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Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


[Phone posting, sorry for any mistakes!]

Name: Hat
Picture: F7
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3

Hat makes hats. Hats are very useful things, and so Hat is a very useful person to have around. You might be surprised at the things you can pull out of a hat, or the myriad of possibilities that the right headgear can provide. So, if you want to get ahead, get a Hat! Dislikes eggs.

-----

Gotta get through that gate. Hat sees the people digging, and decides to join them, using one of her many hats as a shovel. Or is it a spade? Something to think about as she digs.

Digging, with a hat: 1d100+10 67

Horde Vote: Warlord Grimper's Barmy Army!

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Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


Name: Hat
Picture: F7
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Glory: 1!

Placing a hat full to the stylish brim with dirt and small fragments of flooring back upon her head, Hat hefts her army regulation pointy stick and attacks the fiendish stick person in front of her.

Fighting stickmen with sticks: 1d100+1 11 Womp womp!

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


Name: Hat
Picture: F7
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Glory: 2!

Relieved that her terrible stick-fighting skills had somehow avoided censure, Hat found a quiet corner and pulled her hat's brim over her eyes to help her sleep. The next day, she listened to Warlord Grimper's suggestions (or were they orders?). Hat voted for Scoping them out, but on hearing Gabber's plan of disguise, she said "Maybe the soldiers going out to scope the caravan could be disguised as Frö soldiers. I could try and whip up some convincing enemy helmets, to aid the disguise; at the very least, they'll have their heads protected."

Making convincing enemy helmets: 1d100+10+2 98

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



HP: 3/3
Glory: 3

The infiltration was a blur. Hat was extremely apprehensive as she approached the enemy; she'd always bought pre-butchered meat, and was unsure if she'd ever killed another creature. Well, save for the odd spider that made its home in the old hat shop; those got squished on sight. And I guess you could think of all these Frö troops as spiders in a weird form. If you squint. And think really hard.

She watched the troops march in front of her small group's hiding spot. She saw them stop, and could just make out Gabs and their team putting the grand plan into action. Taking a deep breath, she took a few steps forward out of the treeline and sauntered up to the rear of the enemy army. The Frö soldiers' helmets looked a bit muddier than the ones she had concoted. She had forgotten to weather them! Once you knew what to look for, her team stuck out like a sore thumb. Her heart was beating out of her ribcage. Would anyone notice?

"Hey," one of the Frömen said to her. "I like your helmet." And he smiled. A kindly smile, of the sort that Hat hadn't seen in years. And he looked nice.

And then the whole army heard an almighty cry of TÖANS! as Rik's song started, and all hell broke loose. Hat took a deep breath, and as the smiling Fröman turned toward the din, Hat muttered "Spider!" and stuck her pointy stick into his neck.

-----

The scale of the victory surprised Hat. The helmets had held up; not a single Töman had died, and she didn't think the few medics the army possessed had been unduly troubled in the aftermath. On a barely perceptible nod from Grimper, the squad descended on the fallen, looking for anyting that might improve their chances in the next battle. A few shouts of "Skillcore!" drove everyone into a frenzy, covering themselves in the blue blood of the fallen Frömen. Ignoring Gabber's mumblings about her possible spyhood, Hat joined the fray. She kept her searching simple, looking for pieces of armour, something that would protect her in future, and that hadn't been broken when unsuccessfully protecting their previous owner.

She turned over another enemy body. It- He was still smiling.

Looting for armour: 1d100 87

This might help others: ö can be typed by holding down Alt and typing 0246 on your numberpad. If on a computer. And capital Ö is Alt + 0214.

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Leather Armour (+1)
Glory: 4

Hat sat quietly next to a campfire, working the seam of her newly-acquired leather armour. Sturdy stuff, it just needed a little adjustment for the modern Töwoman in today's battlefields. And protection was important; red blood had been spilled this day after all, two stupid fools looting where they shouldn't be. She could hear Ringo's howl of pain over Splut's verbal ointments. She felt sorry for him; the poisoning hero of the previous battle, now revealed as a squad-thief. As for the other fool, well, there was an object lesson in how to behave in The Unexpectable Horde: DO WHAT GRIMPER SAYS.

Hat looked up at Shiny's approach, red-bloodstained topknot in hand, and quickly agreed to help. Her speciality was more focused on what was above people's scalps, rather than the scalps themselves. Still, there was a a lot of raw material there, so Hat put her adjusted armour on and started work on a hat for Ringo while Magda addressed the Horde.

Making a hat for Ringo: 1d100+10+4 47

When the time came to discuss the Horde's next move, Hat voted for the mining town of Fostis; where there's a mine, there'll be mining helmets, which will offer some protection to our forces.

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Leather Armour (+1)
Glory: 5

Hat looked across at the blending-in team. It worked last time, maybe try it again? But this wasn't a smallish squad of tired soldiers, but a bustling town of industry and metal, in enemy territory to boot. Lots of rested, observant eyes. Sure, there were Töans in Fostis, but too big a clump of blue-skins might attract the wrong kind of attention. She wished the squad the best of luck, and considered the scouting assignments. The foothills seemed far too treacherous; the estimated risk ("Thanks, Qwäg!") of injury far outweighing the number of soldiers requested. No, better to scout up high, get the most information we can with a smaller team, and hopefully fewer team members will come to harm. Her mind made up, Hat wandered over to Mason, Flitter and Pythag, and started discussing the best route up the mountainside.

Climbing (Scout Up Higher): 1d100+5 26

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Leather Armour (+1)
Glory: 6

Climbing was not Hat's cup of tea. It was only thanks to the able assistance of Flitter and Gawp that she had managed to make the summit without causing herself a grevious injury. Still, the view was worth it; the mining town all laid out in front of them, our soldiers mingling with the crowds, the fields beyond the town boundaries, the clump of stick-ogres ahead of Grimper's position, the Fröan soldiers marching toward them with swords aloft... Only then did the sound of three alarm bells reach Hat's ears. Ah, she thought. The Jig Is Up.

She was distracted from the viewpoint by a whump sound from inside. Entering the room, she saw Mason reeling from his first headbutt attempt. Trying to bash down the door with a completely unprotected head! This wouldn't do. As Gado set to work digging divots, Hat quickly located a spare mining helmet, discarded by a lazy miner due to its faulty light, slapped some spare padding inside and plonked it on Mason's head. "There you go. See if that helps," she said to the Töan battering ram.

Helping Mason break down that door with a new hat!: 1d100+10+6 111

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Leather Armour (+1)
Glory: 7

After having spent the past few hours carefully carrying explosives out of the storeroom and to the mountain squad's improvised artillery forces (with a spare strip of fabric covring her nose and mouth, portecting her from the worst of the odours), Hat breathed a sigh of relief as the army re-assembled in front of Grimper. Again, minimal injuries for most of the squad, and only the one fatality, which had lead the enemy leader to fall into our other decapitation strike team. And in the other column, one mining town now under Töan control, a dozen or so new recruits, and a few hours of recommended looting.

Hat decided to tag along with the hero of the hour, Noggins, and Biggo as they and a few other soldiers headed toward the craftsman's district. Ideally, they'd find a disaffected Töan smith willing to throw their lot in with the Unexpectables and join the army; in the worst case scenario, there were bound to be a few hat shops that would let her replenish her hat-making materials.

Looting the craftsman's district: 1d100 27

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Leather Armour (+1)
Glory: 8

Hat watched Noggins come out of a home near the Craftsman's quarters with something bulky under her arm and a wide grin on her face. At least someone's found something worthwhile, she thought. The hat shop she was in had plenty of fabric and small pins and thread and stuff to replenish her work-bag, and a few coins of the local currency, but nothing really suitable for army life. The miner's helmets must be constructed, or stored, nearer the mine.

Folding the bag closed, Hat left the shop and headed for the camp, for some ritual. She saw a few Fröan stragglers be frog-marched ahead of her; and a few Töans, too. Looking around she realised that she must be passing through what passed for Fostis's Töantown; a street or two where the population had happened to congregate, allowing a few entrepeneurs to set up small businesses catering to the Töans with delicacies and memories of home. Why, there was even a classic Töan pub! It looked like the place had been named The Queen's Head, with a lovely portrait of Queen Reina on the sign, but some gutter-snipe had graffiti'd the sign with crosses over the Queen's eyes and re-named the establishment The Queen's Dead. The handful of local coins were burning a hole in Hat's pocket; maybe, once whatever this meeting was about was over, she could sneak away for a pint of something cold and a (reasonably) soft bed.

And then, the Ritual.

No wonder Grimper needed Magda. Surely this was the reason for their first battle; to enslave the enemy, to turn their labour towards our ends. And the number of nails- sorry, Nails- in Grimper's body! How many people did he control in this way? Was there a nail somewhere on Hat's body, an unseen lump of metal forcing her to fight for her Queen and country? Would the Nail's strange magic even allow her to perceive it on her body, or was hiding it from the victim all part of the charm?

Luckily, others were having similar thoughts, and the Horde followed Grimper to a pub (Was it the one Hat had seen earlier? She wasn't sure; the Ritual having delayed the town's street-lighters from their work) and he explained further. How he'd killed a Fröan Smith, even while under her spell. The sheer amount of willpower that must have taken... Hat turned around on her stool and tried to catch the barmaid's eye. Another drink was desperately needed.

As the alcohol started to flow, Hat struck up a conversation with one of the locals brave/addicted enough to stay in the bar with the occupying army's chieftain. She decided to follow Bully and Splut's example from earlier, and hoped the barfly's booze-addled mind (and brand new Nail) might make him more forthcoming with local knowledge.

Asking the barfly for information: 1d100+8 104

Edit: minor grammar fixes.

Cloud Potato fucked around with this message at Oct 12, 2017 around 23:40

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Leather Armour (+1)
Glory: 9

Hat woke up. This was a mistake, and she immediately regretted it. Her brain was trying to escape out of any hole it could find, her stomach was complaining loudly about something, the Horde seemed twice as loud as they usually were, and somebody had stuck a nail in her left shoulder, right through one of the straps of her armour. Her memories of the previous night were very hazy; she was in the pub, talking to a local who seemed very excited about telling her... something, then blackness, then chanting, then being sick somewhere, then being dragged to the circle for the Nail Ritual. Must have been too drunk to even move the shoulder-strap aside. Ugh. Hat pulled the rim of her hat down low, to block out the horrible bright light, and set off in search of water and some of Patsy's wonderful cooking.

As she slowly picked at the bread - "No, nothing's wrong, tastes great! Just, you know, savouring it is all!" - she heard the cooks discuss the Vote going around the camp, about how much food to take from the newly-captured town. She decided to vote to only take the smallest amount available, hoping that a benevolent approach would ease the fears and soothe the parts of the population's minds that weren't under Grimper's control.

She had almost shaken her hangover off as she listened to Grimper explain the various work parties that were about to form. Two items in the list seemed to jog her drunken memory; the barfly had said something about a lake in the forest near town, where he'd often fish (in fact, it was the lures in his fishing hat that she had opened up the conversation asking about); but that it'd have to wait for a while, since the supply caravan was coming to the crossroads a few hours' South of Fostis, due to collect crates of ore and to deliver all sorts of things the town used. Hat was willing to intercept the shipments coming to Fostis, but Noggins's talk of ambushing the caravan entirely gave her pause. What was better for the Horde, to let Fröan society continue to believe all was well in Fostis, or to deny the enemy the additional supplies the caravan was surely carrying? Either way, once again some manner of disguise was called for; maybe Hat could convert the hats used to infiltrate Magda's caravan with the Fostis crest, or at least convince some of the new Frö recruits to join the party - they'd be expecting red bodies, after all.

I'm assuming my 104 on gathering info at the bar will help with this coming challenge in some way as well. Don't want that roll going to waste!
Making hats to look like the shipment's intended receivers: 1d100+10+9 78

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Leather Armour (+1)
Glory: 10

Crossroads, South of Fostis
It was a good plan. Let the salestöan and bluffer do the talking, and Noggins will try and curry favor by fixing the wagons and endearing the town to the caravan crew. And as for Hat? Well, someone's got to carry the boxes.

She and a few of the other soldiers were about a third of the way through the piles of boxes when Skup mentioned another caravan getting knocked over. At that, one of the Fröan soldiers from the caravan helping with the carrying spat on the ground. "loving Töans. I had a cousin on that squad, Stans. Lovely fellow, tons of hair, still owed me 5 Coin. The thought of his Sitting Quietly skillcore inside the body of one of those blue bastards, honestly, it makes me sick." He spat again, as Hat tried to obscure her blue body from his sight with the box in her hands. "Ah, present company excepted, I guess," he continued. "As long as that Nail in ya's keeping ya on the Red Team's side. You're one of the good ones. But the next unNailed blue bastard I see, honestly, once I'm done with 'em, they won't be Töan, they'll be Tö-ast!"

Keep calm, Hat thought to herself. Don't be provoked into tipping the whole plan sideways, just keep your mouth shut and carry boxes.

Thankfully, the angry Fröan kept quiet after that outburst, and soon Hat overheard something else. "Commander Sikatris". Hat imagined any information about the enemy's forces would be useful to Grimper; even something as simple as their location would help the Horde decide where to avoid/attack. Once all the boxes had been loaded, and seeing that none of the others had risked such a direct question, Hat walked up to Skup and tried her best to affect an air of nonchalance.

"So, uh, Commander Sikatris, huh? What's she up to?"

Asking Skup a question: 1d100+10 31 And then saying thanks and leaving. (Hey, is :töhdear: over there worth an Art Glory?)

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


Here's version 1 of my flag design:



I was inspired by the flag of the Republic of the Congo, but changed the colours to represent the Töan people and their blood. And on top of that we have "The Crown of a Hundred Points", symbolising the Töan monarchy and their love of the number 100. (You're viewing it side-on, so there's only 51 points visible!)

Sadly, this first attempt rather more resembles a comb.

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


Flag of Tö, version 2: Using a version of the crown that appeared in the OP, based on The Lord Of Hats's design.

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


National flag: L

Unexpectables banner: E

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Leather Armour (+1)
Glory: 11
Ritual Glory: 1

The journey back to the camp was uneventful. Hat was glad Splut had managed to ask a follow-up question about Sikatris, even if the information they'd got wasn't the enemy commander's location, which is what she was hoping for. Still, they had the weapons and armour (and scarves!), so surely Grimper would be pleased, and any information about the enemy was gravy.

As the Crossroads force crested a hill and saw the welcoming wagons of the Unexpectables' current campsite, and seeing the appointed mustering time was still a couple of hours away, some of them split off and started running to the forest, hoping to link up with Gawp's team and forage some extra food for tonight's meal. This meant that they weren't around to hear Gigs's tale of woe in the vault and Portha's retelling of the encounter with the Fostisian Free Alliance. The news of unNailed Fröan rebels injuring members of the Horde drove the recently returned members wild with anger.

Noggins posted:

She drew her sword and pointed it dramatically at the mines, another scrap of her cape flying off in the breeze. "If they have their way, they're going to get us all killed--and the rest of Fostis too, while they're at it. I say we don't give them the chance! Let's go down there and show them what Töans are really made of!"

Seeing some of the Vault team brandishing their own recently amputated legs as weapons, Hat thought that last comment was rather more on-the-nose than Noggins expected.

While Gigs, Bamboo, and some others started knocking on doors and compelling Nailed citizens to answer their direct questions, Hat again followed Noggins, this time into the mine. Töan blood had been spilt; that was enough cause to crush this rebellion right now. Like it or not, this was war. She was a soldier. Time to kill, again. Hat hefted her pointed stick, and followed the Horde towards the rebels.

Raiding the caves: 1d100+11 54

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Leather Armour (+1)
Glory: 12
Ritual Glory: 1 -> 0

Hat watched the rear of the squad, as instructed. As the battle began and the screams of the doomed Fröan resistance echoed though the mine, the few members that were waiting in the ambush spots ran back to defend/avenge their comrades... and got the pointy end of a sharp stick through their neck for their trouble. And with the Nail-knowledge echoing in her head, her blows now effortlessly avoiding the skillcore-sensitive areas, a strange grin started to creep across Hat's face. No doubt about it; the killing was getting easier.

The rebellion safely vanquished and the skillcores and valuables collected, the squard returned to the camp to see Magda opening the caravan supplies. Hat instantly sprinted towards the box she was sure she had seen the scarves in last...

One scarf, please!: 1d100 83

... and, quickly stuffing her prize under her hat for safety, joined the queue for a new weapon. The pointy stick had ended up serving her well; she hoped there were a few spears left in the crates.

Taking a weapon; ideally a spear, but if they're out/DogKisser doesn't want to draw one, a sword is fine.

Her own selfish desires sated for the moment, Hat felt it was time to contribute back to the Horde's well-being. She dropped a single, solitary Glory token into the Luck's Fickle Gaze jar and wandered the camp, finding herself standing outside the medical tent. She was surprised at the number of injured Töans the Horde had accumulated up to now. Taking a deep breath, she went inside and offered her services to the nearest medic. She didn't know much anatomy, but bandages were sort of like hats for wounds, right??

Assisting the medics: 1d100+12+10 87

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


Prince of Space posted:

ANNOUNCEMENT
... Hat, you can still roll for a skillcore!


Name: Hat
Skill: Millinery
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1)
Glory: 12

Oh! Actually, just before Hat went into the medical tent, she noticed a lack of people standing around the small skillcore display stand. Usually one of the busiest parts of the camp post-battle, with lots of Töans seeking to improve themselves in all manner of useful and semi-useful ways. Hat had always avoided the scrum; unless there was something like "Haberdashery", she was happy to let the others take what they wanted. But no-one was paying the stand much attention, and there looked to be a few skillcores still available. Hat walked over and looked at the labels someone had drawn up. (How did they know what skills the skillcore contained? The Nail only spoke of how to take them out of people, nothing about discerning their properties.) One label in particular caught her eye: Backflips.

Imagine! Jumping out of tricky situations with an unexpected (unexpectable!) spring! Climbing made much easier! Outflanking enemies by thinking vertically! This skill core might be a good idea. Hat reached out her hand...

Rolling for the Backflips skillcore: 1d100 50

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


Astus posted:


As his cell is opened, Dack gives Snödis a thumbs-up (one of the only signs he can give that can actually be understood by others), and dives through the legs of one of the guards before sprinting away. Where he runs doesn't matter as much as that he keeps running and the guards keep chasing. As long as something happens before he gets exhausted, that's good enough. And with all the marathons Dack has participated in over the years, a little running around isn't going to tire him out any time soon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery, Backflips
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1)
Glory: 13

Hat left the medical tent in a bit of a daze, the complaints from the real medics ringing in her ears. Her overzealous efforts at bandaging any and every malady her hordemates had suffered didn't seem to have had any effect on them at all. Maybe she wasn't cut out for medical assistance. She sighed and wandered back to her bedroll, feeling a little despondent, her hands in her armour's pockets - where they found the skillcore.

She took it out and gave it a close look. A purplish, meaty mass about the size of a plum. The Nail throbbing in her left shoulder told her of the best way to extract and handle these concentrated spheres of knowledge, but precious little about how to administer them. Just in the past couple of hours, she'd seen one swallowed whole and another touched to the eyeballs. It seemed the way to integrate the skillcore was based on what skill was inside it. And since this one was 'Backflips', hmm. Hat stepped out of her tent and found a soft-ish spot of ground nearby. She crouched down, threw the skillcore up into the sky above her, and then jumped-

-and landed awkwardly on her back. The skillcore thunked onto her armour, and rolled to the side. Bugger this for a game of soldiers, Hat thought, and just picked up and swallowed the skillcore instead.

Suddenly, the knowledge was flowing through her brain and body. Her calves strengthened, her knees more flexible. She adopted the correct stance, arms stretched up, not looking at the ground but the horizon. And then, a simple matter of crouch, swing the arms, and jump and tuck and bend knees and land and arms out in front. She'd done it! A perfect backflip. Had anyone seen it? She looked-

-and the call went up from Magda. To Nägel, now!! Hat picked up her hat from where it had fallen mid-jump, and set about breaking camp. Maybe her new-found jumping ability would help her keep a quick pace?

Voting for a Quick March, I'm worried about those multipliers. I fear that even second speed would have a roughly 50% chance of failure no matter how well all of us roll.
Quick March to Nägel, with backflip power!: 1d100+13+10 52

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery, Backflips
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 14

It turns out you can't backflip continuously for over a day of solid marching. After setting off with high hopes and a spring in her step, Hat heard the grumbles from some of the others about "showing off" and "being distracting". And what a relentless pace! Only a few hours in and Hat was lagging back by the wagons, slowly putting one foot in front of the other. Time didn't matter. Jumping or hats didn't matter. The boring, monotonous Fröan countryside certainly didn't matter. Nägel was all that mattered.

Hat looked around at the rest of the Horde's rearguard. The poor, unfortunate souls who'd drawn wagon duty; the ever-encouraging voice of Magda, shaming, berating and insulting all those slow enough to remain in earshot; and a clump of coughing, spluttering mooks who had met Sungazer, and were discovering that the march was causing their Skinkellelomas to flare up, pustules erupting for every hard-earned mile. Hat covered her face with the scarf in a feeble attempt to ward off the pox. She tried to tap into some deeper knowledge from the Skillcore; the best way to run and approach a backflip, perhaps? Anything to make this accursed march end.

The sun disappeared. They marched on.
The sun reappeared. Still they marched on.

One would assume that Nägel, fearsome prison, was at least partially designed to look intimidating, the very sight of it being the first step in irretrievably breaking your body and spirit as you capitulated to your new Fröan masters. For the rest of the Horde, it had the opposite effect, gladdening their hearts and spurring all of them on to their journey's rest. The sudden appearance of sixty-odd Töans cheering on the plain must have been quite a surprise to those Fröans trying to sneakily escape to the nearest town, which is probably why they broke cover and started to make a dash for it. An understandable reaction, but revealing your presence to a tired and bored Horde made it the last mistake they ever made. Hat was half-asleep with exhaustion, and wasn't 100% sure these enemies were even real, but the cobalt blood on the end of her newly-forged spear certainly felt and smelled real enough.

And finally, they were in the prison. No more fast walking. A chance to sit for a few minutes, quickly refill the water canteen from the prison's taps and catch up with the rest of the Horde. Just in time to see those vault hinges crack, and to descend into whatever madness lay ahead.

Oh piss. Wendigos. The realisation was a sudden bolt of energy. Hat hugged the left wall, trying to get close to the Ugly one. Muttering a quiet prayer that her spear's length would protect her from infection, Hat rasied it above average Töan height, so as to avoid any friendlies, and charged.

Attacking the Ugly Wendigo: 1d100+14+1 61

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery, Backflips
HP: 3/3 for now...
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 15

The Unexpectables were nothing if not enthusiastic about fighting whatever was in their way. And they all gave a good account of themselves against the three horrors and their captors.

But the Wendigos were stronger.

Hat was unsure if the ringing in her her ears was the Loud one's sonic attacks, or the screams of the injured. Or her own screams. She pulled her spear out of the Ugly one, towering before her all snarl and gnash and fist, ran back a few paces - so much blood, so much red blood - juked to the left, took a step forward and thrust her spear again into the beast's hide, catching a vicious blow from its arm. Knocked back and sprawled on the floor, her eyes had a chance to take in the rest of the battle - but it didn't seem like any of the others had made a breakthrough either. Then she saw a welcome sight: Grimper, charging up some sort of weird magic poo poo. And aiming it at the other two monsters.

Hat got up. Stay to the left, avoid magic poo poo, she thought, before running back into the fray. She had a spear to reclaim.

Voting to Push Beyond - Laughing and Loud Wendigos.

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery, Backflips
HP: 1/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 16

Spear back in hand, Hat and the others kept on fighting the Ugly Wendigo. As Grimper powered his way through the other monsters, a burst of light emanated from him and for one brief second it all made sense; Hat's shadow standing proud over the Wendigo's body, a symbol of Tö's inevitable triumph in this war.

The light faded, and reality presented itself once again. The Wendigos were dead. They'd won, but at a heavy cost. Not one of the Horde who had fought the Ugly Wendigo was uninjured. And three of them had perished, one still in the monster's horrible grip. A pang of sadness washed over Hat; they'd protected her from the beast's worst blows, had given up their lives for the Horde, and she had absolutely no idea who they were, what skills they possessed, where they came from. She struggled to recall seeing their faces before now; one had been part of her infiltration team on the caravan that held Magda, and one had helped intercept the Fostis shipment. Hearing Grimper's orders, Hat quicked muttered a half-remembered version of the Töan funeral liturgy, and then sought out the Warlord.

"Sir, before I forget. The shipment interception went well, we got 50 weapons, 50 armour, 10 of these scarves, and some other stuff. The convoy leader mentioned travelling to Noostra and Skelivanch, and the enemy's leader in this area is a Commander Sikatris. Now, if you'll-"

With her final task complete, the adrenaline in her body wore off and Hat's injuries finally caught up with her. She collapsed where she stood. She felt a Hordemate's hands pick her up and put her on a makeshift stretcher, heading for the medic's temporary setup. The long march, the fight with the fleeing guards and the horrendous Wendigo battle had all taken their toll. Time, finally, to sleep.

-----

Hat awoke, lying in a cot in the medic's camp. She looked over at the bed next to her; a Töan, another one of the people she didn't know. That ends now, she thought. No more unknown soldiers. Hat gingerly eased her right arm out of the bed and held it out for a handshake.

"Hey, I don't think we've met. I'm (points at her hat) Hat. What's your name?"

Healing mooks with the power of friendship!: 1d100+16 109

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery, Backflips
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 17

Hat felt great! Better than she'd felt in quite a while! The medics had done a wonderful job and must have slipped a little something extra in with the anesthetic. She'd survived! Everything was great, and surely everyone in the prison was her friend. (Maybe not the folks in the cells, though. Do they need feeding?) She struck up a conversation with all the patients in her ward, asking basic questions, trying to get to know them. What's your name? Been Hordeing long? How long do you give the Fröans before our inevitable triumph?

The medics finally got tired of her almost constant talking, verging on interrogating the poor unfortunates who were still convalescing, and gently shooed her out of the medical area. Hat walked around in a bit of a daze, the drugs keeping her smiling at all the fellow soldiers. She listened to the lecture on Resonation, quietly wondering if her comination of Millinery and Backflips was too wide a gap to ever trigger the phenomenon.

Once the story time had ended Hat continued her wanderings, stumbling upon Pythag in his spiffy armour, looking at strips of fabric and frowning. She listened carefully as he explained his idea for a Mutamesh. An interesting concept, but she wasn't sure if he could thread a needle. She grabbed her hat-making kit and sat down, following his instructions and trying to make his dream a reality.

Assisting Pythag with his Mutamesh: 1d100+10+17 59

The drugs were just starting to wear off when the Horde was summoned to their second Nail Ritual. They took the edge off most of the pain of the nail insertion. Will she have to face the next ceremony sober? A worrying thought. Then Grimper threated Zapanda, one of the nice people who'd healed her earlier. Hat voted to spare the Ex-Administrator. When it came time to ask Grimper for another nugget of information, Hat spoke up.

"The word going around the Horde is that Noostra's looking like our next stop. What can you tell us about it? What should we expect?"

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery, Backflips
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 18

Het cleared her throat and stood up.

"OK, let's try and reason this out. De-Nailing and killing all the Fostis peeps is unconscionable. Can't get on board with it, pretty much war crimes, which we know is a thing, sorry. Therefore, two options: Fostis, or Noostra.

Fostis has the vault, which almost certainly has Oh-Gee goodies inside, but getting in might require sacrifice, even with the key. It also makes Noostra harder.

Noostra, we don't know the situation, we know it's rich but that's about it. Also it will make getting back to the Fostis vault harder, they'll almost certainly try and turn it into a trap for us. But, crucially, I don't think the enemy will be able to crack the vault by themselves. It's a long shot, but the vault might even reduce the enemy's number by a few for us if we're real lucky.

So I'm voting Noostra, for now."

(Alternative crazy third option: Go into woods, find Sungazer, feed him Wendigo meat, wait, he becomes Wendigazer, have him 'chase' us to [town of choice], let him run amok.)

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery, Backflips
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 18

Her vote cast, Hat stepped away from the centre of the Horde's gathering and tried to seek out Pythag, to apologize for the lack of Mutamesh progress and to discuss ways to improve it. She was wandering through the crowd with the sample in her hand when Snödis suddenly approached her. What would the Horde's most outspoken Monsterist say if she knew Hat had just been working on a way to avoid contracting the ailment/"blessing"? She quickly stuffed the sample under her armour with her left hand, while trying to return the salute with her right.

Swedish Thaumocracy posted:


"Comräde Hat! You are aware of my new position, yes? Good, excellent. I have a requisition for you. I need a Hat of Office, and only the finest quality will do. Something snazzy, a captains cap with the Neötype Logo.
Sturdy enough to protect from injury, fancy enough to be a show of authority and most importantly out of the way enough to not impede my vision. I'm sure you can manage it.

As for the matter of your payment, I'm sure something can be arranged. After all, I am a Captain. Be it glory or raw materials, or perhaps a little favor down the line... well. I'm sure you get the idea.
I expect it to be finished before our first official engagement."

"Yes, our first promotion! Firstly, congratulations. I'm sure you'll do us all proud. And you'd like a hat? Wonderful, now, if I may, please..." Hat conjured up a tape measure and wrapped it around Snödis's head. "23, that's great. Leave it with me, I'll get right on it!" Hat shook her new customer's hand and walked confidently away to an empty cell...

...where she almost collapsed in panic. Her skillcore! She'd expended a lot of hat-making energy helping Pythag, and the knowledge she needed was only coming to her in fits and starts, a sure sign of overwork. It still needed some time to "cool down", as some Töans put it. How could she produce a hat without her skillcore? Think, Hat, think...

Fifteen minutes later, Hat took a deep breath and approached Magda, a small sheet of paper in her hand. "Oh hello, hoarder," Magda said, her tone dripping in sarcasm. "Have we met? Yes, we had a few of your kind in the Asskickers, never spending their precious Glory. And where are they now, eh? All that Glory bleeding out their corpses on some lovely Fröan hill. No good to anyone. Now, what'd you want?"

Hat put the piece of paper on the counter. "One official Töan Uniform Requisition Form. For one hat, Peaked Cap with Visor, red crown, black brim, for distribution to those of Captain rank. Not sure why Snödis didn't come here first, as Quartermaster I'm sure you've got a few stored away."

Magda snorted. "I was rescued from enemy captivity. Why would I have any regular Army clobber here?"

"C'mon, you must have something," Hat pleaded. "I'm sure they didn't just send Grimper out here with only 100 pointy sticks and a mission to fulfil. He'd have some more regular army gear stashed away, which is now in your stash. Yes?"

Magda looked closely at the form, sighed, and disappeared into her caravan. A few seconds later, something came flying out of the open door. Hat caught it: a hat! Peaked cap, black brim, but black crown. She looked at the inside label: 23. "This'll do! Thank you Magda!" she cried, and ran back to her cell impromptu workshop. Set up the red dye, unpick the crown, and let it soak while starting on Snödis's cap symbol. Four eyes arranged on a V shape, hmm? She'd seen it scrawled on a few pieces of armour. Hat grabbed her yellow thread and the hat's brim, and set to work.


Ta-da! It's probably not fair to the others if I roll for hat-making while everyone else is only voting, so I made the best hat image I could!

Cloud Potato fucked around with this message at Nov 20, 2017 around 23:55

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery, Backflips
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 19
Ritual Glory: 1

The crown of the new Captain's hat was still soaking in the dye when the call to move out echoed through the prison. Hat quickly sewed it back onto the brim, covering her hands in the red liquid. As she reported to the caravan of wagons that was the Unexpectables' mobile base, Snödis immediately found her, cap in hand. Hat started to speak, "Don't put it on just yet, the dye is still wet, you'll get-" but Captain Snödis put a finger over the Milliner's lips.

"Oh yes, this is terrific. Great job! Now don't forget, the rank-and-file members of Neötype Squadron will be needing berets too, like this, but less captain-y. Five should do for a start. I knew I could count on you! See you in Fostis!"

And with a salute, the new Captain disappeared. Five berets? Oh no! Hat thought, before seeing one of the wagons with the door still ajar. Praying that no-one important was looking, she hopped in. The cart was half-full of still-unclaimed weapons and basic armour that she'd diverted from the enemy caravan. But there was space to sit and work. It'd use up all her red dye, but berets were quite simple things. So with her skillcore still complaining of overuse, Hat sat in the back of a wagon being pulled by her fellow hordemates, cutting circles and strips out of her remaining fabric stash.

Thankfully, the Horde wasn't marching at the same break-neck pace they had used getting to Nägel, so there was plenty of time to work. Hat was just putting the finishing touches to the stretchy brims as the caravan crested the hill and caught sight of their old stomping grounds. As the wagons came to a stop, Hat snuck out of hers and rejoined the group. Captain Snödis was easy to find in the crowd, and was delighted to see the berets ready for her squad. Hat watched from afar as she handed out the caps to her chosen soldiers: poor, brave Qwäg, already transformed, her expression unreadable; Gawp, putting his hat straight into his pack and grabbing another waterskin; Hob, his mouth moving oddly, like he was muttering a song to himself; Trinh, raring to explore the vault, a bounce in her every step; and Dack, standing to attention like he was hearing the Töan anthem on a distant podium. Fine choices all, and they all seemed pleased with their new hats, so Hat was happy about that.

When Grimper announced the missions that the Horde were about to undertake, Hat volunteered for exploring the surroundings, deciding to explore the town interior. She looked around, trying to discern any differences between her last visit and this one, any new instances of pro-Fröan graffiti, maybe something obvious like an FFA hideout with the conspicuous sign "Nail Salön". And if her patrol just so happened to take her past some fabric warehouses where the staff could be compelled to give her free samples, well, where's the harm in that?

Exploring the town for unusual activity: 1d100+19 58

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery, Backflips
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 20
Ritual Glory: 1

Hat sighed. It had been a thoroughly unproductive couple of hours; there were no obvious signs of resistance in the streets of Fostis, nor any coded signs for help that she could see. The only unusual thing she'd noticed was a shop proclaiming itself to be a "Bakerey", but Patsy was already thoroughly exploring the site, so Hat left him to it.

Upon meeting up with the others it was clear that Hat had misunderstood her orders. They had been interrogating the citizenry, not wasting time helping themselves to free frabric. When Splut announced his intentions to pretend to be a Fröan infiltrator looking to make contact with the rebels, Hat spoke up.

"That's a great idea! Maybe one of my patented disguise hats might help sell the deception a little? I've fought the rebels before, maybe I can recreate a symbol they were wearing, show that you're in with the in-crowd."

Assisting Splut with a disguise hat!: 1d100+20+10 108

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery, Backflips
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 21
Ritual Glory: 1

Hat was happy. The knowledge of the escape tunnels was sure to please Grimper, as would the identity of the nearest enemy Commander, Agenou. Once Splut had carefully removed his disguise (it might come in handy in the next town), they set off for the Vault to find the Warlord and tell him what they knew.

But it was not to be: the entire Horde was assembling in the grass a short distance from the mountain city. A Frö force - A Frö Commander! - had been spotted by the reconnaissance units. Easily three times the size of the average Töan soldier, knowing his name did little to calm the fear in Hat's heart. She listened closely to Grimper's battle analysis, trying to ignore the incessant drumbeat that was slowly, steadily advancing upon them all. The enemy was divided into three groups; dancers, drummers and archers. The archers would be at the rear of the formation, so geting to them might take some time. Verika made the case that only the healthiest Hordemates should attempt it, and Hat, having fully recovered from the attack by the Ugly Wendigo, fitted the bill.

And so, Hat waited for the order to attack, ready to lay waste to the enemy's ranged attackers. Hopefully some of their bows would still be usuable after the battle; the Horde could use more than one magic-enhanced bow and a portapult. And you could use a shield, Hat thought to herself, looking at her fellow soldiers with a little envy.

A roar went up and the Horde charged. Orders were shouted and battle joined. Hat followed Verika for a few meters then, seeing the first wave of arrows flying through the air, backflipped up into the sky, trying to knock aside with her spear as many arrows as she could. If nothing else, all this jumping would make her harder to hit, right?

Using Backflips to distract/get close to the archers: 1d100+21+10 96

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery (+15), Backflips (+10)
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 22
Ritual Glory: 1

Hat landed back on the ground. Getting ever closer to the Archers. She wasn't sure if she was knocking any arrows out of the sky like she planned, but at least none had hit her yet. She tensed up for another jump-

-and the immense shadow of Trinh passed overhead, soaring higher and further than Hat ever could, an entire tree held in her hands, catching the vast majority of the enemy arrows. Hat knew better than most how terrifying it was to face a Wendigo in battle. The sight of one- no, there were a few now- backing up her side filled her with a sense of confidence. She jumped again, following in Trinh's wake, just trying to keep up.

Another landing, and something felt wrong, deep in the chest. A belch of pink smoke escaped Hat's lips. Resonation? Now, of all times?! Hat thought, before shaking her head. No time. Later. Fight now.

One final jump and Hat was now alongside the Fröan Archers. As she moved to engage them in combat, she could see Snödis offer them a challenge. Using her hat as a target? She hadn't even paid for it yet! As one of the archers nocked an arrow, Hat cleared her mind of all the battlefield noise, raised her spear, and charged.

Attacking the archers!: 1d100+22+1 94

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery (+15), Backflips (+10)
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 23
Ritual Glory: 1

Hat stopped to pause for breath. The remaining archers were either running towards the booby-trapped town of Fostis or still occupied with other Hordemembers. She quickly looked around the battlefield, the dancers in disarray and the drumbeat faltering, but Grimper looking worse for wear against Agenou.

And then, that awful sound. Like a marble column exploding, or so it seemed. Grimper was down a hand. Hat could see dozens of the Horde rushing in to protect their warlord and destroy his opponent. Part of her wanted to join in, add her spear to the weapons about to pierce Agenou's doomed body. But that would involve losing sight of some of the String-Slayers. If just one got back to friendly forces, and told Sikatris of the Horde's location? Of Grimper's injury?? No. Hat would finish what she started. Every one of these enemies had to be stopped. Here. Now.

And so Hat leapt back up into the air, backflipping towards those Archers attempting to flee the battlefield. Escape wouldn't be that easy!

Backflipping and hunting down stray Archers!: 1d100r1+23+10+1 126

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery (+15), Backflips (+15)
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1), Tuned Shield, Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 24
Ritual Glory: 1 -> 0

The battle was over. The Unexpectables were triumphant once again. Hat stood in the middle of the battlefield a while, leaning on her bloodied spear, catching her breath. She saw Grimper blast Agenou's face off with the stump of his right arm, which was flippin' awesome. And she'd survived the conflict with only some superficial cuts, a marked improvement on the previous Wendigo fight. She watched the Horde scatter over the battlefield; the looting had begun, and there were some rich pickings to be found amongst the carnage they'd wrought just minutes earlier. Hat saw a shield lying under the body of one unfortunate Drummer. Shields were generally quite fragile things, in Hat's experience; one that had come through a battle still intact must have more durability than the other kinds.

Taking one Tuned Shield as my free loot.

As she bent down for the shield, Hat started to cough again. More pink smoke? She had been coughing up the tell-tale sign of Skillcore Resonation during the battle; had she managed to get both her cores to improve in the space of one day? What were the odds? There were some theories that intense stress was a catalyst for the internal improvements, and the OhGees know the battlefield is a very stressful place to be! Once the coughing fit had passed, Hat continued to scour the battlefield. Noostra was surely the Horde's next step. The uniforms of the String-Slayers looked a bit more durable than the regular (Fröan) issue armour she was currently wearing, and the grays might help her blend into a city background if things went wrong. Hat went through the remains of the defeated army, looking for a String-Slayer corpse the same size as her, with undamaged armour.

Looting for String-Slayer Armour: 1d100 51

Hat had just finished stripping a corpse when Vist approached, explaining her desire for a helmet made from Agenou's old one. She had gathered quite a squad - Gloff was preparing a fire to soften the metal, and Noggins and Gabber were already hard at work on a new hat block! Hat gladly joined the small taskforce Vist had set up, and appraised the raw material. The helmet was a thing of beauty, but far too large for the average Töan. In fact, there was quite a lot of metal here - if the former Commander was three times the size of regular people, could the metal stretch as far as making three new helmets for the Horde? Hat reached into her hat-making bag, and grabbed the hammer.

Assisting Vist et al. with helmet manufacture: 1d100+24+15 132

Taking a quick break while more of the metal was being heated, Hat stopped by the bustling hive of activity that was Magda's wagon post battle, and dropped a coin of Glory into the jar for the Luck's Fickle Gaze ritual. This was where Splut found her, requesting assistance on fixing the obvious scars his suit had taken.

"That's a fine suit, Splut," she said, "and I'd love to help, though I should point out things worn below the hairline aren't really my speciality, and I'm in the middle of something for Vist. But I promise, as soon as I'm done with those helmets, I'll find you and we'll see what we can do. Is that OK?"

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"



Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery (+15), Backflips (+15)
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), Leather Armour (+1) [pending loot roll clarification], Tuned Shield, Sikatris Scarf
Glory: 25 -> 27 (+2 payment from Vist)

It really was quite amazing what the Horde could achieve when they worked together. From sacking a town, to sacking a prison(-cum-hospital, maybe), to defeating an enemy Commander and their army, to the massive suit of armour that now stood in front of Hat. The helmet was a thing of beauty, and yet Hat still wasn't sure whose idea it had been to use a piece of Agenou's mustache as the plume. A shame the strange metal couldn't stretch to a few more helmets. Still, Hat was proud of the work she and the others had done.

She thanked Vist for the coins of glory and took her leave of the makeshift armourers, heading into the Horde's camp to seek out Splut, who'd asked for help with the repairs to his suit. Happily, it seemed the Bluffer had again been pulling her leg, and had done a fine job patching up the suit by himself. Hat complimented him on his needlecraft, and resumed wandering through the camp.

And so Hat found herself once again standing outside the medical tent. She didn't think her previous attempts at helping the medics had gone all that well, but with almost half of the Horde still nursing some kind of injury, it seemed they could still use the assistance. Hat wasn't sure trying to get the paitents to backflip was the best way to regain health, so she mucked in where she could, giving folks water and taking away ...other water.

Assisting the medics: 1d100+27 52 Ugh, might have done more harm than good...

EDIT: And when Grimper's Story Time rolled around, Hat tried asking about the Thumbscrew that was almost certainly their next objective. What did it look like, where would it usually be found, who tends to have access to them?

Cloud Potato fucked around with this message at Dec 15, 2017 around 00:38

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


;
Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery (+15), Backflips (+15)
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), String-Slayer Armour (+2), Tuned Shield; Sikatris Scarf, Mushbrëwm
Glory: 27-> 28

It had finally happened; Hat had faced a Nailing ceremony sober. The first Nail occured in a drunken blackout; the second in the aftermath of the Wendigo fight, under heavy medication. This nail, though, was different. It was to be inserted near the left shoulderblade, meaning that Hat was pushing a Nail into someone else, and another person would push the sharp piece of metal into her body. She waited for Grimper's signal, and pushed and screamed as the Nail pierced her skin. A burst of white-hot pain for a few seconds, slowly fading to a dull ache. Not as bad as she feared.

Then the second ritual started. Hat felt a pang of revulsion as the Horde's magics erased the personalities of twenty people in front of her eyes, turning them into little more than puppets. She was complicit in this. She had stood aside and meekly let it happen. Would the forces of Frö treat her any better, in the event of capture? Hat thought back to Nägel, and the prisoners/experiments that had almost killed her. Was this an appropriate retaliation?

Hat was still turning these thoughts over in her mind when Neebs approached, handing bottles of beer out to the Horde members. "Cheer up, Hat," said the Salestö. "The first one's free! If you want more, see Magda!" Hat thanked her for the kind gift and studied the label. "Around three-quarters of lucky early Mushbrëwm tase-testers rated the beer as 'Good' or higher, with one-third of those saying it was of NOTICEABLE BENEFIT TO THEIR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING!" Considering the current state of the Horde's healthcare facilities (Could anyone ever trust Doc again after Humbug's revelations? What was happening to the Horde's morality?), Hat decided to keep the bottle for later, when she could put the tonic's theraputic testimony to a tasty trial. As she was packing the beer deep into the bag of cloth supplies, she saw Splut approach in that incredibly dapper suit of his.

AJ_Impy posted:



"Hat, I've been made a Captain, with my squad to specialise in infiltration. I've two requests of you: Firstly, it is in part through your hard work and magnificent millinery, both in crafting quality headgear and on the front lines, that the idea for this squad looks reasonable at all. Would you do me the honour of joining it? Secondly, the hat of disguise you made when we were able to find out the existence of the escape tunnels was a masterpiece. I could think of no better apparel to mark membership in the new squad than an item that would aid in disavowing it when needed. What say you?"

Hat's eyes were drawn to Splut's hands as he talked. He was holding the Lifemask in one of them. The power to truly disguise yourself as an enemy civilian. And the squad would offer her more opportunities. A change in focus from the front lines of battle, but probably replacing it with desperate fights in forgotten city corners.

"Splut, I accept. I'd be more than happy to join your squad, it sounds like an excellent idea. As for uniform hats, I certainly can, though I fear that if we're all wearing the same thing it might increase the chances of someone figuring out our disguises. Having said that, if it's an order, Captain, just let me know and I'll get started as soon as I can."

And finally, it was time to lease Fostis. Hat thought their next objective was clear, the location of the Thumbscrew known to all Hordemembers. But as others laid out their arguments, Hat felt drawn to Öxnyard. Stealing Finding some currently underemployed beasts would make the Horde much more mobile (and avoid repeats of that horrible march to Nägel), hopefully letting them use speed to avoid enemy groups and commanders until the Unexpectables were ready for them.

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


;
Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery (+15), Backflips (+15)
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), String-Slayer Armour (+2), Tuned Shield; Sikatris Scarf, Mushbrëwm
Glory: 28 -> 29

Next stop Öxnyard. Hat quickly packed up her stuff and joined the march. It felt good to be leaving Fostis in the dust. The place had been thoroughly overturned by The Unexpectables, and the inhabitants were still under Grimper's spell. But the Horde couldn't focus on one town forever; there were more towns to conquer, Commanders to defeat, fortresses to infiltrate and siege and conquer; a nation to crush. Queen Reina had done nothing to provoke her demise; by poisoning her, the nation of Frö had merely hastened their own final fate.

Hat's Captain, Splut, ordered for his squad to take First Watch, and Hat followed without complaint. It meant a longer day, certainly, but it allowed for one long uninterrupted period of sleep, and no horrible early wake-up call (at least no more horrible than usual). While patrolling the temporary camp, Hat perfomed a few backflips, hoping a small improvement in height might catch any approaching dangers a few seconds sooner than usual.

Patrolling on first watch, with backflips (+1 snack bonus!): 1d100+29+15+1 138 I forgot Splut's order bonus! So an extra +10 for a 148 total.

Hat tried to keep a normal pace; since the Fröan forces were by now surely aware of their presence in the region at the very least, the Horde's strength should be conserved, ready for the next battle. This was also the reason she wanted to keep her exploring to only the path that the army was taking; too wide a swath of destruction would surely be noticed by the enemy forces. And when Grimper was asking for subjects to talk about on the long walk, Hat re-iterated her desire to hear more about the Thumbscrew, their target in Noostra.

As the Horde marched ever onwards towards their next target, Hat sought out and started marching alongside Marra, one of her fellow infiltration squad members. Remembering Splut's desire for all the squad to have hats, Hat struck up a conversation. "Hi Marra! I'm not sure, have we met before? My name's Hat, and Splut has asked- well, ordered me to make hats for all squad members. Did you have any thoughts on what style or shape or colour you'd like your hat to be?"

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


No time to do proper post yet (and I must state my distaste for first-come first-served looting) but Hat tries to grab a Lucky Pearl from First Watch.

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


;
Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery (+15), Backflips (+15)
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), String-Slayer Armour (+2), Tuned Shield, Lucky Pearl; Sikatris Scarf, Mushbrëwm, Wagnag Jerky
Glory: 29 -> 30

Yvonmukluk posted:

'Hmm...' Marra ponders. 'Something...inconspicuous.' recalling her travails while hunting for a scarf, she is struck by inspiration. 'A hood or a cowl, I think. Something I can use to conceal my face, but I could easily pass off as a scarf in a hurry. Perhaps a nice earthy tone...'

"Inconspicuous, cowl-esque, like a scarf, earthy colour... OK. Leave it with me, Marra, and I'll knock something up the next time we get some downtime. See you soon!"

The pace of the marching was hard, but not as difficult as the Nägel trip. Hat managed to keep up with the rest of the army without too many problems. Öxnyard was quite a distance away, so it was simply a matter of keeping your head down, your belly full of Patsy's bread, and putting one foot in front of the other. And then just keep doing that. One step at a time, one Unit at a time.

Hat looked at the Wagnag jerky with some trepidation. Wagnags weren't usually on the menu, at least not anywhere Hat had heard of. She wrapped the small piece of meat in some spare pattern paper and stuffed it in her sack next to the Mushbrëwm, saving it for another time. Hopefully it'd keep.

Thankfully, First Watch was mostly uneventful, the only spark of interest being the ruins they'd had the good fortune to stumble upon. It was while digging through what used to be a fireplace that Hat heard Gado's gasp in surprise at the buried box's contents. A Lucky Pearl! Hat saw Gado quickly grab one and stuff it into his pocket; the poor Töan was infected, and his time of reckoning was fast approaching. Anything that might help increase his odds of survival were to be grasped quickly. Of course, that left another pearl in the box. Hat quickly grabbed it for herself. Well, anything that might help increase her odds of survival might come in handy too...

More marching. There was a Marsh Basker; the Horde killed it. There was a newly-constructed town; the Horde ransacked it, killing who they could. They camped on a tidal bay; Second Watch managed to rasie the alarm in the nick of time, and casualties were minimised. Magda cursed the sky and started an impromptu mud-fight, and some sneaky Hordemember with good lucky aim knocked Hat's hat clean off her head! She tried to see who would be so mean, but the sheer volume of projectiles being tossed about made it impossible to tell. They stole took wheels and food from refugees, and killed those who dared to oppose them. Another abandoned town. A force of Fröan butterfly scouts were defeated, and some eggs captured.

And, finally, Öxnyard. Hat listened carefully to Snödis's plan and Splut's orders.

AJ_Impy posted:

Infiltrators! Your orders are as follows. Forge or obtain an Öxnyard Stablehand uniform. Investigate the documents here to learn the identity of the Noostran Stablemaster. Obtain the correct Öxnyard stationery. Infiltrate Noostra with the infected horse, disguise and forged documents. Any questions?"

Hat raised her hand. "Do we know who'll be doing the Noostra infiltration? If I'm grabbing the uniform, it'd be easier if I know what size we're after."

-----

Hat watched as Pythag strolled into the ranch and struck up conversations. While the ranchers were distracted, Hat made a grab for one of the uniforms hanging on a hook nearby. Praying it was a good size, or big enough to be easily altered, she took the bundle back to the Unexpecables' camp and started work.

Grabbing and adjusting stable-worker's uniform and hat: 1d100+30+15+10 82 As to what a stable-worker's uniform looks like, maybe this will help.

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


;
Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery (+15), Backflips (+15)
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), String-Slayer Armour (+2), Tuned Shield, Lucky Pearl; Sikatris Scarf, Mushbrëwm, Wagnag Jerky[?]
Glory: 30 -> 31

Hat reached down and grabbed a spare carröt, and offered it to the doomed horse, who accepted it happily enough. The poor thing seemed oblivious to the things fate had in store for it. Hat was feeling quite different. Another battle, another Commander! Was the Horde ready? Had anyone managed to patch themselves up after Agenou? This frenetic pace was going to be the death of some of her Hordemates. If she was unlucky, it might be the death of her.

Hat eyed the uniform hanging on a nearby hook. The plan would work, there was no doubt about that. Just get on the horse and ride. The uniform would get you to the city limits; the forged paperwork would get you in. Then say goodbye to the diseased horse, find a cheap pub and lie low until the screaming started. Almost certainly a war crime. Frö had unleashed Wendigos onto them, and you could argue that this was just returning the favour; but there were no civilians in Nägel, just prison staff and some captives, protected in their cells.

Hat shook her head. She was a killer, now, but every one of those kills had been a soldier, or something trying to kill her. She couldn't be the one leaving a poisoned horse in an unsuspecting city.

That left sabotage. Hat quickly looked around the ranch. A lot of Frömen were running into one building in particular, presumably the armoury, to gather their armour and weapons. Hat found a wooden torch smoldering away on the side of one of the buildings. She took it and threw it at the door to the armoury, hopefully trapping some soldiers inside and delaying their arrival on the battlefield. That done, she tried to regroup with the rest of the Horde.

Sabotaging A Whole Bunch More Guys
Starting a fire to block the armoury: 1d100+31+10 97 +10 if Flag bonus applies.

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


;
Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery (+15), Backflips (+15)
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), String-Slayer Armour (+2), Tuned Shield, Lucky Pearl; Sikatris Scarf, Mushbrëwm, Wagnag Jerky[?]
Glory: 31 -> 32

The fire caught quickly. The screams followed very soon afterwards. Hat stared at the flames billowing around the doorframe, then turned and ran back to the Horde. As she ran, doubts started to form in her mind. She didn't know who or what was inside that building, for certain. For all she knew, that was Öxnyard's creche she just burned down, condemning some Fröan children to perish in the flame. Was it so dissimilar to the infected horse plan she'd blanched at just moments before?

These dark thoughts were quickly abandoned at the sight of the battlefield. Many bodies lay on the ground, getting trampled by boar and horse and soldier alike. Hordemembers had fallen in battle here! No mercy to the enemy! There'd not been much time to practise shield-and-spear combat on the march to the ranch, but Hat was sure she'd figure it out soon enough. She looked for the nearest Fröan soldier, readied her weapon, and backflipped into the air.

Attacking A Whole Bunch More Guys with Backflips: 1d100+32+15+1 115

Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


;
Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery (+15), Backflips (+15)
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), String-Slayer Armour (+2), Tuned Shield, Lucky Pearl; Sikatris Scarf, Mushbrëwm, Wagnag Jerky[?]
Glory: 32 -> 33

The red mist had descended. All Hat had to do was backflip between enemy soldiers, avoiding their blows and sticking her trusty spear into any openings they provided. And for a while, it worked.

Then a wooden stake fell out of the sky and landed just to her left with a thhhump. Then another. Then another. Hat looked to her right and saw the enemy Commander twist and a barn suddenly burst into being all around the battle, trapping Töan and Fröan alike.

Random room requisition: 1d6 4

When the dust and mortar had settled, Hat found herself in a death-trap. Spikes lined the walls from floor to ceiling. Ahead of her, fourteen Fröan warriors, eight still sat atop their hörses. She looked around at the few Hordemembers in the same predicament. Her eyes caught Gabber's. She gave the Mimic a smile, then turned her attention to the enemy. Hat raised her spear to hörse-rider height, let out a scream of defiance, and started to run.

Attacking the Horsemen: 1d100+33+1 37

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Cloud Potato
Jan 8, 2011

"I'm... happy!"


;
Name: Hat
Skills: Millinery (+15), Backflips (+15)
HP: 3/3
Equipment: Spear (+1), String-Slayer Armour (+2), Tuned Shield, Lucky Pearl; Sikatris Scarf, Mushbrëwm, Wagnag Jerky[?]
Glory: 33 -> 34

The fighting was over, for now. The spiked room, so intimidating moments earlier, fell apart around the Hordemates. Hat looked around at her compatriots, it looked like no-one nearby had suffered any serious injuries. Least of all herself, thank goodness. She saw Gabber extend a friendly thumbs-up; Hat returned the gesture, and gave the Mimic a big smile as she followed him to the looting. Her spear had served her well, and so Hat started looking for possible improvements that could be made.

Using my free loot roll to ask Dog Kisser for a +2 Spear. Changing this to ask for a free +3 Knightly Spear!

Hat gave the list of available skillcores someone had scrawled onto a chalkboard a quick look; there was always the quiet hope that Haberdashery would one day appear, and give Hat a chance to really stretch her creative wings. Not this time, sadly, although one skillcore did jump out at her: Carpentry. Hat quickly looked around for Captain Noggins; it looked like she was in discussions with Grimper and the other captains. Maybe she simply hadn't seen it; maybe she'd already grabbed another one earlier. Hat reached out for the skillcore, wrapped it in some spare paper and put it in her hat-making supplies bag. Noggins had proven herself an excellent soldier time and time again, ever since that fight amongst the stick-ogres outside Fosis. This core would surely resonate almost immediately, making her creations better; making the Horde better. She resolved to give the Captain her gift as soon as possible.

Rolling for the Carpentry skillcore (to give to Noggins): 1d100 45

Speaking of captains... Hat thought to herself as Captain Splut gathered his squad for orders. The horde could certainly use some time to recuperate and tend to their wounds. They'd bested two enemy Commanders and their assorted forces in a little under a week, with little chance for respite along the way. But if Hat was healing, she wouldn't be able to make Marra the headpiece she had promised her on the march. Once the meeting was finished, Hat asked Splut for a quiet word.

"Hi. Are you sure you want me to help the healers? I've tried before, and it seems whenever I offer my services it always seems to go poorly. Also, if I do help them I won't have time to make the hats for the squad members you asked for a couple of days ago. Which task would you like me to focus on?"

Cloud Potato fucked around with this message at Feb 1, 2018 around 18:21

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