give his own a run for its money. The inheritor of Bully's skillcore, whose bravery and quick thinking had been vital in holding the enemy commander back from their battered warlord in the most recent fracas.

"Gigs, I'm drawing together a squad of Infiltrators with Grimper's go-ahead, and your proven cunning in the crucible of battle, persuasive capabilities and impeccable track record would make you an ideal candidate. Is this of interest to you?"
"Hmm..."

Entertaining the alternatives for only the briefest, most fleeting of moments, though not so quick as to seem over-eager, Gigs nods in response to Splut's proposal. Finally. It's about time his contributions to the team were appreciated. Like that one time he got two people's legs cut off. Or that other time he stared noncommittally at the townspeople. Or that other other time he slept strategically through the majority of a major battle.

Who knows. With enough luck, he just might find himself wearing a suit as nice as his compatriot's.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability (+15), Triangulation (+15), Oratory (+10)
HP: 1/3
Glory: 22

Gigs blinks as though in a haze. He seems to have an arrow in him.

"Hmm..."

He plucks the arrow free. It's a suitably nasty-looking thing, though no more nasty than anything else the day's thrown at them. He imagines the archer will want it back.

Giving the arrow a little twirl, Gigs catches it and pulls it back on his bow. Triangulating the sniper's position based on the trajectory of the hole currently leaking lifeblood into the fabric of his nice new uniform - when did he get such a nice new uniform anyway - he releases the arrow in attempt to return to sender (1d100+37 = 69).

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability (+15), Triangulation (+15), Oratory (+10)
HP: 1/3
Glory: 23

"Hmm."

Taking only the briefest of moments to silently evaluate his superior officer's suit, Gigs opts to help with the wounded. There are always wounded, after all. He'd seen worse, but also better. Rolling up his sleeves, Gigs attempts to bring stability to the proceedings with his dispassionate bedside manner (1d100+33 = 61). He tells it like it is: they're all going to die. Eventually. Everyone is. But so long as they're waiting, maybe they can pull through, win one for the Grimper.

Distancing himself from the screams, Gigs ponders what sort of hat would suit him best. He'd never been one for hats, but apparently one would be required for future infiltration squad engagements. His eyes narrow ever-so-slightly.

"Hmm..."

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Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.




Name: Gigs
Skills: Unflappability (+20), Triangulation (+15), Oratory (+10)
HP: 3/3
Glory: 24

Gigs acknowledges his orders with a single nod. Taking stock of his probable role in the party, he settles on crafting a few homing arrows, using his knowledge of triangulation to design them just so, improving the swallow-like airspeed velocity of each. (1d100+39 = 71).

"Hmm..."

The secret to homing arrows, of course, is to always claim you hit what you were aiming at. One way or another, these will suffice.

EDIT: With the captain's orders bonus (+10), that's 81.

Bad Seafood fucked around with this message at Apr 19, 2018 around 13:15

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