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DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

Hi Charlie, me again.
I wasn't quite done crying yet.





____________________________



Falls Count Anywhere Hell in a Cell Match
Kevin Owens def. Shane McMahon

Bobby Roode def. Dolph Ziggler

WWE Championship Match
Jinder Mahal (c) def. Shinsuke Nakamura

SmackDown Women’s Championship Match
Charlotte Flair def. Natalya (c) by Disqualification

United States Championship Triple Threat Match
Baron Corbin def. AJ Styles (c) and Tye Dillinger to become the new United States Champion

Randy Orton def. Rusev

SmackDown Tag Team Championship Hell in a Cell Match
The Usos def. The New Day to become the new SmackDown Tag Team Champions

Tag Team Kickoff Match
Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin def. The Hype Bros

____________________________

Raw Results
  • MizTV with special guests The Bar (Sheamus and Cesaro) opened the show doing "The Mizzies 2", an awards show where Miz gave awards to himself and his friends. They mocked the former members of The Shield and the idea that they could ever put their personal differences aside to reunite. Roman came out and gave Miz a chance to shut his mouth, when Miz mocked the idea of him coming down to face them all alone he brought out Dean and Seth. The three attacked and beat up everybody, then did their fistbump in the middle of the ring.

  • Jason Jordan defeated Karl Anderson despite distractions by Gallows.

  • Backstage, Kurt Angle checks on Miz who is being looked at by medical staff. He books Miz and The Bar against The Shield at TLC.

  • Elias was stopped from performing his song in the ring when Titus O'Neill showed up playing a banjo. Elias defeated Apollo Crews in a match.

  • Enzo Amore was in the ring, angry that Kurt Angle was giving Kalisto a title match at the PPV after attacking him last week. Kurt reminded him the no-contact clause didn't apply to Kalisto. Enzo argued that he should be treated better and Angle decided to move the title match to tonight instead. Enzo demanded it be the Main Event and Angle agreed, on the provision that the No Contact Clause would be lifted and it was now a Lumberjack match.

  • Braun Strowman destroyed Matt Hardy in a match and tried to carry him backstage, but was cut off by The Shield. Braun tried to attack them too but they beat him up and hit him with the Triple Powerbomb through the Announce Table. Backstage, the Shield did a promo saying they ran the business now.

  • Mickie James did an in-ring promo talking about Alexa Bliss' cheap verbal attacks on her. Alexa came out and played a "tribute" video for Mickie James making fun of her age. The two got physical in the ring but Bliss quickly escaped.

  • Backstage, Bayley asked to have the debut match against Asuka at TLC. Sasha, Alicia Fox, Dana Brooke and Emma also wanted the shot. Kurt booked them in a Fatal Fiveway to decide Asuka's opponent.

  • THE Brian Kendrick and Jack Gallagher defeated Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali in a tag match.

  • The Miz caught up with Kurt Angle backstage and said he agreed to the match at TLC, but he wanted to hold Dean Ambrose to account for his earlier statement that they could take on any number of opponents. BRAUN burst through the door to be added to Miz's team, and TLC will now be a 4-on-3 Handicap match.

  • Finn Balor came to the ring to talk about how Bray's mindgames didn't work because he'd beaten him as a Demon and as a man. One of the funniest and most awful things that has ever aired on WWE TV then occurred, and there was a great deal of laughter.


    The gif does not do it justice, track down the video.

  • Emma won an Elimination match (they forgot it was a Fatal Fiveway apparently) in a messy match to decide who would be the sacrifice for Asuka at TLC. Dana was eliminated by Bayley. Bayley was eliminated by Alicia Fox. Alicia Fox was eliminated by Sasha Banks. Sasha Banks was eliminated by Emma.

  • A confused Finn Balor was interviewed backstage and did his best to sell the awful Bray Wyatt video, claiming Bray had unleashed Something Awful (). He claimed he knew what he must do.

  • Next week Roman Reigns will face Braun Strowman in a Steel Cage.

  • Kalisto talked about honoring and continuing the tradition of the likes of Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero by beating Enzo for the Cruiserweight Title tonight.

  • Kalisto defeated Enzo Amore in a Lumberjack match that started slow and boring but got better as it went on. The lumberjacks all started brawling at one point which lead to Enzo being suplexed into all of them outside the ring. Kalisto hit a top turnbuckle Salida Del Sol on Enzo and pinned him to win the title.

____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • A recap of the Hell in a Cell main event between Kevin Owens and Shane McMahon, where Sami Zayn saved Kevin from Shane's Super Elbow Drop and rolled him on top of Shane to get the pinfall win.

  • The new Tag Team Champions The Usos called The New Day out to the ring where they offered their respect to a surprised New Day after their excellent Hell in a Cell match. They declared the two teams were the best that the Smackdown tag division, but that the Usos RAN the tag division. They offered a truce between the two sides which was accepted.

  • The Hype Bros, Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin came out to complain about the constant New Day/Usos matches. The Usos mocked the Hype Bros, noted Gable was smart to team with a former IC Champion like Shelton but BOTH teams needed to go to the back of the line. The Fashion Police and the Ascension came out as well, all the teams wanting a title shot. The Usos told them if they wanted one, to get in the ring and make one.

  • A downbeat Daniel Bryan showed up before a brawl could erupt (drat) and forced the Usos and New Day to get out of the ring. He instructed the other four teams to have a Fatal Fourway match to determine the new Number One Contenders for the Usos' titles.

  • Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin won the Fatal Fourway and gained the title opportunity against the Usos. Tyler Breeze took the pin.

  • Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn are now sharing a locker room and were forcing WWE's interviewer to wait before they'd answer questions about the PPV.

  • After a long recap of the Nattie/Charlotte title match, Nattie was gleefully hugging the belt backstage. Lana and Tamina talked about wanting Tamina to get her shot, Carmella pointed out she has the MITB briefcase, and Nattie told them they could all agree that they deserved the title more than Charlotte. Charlotte showed up and attacked Nattie and had to be physically pulled away by refs.

  • New US Champion Baron Corbin did a backstage promo saying that after all the talk of him taking shortcuts and squandering opportunities, he beat two guys at once to win the title and now it was AJ who had squandered HIS opportunity.

  • Becky Lynch defeated Carmella with the Disarmer, after Carmella had tried to use Ellsworth as a human shield and distraction for a sneak attack.

  • Kevin Owens limped out to the ring and got on the mic to gloat that he was a man of his word who sent Shane McMahon to hell. He said he was almost lost as well, he saw the white light and found himself at the pearly gates where he was trying to figure out how to cut in line. St Peter told him he was still needed on Earth, and Kevin's Guardian Angel Sami Zayn helped pull him back to life. With great glee he introduced his best friend and Guardian Angel, Sami Zayn.

  • Sami came out with the same music and mannerisms (just subtly adjusted to look like he was mocking the crowd) and got on the mic. He pointed out that he'd always done the right thing and waited for the opportunities to come that he deserved, but they never had. Shane McMahon always told him he would have his opportunities, but they never came. Finally he realized that Shane was only interested in himself, and when he chose to go back to the top of the Cell instead of pin Owens at the PPV, Sami "did the right thing" and saved his brother. The two hugged and demanded the crowd give it up for the other, forcing louder and louder boos. This was an excellent segment.

  • Shinsuke Nakamura and Randy Orton defeated Rusev and Aiden English in a tag match. Rusev tried to jump Nakamura before the Kinshasa, but he knocked Rusev around and into an RKO from Orton, then hit the Kinshasa on English to get the pin.

  • Backstage, AJ Styles admitted that by the rules of the PPV's triple threat, he couldn't complain about Corbin pinning Tye Dillinger to win the title. But he was going to win it back in the Main Event tonight.

  • In a vignette, we saw Luke Harper and Eric Rowan return carrying giant gently caress-off hammers, declaring that they were going to break bones and shatter spines - they are now The Bludgeon Brothers.

  • Roode came out to celebrate victory in his first WWE PPV. Ziggler came out with his new no-entrance gimmick and insisted that he exposed Roode who had to resort to cheating (he did, but so did Ziggler). The back-and-forth went badly with Roode messing up his lines and the crowd being mostly silent. Roode offered him a rematch in the ring right now, and Ziggler pretended to be prepared to go along with it before telling him you can't always get what you want.

  • Baron Corbin defeated AJ Styles one-on-one in a singles title match to retain the US Title. It was a very good match and Corbin's power counters to AJ's moves were very well done.

  • In-ring, Corbin was interviewed by Renee Young and told all the fans to eat it, and they could cry and cry about him retaining and he'd buy a boat and float down a river of their tears.
____________________________

DrGonzo's Movie Pick of the Week and favorite Stanley Kubrick Film:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq0Vd8vSfHc

Somebody fucked around with this message at Oct 11, 2017 around 02:03

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exploded mummy
Sep 10, 2008

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell
Blue skies from pain
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?

- Incubus



Doctor Rope

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

Hi Charlie, me again.
I wasn't quite done crying yet.



change the tag please, thank you

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

Eater of worlds, pins, and CHICKEN


If you're Okada and you've seen what Nakamura and Finn have been part of over the last 25 hours, you never leave Japan even on vacation

yea ok
Jul 27, 2006

postin levels------its over 9000!!!!!!!!!


I got tickets to see the Shining on the big screen in november, should be a good time. Gotta say, would be nice to see Barry on it, too, some day, some where.

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

Hi Charlie, me again.
I wasn't quite done crying yet.



yea ok posted:

I got tickets to see the Shining on the big screen in november, should be a good time. Gotta say, would be nice to see Barry on it, too, some day, some where.

they were doing screening with live music some time ago i think?

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007



Chris James 2 posted:

If you're Okada and you've seen what Nakamura and Finn have been part of over the last 25 hours, you never leave Japan even on vacation

Okada probably was never going to leave New Japan but this probably 100% kills any chance of them getting Kenny

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

Mr. Intensity


Please remember to pour one out for emma when she gets murdered by asuka at tlc.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.


I seriously cannot stop laughing just thinking about that Bray Wyatt segment.

yea ok posted:

I got tickets to see the Shining on the big screen in november, should be a good time.

The Shining is my favorite Kubrick film (Barry Lyndon is also great) and I've been lucky enough to see it on the big screen, and it's even better that way.

Ragnarok the Red
Jun 21, 2002

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes YES! YES! YES!


DarkstarIV posted:

Please remember to pour one out for emma when she gets murdered by asuka at tlc.

I'm kind of torn. On the one hand they put on a great match in NXT and would love to see another one of those, on the other Emma's been booked so weak on the main roster Asuka having trouble putting away someone Nia casually squashes would make her look awful.

Gotta love WWE spite booking and what it does to talented people.

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

Hi Charlie, me again.
I wasn't quite done crying yet.



Wyatt sister Abigail attire.

Spoiler:

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007



As bad as that promo is if they spin a wheel to pick a gimmick match I'll be 100% on board for Finn/Bray

Also they need to shoot a Mini Movie before hand

You know like this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgT5ta5oWCc

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

God is dead, true love is a lie, and the yard belongs to the Big Dog.

OH IT'S TRUE. IT'S DAMN TRUE.


The Sister Abigail segment was legit one of the worst things I've ever seen in wrestling

How did they think that was going to play

Platypus Farm
Jul 12, 2003

Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!


SatoshiMiwa posted:

As bad as that promo is if they spin a wheel to pick a gimmick match I'll be 100% on board for Finn/Bray

Also they need to shoot a Mini Movie before hand

You know like this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgT5ta5oWCc

I'm already 100% behind it. This is honestly one of the dumbest, most brain dead, thumb-suckingly stupid things I've seen in a very very long time and I'm completely flabbergasted at the whole thing.

I absolutely can NOT wait to see how stupid it can get and how long poor Finn can keep playing straight man to it.

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

HUSS
HUSS
HUSS


hi i'm not going to be making discussion threads anymore, bye

Ragnarok the Red
Jun 21, 2002

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes YES! YES! YES!


Professor Funk posted:

The Sister Abigail segment was legit one of the worst things I've ever seen in wrestling

How did they think that was going to play

Random person in the crowd's uproarious laughter midway through it was amazing.

Platypus Farm
Jul 12, 2003

Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!


Also I'm ashamed there's no mention of Irish Pathology in the title

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006



He said mythology.

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

Hi Charlie, me again.
I wasn't quite done crying yet.



please dont put spoilers on the new blade runner movie, im going to watch it with vampire lady

pressedbunny
May 31, 2007

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION~!

he knows...


For the record, I like Alexa's buttery biscuit base, and I can't fathom why Mickie James, of all people, would disparage such a thing.

tweet my meat
Oct 2, 2013


I'm amazed that they handled the Enzo and Kalisto moves so well. They built up both wrestlers in a way that made 205 one of the hot storylines, and had a good, if short, title run for Enzo that had interesting angles and a satisfying conclusion. They even let Enzo put up an actual fight in the title loss, and he actually did pretty well which lets him be an actual threat in future angles. Now 205 has two new wrestlers that are already over and they gave Neville a huge push as well. No one came out of that feud looking bad.

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

Hi Charlie, me again.
I wasn't quite done crying yet.



KungFu Grip posted:

hi i'm not going to be making discussion threads anymore, bye

dont worry, i got your back

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

Eater of worlds, pins, and CHICKEN


KungFu Grip posted:

hi i'm not going to be making discussion threads anymore, bye

I liked your OPs and hope you stick around at least <3

Mister Perky
Aug 2, 2010


SatoshiMiwa posted:

As bad as that promo is if they spin a wheel to pick a gimmick match I'll be 100% on board for Finn/Bray

Also they need to shoot a Mini Movie before hand

You know like this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgT5ta5oWCc

It'll still stink when they don't gimmick the wheel and "Miner's Glove" comes up again.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA



tweet my meat posted:

I'm amazed that they handled the Enzo and Kalisto moves so well. They built up both wrestlers in a way that made 205 one of the hot storylines, and had a good, if short, title run for Enzo that had interesting angles and a satisfying conclusion. They even let Enzo put up an actual fight in the title loss, and he actually did pretty well which lets him be an actual threat in future angles. Now 205 has two new wrestlers that are already over and they gave Neville a huge push as well. No one came out of that feud looking bad.

Enzo was constantly beaten up and chumped while cutting promos about how the other guys can't draw and then lost the title in a month to a guy who has been nothing but a jobber.

No one came out of this looking good.

BWV
Feb 24, 2005



I'm glad I spent the last 40 minutes clicking through Raw so I could see the shield be boring and bray wyatt play with a vocoder. the miz is good but everything else is terrible. at least it didn't take me 3 hours to figure it out

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

HUSS
HUSS
HUSS


MassRafTer posted:

Enzo was constantly beaten up and chumped while cutting promos about how the other guys can't draw and then lost the title in a month to a guy who has been nothing but a jobber.

No one came out of this looking good.

its the cruiserweight division and they actually had an excited crowd, its the best they've looked

Chris James 2 posted:

I liked your OPs and hope you stick around at least <3

i just don't have the motivation to make them anymore when i really dont care for wwe

DoctorGonzo
Jul 25, 2016

Hi Charlie, me again.
I wasn't quite done crying yet.



wwe thread: it was the wrong chair

VJeff
Jun 2, 2011

#HEKNOWS
#SCOOPS
#IGNOREMYPOSTS


Boy, the Enzo experiment didn't last long, huh.

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006



VJeff posted:

Boy, the Enzo experiment didn't last long, huh.

He hasn't helped the ratings.

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007



So yeah this kills Bray dead but Finn selling for this also pretty much kills his heat too.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.


KungFu Grip posted:

hi i'm not going to be making discussion threads anymore, bye

Sorry to hear that KFG. I hadn't heard from you and wasn't sure if you were making one tonight - your threads were very good and I appreciated them.

Just cleaned up the OP to be a bit easier to read.

VJeff
Jun 2, 2011

#HEKNOWS
#SCOOPS
#IGNOREMYPOSTS


Aphrodite posted:

He hasn't helped the ratings.

That'll teach him to not be a Canadian!

Little Mac
Jan 3, 2006

Super Mario Bros 3

KungFu Grip posted:

hi i'm not going to be making discussion threads anymore, bye

That's too bad. Dr. Gonzo sucks.

Man, the New Day/Usos tag match at HIAC was awesome, tho.

Perry Normal
Jul 23, 2010

Humans disgust me. Vile creatures.


Five years of build up to Sister Abigail, and they just went with Dead Presidents make up and a threw a rag on his head.

Sugar Blaster
Dec 14, 2004

All ears, all eyes, all the time!

DoctorGonzo posted:

please dont put spoilers on the new blade runner movie, im going to watch it with vampire lady
dr gonzos life discussion is "please dont put spoilers on the new blade runner movie, im going to watch it with vampire lady" for 10/9

pressedbunny
May 31, 2007

I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION~!

he knows...


SatoshiMiwa posted:

So yeah this kills Bray dead but Finn selling for this also pretty much kills his heat too.
Prince Devitt selling for a Yak Bak might be the most stunning assassination of character I've seen in WWE in years. He may as well have tapped out to a Nickelodeon sliming.

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

God is dead, true love is a lie, and the yard belongs to the Big Dog.

OH IT'S TRUE. IT'S DAMN TRUE.


SatoshiMiwa posted:

So yeah this kills Bray dead but Finn selling for this also pretty much kills his heat too.

I mean, Finn is one of the 3 or 4 most over babyfaces on the entire roster, so not really

It's real dumb though

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.


Finn standing there talking about how he could feel the evil emanating from this thing would have been real cool if said thing hadn't been laughably pathetic. As it was it just made him look silly as well which is a shame, since like a week ago or so he casually mentioned wanting another shot at the Universal Title and the crowd was super into the idea (because it's a cool idea).

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Sugar Blaster
Dec 14, 2004

All ears, all eyes, all the time!

pressedbunny posted:

He may as well have tapped out to a Nickelodeon sliming.
he basically did earlier in this very same feud.

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