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Cannon_Fodder posted:Lowtax is our Jayvon. You've cracked the code!
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Aug 30, 2018 16:55
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So, thinking about Tir flagging Kenji as a person of interest, would it be possible for Octo to write some kind of workaround program so he can actually use the matrix without all his data being gobbled up?
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Sep 2, 2018 13:47
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Dr Subterfuge posted:So, thinking about Tir flagging Kenji as a person of interest, would it be possible for Octo to write some kind of workaround program so he can actually use the matrix without all his data being gobbled up? That's what a fake SIN is for. Them watching Kenji Nakamura is fine if he's doing all of his illegal communication on a secondary device as Hiro Protagonist instead.
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Sep 2, 2018 13:51
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An update of sorts. The website is up! I spent a lot of time wrangling with it to find out what I could and couldn't do with it. It was very frustrating until I accepted some arbitrary limitations. Right now it's pretty bare bones. I want to spruce up the place with art in a few months, but right now the first story is up. I'm thinking that I'll edit Kenji's story and the Christmas novelette. I'll either release them all at once and then update the story twice a week or release Kenji's story and start with the twice weekly updates starting from "A Very Shadowrun Christmas Special". I'm not sure yet. That said, it was pretty tedious to get everything up. So that's why I haven't been updating lately. I've been constantly reminded that I'm not the most technically minded person even for something as simple as slinging together a simple text website or doing basic HTML coding. So here it is. https://blakeisland.wordpress.com/ I opened the comments section on the home page and left it untouched. Feel free to mess up the place. Oh, and maybe invite some cool people to read now that the edited story is off the forums. No way am I leaving SA though. The voting and rough draft stays here. SA is where the sausage gets made. Once I have the website like I like it, I'll start promoting it more. But for now I'm going to split time between editing and making more updates. So it's going to be bare bones for a while longer until I can afford to commission some art from someone that Jagadaishio introduced me to a few months back. At the very least I want to have a cool banner at the top. The one thing that you may notice is missing is the patreon ads. I have to buy the business version of wordpress because they won't allow me to insert my own HTML code where I wanted it. At the moment I don't really want to shell out 25 bucks a month where I'm normally shelling out 4 to put up the patreon stuff on the side. Especially since wordpress wants me to do that all at once. No way am I shelling out 300 dollars all at once. So I decided that at the end of each book, I talk to the reader and rattle the can for donations. I figure that if I do this once a book it'll be unintrusive. If people want to contribute, they can contribute. If they don't, that's cool too, but hopefully they direct people to a good and cool story. I didn't mention anyone here by name beyond saying co-writers, though I did gush a little at the end of book one in the note to the reader. One of the things about Patreon is that they don't always mesh with your internet handles, so I don't always know who donated what or helped with what sometimes. I don't want to leave anyone out, but I am grateful. Also someone else donated to me on patreon and that made my day.  Thank you. If you want to get mentioned by internet handle or by name, let me know and I'll do that. Anyone who has voted can get mentioned. Though the comments section at the end of the book is also empty as well, so if a bare wall is more your style then by all means, the comments section is your canvas.I'd like to get an update for the current story out in the next day or two. It's all storyboarded and ready to go. So I haven't been ignoring you all. It was just emotionally exhausting to do the website creation grunt work because I'm not especially technically minded. Also since I didn't mention it and I'm confining myself to the third of each month, if you're feeling especially cool the next thing I'm going to save up for is banner artwork now that the website is paid for (Thanks Cour). As a writer, I know the value of art in getting people to stick around long enough to read a story. So if you donate, that goes directly towards buying art. You don't have to donate to be cool though, but if you do or already are donating through patreon, I appreciate it. https://www.patreon.com/icewrites So begins a pretty exciting time for me. Once I get the banner artwork up and the stories edited, I'm going to contact the Arcology Podcast and see if they're still interested in an interview about my work. So hopefully I can get more neat people to read my work and maybe even hop onto SA to read, post and vote. Lord knows that Lowtax needs the money for his bones. That's it. I'm going to prioritize the update next before I edit anything else. So hopefully it will be up in the next day or two. Let me know if anything is glaringly wrong with the website. I'm sure I missed something. I'm going to get a beer. It's been a long few days and I'm hoarse from growling at Wordpress. Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 06:55 on May 15, 2019 |
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Sep 7, 2018 08:06
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I'm so glad the website is up. I've been waiting to throw the link at all of my friends to get them to read it. I hope they like it just as much as I have
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Sep 7, 2018 12:33
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Tibbeh posted:I'm so glad the website is up. I've been waiting to throw the link at all of my friends to get them to read it. I hope they like it just as much as I have Same I'm going to be tossing this link around across more than one discord server
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Sep 7, 2018 12:44
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If I didn’t have a baby on the way I’d be a Patron. As is, I’ll promote your book to friends with money.
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Sep 7, 2018 12:49
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Tibbeh posted:I'm so glad the website is up. I've been waiting to throw the link at all of my friends to get them to read it. I hope they like it just as much as I have Same here.
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Sep 7, 2018 13:00
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Tibbeh posted:I'm so glad the website is up. I've been waiting to throw the link at all of my friends to get them to read it. I hope they like it just as much as I have 
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Sep 7, 2018 13:29
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Ice Phisherman posted:(Thanks Cour).  Ice Phisherman posted:It's been a long few days and I'm hoarse from growling at Wordpress. I do so love your sweet little nothings, especially if its uttered towards an unanswering monitor.   Donation Talk: Do you have a number in mind in terms of what you need to commission art?
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Sep 7, 2018 19:43
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Thanks for the kind words and direction of people my way. I really appreciate it. VanSandman posted:If I didn’t have a baby on the way I’d be a Patron. As is, I’ll promote your book to friends with money. Thank you, and congratulations on the kiddo on the way! CourValant posted:I do so love your sweet little nothings, especially if its uttered towards an unanswering monitor. I swore a lot at wordpress. I'm stubborn when I put my mind to something and I spent several hours coming at problems from multiple angles until the final word on what I wanted to accomplish seemed like it was simply, "Pay wordpress more money". I'm not ready to do that right now. I can work around those problems. What I desperately need is art. quote:Donation Talk: Do you have a number in mind in terms of what you need to commission art? The artist for the website has prices listed, but I had extra work beyond characters in mind for the banner. So while technically the art should be $50 if I were just getting character art done, I want more than simple characters. I want detailed work that will wow people when they first come to the website. I tried to be precise in what I asked of the artist and I wanted some background work too. I want something professional looking and I hope that the artist is up to what I want from him in terms of work on backgrounds. I emailed him just a few minutes ago so hopefully I should hear back from him in the next day or two as he lives in the UK so it's late there. I did get a super nice donor who dropped a substantial amount on me for artwork (thank you so much), but if that's not enough I'll post the amount I need to get the job finished. I'm not looking for more funds than the artwork requires at the moment. Any spillover for the rest of the month and maybe the next just becomes more art. This is the time where I start rapidly polishing the website to make it look professional. The banner is going to be extremely important. In fact I'd say that I would say that the banner is more important than editing my work and on par with having a story to tell at all. For those of you who are graciously spreading the word, those people are going to be more likely to take a look at my work as it is right now with no art to speak of. For people that come because maybe they click a link or look up Shadowrun and find my story by chance, I have two to three seconds to grab their attention, five seconds max. The banner is what draws attention and gets people to scroll down instead of giving the website a pass. I want two pieces of artwork to start, one for the banner (1440 x 600 pixels or roughly 2 by 5 inches) and one 6 inch by 9 inch novel size piece of artwork for the first book, but I absolutely need to stick the landing with my banner because it will be the first thing they'll see. The second piece of artwork is to impress people who are interested. It's for retention. The banner art is to get people who would otherwise give the website a pass a chance at all. If it piques their interest then they'll scroll down to the blurb (the description of my work) which is also extremely important and I'm going to tweak that a lot. Only then will they start reading. If the banner is not any good, it will likely be the last thing people will see before moving on from my work. I've never actually had to direct an artist before, but luckily I picked up some rudimentary skills from a podcast I listen to (Role Playing Public Radio) about how to manage artists over successive plays of one of their podcast topics called "Designer's Workshop" which has been an amazing resource on how to work with professionals, what to offer, what to expect and how to establish a good working relationship and reputation. On top of that, my work from my writing days taught me that you can have a terrible story and sell it if you have fantastic artwork. Now I'm not selling this story as I don't own Shadowrun, but I am taking it seriously as I'm getting serious about writing for a living again. Professionalism stands out and gets noticed. I'm going to be building myself up as a relative unknown again and this time I won't have the most bought genre in fiction (romance) where people actively seek it out to back me up. While there is a healthy and existing community of people who enjoy Shadowrun, it is a tiny fraction of the people who enjoy romance. I'm going to have to hustle to get noticed. Also, I was completely sold on this particular artist by Jag after he showed me this picture: https://68.media.tumblr.com/88d0263c167d0deb2afbb58fe966438d/tumblr_p4d4c6BQUq1s4mk7zo1_1280.jpg With a few minor tweaks, that's the picture I have in my head for Julie. I'd want to darken her skin tone, spend some time refining the line work on the clothing and redo the background, but the character is otherwise perfect and I like the art style. The artist specializes in Shadowrun style cyberpunk and that sort of artist who can do good work is an obscure treasure for me to find. Having a single art style is good too. Working with one artist and having a single art style helps tie work together. I'd rather have one single good artist with an identifiable art style than three great artists who don't talk to one another with clashing art styles. I could go on and on about art, but I won't. The short of it is that it's incredibly important, but the banner is the most important thing I need since I already have a story. If I only had one piece of art, it has to be the banner. This is me going on about the business side about creating art which I don't think I've ever done before. This is even though I'm not selling my work, but asking for donations which I thankfully got an all clear from the line editor at Catalyst, who currently has the rights to work on Shadowrun. I'm having to get creative though. I can't sell this particular work so I need to go with the donation model. It is a model that I've seen that works and I'm emulating the most successful of them and trying to surpass it in terms of quality. It's also with a company that permits people doing amateur work and permits people making some money off that, so that's super cool. Maybe this doesn't go anywhere. That's always possible and I'm prepared for that. But I get to practice my writing, the job that I felt like I was best at once again. When I eventually start creating my own intellectual property again I'll be polished enough to make something of quality that people will be more likely to buy. Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 23:12 on Sep 7, 2018 |
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Sep 7, 2018 22:59
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You could always talk to some of the great character artists we have here to draw Fuzzy & Co. Jenx is pretty awesome.
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Sep 8, 2018 01:13
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Ice Phisherman posted:If the banner is not any good, it will likely be the last thing people will see before moving on from my work. Makes perfect sense. Ice Phisherman posted:(Role Playing Public Radio) This has been the best entertainment recommendation anyone's ever given me; I'm still listening their library of Delta Green and Cthulhu games. Ice Phisherman posted:I could go on and on about art, but I won't. Weird, no? You're turning out to be a consumer and patron of the Arts, ala Kenny, Oli, and Olisha. Let us know how that Art fund goes, I'm sure all of us would like to pitch in and help, however way we can.
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Sep 8, 2018 03:52
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Now that you've got a presence off the forums, have you considered trying to get a spot on the top web fiction list? Some of the people I follow at the top spots (Webb, Wildbow and Pirateaba) have found it quite helpful in terms of getting traffic and donations.
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Sep 8, 2018 10:31
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pumpinglemma posted:Now that you've got a presence off the forums, have you considered trying to get a spot on the top web fiction list? Some of the people I follow at the top spots (Webb, Wildbow and Pirateaba) have found it quite helpful in terms of getting traffic and donations. I actually thought about that since I'm a big fan of Wildbow. I listen to the podcasts that come out pretty religiously even if some of them aren't of the best quality, but most are solid. I checked their notes at Topwebfiction. Working within other IP's is something they qualify as fanfiction and they don't accept it. When I start creating my own work I can do that, but not until then. I would love to get on the topwebfiction list. Thanks for the idea though. I do have other avenues though. I'd like to reach out to the Shadowcasters network which have a community of people interested in Shadowrun. This includes the Arcology Podcast who've already expressed interest in what I'm doing as well as Neo-Anarchist Podcast. I spoke to Opti, the guy who runs it, and he was polite and helpful. From there I figure I'd like to branch out and see if some of the other smaller podcasts would be interested in doing some shout outs. Doing some promotion on reddit through the r/shadowrun forums, the r/cyberpunk forums and the r/runnerhub forums. Who I'd really like to get on board for a shoutout would be the Neoscum podcast since they're involved with the One Shot podcast which is pretty big and can turn a lot of eyes towards my work if I'm lucky. Topwebfiction would be great to be on, but I'm prevented from doing so due to the nature of me working in someone else's IP. There are flourishing Shadowrun and cyberpunk communities out there and they're only going to expand as Cyberpunk 2077 threatens to come out. In fact I'm pretty sure that when it does come out that people are going to be hungry for more media because there hasn't been much new cyberpunk media in the last few years in terms of books. Harebrained Schemes released a bunch of neat Shadowrun games that were novel sized a few years ago, but they're on to Battletech now and haven't released anything from Shadowrun since late 2015. I figure that I just have to start networking to promote my work before then to ride that wave when it finally comes. I learned from my time as an author that work doesn't really sell itself. Not under normal circumstances. Romance does that to an extent since the market is so enormous (twice as big as the next most popular genre, which I think is mystery) and during the gold rush for erotica and romance pre amazon prime 2.0 (early to mid 2010's) buyers were scouring amazon and other e-book distribution sites for stories which definitely spoiled me for a while as I didn't learn how to promote my own work. I didn't have to. Work did indeed sell itself. Now it doesn't. It stumped me for a while afterwards when that turned out to no longer be the case. A lot of authors dropped out after that. I transferred to romance for a while afterwards and then dropped out later due to burnout. I figure that I need to get my name and my story out there. That means getting introductions and working the social angle. Wildbow took five years to get where he is right now as one of the most successful webfiction authors out there. I made about as much as him during amazon gold rush, but he has staying power that I and most other fledgling authors definitely did not have. I don't have the patience for five years. I do have a story that I believe in, in a market starved for the sort of media I offer that's only going to grow as CP 2077 comes out, if not explode. I already have the story. Multiple ones in fact and a lot of them. Once I make said work look professional I just need to get my name out there by working the social angle. To do that I need to build some street cred with other creators. This is something I've been considering for a while as I wondered whether to keep this project small or try and dive back into writing again full time. I chose the latter, so I'm thinking about more than just writing again for the first time in about...Three years...Maybe four? I checked out of writing for fun and it became drudgery before that though. The skills are rusty, but what stumped me was the previous lack of networking ability, lack of technical skills and artistic expertise. I'm trying to compensate for those now. Also I wasn't the best romance writer as I was always worried about getting outed as a dude which would have been the kiss of death as I was writing for women at the time. It made me pull back for fear of exposure. Anyway, I'm eagerly writing this morning and feeling positive. Emails have been fired off. The website is in about as good a shape as its going to get until I provide more content and get art. So now I get back to the actual task of writing stuff. Once I'm done with the next update I'm going to do some editing on book two. Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 12:21 on Sep 8, 2018 |
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Sep 8, 2018 11:46
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Let us know when you push and promote things to various boards, forums, etc - we can give you a bit of a push publicly wide with comments, up votes etc.
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Sep 8, 2018 13:56
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Hey buddy. How you doing?
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Sep 17, 2018 22:36
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Deadmeat5150 posted:Hey buddy. How you doing? Depressed lately. I'm dealing with a round of writer's block. I've been sitting inside for a bit due to the hurricane, but my depression stretches before that. It just didn't make it any easier. I'm stuck on the next scene and I really want to move past it as I've been storyboarding beyond it, but I'm just not having much fun writing it and gritting my teeth to write it is like pulling teeth. It's a slump. Slumps happen in writing.
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Sep 17, 2018 23:00
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Ice Phisherman posted:It's a slump. Slumps happen in writing.  Will a saucy puppet show cheer you up?
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Sep 17, 2018 23:04
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That's cool. I just remenbered you mentioning before you were out that way. Wanted you were still good. We still love ya.
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Sep 17, 2018 23:14
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Glad you're safe!
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Sep 18, 2018 00:34
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Ice Phisherman posted:Depressed lately. I'm dealing with a round of writer's block. I've been sitting inside for a bit due to the hurricane, but my depression stretches before that. It just didn't make it any easier. I'm stuck on the next scene and I really want to move past it as I've been storyboarding beyond it, but I'm just not having much fun writing it and gritting my teeth to write it is like pulling teeth. Interlude time? Maybe check in with Julie, since it's been a while, or some other perspective shift. I've always found when hit with writer's block that it's time to just force out fluff/trash/anything, and probably cut most of it later. Sorry, I know that doesn't actually help, I just thought that seeing a post every few days would be marginally less mental weight(though still annoying) than no posts.
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Sep 20, 2018 18:40
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I think a kitty needs to happen in the story somewhere. Kitty > notkitty  (although I admit, I like Fluffy  )
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Sep 21, 2018 15:39
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Kenji and Joyce – Saturday, July 27th, 2075 – Early afternoon – Seattle Metroplex, Cascade Behavioral Center A call to Min Yun had been made. It had been far briefer than Kenji had hoped for as he wanted to speak to her at length, but she’d been sleepy. It had been a wonder she’d answered at all at this time of day. After all, shadowrunners usually operated at night. Kenji had some new talent that he wanted along for a job as well as a small shopping list for Clever to pick up before the job went down. Saanvi couldn’t go in her paladin armor after all. He also texted Octo for a small favor and ordered something for himself from a friendly doctor he knew in the ACHE. Hopefully what he ordered would arrive before he went back to school. Saanvi’s silvery clothing became armor once more as they prepared to exit the coffee shop, though she didn’t cover her face just yet. She smiled awkwardly at him as people clapped, as the two had been here for some time and new patrons were able to cycle in. Then she retrieved her shield and sword. She fumbled a little with the unfamiliar gear before she was able to secure them on her person. With a slow motion she pulled her silvery hood over her head. The cloth rippled like water, hardened around her face and became a winged helmet and once again. Together they walked outside to a waiting black limousine. The door to the back was opened by a guard and Kenji paused to look at Saanvi. The now armored woman looked back at him. Though he could read nothing of her expression, one of her hands rested on the pommel of her sword. Without her palm leaving it, she lifted her hand and wiggled her gauntleted fingers at him in a small wave. Kenji waved back in just the same fashion though without a sword. Their time alone was over. He stood there for a few seconds and stared at her until he realized that she was waiting on him to get in. Feeling stupid, he entered the vehicle and sat down across from Joyce before a guard shut the door. Kenji thought about what happened in just the last few hours. He’d met someone who smashed his expectations of what a noble should be, received a vision from Dog, reached out to her in a way that seemed strange in retrospect and now he couldn’t stop thinking about her. There was something about the way she smiled. Not the small tugs up at the corner of her mouth, but the genuine smile had warmed his heart. Also that lip bite she’d done did stuff to him. “Hey Kenji!” exclaimed Joyce. “Huh, what?” asked Kenji, momentarily startled. “I asked if you’re okay,” said Joyce, his tone slightly worried, “Demoiselle Patel informed me that you had a minor episode with your spirit mentor, but that everything was well and that you had the situation under control. I’m merely inquiring after your well-being.” “Uh, yeah,” said Kenji, distractedly, “I got a vision from Dog.” Kenji realized his mistake when Joyce sat up straight, eyes laser focused on Kenji. It seemed that Saanvi hadn’t told him. “You received a vision from your spirit mentor?” he asked, “Demoiselle Patel didn’t mention that.” Belatedly, he realized that he might have gotten her in trouble and mentally kicked himself. He’d been distracted and made mistakes. That was bad since he knew that people were listening in. He quickly ran through what would get Saanvi out of trouble the fastest and that was to own up to something personal and embarrassing so people would be less likely to grill her. “I think Dog has a good feeling about Saanvi. It was personal,” explained Kenji. “Oh!” exclaimed Joyce, “That’s a good sign. Spirit mentors rarely communicate outside of dreams or purposefully trying to attract their attention. Apologies, I normally don’t mean to pry into something so personal, it’s just exciting. So I trust your meeting went well?” “I like her and Dog likes her,” said Kenji, simply, “That’s enough for me. I’ve decided to make time and introduce her to my friends. If they like her then courting could be in our future.” Kenji was keenly aware that she was listening in and his cheeks burned in a way that was plain to see despite his even tone. “That’s wonderful,” replied Joyce, his tone delighted, “I’m glad you two get along so well.” The limo began to roll forward and to Kenji’s relief, Joyce ended his line of questioning. Kenji had fallen out of his half-controlled state near the end of coffee with Saanvi, but he wondered what Joyce was thinking about behind the pleased smile he wore. He didn’t have long to think though. Just a few minutes later they arrived at their destination, but the doors didn’t open as he saw others get out. “Something wrong?” asked Kenji. “No,” said Joyce, “Krupa and Julie are being brought some clothing. Somehow I don’t imagine that they want to meet us in medical gowns, do you?” “So you’re telling me to get comfortable,” said Kenji. “If you want to go outside and stretch, then feel free,” said Joyce, “It may take some time for them to prepare.” Kenji decided that he’d do just that. He exited the limo and found himself in a secluded parking spot near a small park with a white two story building just beyond it. It was actually quiet here, which felt strange as he was used to the background noise of vehicles of city life: The hustle and bustle of people, advertisements and emergency sirens. Then he realized the reason. This place was fenced off with heavy amounts of tree cover and a thick, stone fence to reduce sound. In fact it looked ritzy enough to have white noise generators near the fence, but constantly running. The park was a green space with winding paths, benches, gardens and even a white gazebo. He ambled a short way down a path, picked a bench and relaxed in the strange quiet of the gardens. “So this is where the other half sends their crazy people to get better?” he asked himself. He felt bad because that half now contained Julie and Krupa. Though he knew his status had changed, he still didn’t feel like he was a part of this world. His home for better or worse was the ACHE. People who couldn’t deal with their problems in the ACHE often ended up dealt with. The lucky ones would be able to grit their teeth or have enough nuyen to self-medicate. The unlucky ones couldn’t cope or lost themselves to their chosen drug. His moms was in a place like this, though it was far more run down. One might think that there were a lot of these people who were strewn throughout the ACHE would beg, borrow and steal in order to get their fix if they weren’t completely broken. There were, but the faces would change. Those who’d completely broken down would choke to death in the smoke from the gigantic trash fire on garbage day. Sometimes people would even be pushed into the smoke to asphyxiate or even into the fire to die. Garbage day wasn’t just for trash, but for unwanted people. It was a brutal and callous way of disposing of what was no longer wanted or needed. There were always new faces because the ACHE wasn’t a place where many escaped, but it was where the poorest were sent. Clever’s block was an exception to this, but only because he didn’t tolerate heavy users on his turf. Well, mostly. Moms had been an exception. He remembered the first moments of his life where he woke up in pain among the fire and wondered about the unlucky ones who didn’t make it out. The thought of others not making it out and either choking to death on smoke or worse, burning alive made him sad which surprised him, because he’d never been sad about it before. He violently pushed away that thought and realized he’d been standing next to a park bench. He’d just been staring at it and he didn’t know how long. “I’m getting soft,” he muttered, “Too much soft living.” He sat down heavily on the bench and did his best not to think about anything. Kenji, Julie, Joyce, Krupa, Saanvi and Chip – Saturday, July 27th, 2075 - Early afternoon – Seattle Metroplex, Cascade Behavioral Center Kenji and Joyce walked together, flanked by paladins and guards in black suits. Two of the black suited guards held bags with interesting smells wafting out of them. Check-in for visiting hours took only a minute and soon they were buzzed in. They traversed through a white hall past several rooms, several orderlies, a nurse’s station and a number of patients in blue and white hospital gowns. Then the guards in front stopped in front of double doors and opened the doors in such a timely fashion that neither Joyce nor Kenji stopped. Though Kenji briefly did. What he saw wasn’t a lunchroom or even what looked like the inside of a building. Instead it appeared that he’d stepped onto an enormous outside terrace with marble white floors and railings, white couches with small black pillows and a white table which sat upon curled, delicate table legs along with matching white chairs. Beyond the railing was the skyline of a city, but it wasn’t one he was familiar with. The architecture looked beautiful and alien. Enormous, rounded glass structures looked more like they’d been grown than built. At ground level there were beautiful promenades with colorful, floating lights, gently rounded stone bridges, trees that not only lined the paths, but there were also some so tall that they rivaled the height of those beautiful skyscrapers. Below the bridges and streets was a river and a sleek looking monorail ran on its track and it turned on its track before Kenji saw where that track led. Both of his eyebrows rose as he saw the track lead into the water and the monorail slid below its surface with barely a ripple. It was so startling that Kenji didn’t notice who else was there until he was being hugged. It wasn’t Julie like he expected, but Krupa. His heart soared and his face broke into a smile as he hugged his sister. Then he froze as she continued to hug him. He realized Krupa was not his sister and that he barely knew her. It was a bizarre feeling. “Hey Kenji!” exclaimed Krupa, unaware of his feelings, “Thanks for coming.” “Uh…Sure,” said Kenji, distractedly. He quickly regained his composure as she looked up at him, but again that surge of affection came unbidden and he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. It felt good. It seemed that Joyce had already been hugged and talked to while he’d been distracted. He didn’t have long to think, because now Julie hugged him. It was softer than Krupa’s excited hug. Her affection wasn’t confusing, which he appreciated deeply, but the feeling was familiar to Krupa’s. He realized that Dog was happy. Again he felt Dog’s influence and threaten to overtake him, but he pushed it back with an effort of will. “Are you okay?” whispered Julie. “Check for spells on me,” whispered Kenji. Julie’s eyes widened a bit and her eyes slid out of focus. Kenji thought about Krupa, who certainly wasn’t his sister as Julie shook her head. The feeling remained. “Thanks,” said Kenji, his tone normal, “I guess Dog is messing with me somehow.” “Is something the matter?” asked Joyce. Julie quickly slid out of her embrace with Kenji and took a step back. It was so abrupt that it surprised him. Reluctantly, Kenji turned towards Joyce. He really didn’t want to answer any more questions. “I think I’m having some echoes from the event I told you about earlier,” admitted Kenji, “I feel off balance.” “Then perhaps we should sit down,” said Joyce. He motioned to the table. Chip sat there in a chair that was a little too high for him. The spirit that looked like a young, ork boy kicked his legs impatiently without his feet touching the ground. “Hey Kenji,” said Chip, “Sup?” “Nothing much,” said Kenji. Chip offered a high five and Kenji raised his hand to slap hands. Julie’s spirit ally tried to pull his hand away to be cheeky, but Kenji was too fast for him and he high fived the spirit. “Too slow,” teased Kenji, “You’ll need new tricks to fool me like that again.” Krupa and Julie giggled. Kenji was about to sit down when he saw each of the two paladins pull out chairs for Joyce and Krupa. For her part, Krupa beamed up at Saanvi, whose faced was hidden behind her winged helmet. That’s when Kenji understood. His vision from Dog had briefly given him a look through the perspective of Saanvi at a horrible moment. It hadn’t been perfect, but the feelings lingered. The love she felt for Krupa was identical to the love her felt for her. It was deeply confusing. Undeterred, he fell back into the manners that the situation demanded of him. He slipped behind Julie and pulled out a chair for her before she could do it herself. Julie turned around, smiled bashfully and sat down as he pushed her chair in. “Thank you. You didn’t have to,” she said, sweetly. “Aww,” cooed Krupa, “You’re so polite, Kenji.” Kenji felt joy at Krupa’s praise, which came unbidden. It was difficult to suppress because it felt so good. Joyce said nothing. Instead he waved the guards with the bags of food over, who began to stock the table. When Kenji went back to his seat, Chip had pulled it out for him. The spirit smiled up at him. “You’re just going to pull it away as I try to sit down, aren’t you?” asked Kenji. Chip’s eyes flicked to Julie, who frowned disapprovingly. “I don’t know,” replied Chip, innocently. “Be nice. We have company,” warned Julie. Chip sighed heavily, vanished from where he stood and reappeared back in his seat in the blink of an eye. “Okay,” groused Chip, “I’ll be good.” “Nah, it’s fine,” said Kenji, “That’s what I get for teaching him that one.” Kenji seated himself as lunch was carefully put on the table. “I think he’s cute,” said Krupa. “I am!” exclaimed Chip. “And quite the distinction,” complimented Joyce, “It’s surprising that you were able to summon him at such a young age. Krupa has told me that he’s very personable for a spirit.” “Uh…Thanks,” said Julie, awkwardly. Kenji noticed Julie’s discomfort and changed the subject. “So what’s with the city?” asked Kenji. “Oh!” exclaimed Krupa in delight, “This is Cara’Sir. That’s Portland in your tongue. This is the city as viewed from my parent’s house.” Kenji did not look at Saanvi, who he imagined did not appreciate coming back here at all, even if it wasn’t real. He didn’t envy her. Krupa stood up and walked towards the edge of the railing. “This room is programmed to give backgrounds that are familiar to those using it. Mr. Brand tells me that familiar surroundings can be comforting and help the healing process,” explained Krupa, “We’re basically surrounded by a big trideo tank.” She reached out tentatively and pressed her hand against a wall just before the railing. “The floors, ceiling and background are just pictures in a trideo tank. Only the tables and furniture are real,” continued Krupa, who pointed out to the skyline, “My mom and dad’s house has a great view. There’s Royal Hill where the old government used to be and that’s the Telestrian Industries Corporation arcology. They’re the biggest corporation in Tir. The smaller buildings next to it are in the corporate district: The big ones are Ares Marcotechnology and Mitsuhuma Computer Technologies. The ones that are smaller than them are Andalusian Light Industries, New Dawn Corporation and Williamette Compustat Corporation. All of them in a neat row.” Krupa looked back to Joyce who nodded and she smiled before turning around. “Oh, there’s Tir stadium. That’s where we hold the rite of progression. I’m supposed to go there in a few years to earn my nobility. It’s a big deal and everyone who wants a noble title goes there every seven years. In the meantime they also hold a bunch of sports events there. Tir is big into hurling.” “Hurling?” asked Kenji, with as straight a face as he could muster. “It’s like lacrosse or field hockey,” explained Joyce, “Except the sticks are shaped more like axes, but with a wooden head. A ball is smacked about with the stick called a…What was it, Lord Gilbrand?” “A sliotar, my duke,” said paladin Gilbrand, deferentially. “Yes, thank you. Hurling is one of the most ancient sports on the planet. It’s the national sport of Tir, though it often gets bloody due to how fast it is and how little padding everyone wears,” said Joyce, his voice ever so slightly disapproving, “It’s rare that the players wear anything more than a helmet and sometimes not even that. If you’re interested, Gilbrand could probably go on for hours about the subject. As I understand he played extensively in his youth.” Joyce looked to Gildbrand and the helmeted paladin spoke once again. “Yes,” said Gilbrand, “Never professionally, but the Peace Force had a few unofficial leagues in the military for the nobility. It is considered a sign of bravery to wear no padding or helmets at all. One must be brave to jump and grab a heavy, fast moving ball moving while others are swinging what are basically wooden axes to try and intercept it too.” “That sounds dangerous,” remarked Julie. The paladin’s gaze slowly turned to Julie and he lifted his chin in a way that drew attention to the scar on his face. “Yes,” he agreed, “Very.” Julie quickly turned her gaze away from the armored man as Saanvi, the armored woman, pulled Krupa’s seat out once more as she sat down. Lunch was served, but Kenji had no idea what he was looking at. “So what is all of this?” asked Kenji. “Right, you said you’ve never had Indian food,” said Krupa, “Did you bring those little moon cakes?” “Moon cakes?” asked Julie and Joyce at the same time. Kenji groaned and shook his head. “They’re little chocolate ice cream treats. And sorry, I left them in my cabin,” he said. “That’s okay,” said Krupa, “Next time then. We have kulfi anyway.” “I like kulfi,” said Chip. “You like everything,” teased Julie. Chip shrugged and grinned. “Yeah, but I reeeeeally like kulfi,” he explained, “Julie, Krupa and I eat it every day.” “Every day you say?” asked Joyce, pointedly. Krupa looked guilty and Julie shot Chip a look. Kenji knew that look. It meant that Julie and Chip were conversing through their emotional link. Chip looked apologetic. “It’s Indian food. It’s a sort of thick, creamy ice cream on a stick,” explained Krupa, quickly, “It’s like an ice cream Popsicle. If we have room at the end perhaps we might have some.” Krupa looked to Joyce, who sighed and nodded. “You are recovering,” he admitted, “And I have a hard time saying no to you. Whatever it takes for you to get better is fine by me.” Krupa leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, which made his pale cheeks turn pink. “Okay, Indian food,” said Krupa, “I’ve been eating with Julie and Chip a lot lately, so they both know what some of the food is.” “Yeah?” asked Kenji. “Yeah,” said Julie, “As it turns out, we have some stuff in common.” Krupa beamed at Julie and began pointing out dishes. “Okay, appetizers first,” she said, “That fried triangular pastry is a samosa. It’s got spiced mashed potatoes and peas inside. The green sauce next to it is coriander chutney.” “I’ve been eating that for a week and I still don’t know what to think of it,” said Julie. “I’ve been eating it for three years and I can safely say that I don’t know what to make of the chutney either,” sighed Joyce. Chip brought the plate with a samosa closer to him, but to Kenji’s shock, he pushed away the cup of green sauce. Kenji dipped a finger in his own and tasted it. It was spicy, minty, slightly acidic and the taste otherwise defied explanation. “It’s not bad,” said Kenji, politely, “What is this?” “Thank you, Kenji,” said Krupa, dramatically, “At least someone appreciates the chutney. As for what it’s made with, I think it’s coriander, mint, peanuts, cumin…Umm…Chilies, lemon and some other stuff too. I’m not sure about the rest.” Chip happily munched on his samosa as did everyone else. It was a big hit; crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside, spiced without being spicy. Kenji dipped his samosa in the chutney to see if it complimented the taste. If it somehow did, he had no idea. The taste of it defied explanation by his tongue. Krupa seemed to love it though and so he used a small amount to be polite. She swallowed and pointed to the next dish. “That’s papdi chaat,” said Krupa, “Papdi is the cracker that it’s on and chaat is just a kind of snack. There are all sorts of kinds of chaat, but this one has diced potatoes, chickpeas, yogurt and some spices.” “Sounds fancy,” said Kenji. Krupa waved one hand while she picked up the chaat. “Nope, it’s basically street vendor food,” said Krupa, “You can buy all sorts of snacks on the roadside in India.” Kenji found this one to be creamy and spicy. He liked the samosas more, but Julie seemed to be enjoying herself. Chip was demolishing his food, but at least he had some table manners. He even used a napkin. “Next are a bunch of related dishes,” said Krupa, “That’s butter chicken. I mean it’s soy, but it tastes like chicken. It’s in a creamy tomato sauce. It’s pretty spicy, but it can be sweet if you want. I think Joyce got the sweet one.” Kenji turned to Joyce and saw the plastered on smile that told of a young man suffering through something he hated for a young woman. He tried not to smile as Krupa continued. “The cheese cubes with the veggies are called tandoori paneer,” said Krupa, “Paneer is just the cheese cubes. They’re like kebabs, but with cheese instead of meat, and they have Indian spices. So they’re hot. And if you take the butter chicken out, leave the creamy tomato sauce and put the cheese in, you get paneer tikka. It’s all spicy, but if you need a break from spicy…” Large glasses were pushed forward and Krupa made a happy noise in her throat. Julie smiled too. “This is a mango lassi,” explained Krupa, “They’re like a mango smoothie, but creamier because of the yogurt mixed into the milk.” “I love these,” said Julie, happily, “I mean they’re not a horchata, but they’re close.” “Okay, yeah, horchata is pretty good, but I like mango lassi better,” said Krupa. Food all passed out, everyone began to eat in earnest. Kenji tried a little bit of everything and enjoyed most of it as he liked spicy food. Julie ate the tandoori paneer, the spicy cheese and vegetables kebabs and sipped her mango lassi. Krupa ate slowly, but she rarely stopped for long save to breathe or make small talk. So while it appeared that she took ladylike bites, she ate almost as much as Chip. The little spirit ate everything put before him but the chutney. Joyce took small bites from his sweet and not at all spicy butter chicken and looked like someone eating only to be polite. While this went on, Kenji decided to text Saanvi. The distraction allowed him the moment of privacy to check on her. After all, she’d come back to a replica of her parent’s house after having fled. He couldn’t see her face or read her body language through her armor. “Everything okay?” he texted. It was vague enough that he hoped it could be explained away. Saanvi didn’t look at him, but he received a text back. “Yeah,” she responded. He caught the slight shake of her head though and suddenly felt awful. Here he was enjoying a meal while she was surrounded by bad memories. “Hey Julie, you eat here with Krupa, right?” he asked, “Do you have a program?” Julie looked up as she nibbled at her kebab, swallowed and cleared her throat. “Yeah, but it’s not so grand,” she said, “No big deal.” “Well now you have me curious,” said Kenji. Julie looked to Krupa who shrugged. “You’re recovering too,” Krupa said, “Go for it.” Julie pulled out her commlink, the Transys Avalon that Kenji had insisted she take last summer. She tapped at it and the room suddenly shifted to black. Soon after the room resolved into her apartment in Touristville, though the furniture was different. Julie’s actual apartment was filled with comfortable second hand furniture. The delicate tables and chairs and stark white furniture looked out of place. So it was that two elves from Tir continued to eat lunch in a room that looked like Julie’s apartment in the Touristville part of the ork underground “Now this looks familiar,” said Kenji, happily, “How did you get this?” There was a pause and Julie cleared her throat. “Marco sent it over,” said Julie, guiltily, “He’s taking over weekend shifts at the doctor’s office since I’m…Uh…Here.” Kenji winced. He tried to do a good turn by Saanvi and ended up making Julie feel bad. “Sorry,” said Kenji, sadly, “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.” Julie placed a hand on his forearm and smiled at him. “It’s fine,” she said, quietly, “It’s home. It makes me happy. Thank you for caring.” Her touch lingered though and slowly her hand slowly crept up his forearm before she finally pulled away. This made Kenji feel a bit awkward and a lot guilty, because that wasn’t why he asked at all. “No problem,” he said, quietly. He made a point not to look at Saanvi, but Joyce arched an eyebrow as he looked between Kenji and Julie. However, if he had any thoughts, he didn’t share them. Lunch was wrapped up and out came the kulfi. Just as advertised, they were like ice cream on a Popsicle stick, though apparently they came in some flavors that Kenji wasn’t familiar with. He bit into one and frowned at it. Not because it wasn’t tasty, but because it tasted like cream with a subtle floral taste. “What is this?” asked Kenji. Krupa was in the midst of drizzling strawberry sauce on hers and Julie’s cream flavored kulfi. Julie’s eyes were wide and her hands held her face as she stared at the frozen treat. Joyce picked up a light green kulfi with bits of pistachio sticking out of it and Chip ate an orange colored one. “Oh, is it kind of perfumey?” asked Krupa. “I normally don’t drink the stuff, but yeah,” teased Kenji. Everyone laughed. Kenji loved to make his sister laugh. Then he shoved that thought down while he did his best to smile. “Oh, that’s rose,” she said, “It’s kind of mellow tasting, but good. I can make you a strawberry one later.” “I’d like that,” said Kenji, warmly, “What flavors are on the menu though?” “Uhhh…” thought Krupa, “Well, we’ve got cream, cream with strawberry sauce, pistachio, mango, rose, cardamom and saffron. Also we’ve got a sort of Neapolitan style kulfi with cream, mango and rose if you want to sample.” “I’ll try the mango next time,” said Kenji. “Good choice,” complimented Krupa. Sudden warmth bubbled up in Kenji and he realized then that it barely took any hint of praise to make him happy. It annoyed him, but since these were Saanvi’s feelings, made him suddenly sad as well. It took so little to make her happy because he was still experiencing echoes of her point of view. He knew how that went. If it was anything like what he’d gone through while growing up, it was because she’d gotten so little praise in her life. “I can appreciate the pistachio,” said Joyce, his tone reserved, “The bits inside have a pleasant crunch.” Chip dug into his without saying anything. He was too happy to speak. Everyone but Joyce had a second kulfi and that was when Krupa spoke up. “So Kenji?” she asked. “How was your date with Saanvi?” she asked. Kenji felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. “Nobility does not date,” corrected Joyce, as if from far away. Kenji looked to Julie, who nibbled on her second strawberry Kulfi. If she felt anything it didn’t show on her face. On a hunch he turned to Chip who Julie shared an emotional connection with. He looked miserable and that made Kenji feel miserable. Suddenly, Chip’s eyes widened and he made eye contact with Kenji. Then he disappeared and his kulfi dropped to his plate. “Please excuse me,” said Julie, quietly. “Julie?” asked Kenji, “Julie, I…” “It’s okay, really,” she interrupted, “It’s fine. I’ll be back in a bit.” Dog whimpered inside of him at his packmate’s pain as she walked out of the facsimile of her apartment. Dog’s feelings were distinct from Kenji’s own and powerful on its own, but amplified by his own guilt and shame it doubled his hurt. He wanted to go to her, but the feelings were so overwhelming that it took everything he had to keep from flying apart. Later he would realize that Julian had been right. He was in no shape to be out in the world unsupervised with a second set of emotions amplifying his own. Each high was twice as high, each low was twice as low and as he remembered his first feeling of protectiveness with Fuzzy and Sasha when they had been threatened, each feeling of protectiveness was twice as violent. His emotions twinned with Dogs and he desperately tried to think his way out, to ask himself questions to pull the irrational feelings apart. Unable to keep quiet, he voiced it out loud. “Why did that happen?” asked Kenji, through gritted teeth. He was used to the adrenaline rush of combat, but this was too much. He shivered wildly in his seat as he gripped the delicate chair. The end of the metal chair where he gripped it bent upwards. “I’m…I’m not sure,” said Krupa, shocked, “She…” While Krupa muttered to herself, Joyce stood up. In a split second he strode around the table to Kenji’s side and leaned over him, his long hair a splash of red on the otherwise pure white table. “Kenji, keep asking questions,” snapped Joyce, “Right now.” Kenji hurt so much. He wanted to go to Julie and be near her, but he couldn’t move. His teeth began to chatter. “I don’t know what to ask,” whimpered Kenji, “What do I…” Joyce seized Kenji by the chin and stared into his eyes. “Repeat after me,” said Joyce, his voice full of authority, “Why do I feel this way?” Paladin Gilbrand and the rest of the security detail moved in closer, but Joyce waived them away without looking at them. They stood down, but remained wary. “Why…” muttered Kenji. There was only unthinking shame and heartbreak. It threatened to overwhelm him. He was brought back to reality as Joyce shook him by his grip on Kenji’s chin. “Repeat it,” ordered Joyce, “Why do I feel this way?” Kenji’s breath was labored, he shook violently and his teeth chattered. “Wh-why do I feel this way?” sobbed Kenji. This got his mind working. The unthinking emotions that threatened to overwhelm him began to make sense. They were no less intense, but if he understood why he felt the way he felt, Dog’s influence should wane. At least that was “I think I hurt Julie,” he said with a sniff. “Okay,” said Joyce, encouragingly, “Why do you think that?” “Because she likes me,” he said, without skipping a beat. “What?” asked Krupa, “No, that doesn’t make sense.” Kenji and Joyce looked to Krupa. “Why doesn’t that make sense?” asked Kenji, as he finally began to gain control. Krupa furrowed her brow and ran a hand through her dark hair. “She was the one who suggested it,” said Krupa. This tipped Kenji over from in pain at a perceived betrayal into confusion. This was a marked improvement. Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 02:40 on Dec 10, 2018 |
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Sep 22, 2018 14:59
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Kenji, Joyce, Krupa and Saanvi– Afternoon – Seattle Metroplex, Cascade Behavioral Center The next two hours were a blur. As it turned out, Julie and Krupa were getting along famously. They both went to the same school, were the same age and both wanted to be healers. Krupa admired Julie’s skill with magic and her intelligence. Julie admired Krupa’s kindness and warmth. He did too even though those weren’t his feelings, but he was too emotionally drained to suppress them. “I mess up everything,” said Krupa, glumly. They’d left the trideo room and were outside in the gazebo. They sat on the small bench that circled its inner edges. “No you don’t,” said Joyce, “You didn’t know.” “I should have,” she complained. “Not your fault,” said Kenji, quietly, “Is Julie okay?” “Yeah, still with Mr. Brand,” sighed Krupa, “Emergency session. He’s pretty good. Julian brought him in special for us as a favor. He’ll help her. I’ll probably be seeing him once she’s done.” Everyone sighed. Everyone felt horrible. Everyone save for the bodyguards at least. There was one that Kenji wanted to check in with, but didn’t know what to say to her. This uncertainty added to his misery. On top of that there was pain on his hands where he’d scraped himself. He’d bent the end of the metal armrest of the chair and it had not been gentle on his hands. They’d been stinging for some time, but only now did he turn them over and look at his raw, red hands. “Oh no, let me take care of that,” said Krupa, anxiously, “Joyce can you help me?” “Certainly,” said Joyce. Kenji wanted to pull away. He didn’t feel like he deserved to be healed, but Krupa and Joyce prepared to heal him and he was too exhausted to say no. Krupa pulled a thick necklace from her purse made of hemp and polished black stones with intricate magical formulas upon the stones. Kenji recognized it as a power focus from his classes with Mr. Peters. It was powerful and expensive. Joyce had a matching one just like it, though it had fewer stones. The formula upon each stone briefly glowed as they each touched it. The scraped flesh healed before his eyes as they worked together. His hands felt good as new. “There,” said Krupa, “Feel better?” Kenji shrugged as they each removed their necklaces. “My hands do,” he said, dully. “Aww,” said Krupa, “Sorry for making a mess.” Kenji shrugged again and stared at his feet. “No one’s fault,” he said, quietly. Krupa hugged him and Kenji’s mood buoyed significantly. Then he remembered how artificial his love was for her and felt guilty. He felt like a thief, like he’d stolen Saanvi’s love for her sister. It struck him as odd because he’d never felt bad about stealing before. He hoped this feeling went away on its own because it felt too good. Then the hug ended and she sat back next to Joyce. “Thanks for getting me through this, Joyce,” said Kenji. Joyce shook his head and waved his hand as if to dispel the sentiment. “It’s something that we all go through,” said Joyce, “I did and Krupa did. Doubtless that Olisha and Julian went through it too.” Kenji winced at Olisha’s name. He just knew that there would be a reckoning with her. After all, he was hanging out with people she actively hated and had been avoiding her. This wouldn’t last. “Can we not talk about her?” asked Krupa, tiredly. “Apologies,” said Joyce, “Kenji, this is important. It is implied, but never said. So I will say it outright. We have all been where you are. We are not somehow special. We are not chosen ones. Anyone can gain the notice of a spirit mentor if they act in the right way. It barely requires a talent for magic. All it takes is the right attitude.” Krupa’s wide mouth suddenly became thin with worry as she pressed them together. “We’re extremists,” said Krupa. There were a few beats of silence as Kenji tried and failed to understand. “What?” asked Kenji. Kenji looked up at the two elves who looked decidedly uncomfortable. “I am dedicated to peace, non-violence and harmony. Dove appreciates those who negotiate for what they desire instead of taking what they wish,” he said, quietly, “Krupa and I had been betrothed since she came into her magic, but there was a time where I had none. When I came into my magic at fifteen my parents tried to pull us apart. They thought they could find me a better arranged marriage. I disagreed.” Krupa leaned against Joyce and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled briefly before he continued. “In Tir, you do not have rights until you turn eighteen,” he explained, “Well, you have some, but one might say they are bare bones. Your parents dictate everything. Children are basically property. They dictated to me that Krupa was unsuitable and that they would find me a better match. They didn’t take me seriously when I did not accept that. They broke off the betrothal without my consent. I am a committed pacifist and after trying and failing to negotiate, then pleading and failing I went on a hunger strike. I lasted for seven days on water alone before I was put in the hospital against my will. Maybe it would have been more effective if I'd told them for the first few days, but I was new to the practice.” Joyce’s eyes hardened as Krupa found his hand and squeezed it. “I was discharged from the hospital and went on another hunger strike,” he continued, quietly, “Again I was put in a hospital and when I was discharged I started again as soon as I left. My parents grew frustrated. Krupa astrally projected to me and begged me to stop even though we were no longer betrothed. I would not. She is important to me. My parents decided to let me starve to break my will. So I starved myself. I went for nearly three weeks on water alone. It was awful in words that I can't describe. There was pleading, begging, threats, coercion of all sorts. My parents broke down and renewed the betrothal. As I recovered in the hospital, Dove visited me in a dream. She…He…” Joyce made a face and frowned. “Sorry, it’s hard,” he said with a sigh, “Dove changes gender so often either to suit the need or seemingly at random. It’s distracting because I always know in the moment but can never anticipate it and he grows offended if I get it wrong. Nevertheless, Dove came to me in a dream. She was impressed with me. Dove doesn’t speak to me. It’s all through dreams and feelings. He is pre-lingual. You’ll learn what that means later.” Kenji found himself drawn in by the story and gained an appreciation for Joyce that he hadn’t had before. He imagined Joyce as some sort of foppish noble and now he wasn't entirely sure what to make of Joyce. Starving oneself on purpose was an alien idea to Kenji. In the ACHE, if you had food, you were lucky and you ate it. End of story. Joyce looked to Krupa and she squirmed uncomfortably. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he said, quietly. He gave her hand a squeeze and she nodded. Krupa looked at her feet and spoke quietly. “Dolphin values environmentalism, justice, fair play and faith in people that most people think is misplaced,” Krupa said, quietly, “I disagree. I think everyone has goodness inside of them. I know that people can be selfish, mean and cruel but they don’t have to be. If I find out someone is being…Well…A bully, I want to stop them. I want them to understand that they can be better than who they are. I want them to be their best selves.” Krupa smiled sadly and sighed. “Dolphin came to me when I found out that…Um…” she said, anxiously, “Someone was hurting someone else close to me. I put a stop to it. I don’t like to confront people in the way that I did. Especially…” Krupa opened her mouth as if to say more, but closed it and stayed silent. Joyce picked up the conversation. “We support and check each other,” said Joyce, “Perhaps our relationship is not the healthiest of relationships, but it’s who we are and we’re not going to change. Hans, the last Dog shaman, told us his story. It is not ours to tell, but it was about as serious as mine. Krupa’s was as serious as mine too. It's not about me though, just to give context. Every new contact with a mentor spirit requires some form of extremism. The class is not there to teach us how to harness our relationship with our mentor. Not at first. It is there to keep us from being controlled. Later we learn how to establish an equal footing with our mentor. So Kenji, Dog is the most common spirit mentor, but common is not bad. That you caught Dog’s attention speaks well of your character.” “I chose friends,” said Kenji, quietly. No one said anything and though the elves from Tir waited for him to speak, the moment passed. Kenji knew that that story was too personal and dangerous to tell. However, a dawning horror came upon him. There were two others in his class that he was in a way involved with. He looked up at Krupa and spoke. “Wait, you said you oppose bullies, right?” asked Kenji. Krupa nodded and frowned. “I know what you’re going to ask,” she said, quietly, “Olisha, right?” “Right,” said Kenji, anxiously. Krupa looked to Joyce who caught it. Kenji saw that Krupa looked ashamed which he’d never seen before. Again, he was struck by how bizarre that felt. He’d known for a short time, but somehow he’d known her in that artificial way for all of his life. Somehow he held those two competing facts in his head at the same time and considered them both true. It made his head hurt. “Olisha’s cruelty is only rivaled by her laziness,” said Joyce, angrily, “Her playfulness makes it all worse. I believe that she can’t be reined in, only managed.” “I think she’s actually being her best self,” said Krupa, sadly, “And that’s the scary part. I feel bad whenever I say that. Am I being bad?” “No,” said Joyce and Kenji together. They looked at one another and Krupa smiled. “And Julian?” asked Kenji. Krupa shrugged as Joyce untangled his hand from hers and wrapped his arm around her. “We don’t know,” admitted Joyce, “He doesn’t share.” “What’s his mentor?” asked Kenji. Joyce and Krupa looked between one another. Both of them looked decidedly uncomfortable. “We think it’s Fire-Bringer,” said Joyce, “It’s why we never come to him with any problems. Not ever. Only solutions.” “Why?” asked Kenji. “Well, there’s much to love about them,” said Joyce, “Imagine a trickster for good. A person made entirely of good intentions. They teach, shape and create, but they’re extremists too. If we’re right then you should never ask him for anything big. Not for your sake, but his. They are extremists of self-sacrifice.” Kenji, Julie and Saanvi - Saturday, July 27th, 2075 – Afternoon – Seattle Metroplex, Cascade Behavioral Center Julie hugged Kenji hard and it felt so good. It was two hours since she left. “Krupa told me everything before she went into session with Mr. Brand,” said Julie, quietly, “I’m so sorry.” “No big deal,” Kenji lied. Julie pulled back and looked at him. For a few seconds she searched his face, but then she pulled him back into that hug. “We’re both a mess, huh?” she asked. “Yeah,” agreed Kenji, “We’re getting better though.” Julie pulled away again and beamed at him. That smile did wonders for Kenji’s morale. “I think you’re right,” said Julie, “Look, I know you have to go to. I wrote a letter.” Her gaze drifted away from his and she transferred a file to him. Kenji wondered since he was under surveillance if someone might read it. Doubtless it was being catalogued by Tir intelligence and the thought of some foreign government’s agency collecting a private note made irrationally angry and amused at the same time. “Don’t read it until you get back home, okay?” she asked, “It’s sort of embarrassing.” Julie managed to keep it together for a few seconds before she threw up her hands in exasperation. Kenji could almost feel her anxiety as she began to babble. “I’ve been such a terrible person and I treat everyone around me badly but I don’t mean to,” she admitted, “I’m selfish sometimes and I don’t even know why. I self-sabotage all of the time and I think I did it again. I don’t know. I suck.” Julie sighed dejectedly. “You don’t suck,” soothed Kenji, “None of my pack sucks.” “Pack?” asked Julie. Kenji pursed his lips and shrugged. Julie’s dejection was replaced by curiosity. “It’s a whole thing,” he said, “I barely get it. It’s like being super Dog friends.” “Super Dog friends?” asked Julie, incredulously. Kenji shrugged and smiled. “Hey, you said we didn’t have a lot of time,” joked Kenji. “Well tell me about it later, okay?” she asked. “Okay,” said Kenji. They hugged again, but this time, Julie kissed him on the cheek. It took him by surprise and it was the second stolen kiss of the day. Then she broke the hug and walked away far too quickly to be dignified. When she looked back at him, she nearly tripped over a well-trimmed shrub, but she stumbled instead of plowing into the stone path. He quickly turned around and pretended not to see. Somehow he imagined that embarrassment wouldn’t do well for her mental health. As for his own, he still had a text to send and a message from Julie to read. He shrugged and decided that he’d just text Saanvi and see what happened. Embarrassment, potential abandonment and intelligence agencies could do their worst. “Sorry about that,” he texted. “It’s cool. Also thanks for the room thing,” she texted back. “Any problems? Now would be a good time to bail if you want to,” he responded. “Everyone has problems. If you can deal with mine I can deal with yours,” she replied. Kenji smiled up at the new noble, paladin of Tir, political hostage, EOD trained active military for a terrible nation, potential shadowrunner and the first crush of his life that didn’t feel completely doomed. Saanvi Patel checked to make sure no one was watching and made covert and awkward finger guns at him with silvery metal gauntlets. Kenji couldn’t help it. He laughed. Kenji - Saturday, July 27th, 2075 – Late afternoon – Seattle Metroplex, the school boat Kenji received his box of long haul at the best possible time. Right when Joyce and his security crew were out of sight. He had five ampoules of pharmaceutical grade long haul which would keep him awake for four days. He had a lot of studying to do in a very little amount of time. Next week he’d be busy and he needed to prepare. They were legal, but he didn’t really want Julian to know about them. The second was a dead drop message from Octo. She’d come through with the program. Hey roomie, I got that Cantonese tutorsoft you wanted. The eight tentacle discount is the best discount. You’re buying me lunch and soon. Midnight Food, yo. The way to this girl’s heart is through all you can eat stale gas station doughnuts and drown them in General Tso’s sauce. Midnight Food is the only place that I can truly release my inner slob. P.S. I know you’re thinking you’ve seen me at my slobbiest. That wasn’t even my final form. - Octavia “drat, I was thinking that,” complained Kenji, “Midnight Food. Holy poo poo. I might as well cover the stale pizza in antacids.” He waived to Joyce who waved back. Then he gave a small wave with just his fingers to Saanvi, though this wave was near his hip. She put her hand on the pommel of her sword and followed suit. He walked up the gangway, picked a seat on the near empty school boat, because barely anyone was coming back for Saturday night. He spied Fuzzy in a seat, but she looked exhausted and drenched in sweat. Enhanced senses or not, he could almost smell her from here. He was glad that her being pack didn’t force him to close distance and smell her. Now alone, he opened Julie’s note and began to read as the school boat began to move. Kenji. I like you. I mean I like you like you. That was really hard to write. I didn’t know if you knew, but now you do. I’m also a mess. I finally admitted to myself that I’m a racist and really hurts to admit after admitting that I like you. I was able to leave most of that behind last year, but getting bullied and nearly getting shot to death put a bad taste in my mouth for elves. I feel horrible, but part of dealing with my problems means saying them out loud. Breaking down is possibly the best thing that’s happened to me. I’m getting help. I’m making friends too. Krupa is perhaps the nicest person I’ve ever met. She’s a big part of convincing me to be a better person. We talk a lot. I told her about my dad. I haven’t told anybody except for you, Marco, Fuzzy and Sasha. The teachers know, but that’s not the same. Krupa hugged me when I told her and said it wasn’t my fault. That hurt, but it was a good hurt. I’m sorry for causing trouble for you and making you feel bad. I like you like you, but I also treated Marco like crap and still haven’t apologized to him for dumping him out of the blue. He helps, I take and I feel terrible. He’s got this big hush, hush project going on since he decided to stay in Seattle and I’m taking his attention away. I don’t feel good about it. Krupa told me that Saanvi is lonely and you might like her. It hurt, but yeah. I don’t feel good about it, but I want you to be happy. Maybe you’ll hit it off. Krupa says she’s really intense though. All three of us eat together sometimes when she visits and I don’t see it. Just saying. I found out why Chip is so bratty. He’s not supposed to be. That’s not how I made him. It turns out that he’s a spirit of healing who can’t heal and a spirit of knowledge who doesn’t do much teaching. He’s super happy when he’s helping me heal or learn, but I poured a little mischief into him and that’s what he’s about. Mrs. Maureen says he’ll probably mellow out once he’s able to heal. It sort of stings how he’s the closest person to me and how he’s part me and I still don’t understand him sometimes. I feel like I should. Be good. Visit me when you can. I don’t know when I’m leaving, but it’s probably not for at least another week or two. - Julie Kenji read the message three times. It hurt, but he knew some of this already. The admission that she liked him he’d known about since she’d sat next to him in her apartment with the party raging during summer. He’d gotten wrapped up bad memories and she’d been there to comfort him. As for the racism, he’d known about that for a lot longer, ever since she’d been on the shame pole in her first few weeks. She was still pack and if being pack had conditions then he didn’t know about them. Being unable to pull away from people was a scary thought. He'd need to ask someone about it. Once he brushed up on his Cantonese, maybe that would be Min Yun. Julian could teach him a lot, but felt like he should talk to the older Dog shaman and pack mate. This had been an emotionally exhausting day and it wasn’t even over. There was so much to unpack and he felt like he should talk to someone. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to say or what he’d say even if he knew. He just wanted to talk and know that someone would listen. Maybe even understand if he was lucky. “That would be nice,” he said to himself. CYOA Time So Kenji has a lot to unpack. Julie has written a note where she admits to liking him, but she also acknowledges her racism. So she wants him to be happy. She is the one who suggested that Saanvi date Kenji despite her own feelings. Kenji doesn’t understand his own feelings or Dog. He is having a hard time parsing that he loves Krupa like a sister due to Dog’s vision where he was Saanvi, dealing with his loyalty towards Julie and his very first crush in which the feelings are at least somewhat reciprocated with Saanvi. At the moment, Kenji is all sorts of confused. He was able to keep a lid on it until now, but now that he’s alone something may give unless he does something to deal with his feelings. So who does he go to immediately upon arrival at the island in order to talk? The options are as follows: Julian, Sasha, Fuzzy, Joyce or Oli. Or he can try to work out his feelings on his own. Other characters may show up if we approach one of them. Or he can just try to bury his feelings in a fit of toxic masculinity. -- Welp, I had a big writeup for this scene with rolls and stuff but it got lost. Luckily I remember the story beats. Kenji still has a compulsion left though from his negative traits. I’ve been messing around with it with some vague ideas, but I’ve figured out what I want. Since Kenji no longer has the LeBlanc compulsion, I’ve replaced it with the following homebrew compulsion. “Those darn Patels” – Kenji got a flash of being Saanvi from Dog. It is beyond empathy. For a while he was truly her and that has come with complications. He loves Krupa like a sister despite that not making sense. He truly understands and wants to help Saanvi. While these feelings were forced onto him, he could drop them if he wanted, but the love of family this intense is not something he’s felt before and he wants to hang onto it despite it not being real. And for now at least, he has a devastating crush on Saanvi that he’s not prepared for. In fact, him being kind to her instead of immediately plunging into dating demonstrates just how much he likes her. He’s taking someone else’s feelings into account instead of his own desires. Kenji is-a-changing and change is painful. Kenji is at -4 to all social and composure rolls with Krupa and Saanvi. On the plus side, Julie dealing with her racism instead of reaching for more power allowed her to better deal with her feelings rather than try than try to date Kenji. It’s still an act of self-sabotage for her to set him up with Saanvi but this is an improvement for Julie. A small improvement, but still an improvement, relatively speaking. She is open and up-front with her feelings with Kenji, but probably not with herself. Oh Julie.  Also, that was an extremely difficult portion for me to write. There were just so many moving parts all at the same time along with a number of reveals I've been sitting on. It was hard to keep track. Let me know if that was readable. I don't want to overload people with information. Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 11:35 on Nov 4, 2018 |
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Sep 22, 2018 15:02
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quote:Everyone but Joyce had a second kulfi and that was when Krupa spoke up. KRUUUUUPAAAAAA Goddamned annoying little sisters. Anyway, missed you Ice, and welcome back. You've got a couple formatting errors near the end with regards to bolding scene information, but the actual story came through fine. So Joyce really Loves Krupa. Put the uppercase L in there for emphasis. I was wondering about that since he always seems embarrassed or long-suffering when it comes to her affections but multiple hunger strikes? Wow. He's gonna kill us if we hurt her. Not in the cold nobility off-hand way either. It will be personal. Yikes. I'm still solidly on board Team Saanvi even though A) Kenji's emotions are being manipulated by Dog (hell, so are mine, even if it is non-magical, thanks Ice) and B) Julie confessed her love (in the most awkwardly teenage way possible omg) and we all love Julie. Anyway, from Krupa's story it sounds like she knew about her parents abuses of her sister and tried to do something about it. At least that's my assumption, but it's odd because Joyce and Kenji's big moments where actual huge things, whereas Krupa's doesn't seem to have had any actual effect on things since we know they are still treating Saanvi like poo poo. BTW, the "WE'RE BEING SUBTLE ABOUT OUR CONNECTION" thing Kenji and Saanvi are doing is so adorably stupid. I have lived this, and I love reading it.
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Sep 22, 2018 16:52
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I'd propose Kenji goes to talk to Sasha, her special vision would probably be helpful at working through stuff.
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Sep 22, 2018 17:15
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Ah, right. Kenji isn't really close with Sasha, but she's Pack so now's as good a time as any to change that.
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Sep 22, 2018 17:19
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Yeahs, let’s ask Sasha. Fuzzy needs a shower, and probably wouldn’t have a clue to deal with this situation, And Julian, as much as I like his character, I don’t think would have the best advice for this situation, plus we don’t need to slip up and tell him about the upcoming run.
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Sep 22, 2018 17:26
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Sasha. Telling Julian will just make him self destruct in order to help us due to Firebringer, Fuzzy will have zero idea what the gently caress to do and we don't know Oli like, intimately well enough to talk to her about this.
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Sep 22, 2018 21:46
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Definitely talk to Sasha. Sasha and Fuzzy have the most 'together' relationship that Kenji's probably ever actually been exposed to in his life, and Sasha's the most likely of the two to be able to articulate feelings in a nuanced sort of way. After that, though - once he's been able to figure out some of his feelings, and draw a line between his feelings and Dog a little bit - it's time to go talk to Julian. He needs more coping tools, and Julian is the one that can give them. But, critically, he takes Krupa's advice and doesn't ask for anything more than Julian can afford to give for fear that he won't refuse. Kenji knows what it's like to be beholden to a self-destructive set of rules; even if he doesn't show it openly he's going to be careful about what he asks of Julian from now on.
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Sep 22, 2018 22:18
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A few shots, for medical purposes (a fit of toxic masculinity is a temping option for him - ACHE seem like a kind of place that doesn't encourage searching for shoulders). Then, Sasha and Fuzzy - in that order, if we don't find them together. (Note for these who think Fuzzy won't know what to do - yeah, but advice is secondary aim - primary is talking) Rest of list, no. If Julian asks and insists, maybe ; Most other people, he'll need more shots first. Also, he asks Fuzzy if the showers in the gym broke. Pack don't let pack be a biological hazard. Aside - the food stuff could be toned down. There are sone relevant pieces there (like, say, "I eat this just to make her happy"), but the rest? (Also, phone posting. Sorry)
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Sep 22, 2018 22:33
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Instinctively I would have said Fuzzy because I think of her as his best friend, but I would like to see more scenes with him and Sasha together, especially since this thread voted her as pack (though I'm still not convinced by that decision). When is Kenji going to see Min Yun again? Also, thanks for the update Ice Phisherman, I appreciate you keeping this story going even when you aren't feeling it. Groetgaffel posted:In addition, I say Kenji starts with downing a shot of window cleaner vodka, or whatever else he certainly has hidden away in his cabin. I never thought about that, but it makes sense. I'm back to leaning towards Fuzzy, I don't think he's close enough to Sasha to come to her with his problems. Chatrapati fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Sep 23, 2018 |
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Sep 23, 2018 00:36
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Welcome back Ice! Great stuff as usual! Kenji and Saanvi are just incredibly cute together. RickVoid posted:KRUUUUUPAAAAAA We're getting involved with Saanvi, and we're doing it by diving in head first. And yeah, mark me down as yet another vote for going to Sasha with our problems. In addition, I say Kenji starts with downing a shot of window cleaner vodka, or whatever else he certainly has hidden away in his cabin. Not getting drunk mind, just a single shot to take the edge off. His emotions are a jumbled mess, he's not used to talking about his emotions with other people, and he's not as close to Sasha as he is to his other packmates. So I'm advocating just a single shot to help him relax just a little bit, collect himself somewhat, then seek Sasha's help. Additionally, additionally, he should talk to Julian at some point in the future. But only after he feels composed enough to not let anything slip. As I understand it, Joyce made a deal with Julian that he'd watch over Kenji and help him in case of what actually happened happening, and as such he almost certainly told Julian about it, or will do once he's back on the island. So Julian might approach Kenji for a little talk on his own anyway. And no, I don't think the bit about the food was overwrought. I feel it helps to sell how Joyce is feeling about it. It's not what he enjoys, but the one he loves does, and so he endures with a strained smile.
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Sep 23, 2018 00:42
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Chatrapati posted:When is Kenji going to see Min Yun again? We're quickly approaching the third act and she'll figure prominently into it. We'll also see the other shadowrunners like Octo and Gentoo as well, though they'll get some spotlight near the end of act two. Chatrapati posted:Also, thanks for the update Ice Phisherman, I appreciate you keeping this story going even when you aren't feeling it. You're welcome. I'm pretty sure I'm feeling it again. It's difficult to write at the pace that I did when I'm not. I do get depressed and spent a lot of my life being controlled by that depression, but my episodes are far shorter these days. In fact, two weeks is considered a long time for me now when it used to be three to six months. Most episodes pass within a few days. I think I'm through the worst of it and for that I'm grateful. Gun Jam posted:Also, he asks Fuzzy if the showers in the gym broke. Pack don't let pack be a biological hazard. Yep, he's going to ask. There is a reason for it, but it's very minor storywise. It just fits with how Fuzzy's character operates. Groetgaffel posted:In addition, I say Kenji starts with downing a shot of window cleaner vodka, or whatever else he certainly has hidden away in his cabin. I like this. Him raiding his stash of mouthwash vodka for a shot to help him loosen up sounds like something he would do. I did want to see if anyone was interested in the toxic masculinity thing where he just buries his feelings and pretends they don't exist. I think that would make sense for the younger version of Kenji, but I wanted to bring it up as an option in case anyone was interested. In solidarity with Kenji, I've made my way to the grocery store to pick up some Manischewitz blackberry wine. I got addicted to the stuff after Passover a few years ago when the stuff went on clearance and I picked up enormous bottles of overstock for about ten cents on the dollar. I'm not Jewish, but I appreciate the brand. I'm celebrating the end of my depressive mood with blackberry wine and it's delicious. CourValant posted:Donation Talk: Do you have a number in mind in terms of what you need to commission art? Just checking back with this. I actually got enough from a generous donor to commission two pieces of artwork. One for the banner on the website and one for the cover art for the first novel. So I'm golden on that front. I'm hoping to get some rough sketches from him this Sunday and I'll keep the thread updated on the artist's progress. In the meantime I'll start saving for the second novel's artwork, but I don't want to overload the artist with work as this is not his full time job so it will be at least another month or two before that happens. In short, the art is taken care of for the moment. I got exactly what I needed and thank you to the kind reader who helped me with that. Also, I thought you might appreciate a small touch I slipped in. As I understand it from my reading of Chinese culture vs. Western culture, Westerners tend to ask what something is before they eat it. Kenji on the other hand was raised in a sort of fusion of impoverished mishmash of Southeast Asian cultures. So Kenji eats something, considers it and asks "What did I just eat?" I enjoy making small touches like that even if 99% of people won't notice. Though when I do this, I usually try to keep it to maybe a line or two so it doesn't distract from the story. Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 02:54 on Sep 23, 2018 |
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Sep 23, 2018 01:21
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Taking a shot of vodka when his Dog problems involve feeling too much and thinking too little is a perfect kind of bad decision. That seems like exactly the kind of thing he'd try to do to even himself out and then promptly regret. "I need to rationally think through why I'm feeling what I'm feeling and keep my emotions under control. Surely liquor will help me with that." I'm not being sarcastic either. That's exactly the kind of bad decision I could see him making.
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Sep 23, 2018 02:54
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Dude your writing abput food makes me hungry for that food.
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Sep 23, 2018 06:08
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I like the food stuff, too. Also liking the idea of talking to Sasha, knowing that Kenji will also probably be talking to Fuzzy, too. And taking that shot first.
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Sep 23, 2018 07:55
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Got some of the rough, preliminary sketches back for the banner art and the cover art.  From the artist. artist posted:Here are the rough sketches to show what I had in mind, composition wise - poses and scales tend to change as I clean things up (I'll probably rework the banner in particular so the building sizes make more sense) but the overall layout will more or less stay the same. Let me know what you think and any ideas or changes you might have in mind. The idea here was to take the banner and rotate it 180 degrees to give people a look at Fuzzy. Originally I wanted the skyline to be much further away, like a view from Blake Island, but I may be interested in a closer look. I'm torn. Curious about what people think. I'm not going to take votes on art because art isn't something that should be designed by committee, but I will take input into consideration. As soon as I have something to say I'm going to email the artist back, but I'm pleased with how Fuzzy and Puppy are turning out. So now we have a rough base to fill with detail, though we can still change stuff if wanted as it's pretty early. Also, I'm thinking about a design for the Blake Island School of Magic logo as she's going to be wearing her school shirt in this picture along with her original devil rat leather jacket. Any ideas? Ice Phisherman fucked around with this message at 22:01 on Sep 23, 2018 |
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Sep 23, 2018 21:52
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Sasha will be good to confide in. Also start by explaininh to Sasha and Fuzzy (because she'll be there too) what exactly being his pack means according to his limited understanding so far. This is a nice setup because Fuzzy and Kenji can be casual and take the boat ride together then suggest that He Fuzzy and Sasha can hang out tonight. If he glitches they're busy with date night and he hits his booze and buries it for a little bit but not too long.
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Sep 23, 2018 22:27
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