These are the body types women want their men to have

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > These are the body types women want their men to have

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Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

proof of concept posted:

a good woman pic is usually more than enough for most dicks

Can confirm

:synpa:

Bogus Adventure fucked around with this message at 05:52 on Oct 11, 2017

# ? Oct 11, 2017 05:42

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 24, 2024 01:36

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

slenderman goes on vacation

# ? Oct 11, 2017 05:44

I.C.: Jun 10, 2008

You don't speak for me, OP.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 05:55

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

I.C. posted:

You don't speak for me, OP.

I believe I did.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 20:52

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

I hear the whole "dad bod" thing is really in with ladies today. However, I do not believe it is represented in the OP!!!

# ? Oct 11, 2017 21:16

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

chicks like a strong dude so the best move is to physically pick up the woman you want and walk away with her under your arm

# ? Oct 11, 2017 21:37

spinderella: Jul 15, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

Bogus Adventure posted:

So...is it a bad dick pick that's good enough for most women, or a good dick pick just isn't enough for most women?

Asking for a friend... >_>;;;

No dick pic at all. It's your balls we're hungry for

# ? Oct 11, 2017 21:41

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Spinster posted:

No dick pic at all. It's your balls we're hungry for

My sack is huge. You're telling me I've been taking these dick growing pills for NOTHING?!

# ? Oct 11, 2017 21:45

Grevling: Dec 18, 2016

Chomp8645 posted:

I hear the whole "dad bod" thing is really in with ladies today. However, I do not believe it is represented in the OP!!!

That's what they're telling themselves, but really there's not much else to choose from.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 21:50

Blue Star: Feb 18, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Spinster posted:

No dick pic at all. It's your balls we're hungry for

Literally. Devouring the genitals of men is how i personally sustain myself. Cant speak for all women but its true for me. Long have i dined on the balls of men who sought sexual relations with me. Now they are all eunuchs. And still I hunger...

# ? Oct 11, 2017 21:57

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

Spinster posted:

No dick pic at all. It's your balls we're hungry for

https://youtu.be/gmHf_1kqJc0

# ? Oct 11, 2017 22:03

Buccaneer: Jun 24, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

1redflag posted:

The funny part? He's Caucasian.

Aka the most popular male body type among women

# ? Oct 11, 2017 22:32

Buccaneer: Jun 24, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

a few DRUNK BONERS posted:

What body types do men want their women to have

Intact penis and testes

# ? Oct 11, 2017 22:35

walgreenslatino: Jun 2, 2015; Lipstick Apathy

If there's one thing women like, it's a man who exists in the physical realm. Face it incorporealcels, it's over for you

# ? Oct 11, 2017 22:53

myDad: Jan 20, 2010; ce n'est pas ma m�re; College Slice

Women like men who can subsist on the acidic atmosphere of Venus

# ? Oct 11, 2017 22:58

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

myDad posted:

Women like men who can subsist on the acidic atmosphere of Venus

well hello ladies

# ? Oct 11, 2017 22:59

Chitin: Apr 29, 2007; It is no sign of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

myDad posted:

Women like men who can subsist on the acidic atmosphere of Venus

If that's what it's like down there she should probably get it checked out.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:09

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Big Beef City posted:

well hello ladies

he said venus, not penis

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:11

VikingSkull: Jan 23, 2017; Look Viking you're a trash Trump supporter what the fuck makes you think you can have an avatar that isn't what I decide? Shut your fucking trap and go away. Your trolling is tiresome and just shits up the forum.

Chitin posted:

If that's what it's like down there she should probably get it checked out.

just lol if you don't eat atmospheric gas

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:12

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

I'm a gelantious ooze that can freeze itself into a vaguely humanoid shape for a few hours at a time.

That's me in the OP. Both pictures.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:17

paul_soccer10: Mar 28, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Bogus Adventure posted:

Can confirm

nice

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:19

paul_soccer10: Mar 28, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

hm maybe i'll start doing steroids

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:19

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Hector Beerlioz posted:

he said venus, not penis

It can be both

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:21

Light Gun Man: Oct 17, 2009; toEjaM iS oN
vaCatioN; Lipstick Apathy

Ok cool I'm pretty much the second type there. Hit me up ladies I'm single.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:33

a peck of pickled peckers: Aug 3, 2014; I am your Redeemer! It is by my hand that you arise from the ashes of this world!

I have a very large penis but my stamina is absolute garbage is this okay?

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:36

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

Orkin Mang posted:

a

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:36

Dicky B: Mar 23, 2004

here's my body type:

..(9)
/(. .\)
.(___)
._| |_.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:41

solar energy panel: Apr 30, 2007

Nothing is better than a glistening hairy chest.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:41

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

My penis is literally made of garbage

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:43

Former DILF: Jul 13, 2017

just a discarded red cocktail straw

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:48

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

lazorexplosion posted:

#1 on the inside #2 on the outside, I'm the full package

You're piss on the inside and poo poo on the outside?

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:50

Dog Jones: Nov 4, 2005; by FactsAreUseless

Women want the type of body that goes out and just bam buys a new lawn mowerr every time the old one runs out of gas, no big deal

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:51

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

Dog Jones posted:

Women want the type of body that goes out and just bam buys a new lawn mowerr every time the old one runs out of gas, no big deal

i use a reel mower and it turns out theyre good

# ? Oct 11, 2017 23:58

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

one trick is to wear clothes 2 sizes too big so the cloth hides your rolls of fat

# ? Oct 12, 2017 00:01

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

my rolls of fat tuck into each other in a way that bridges the gap between escher and lovecraft

# ? Oct 12, 2017 00:05

Oscar Wild: Apr 11, 2006; It's good to be a G

I look like Peewee Herman, my body is Rubenesque.

# ? Oct 12, 2017 00:13

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

They want a beefcake on the streets and a Geoduck in the sheets.

# ? Oct 12, 2017 00:13