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I came from Joy and caught up with this over the past couple of weeks. Shadowrun + believably implemented love and friendship is a blast. I am so glad Kenji is still alive and am looking forward to how this stuff with Dog turns out. I can't imagine that Dog would be a huge fan of Edward, so that will be something to see. Or would Edward just be completely unaware of Dog? Kenji makes the introduction between Fuzzy and our new potential friend. He's going to try to follow up on the urge to get the racists attacked, but intelligently. He's going to want to talk to Jayvon's friends. Mention it to Octo and Min Yun when he gets more info, see if they want a bite. Kenji also needs to figure out a way to help Sasha. She's his friend and he goes to bat for his friends. But also he feels like he bears some of the responsibility for the fall of her dad. On top of all that he'll now have Dog pushing him to do things. Of Sasha's friends Kenji is probably in the best position to help, since this is primarily a social engineering problem. He's going to include everyone in has plans because he'll need them, but Fuzzy is going to be particularly important because he knows her powerlessness is going to eat at her. e2: Also I just realized that a group of people with the Ares spear and shield is basically a bunch of modern Hoplite, which is so thematically consistent with the Ares theming I'm shocked it didn't immediately jump out at me. Dr Subterfuge fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Jun 9, 2018 |
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Jun 9, 2018 13:35
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Ice Phisherman posted:Hey there! Welcome to the thread! Thanks! Yeah, those questions were more a list of the things I was thinking would be important to Kenji. Not knowing how this effects Edward is really interesting to me. I was thinking Min Yun's loyalty to Kenji would keep him safe, but I hadn't considered that would basically necessitate telling Clever, too. At this point I'd think that Kenji would probably know enough to decide whether or not telling Clever would be a bad idea, but as an audience I'm not sure we do. Maybe it would be cool to include more flashbacks about how their relationship has developed? And now that you mention it, I can easily see Julian deciding Edward is dangerous. Man what a mess that would be. quote:Kenji helping out Sasha can be a thing too. [snip] I was actually thinking more along the lines that Kenji is going to take Sasha getting bullied pretty hard. Isn't it going to raise Dog's hackles every time he hears about it? Or at least the worst cases? I think Kenji is going to want to go after to worst bullies the best way he knows how, which is manipulation and organization. quote:Hop Light. 
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Jun 10, 2018 04:24
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3 > 1 > 2, Hmong, drop Math
Dr Subterfuge fucked around with this message at 01:32 on Jun 11, 2018 |
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Jun 10, 2018 21:04
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Can't learn from Julian without dropping a class on Kenji's schedule. Can't drop Julian without risking his getting into Kenji's business. 3 has a risk with Julian, but not as much, and Kenji learns more about Dog. But he still has to drop a class. 
Dr Subterfuge fucked around with this message at 21:45 on Jun 10, 2018 |
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Jun 10, 2018 21:39
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Actually, switching to drop Enchanting. Dropping Math means we double up on core classes later and will have to drop either art with Oli (bad, she's going to get crushed by bullying otherwise) or English with Fuzzy (what we'd probably end up doing, which might not be good either.) Kenji doesn't really have a pressing reason to do Enchanting now other than the possibility of cool enchanted tattoos.
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Jun 10, 2018 22:59
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jagadaishio posted:Dude, Enchanting is his path to making Tattoo Foci. That's half the reason he's taking Art too. Dropping Math is a much better idea. What's actually left for him to take to be able to do that? I honestly have no idea.
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Jun 11, 2018 00:43
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jagadaishio posted:Taking Enchanting to be able to enchant the tattoos, and taking Art to be good at the tattooing itself. This is part of the whole 'learn a hobby, become self-actualized' thing that Kenji's been trying for. Alright, changing back to drop Math. I'm going to be sad if Kenji doesn't get to take English with Fuzzy though.
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Jun 11, 2018 01:32
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Julie, Fuzzy, Sasha, and Min Yun all seem like they should be pack. Octo could be too if the story went that direction. Or Marco, if he comes back. Hilariously, Clever isn't, and I could see Min Yun being the only one of the two with that honor pissing him off. I've also been trying to think of ways to tip Min Yun, and probably the most meaningful thing Kenji can offer is a heavily discounted Tattoo Focus, which I could also see pissing Clever off. He was paranoid that Min Yun will leave him for Kenji even before he had a reason to be, after all.
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Jun 12, 2018 16:01
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Grudging respect definitely. Even with Kenji's abundance of charisma he was completely outgunned. He would dearly like to be able to do that some day. If Julian asks point blank about Edward, Kenji going to have to tell him. He would really prefer not to, as it honestly does expose both of them to danger, but if Julien insists he'll do it if they can't be spied on. Everything will be worse if he gets caught being evasive. Kenji actually has a fair amount that he can talk about, otherwise. All the art stuff and tattoo stuff is totally above board. E: Actually, I'm pretty sure the money Kenji used to sponsor Oli wasn't above board. Kenji is pretty hosed, actually, isn't he? He's completely at the mercy of Julien's questions. Living with a Octo and doing whatever it was he did over the summer (still not really clear on what it was, only that involved lots of first impressions and questionable legality) isn't something he can really talk about, either. The tattoo stuff, though, Julien will actually like. E2: It's really nice that Kenji gets to just help out his friends without getting hosed over by any programming :3 And whatever happened to Sasha working with a teacher to optimize her Pulse Plus spell? That really seems like what she should be doing instead of combat magic. I mean it would be great for her character if she could make it through this crucible, but she's just going to get absolutely dunked on in there 
Dr Subterfuge fucked around with this message at 20:34 on Jun 12, 2018 |
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Jun 12, 2018 19:11
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Kenji went to the greatest lengths for Octo until he risked his existence for Sasha and Fuzzy. I think Octo has potential, but Kenji has kind of forced his friendship on her and it has mostly stayed in that space. Not that she isn't nice to him, but Kenji is definitely closer to the Blake Island group. And Kenji is probably be better off getting to know our new antifa dwarf acquaintance rather than trying to befriend another Shadowrunner like Gentoo. Julian? I dunno. He'd be even harder to crack than Kenji was.
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Jun 12, 2018 20:59
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6 hits! And here I was just thinking that this wouldn't have gone nearly so well if she still had that 2 in etiquette. Which is still true, but drat.
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Jun 14, 2018 02:12
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I think the reintroduction is good, honestly. It doesn't take up a huge amount of space, and I think the only place you've been this concise about their descriptions is outside the narrative in your "supplemental" posts. Plus, it was fun to hear an assessment of Fuzzy from Fuzzy herself. I haven't read a ton of web serials, but I know you've mentioned Wildbow before. I think both Worm and Twig (I skipped Pact) would benefit from a bit of that slowdown between arcs.
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Jun 14, 2018 15:58
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The mentor character in Diog's thread keeps morphing in my head into Morgan Freeman even though I know he's basically supposed to look like Sean Connery.
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Jun 14, 2018 20:08
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A psych ward? Because she's terrified about revealing she saw the future and getting hunted down as a curiosity or worse? I mean sure, she has plenty of problems that make this worse, but I don't actually see the justification for sending her to a psych ward, or why she would accept. E: That was dramatic as hell though. I really enjoyed their conversation. Dr Subterfuge fucked around with this message at 23:32 on Jun 25, 2018 |
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Jun 25, 2018 23:27
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Fuzzy and Kenji are going to recognize that they both don't respond well to this kind of situation and work together, right?
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Jun 26, 2018 03:16
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CourValant posted:Wouldn't it be more in line with violent crime survivor or domestic abuse survivor or something similar? Nah, not with this: Ice Phisherman posted:7. She was abused by the prison guards as a way of breaking her. I've mentioned cavity searches at gunpoint more than once.
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Jun 27, 2018 01:04
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Well then. They lead with the stick instead of the carrot to provoke people into being made an example of, but then gave them an out in the spirit of the whole disciplinary setup. An interesting way to handle it. Man those freshman in particular are going to hate him, though. Not that he can't handle it. Probably.
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Jun 30, 2018 21:24
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I really liked Julie's chapter up until the "welp, now she's going to be institutionalized" drop in the liner notes. But, after reading these chapters with characters wondering what happened to her, it does feel like this is the sort of gradual introduction of the concept that would make things less jarring and probably even more exciting. With those notes there I could feel the narrative lurch (and as you explained, Ice, it was a lurch even for you), but it seems like the story itself is on a pretty good path to introducing this turn of events.
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Jul 2, 2018 16:33
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Kind of surprising that Julian wouldn't have addressed potential conflicts between Cat and Dog shamans on the first day, but I suppose I understand that it makes things more interesting from a narrative standpoint. Though he's also pretty tired and distracted, and it's not like he hasn't missed something like this before. It just seems like with spirit mentor stuff he'd be on the ball. Also, Ice, I may have been primed for seeing this since you said this was basically a rough rough draft, but something seems off about Julian's voice. He seems kind of generic maybe? I don't know exactly what it is.
Dr Subterfuge fucked around with this message at 14:25 on Jul 8, 2018 |
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Jul 8, 2018 13:50
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Man seeing their mentors summarized like that it's very easy to see how those two could be decent people that also would be totally willing to give the fascism in their country a pass.
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Jul 9, 2018 00:25
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I tend to stay away from intentionally walking into bad ideas in CYOAs because it's usually hard enough to get the outcome you want even when trying to be smart. "Bad idea" is subjective, of course.
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Jul 9, 2018 22:43
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CourValant posted:Kenny accepts the invitation graciously, and recognizes it for what it is; an audience with Tir Nobility which he wouldn’t have received otherwise. Furthermore, being an elf, Kenny appreciates this as a potential opportunity to step into a larger, even more influential and powerful, world. Aha! An in-character rationale I like. Let's go with this.
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Jul 10, 2018 00:07
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numerrik posted:I’m pretty sure Dove wouldn’t tolerate a facist so Joyce is likely a good person, unsure about Dolphin, so Krupa is up for debate. From his perspective the fascists are probably the peaceful and harmonious ones. He defended their "democratic reforms" which Ice has highlighted in his notes as being mostly window dressing. I'm going with probably a good person, but sheltered and absolutely willing to go to bat for his country.
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Jul 10, 2018 05:40
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Or that society's women, who, surprise surprise, tend to get a lot of that frustration unfairly directed at them.
Dr Subterfuge fucked around with this message at 17:08 on Jul 11, 2018 |
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Jul 11, 2018 16:55
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Going along the legal-ish path seems like it fits best with Kenji. I won't dismiss the idea of having a mentor out of hand, and I don't think Kenji would either, as it potentially does have some benefits. I think Kenji would first explore what kind of mentor he might be able to score before he'd make the decision to strike out alone.
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Jul 16, 2018 01:42
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Fuzzy and Sasha are definitely Pack. Julian isn't, but he's invited into the hug anyway. Julian could be Pack, maybe even by the end of this year, but I don't think there's enough there yet for him to occupy such an emotionally special place in Kenji's heart. They have probably connected more in the past two days than in all of the last year combined, and they haven't really connected all that much. Fuzzy and Sasha are Pack because of all that poo poo with Edward. Kenji's friendship with those two in particular was what got Dog's attention in the first place.
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Jul 16, 2018 23:04
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malbogio posted:It seems to me like the question of "Is Julian Pack?" comes down to whether being Pack requires emotional intimacy and secret sharing or whether it's just the people who would be there without question when you're in a pinch. I'm inclined to think that it's the latter, and that while emotional intimacy often develops along the way it isn't a prerequisite. This is an interesting observation and it actually seems plausible that the direction went would depend on the Dog Shaman.
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Jul 17, 2018 04:21
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I loving love The Great Gatsby. Really interested to see where you're going to go with this, considering how many corporate teens would probably hate this book. I can't decide if they would hate the depiction of Tom Buchanan or decide he's the only good character.
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Jul 20, 2018 06:23
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Ice Phisherman posted:Yep, that's what I was going for. They're going to be looking at the Great Gatsby from a far different point of view. I'm not going to delve too deep into it, but I think it'll be interesting. The Great Gatsby is more of a staple of high school English class in the US. Since I bounced around schools a lot as a kid I read it four times in high school and middle school along with To Kill a Mockingbird and Lord of the Flies twice. Oh wow, did you end up getting anything out of all that repetition? I know I went from being kind of meh on To Kill a Mockingbird the first time I read it to loving it after reading it again a few years later. Never ended up reading Lord of the Flies. Tom is indeed a terrible person, and the closest thing to their representation in the book. So do they hate him because they see him as a misrepresentation, or does someone sympathize with him because he represents them, in spite of being terrible? Maybe not the most important question you could highlight, especially considering that there are also new rich people on the crowd who might see a lot of themselves in Gatsby instead, but it was definitely the first thing I thought of. You really have quite the setup: the Gilded Age through the lens of a Cyberpunk future with a class of people who are either new rich or old rich with two people thrown in who would most easily identify with the valley of ashes. Sick.
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Jul 20, 2018 07:30
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I'm imagining Kenji and Fuzzy having a conversation about how Markowitz is an idiot, and it starts out with them citing completely different reasons. Fuzzy realizes it was a lapse for him not to already know about her, Kenji has already looked up what the book is about and can clearly see how poorly it's going to go over.
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Jul 20, 2018 22:46
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I want surprisingly incompetent teacher to be surprisingly competent somehow, too. Yeah, Perter Principle, but he was hired for a reason. Like, in spite of everything, he manages to make a pretty big impression on Fuzzy or something.
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Jul 21, 2018 13:54
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Deadmeat5150 posted:For Markowitz, a wise old fart once told me, "There aren't many things more pitiful than a man educated past his own intelligence." I think he looks good on paper, but in practice he is seriously lacking. But he makes s connection with a student, Fuzzy, and learns how to be a better teacher. He came with a goal and an idea, to Gatsby the hell put of thesr spoiled corporate brats. Instead he'll find the true meaning of being an educator. I wasn't envisioning it being so Hallmark-y. I just don't want him to be a complete fuckup
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Jul 21, 2018 18:19
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Deadmeat5150 posted:I want it to be Hallmark-y. Heh, welcome to the club. I have a dumb typo of Peter enshrined twice on this very page.
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Jul 21, 2018 19:00
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Butt Discussin posted:So far there have been a few dark intimations that fire bringer is abusive and that there is going to be terrible trouble because of him, but I haven't seen him/it do or say anything that I wouldn't wholeheartedly support. When does the fire really start burning? Soon, I hope. Ice's basis for Fire Bringer is basically Prometheus, who did a great thing (brought civilization to mankind) and paid a terrible price (eternal torment). A spirit who demands that people follow in those footsteps is basically going to demand the greatest good, no matter the price, and punish them with worse if they don't. We have yet to see Julian refuse Fire Bringer, but we have seen the consequence of following an order: protecting Fuzzy the best way he knew how, which ended up with Julian completely loving up his relationship with her for about a year. (Admittedly his best was wholly inadequate.) Actually, some kind of flashback with Julian refusing Fire Bringer might be a cool way to flesh out his character more and shed some light on the abusiveness. E: We have seen Fire Bringer tell Julian what a failure he is and reminding him that he asked for this situation. That's pretty good evidence of the abusiveness of their relationship. Like, that's not at all the kind of mentor someone should have if they were trying to be a better person. Dr Subterfuge fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Jul 26, 2018 |
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Jul 26, 2018 02:26
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jagadaishio posted:I'm also not reading the spoilers. I appreciate it. 
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Jul 26, 2018 21:00
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Everyone is someone to Krupa, even the assholes. Don't be a bully, even for the right reasons. Say hello to a naive philosophy that can justify any power structure as long as it isn't overtly hostile.
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Jul 29, 2018 13:53
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Crazycryodude posted:Jayvon always punches up and that's what makes him good I laughed out loud when he said that. I'm interested in seeing him try to adapt to this new culture he finds himself in. It's kind of funny to me that he and Fuzzy are gong to end up spending a bunch of time together, but she isn't really equipped to teach him much about the culture he finds himself in. She can only pass on lessons she took from adapting from the Barrens.
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Jul 30, 2018 22:56
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I'll admit to realizing a paragraph wasn't going to be more than gun porn and skipping it.
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Aug 2, 2018 13:22
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Yeah I probably wouldn't have used the term "gunporn" if it hadn't already been used. I recognize it had a purpose other than to salivate over guns, which is a notion that a term like "gunporn" basically denies. I'm much more willing to believe that Kenji might think of Clever as Pack after this scene, and part of that is the knowledge that Kenji retained all of this information well enough to (Dog) dream about it, which highlights how important this all was to him. At the same time, I think its purpose might still be served by trimming it down some. Just my two cents though.
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Aug 2, 2018 20:30
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An etiquette test against Julian probably won't go well for Kenji, and it seems entirely in character for him to be wary of that fact.
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Aug 4, 2018 15:51
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