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Azran
Sep 3, 2012

I am the real hero here.


There's a mod for that, unsurprisingly. Kinda weird when they get kills without dying.

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Kanos
Sep 6, 2006

was there a time when speedwagon didn't get trolled

I love Coast but I've spent 3 campaigns trying to find a use for Animated Hulks and have not yet succeeded. Literally the only advantage I can think of is that they're one tier lower than Mournguls(in a faction that cares less about unit tier than any other faction).

I can't fathom why they didn't give them some kind of niche, like poisoned attacks or anti-large or hand cannons or something that makes them not "worse Mournguls in every possible way".

juggalo baby coffin
Dec 2, 2007

How would the dog wear goggles and even more than that, who makes the goggles?


man, i really do not like taking Itza as lord skrolk. the garrison there is just nuts.

Agnostalgia
Dec 22, 2009


Kanos posted:

I love Coast but I've spent 3 campaigns trying to find a use for Animated Hulks and have not yet succeeded. Literally the only advantage I can think of is that they're one tier lower than Mournguls(in a faction that cares less about unit tier than any other faction).

I can't fathom why they didn't give them some kind of niche, like poisoned attacks or anti-large or hand cannons or something that makes them not "worse Mournguls in every possible way".

They, uh, look kind of neat?

The Cheshire Cat
Jun 10, 2008



Kanos posted:

I love Coast but I've spent 3 campaigns trying to find a use for Animated Hulks and have not yet succeeded. Literally the only advantage I can think of is that they're one tier lower than Mournguls(in a faction that cares less about unit tier than any other faction).

I can't fathom why they didn't give them some kind of niche, like poisoned attacks or anti-large or hand cannons or something that makes them not "worse Mournguls in every possible way".

I feel like hulks would be better if they could actually use their cannon arms (it's weird to me that they're entirely ornamental). Make them work like some of the melee units in the historical games that are armed with javelins - they get a fairly powerful short ranged attack with very little ammo, so they can disrupt a charge or just fire off a few volleys to soften up a target before charging in. It would help make them more distinct from the other monsters.

Yukitsu
Oct 11, 2012

Snow=Yuki
Fox=Kitsune
Snow Fox=Yukitsu, ne?

Kanos posted:

I love Coast but I've spent 3 campaigns trying to find a use for Animated Hulks and have not yet succeeded. Literally the only advantage I can think of is that they're one tier lower than Mournguls(in a faction that cares less about unit tier than any other faction).

I can't fathom why they didn't give them some kind of niche, like poisoned attacks or anti-large or hand cannons or something that makes them not "worse Mournguls in every possible way".

I think they're a kind of mediocre MP unit rather than a campaign one. They're nothing great but they don't cost too much for a line breaker while the mourns cost a ton for their niche.

Ammanas
Jul 17, 2005

Voltes V: "Laser swooooooooord!"

juggalo baby coffin posted:

man, i really do not like taking Itza as lord skrolk. the garrison there is just nuts.

plague destroys lizardmen

Ragingsheep
Nov 7, 2009


As Luthor Harkon, are you supposed to just get DOWed by every single Lizardmen and roaming army that you come across?

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011


Yeah actually. Any lord that has a SPECIFIC distaste for a race such as harkon for lizards is translated as they have a huge hate-on for you in return.


Kill 'em all. You're their alith anar. Pirates hate lizards.

terrorist ambulance
Nov 5, 2009


Agnostalgia posted:

Vampire captains get the hunger innately, they don't have to spend a skill point on it like the Counts' version but its in their ability list.

Actually, I just double checked, and in my Noctilus campaign they definitely don't have it as a default skill or as a campaign skill. No "The Hunger" for vampire captains on Noctilus. Maybe it's just for that campaign?

Does anyone have a good AI replacement for "Advanced AI" which apparently isn't getting updated anymore

Azran
Sep 3, 2012

I am the real hero here.


re: Daemons of Chaos talk, it wouldn't surprise me if CA goes with a lesser/greater daemon spread for every god. N'Kari was mentioned cryptically in a couple of epilogues and it wouldn't surprise me to see... them, I guess? as a Lord. And if you're going to have a Keeper of Secrets, might as well have the rest of the greater daemons.

Man, can't wait to have Kolek fight a Bloodthirster.

juggalo baby coffin
Dec 2, 2007

How would the dog wear goggles and even more than that, who makes the goggles?


TODAYS MAYBE WH3 LL CHAOS GOD: TZEENTCH

How inquisitive
I'm delighted
You've inquired
Who the hell I am

Allow me to elucidate
Perhaps pontificate
Upon the state of my most
Great and perfect plan


Tzeentch: the tricky trickster who tricks, trickily. chaos god of change, fate, hope, ambition, plans, more plans, being a dick all the drat time for no reason, and taking credit for stuff. Nurgle hates him cause nurgle is pretty anti-hope and change, preferring comfy sadness and the status-quo. Tzeentch might have had a hand in encouraging Nagash's ambition to be a big time fucker who created the undead, another mark against him in Nurgle's book.

When Slaanesh was born, Tzeentch tricked he/she/them into starting a war with Khorne and Nurgle, only to peace out at the last second and leave slaanesh to be hit with bodyslam after bodyslam from the top rope by a vengeful Khorne. Tzeentch also tricked Skarbrand, Khorne's greatest bloodthirster, into trying to take out Khorne and become the new big daddy of being red and mad. Skarbrand ended up being thrown so hard he flew for a week before he hit the ground. He tricked Balthasar Gelt into trying to kill Valten, after having tricked him into taking up necromancy in order to maintain the wall of faith that he had tricked all the priests out of maintaining.

His plans don't really go anywhere, because if they did and he won it would be a new status quo, the most he does is gently caress up other peoples plans. It's like that yugioh cartoon they used to show on saturday mornings, where 50% of the dialogue was people playing trap cards that triggered other trap cards, all of which had 700 effects. Nobody wins, especially not the viewer. he is a very lovely boss, because despite his colour being blue and his granting of wishes, he isn't at all like the Aladdin genie. he's much more like the Wishmaster genie, where his entire goal is to get one person to make three wishes, but he makes all the wishes he grants so horrible that nobody ever will ask for the third. you end up serving tzeentch, you guaranteed will end up trapped in 600 stupid intrigues and some sort of ironic curse.

his minions include chaos spawn, guys flying around on evil frisbees, and big pink firebreathing pac-mans who split into smaller blue pac-mans when slain.

Tzeentchampions

Vilitch the Curseling


who run barter town?

Vilitch and Thomin were born twins in some village, somewhere. Thomin was big and strong, Vilitch was weak and feeble. Thomin was a big time dickhead, always beating Vilitch, and their father never bothered to intervene. Vilitch prayed to Tzeentch one night, and when he woke up he was fused to his brothers body as a weird mutant goblin guy. Fortunately he now controlled his brother completely, and also got really strong magic powers for some reason. Using his combined brains and brawn he destroyed the whole village, who kind of had it coming, and tracked down every warrior descended from his village and mind controlled them as his minions.

In the End Times for some reason things got switched up and Thomin took control again and Vilitch became mindless. I dont know how that helps tzeentch cause I dont think thomin knows any magic or really anything at all, but whatever. The end times was stupid.

He's my pick for Tzeentch LL #1, because hes one of Tzeentch's only real characters, he's current, and people like him.

pros:
- two heads are better than one
- runs barter town
- cool looking

cons:
- stupid eventual fate
- might have kind of a whiny personality

The Blue Scribes


teamwork makes the scheme work

These guys are BY FAR my favourite Tzeentch guys. i like em so much i want them more than i want big hats for the chaos dwarves. however, i dont think they will make it in as a LL because prior to WH2 i wrote my predictions for WH2's launch LLs, and my main pick for skaven was my beloved guy Thanquol. I thought it was inconceivable for him to not get in, with how much personality he has and how funny he is. He didn't get in. These two are WH3's thanquol.

Tzeentch one time wanted to gather up every spell in the universe, so he created two minions to do it: P'tarix and Xirat'p, The Blue Scribes of Tzeentch. But Tzeentch is a paranoid motherfucker, and feared what would happen if anyone got a hold of the records the twins had made, or if the twins got it into their heads to go into business for themselves. So as a security measure, he made it so that P'Tarix can identify spells and write them down in a language of arcane glyphs, but cannot read what he has written. Xirat'p, on the other hand, can't write, doesn't understand anything about magic, but can recite the spell scrolls perfectly to cast them.

The system is supposed to be that they find a spell, P'Tarix writes it down, then Xirat'p casts it to make sure the spell is the real thing. But given that they fly around the mortal realm by themselves looking for spells, they get into a lot of scrapes, and when they get into scrapes, what tends to happen is a lot of squabbling as they get frustrated trying to find and cast the right spell for the situation. They're a demonic abbot and costello, constantly casting random spells by mistake. I love them.

Pros:
- super fun
- two stooges
- great spellcasting
- cute
- lots of personality

cons:
- too cool to end up in a game
- random spellcasting

Kairos Fateweaver


the big bird of sesame street

Kairos is a Lord of Change, Tzeentch's signature big bird demon. Sarthoreal from total warhammer 1 is a lord of change, so same family. Tzeentch got mad he couldnt see the future so he went to the well of eternity in the center of time, but just to be safe he threw in a whole bunch of lords of change instead of going in himself. Only Kairos survived, and when he came back out he had two heads. one could see the past, one could see the future, but both were blind so he can't see the present at all. Also one head tells the truth and one always lies, because hes a dick. He can see stuff that even Tzeentch can't, so he uses that to have a little fun with people.

Not a bad character, he could be a fun sneaky bird, but we already have Sarthoriel so CA might just go with their pre-existing lord of change lord over Kairos. Please pretend this entry is also about Sarthoriel, cause I think theres a chance of them shining him up to be the tzeentch LL for WH3, but I dont want to write a post about him because he doesn't really have a story beyond what is in the game already.

pros:
- twice the bird, twice the nerd
- classic riddler
- got a very big pretty model recently

cons:
- kind of the stock tzeentch guy
- probably irritating to be around with all his riddles

THE CHANGELING


i been to the desert on a horror with no name

this boy is another special horror like the blue scribes, a special boy cooked up for a special purpose. in this case, his purpose is to turn into other people and cause mischief. Only Tzeentch knows his actual name, so only tzeentch can have power over him. But despite that, Tzeentch doesn't actually ever make him do anything. he lets the changeling do whatever it wants, and then takes credit for the result having been his plan all along (seriously).

I'm being kind of flippant about this guy, but i do actually like him. He pulls a LOT of pranks. He cut off slaanesh's hair and wove it into a cloak that tzeentch gave to one of his mortal champions, he locked Khornes doors to his house behind him when Khorne went out to war, so Khorne had to break down his own door. he stole all of khornes dogs' brass collars, and melted them down into little dioramas of times Khorne and his forces lost battles. He put nurglings on the skull throne, so they all farted when khorne sat on them. He stole Slaanesh's silver apples of knowledge, snuck them into nurgles garden, then got bored and abandoned them there to rot. Slaanesh and Nurgle had a mini war over that incident.

Everyone hates the changeling, but they can't ever catch him. I'm not sure he is LL material though, I could see him as more some kind of special immortal agent the tzeentch faction would start with, like cylostra's ghost paladin.

pros:
- prankster
- good sense of fun
- imitates guys and doesn't afraid of anything

cons:
- yes he has done a LOT of cons


so all four of those guys have very recent models, are relevant in the end times lore, and even in age of sigmar, and I think are all popular. For every chaos god there are a bunch of very, very old champions who CA could always dredge up, but its not really worth me writing them up because in most cases they don't have anything to write up. They're just guys with very short backgrounds from a book in the 80s. Tzeentch's guys like that are Egrim Van Horstmann (a traitor white wizard from the empire, the most powerful wizard to ever defect), Melekh (a guy with a deformed son who ended up with magic powers through events), Aekold Helbrass (guy who makes stuff come to life around him wherever he goes), and Tzchar'zanek (generic chaos champion who i guess was in warhammer online).

here are pics of them in the order i listed them:






this post has taught me that unlike what i said before, tzeentch does actually have some cool and likeable characters, so thank you for that, this post.

Zyla
Jan 30, 2009

ho[meowww]ner


do you have any links to your old posts from your wh2 guesses and all that i'd love to read all sorts of lores and i like how you post em

GreyjoyBastard
Mar 28, 2010

I've made a huge mistake.


i'm finding that the most dangerous thing for my pirate armies by far is shallow hills my gunners can't shoot over and enemy archers can

although even just the "can't shoot over" part kinda sucks if it lets enemy melee get to you without advancing through a hail of gunfire

juggalo baby coffin
Dec 2, 2007

How would the dog wear goggles and even more than that, who makes the goggles?


Zyla posted:

do you have any links to your old posts from your wh2 guesses and all that i'd love to read all sorts of lores and i like how you post em

im afraid not, i think I only really did predictions for skaven in this format. i think i wrote some general lore stuff about tomb kings and nagash prior to wh2 coming out also, but they're all in the old thread.

Dr Christmas
Apr 24, 2010

Berninating the one percent,
Berninating the Wall St.
Berninating all the people
In their high rise penthouses!


Aekold Helbrass is a fun Tzeentch champion. I don't think he was a wizard, unlike most Tzeentch champions, and he was blessed with a power that indiscriminately healed things and caused plants to bloom and such, like a Disney princess. I think during this time GW wasn't nearly as focused on the the "rebirth" part of Nurgle's portfolio as they are today.

toasterwarrior
Nov 11, 2011


Haven't tried it myself yet but I've read that Animated Hulks are a better option for early game flank anchors than Deckhands or pistol zombies, since they're meaty and do AP damage. Early game in this case is like T2; with non-shotgun crabs being T3, Animated Hulks -> Rotting Prometheans seems like a natural flow if you decide to go monster recruitment chain over melee recruitment chain.

GreyjoyBastard
Mar 28, 2010

I've made a huge mistake.


Dongattack posted:

Man, Bretonnia (like the entire area along the western cost) is ridiculously unprepared for Heinrich Kemmler and The Barrow Legion. The game said it was gonna be HARD in big red letters, but but there's just nothing they can do to a skeleton/zombie blitzkrieg rush. Units too lovely and area too fractured, I LIKE IT

in my current cylostra game Kemmler rang me up when the Age of Exploration rolled around and said "yo, I see you don't like elves, wanna hang out?" and he owns like all of Bretonnia

The Cheshire Cat
Jun 10, 2008



Dongattack posted:

Man, Bretonnia (like the entire area along the western cost) is ridiculously unprepared for Heinrich Kemmler and The Barrow Legion. The game said it was gonna be HARD in big red letters, but but there's just nothing they can do to a skeleton/zombie blitzkrieg rush. Units too lovely and area too fractured, I LIKE IT

I had a similar problem playing Khalida in Mortal Empires. loving Last Defenders broke a non-aggression pact literally one turn after they agreed to it and the starting Tomb King roster just has nothing that can effectively deal with a big stack of saurus warriors. I ended up having to fight his army with two full stacks of my own and still barely scraped by. After that I made sure to completely rush his territory before he recovered just so I wouldn't have to deal with him again.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012


So uh, how does everyone pronounce Tzeentch? Is the first "T" just silent? Or is it like a really drawn out "change"

Scrub-Niggurath
Nov 27, 2007



Pillbug

Tzeentch also gets a special shout out as the go-to Chaos God for a lot of the video games in both fantasy and 40k. Mainly because his aesthetic is “normal chaos stuff but cooler” and much easier to translate into ESRB: Teen rated games

Scrub-Niggurath
Nov 27, 2007



Pillbug

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

So uh, how does everyone pronounce Tzeentch? Is the first "T" just silent? Or is it like a really drawn out "change"

“Zeeench” but start with the front of your tongue pressed flat against the roof of your mouth

Ammanas
Jul 17, 2005

Voltes V: "Laser swooooooooord!"

the only way to increase capacity of mournghul haunters is via ship buildings?

GreyjoyBastard
Mar 28, 2010

I've made a huge mistake.


Flavahbeast posted:

In case anyone didn't know, you can disable skirmish mode by default in the Options menu

gently caress

Ammanas posted:

the only way to increase capacity of mournghul haunters is via ship buildings?

doesn't one of the pirate cove buildings do that too?

toasterwarrior
Nov 11, 2011


Yeah, one of the cove buildings does. That thing is super-buggy, I swear I've seen it raise both Mournghoul Haunter and Gunnery Wight caps by one on the first building of its kind, then each subsequent building only says it raises cap for Mournghouls, but it still also raises Wight cap.

MonsterEnvy
Feb 4, 2012

Owlbears Preferred.


juggalo baby coffin posted:

Also one head tells the truth and one always lies, because hes a dick.

A thing I should point out about this, is that the heads don't stay consistent about this. When Kairos talks, one head tells the truth while the other goes for an equally believable lie. But same heads swap their roles.

Krazyface
Jul 15, 2011

A: to get those sweet first-place bonus points


Hair Elf

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

So uh, how does everyone pronounce Tzeentch? Is the first "T" just silent? Or is it like a really drawn out "change"

"Dzeentch"

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juggalo baby coffin
Dec 2, 2007

How would the dog wear goggles and even more than that, who makes the goggles?


MonsterEnvy posted:

A thing I should point out about this, is that the heads don't stay consistent about this. When Kairos talks, one head tells the truth while the other goes for an equally believable lie. But same heads swap their roles.

this is a very good point i forgot to mention. kairos really likes to have fun with people, even with tzeentch, i guess as payback for throwing him into the Toilet of Time

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