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DivisionPost
Jun 28, 2006

Nobody likes you.
Everybody hates you.
You're gonna lose.

Smile, you fuck.


IT IS HAPPENING AGAh wait poo poo I knew that was popular for a reason.



Wait, that Dark Archie show got a second season? And it's good? What the hell?

Stop what you're doing and go watch the first season on Netflix. It's only 13 hour-long episodes, you can blast through it in a weekend, two max. I'm not going to tell you that this show is "different" from the typical teen drama. It's not Friday Night Lights. What I will tell you is that this show takes the hyperdramatics of your average soap opera and executes them in stunning fashion. As I said in a roundtable article I co-wrote with my friend Andy, this is a show for theater kids.

If you think you can roll with that, give it a try. Go ahead and bug out if you're not feeling it by episode 5, though. (Note that the Miss Grundy arc really drags the show down, but they move past it after a few episodes.)


Uh, I already knew this was good. Can you remind me of what happened in the first season?

My pleasure.
  • First thing's first: At the end of the season, Archie is dating Veronica and Betty is dating Jughead, but Archie and Betty have been making eyes at each other because Archie.
  • Hiram Lodge has been cleared of all embezzlement charges back in New York and is on his way to Riverdale. Veronica will not be happy to see him.
  • Clifford Blossom hung himself after it was discovered that he was using his maple syrup business—the one that pretty much puts Riverdale on the map—as a front to smuggle heroin, murdering his son Jason after he found out about it.
  • In response to these revelations, Cheryl Blossom tries to kill herself in the frozen Sweetwater River, but Archie saves her by PUNCHING THROUGH THE loving ICE, JESUS CHRIST. Archie and the gang are stupid enough to leave her alone afterwards, but luckily she doesn't try to kill herself again.
  • No, Cheryl just sets her goddamn mansion on fire. KIDS TODAY, HUH?
  • Alice Cooper was pregnant long before Polly; she was pressured to abort it, but instead she carried it to term and gave it away. Betty's got a half-brother out in the ether.
  • Speaking of pregnancies, Polly Cooper is pregnant with Jason's children, which is a problem because it turns out great-grandfather Cooper—the one who was shot by great-grandfather Blossom—was, in fact, a Blossom, making the children a product of incest. This doesn't bother the Blossoms, though. After all, nothing is more pure than Blossom blood.
  • I'll give you a minute to walk that off.
  • Go ahead chief, take two.
  • Riverdale's official policy for dealing with their biggest job creator being a murderous, drug-smuggling cad is "gently caress the poors." The police hold FP Jones in lockup to try and get him to roll over on his gang, The Serpents, suspected of having a part in the smuggling operation, but FP won't say a word. This forces Jughead into foster care (and by proxy, a new school), but he gets initiated into The Serpents as a show of gratitude and respect. Betty is...uncomfortable with this development.
  • Finally, the big one. Fred gets shot in front of Archie in what appears to be a botched robbery at Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe. His fate is unclear.


Ah yes, that's some good drama right there. Now what's coming this season?
  • Casting!
    • Casey Cott and Skeet Ulrich are now series regulars.
    • Charles Melton replaces Ross Butler as Reggie Mantle due to scheduling conflicts with 13 Reasons Why. Consequently, expect to see A LOT more of Reggie this year.
    • Mark Consuelos will play Hiram Lodge.
    • Brit Morgan (Supergirl) will play Penny Peabody: She's an attorney on retainer with The Serpents, known to prefer favors over cash, that Jughead enlists to help get Dad out of his spot. People call her "The Snake Charmer," which is pretty much the best that any law school graduate can hope for these days.
    • Vanessa Morgan (The Shannara Chronicles) will play Toni Topaz: She's a bisexual Serpent and a potential love interest for Jughead, serving as his guide to the gang's world.
    • Graham Phillips (The Good Wife) will play Nick St. Clair: An old classmate of Veronica's from New York who shows up in Riverdale. The character is described as "a hard-partying lothario" with a Nice Guy veneer that hides "dark desires and an unchecked sense of privilege." Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa claims that Nick will touch off "potentially the darkest storyline we've told," so I suggest you get ready for some justified takes.
    • Hart Denton will play Betty's brother Chic. Not much is known about him yet, he'll recur through season 2.
  • Loose Info!
    • Sabrina might yet appear in Riverdale proper, but for the moment, RAS has received a script order for The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, which would theoretically cordon off the mystical aspects of the Archie TV-verse to its own show, at least until the inevitable crossover.
    • On Fred Andrews: We won't know his fate until the end of the premiere, but while Molly Ringwald is confirmed for at least one episode, there's no news about her promotion to series regular. So unless there's an embargo in place—not unheard of—it's likely Fred makes it out of this one.
    • I can't link it without a redaction-breaking embed, but a couple of months ago, RAS tweeted a childhood drawing of either Cheryl or Jason's, showing a sinister-looking man in a striped shirt looming over the kids with a bag of sugar in his hand. "Lock your doors, #Riverdale," the tweet reads, "the Sugar Man is coming..."
  • Episodes! We get 22 this year; here are the titles of the first 10:
    • 201 – "A Kiss Before Dying"
    • 202 – "Nighthawks"
    • 203 – "The Watcher in the Woods"
    • 204 – "The Town That Dreaded Sundown"
    • 205 – "When a Stranger Calls"
    • 206 – "Death Proof"
    • 207 – "Tales From the Darkside"
    • 208 – "House of the Devil"
    • 209 – "Silent Night, Deadly Night"
    • 210 – "The Blackboard Jungle"


I'm tired of every SA thread constantly devolving into Israel/Palestine arguments and complaints about SJWs. Where can I go after the episode that isn't here?

To be fair, that never happened in the last Riverdale thread, but this is SA we're talking about, so...
  • The TV IV Discord – Like IRC but cooler. Friendly people, good if untested moderation (we're not terribly busy). If enough of you show up I'm sure we can get a channel devoted to the show. Always available either way.
  • Sex Archie (link goes to Twitter page in case SoundCloud bites the dust mid-season; apologies for the inconvenience) – A recap podcast by Goon Emeritus General Ironicus (AKA Grant) and his wife Alaina. Two people who are by turns unironically in love with this show and constantly in awe that this stupid bullshit exists. This is REQUIRED LISTENING if you're a Riverdale fan, and not just because Grant quietly checks in from time to time and even relayed a couple of my crackpot theories to his audience. For my money, there's no better way to digest each episode than listening to these two beautiful dorks confirm that the batshit insanity you saw actually loving happened. New episodes usually drop Thursdays.
  • Riverdale's Edge – Prefer your recaps in text? My friends Andy, Robyn, and I will be writing episodes up in roundtable format for our tiny little site. These will be up on Fridays Mondays; hard to say what it'll look like, but I'm hoping the extra time to digest will allow us to break the episode open a bit more. That said, I'm fine if we just end up geeking out each week, so we'll see.

Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 8 PM ET/PT; if you live outside the US, they'll be available week-to-week on Netflix the day after air.

One last thing for those of you looking to snack on something sweet during the premiere:

General Ironicus posted:

The Sticky Maple
(A coconut maple white chocolate chip Blondie with a maple glaze!)

By Alaina of Sex Archie

Blondie
1/2 c. butter
1/3 c. maple syrup
2/3 c. brown sugar
1 egg
1 t. vanilla
1/2 t. salt (if using salted butter, this can be left out)
1 c. flour
1/2 c. white chocolate chips
1/3 c. coconut
1/3 c. nuts (pecans or walnuts)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Line 8x8 baking pan with parchment paper.
Using stove top, put butter in pan and make brown butter (there are lots of great step by step instructions for this online if you have never done it).
Cool to room temp.
Add syrup and sugar, mix.
Add egg, vanilla, salt, mix.
Add flour, mix.
Stir in chips, coconut and nuts.
Bake 25-30 minutes. Test with toothpick. Let cool completely.

Maple Glaze
1/4 c. butter
1/2 c. syrup
1/4 c. brown sugar

Melt butter on stove.
Add syrup and sugar and bring to boil, stirring constantly. Let boil for 2 minutes.
Remove from heat and let cool to room temp.

Cut Blondies (Jughead hat shape is optional) and spoon glaze over.
Its best to only glaze ones you plan to eat right away. Extra glaze can be stored in fridge.



DivisionPost fucked around with this message at Oct 24, 2017 around 15:26

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bagrada
Aug 4, 2007

The Demogorgon is tired of your silly human bickering!



DivisionPost posted:


[*]In response to these revelations, Cheryl Blossom tries to kill herself in the frozen Sweetwater River, but Archie saves her by PUNCHING THROUGH THE loving ICE, JESUS CHRIST.

Fun show. I think Archie is the weakest link but didn't the actor actually break his hand doing the above scene? Props for commitment.

Narcissus1916
Apr 29, 2013


One hell of an OP.

One hell of a first season. As funny and biting as the group scenes can be, its the vulnerability of the 1:1 scenes that hit hard.

Jughead's "We are Not Our Parents." in particular stands out.

JethroMcB
Jan 23, 2004

Dude, calm down. It's not a ghost, it's just music. You can't touch music.

But music can touch you.


bagrada posted:

Fun show. I think Archie is the weakest link but didn't the actor actually break his hand doing the above scene? Props for commitment.

He totally is, and he totally did. The cast was not just a costume choice.



IT'S BACK



So many exciting directions for the show to go in this year. I'm really looking forward to the Hiram/Archie dynamics and Jughead's life on the wrong side of the tracks.

Alehkhs
Oct 6, 2010

The Sorrow of Poets


DivisionPost posted:

Episodes! We get 22 this year; here are the titles of the first 10:
  • 201 – "A Kiss Before Dying"
  • 202 – "Nighthawks"
  • 203 – "The Watcher in the Woods"
  • 204 – "The Town That Dreaded Sundown"
  • 205 – "When a Stranger Calls"
  • 206 – "Death Proof"
  • 207 – "Tales From the Darkside"
  • 208 – "House of the Devil"
  • 209 – "Silent Night, Deadly Night"
  • 210 – "The Blackboard Jungle"

I just wanted to note that Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa has been tweeting out the script "cover art" as each title is announced:

  • 201 – "A Kiss Before Dying"

  • 202 – "Nighthawks"

  • 203 – "The Watcher in the Woods"

  • 204 – "The Town That Dreaded Sundown"

  • 205 – "When a Stranger Calls"

  • 206 – "Death Proof"

  • 207 – "Tales From the Darkside"

  • 208 – "House of the Devil"

  • 209 – "Silent Night, Deadly Night"

  • 210 – "The Blackboard Jungle"

HIJK
Nov 25, 2012

People were stupid, sometimes. They thought the Library was a dangerous place because of all the magical books, which was true enough, but what made it really one of the most dangerous places there could ever be was the simple fact that it was a library.


please be good please be good please be good

Kazinsal
Dec 13, 2011



OH poo poo

Are they simulcasting on CW and Netflix again?

Alehkhs
Oct 6, 2010

The Sorrow of Poets


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM7aCpsYDfE

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

I'll kick yer sorry arse so hard you'll kiss the moons!

Kazinsal posted:

OH poo poo

Are they simulcasting on CW and Netflix again?

I don't know any country that did that last season. If you're non-US and Netflix carries Riverdale, it should be going up around midnight night of (technically the next day).

That's how it works in Canada for the CW shows aired by Netflix instead of Global or w/e anyway.

DivisionPost
Jun 28, 2006

Nobody likes you.
Everybody hates you.
You're gonna lose.

Smile, you fuck.


HOLY poo poo that scene with Cheryl and her Mom.

DoctorWhat
Nov 18, 2011

Someone call the Chancellery Guard. Commander Maxil's out of uniform. AGAIN.

rip ms grundy

JethroMcB
Jan 23, 2004

Dude, calm down. It's not a ghost, it's just music. You can't touch music.

But music can touch you.


DivisionPost posted:

HOLY poo poo that scene with Cheryl and her Mom.

Yeah, that was something else. Cheryl really upped her...Cheryl-ness out of nowhere. Which is something, given that she literally JUST burned down a mansion!

I question having a woman we established as fleeing an abusive relationship being graphically murdered - serial statutory predator status be damned. The shock ending that will soon launch a thousand entertainment blog thinkpieces.

DivisionPost
Jun 28, 2006

Nobody likes you.
Everybody hates you.
You're gonna lose.

Smile, you fuck.


JethroMcB posted:

Yeah, that was something else. Cheryl really upped her...Cheryl-ness out of nowhere. Which is something, given that she literally JUST burned down a mansion!

I was thinking, "Man, it'd be so great if it was never explained why Penelope Blossom was burned from the fire and it was left to our imagination" but I'll take that too!

quote:

I question having a woman we established as fleeing an abusive relationship being graphically murdered - serial statutory predator status be damned. The shock ending that will soon launch a thousand entertainment blog thinkpieces.

That's a good point. It's probably tempered by the fact that she's collateral damage in whatever grudge our killer has with the Andrews family and not murdered by her abuser (that we know of). But it's fair to ask all the same.

Zerilan
Jan 11, 2008


DivisionPost posted:

HOLY poo poo that scene with Cheryl and her Mom.

"what really happened in the barn"

Were we shown something in the prior season's climax that wasn't shown to the others or was that meant to imply there's something about that scene we don't know yet?

DivisionPost
Jun 28, 2006

Nobody likes you.
Everybody hates you.
You're gonna lose.

Smile, you fuck.


Zerilan posted:

"what really happened in the barn"

Were we shown something in the prior season's climax that wasn't shown to the others or was that meant to imply there's something about that scene we don't know yet?

The latter, I think; makes sense because Cliff's death always seemed a little too neat for me. I think Clifford snapped his tether, wanted to blow town, Penelope wouldn't go, there was a fight...and then there was a solution.

bitchymcjones
Mar 23, 2006

Okay, your wiener, it's disgusting how it's all gnarled, it's like you stuck it in a hornet's nest!

Goddammit I love this show. I really shouldn't but I do.

BSam
Nov 24, 2012



so will this show be on netflix at midnight tonight at whatever timezone netflix does that at?

is this in 3 minutes? i hope so

BSam
Nov 24, 2012



BSam posted:

so will this show be on netflix at midnight tonight at whatever timezone netflix does that at?

is this in 3 minutes? i hope so

Yes, it's now on netflix. Thank you.

esperterra
Mar 24, 2010

I'll kick yer sorry arse so hard you'll kiss the moons!

You another Canada goon or elsewhere?

Speaking of which, I should try to get on some CW shows as an extra.

BSam
Nov 24, 2012



Australia

which means netflix shows drop at 6pm usually. it's the good life.

CottonWolf
Jul 20, 2012

Could you imagine the step?
It's genius!


JethroMcB posted:

I question having a woman we established as fleeing an abusive relationship...

I thought we were meant to interpret that purely as a manipulative lie to control Archie?

Fartington Butts
Jan 21, 2007



Five minutes into the episode via the CW Apple TV app and it's off the drat chain.

Jughead's opening narration being present tense and his change of tone was pretty good.

hope and vaseline
Feb 13, 2001



Weirdly enough after seeing Riverdale and Mr. Robot's premieres back to back, I think I prefer Riverdale. Fuckin Cheryl, man. I could watch a whole spinoff just about her.

Sgt. Politeness
Sep 29, 2003

This dildo-factory will see that "Our Way" is the only option, and any mind too small to take it all willingly gets it forced-in with l

When are us Americans going to be able to watch it without cable?

CeeJee
Dec 4, 2001


I love how the staff in the hospital is dressed like they are from the 1940's and that's not even in the top 5 weird things that happened.

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004

EVERY FAIRY TALE NEEDS ITS HERO.

Sgt. Politeness posted:

When are us Americans going to be able to watch it without cable?

http://www.cwtv.com/shows/riverdale/

Not sure how quick after the episode it comes up, but it was there by this morning.

e: vvv drat, I wish my antenna picked up CW. I just get ABC and a bunch of local channels that only play 60s TV shows. Which I completely love.

feedmyleg fucked around with this message at Oct 12, 2017 around 20:45

JethroMcB
Jan 23, 2004

Dude, calm down. It's not a ghost, it's just music. You can't touch music.

But music can touch you.


Sgt. Politeness posted:

When are us Americans going to be able to watch it without cable?

Get yourself an antenna and watch it over the air!

Sgt. Politeness
Sep 29, 2003

This dildo-factory will see that "Our Way" is the only option, and any mind too small to take it all willingly gets it forced-in with l

feedmyleg posted:

http://www.cwtv.com/shows/riverdale/

e: vvv drat, I wish my antenna picked up CW. I just get ABC and a bunch of local channels that only play 60s TV shows. Which I completely love.

Yeah my girlfriend has one and she gets 20 channels, not a single one is standard though.

SereneCrimson
Oct 10, 2007

I am the morning sun, come to vanquish this horrible night!


Cheryl continues to be the most insane and best character. That loving hospital scene!!

HIJK
Nov 25, 2012

People were stupid, sometimes. They thought the Library was a dangerous place because of all the magical books, which was true enough, but what made it really one of the most dangerous places there could ever be was the simple fact that it was a library.


Church scene was awesome, go Veronica go!!!

FRED!!!!!! FRED!!!!!!!! FRED!!!!!!!!

HIJK fucked around with this message at Oct 13, 2017 around 00:24

Shneak
Mar 6, 2015

"Doctor, listen to me and listen to me closely.
You're gonna witness all the days..."


I screamed thinking they were going to write Grundy back in and they killed her off right away

Mameluke
Aug 2, 2013

Girl you know you gotta watch your health


It is so weird to watch Archie & Friends live through something that's almost Hannibal-as-CW drama, but I love it.

Jughead as a budding greaser is amazing as well.

Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

me irl


This show is so dumb. And yet so good because of that...

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004

EVERY FAIRY TALE NEEDS ITS HERO.

The show is in fact smart. About how it plays with being dumb.

crowoutofcontext
Nov 12, 2006



Is there a single non-control-freakish mother in Riverdale??

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004

EVERY FAIRY TALE NEEDS ITS HERO.

Archie's mom seems chill.

Spergatory
Oct 28, 2012


feedmyleg posted:

Archie's mom seems chill.

She's removed from Riverdale and really only checks in when she feels the Drama™ is threatening her son's life. If she were to stick around, I'm sure she'd wind up catching whatever psycho brain-eating prion disease seems to affect the moms of this crazy hosed up town.

DivisionPost
Jun 28, 2006

Nobody likes you.
Everybody hates you.
You're gonna lose.

Smile, you fuck.


Spergatory posted:

She's removed from Riverdale and really only checks in when she feels the Drama™ is threatening her son's life. If she were to stick around, I'm sure she'd wind up catching whatever psycho brain-eating prion disease seems to affect the moms of this crazy hosed up town.

Let’s be fair, here, the dads are just as hosed up save for Fred.

ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004

No whammy, no whammy, no whammy...

I like that they had Juggy eating a burger in the very first episode as opposed to waiting for the last scene of the season like they did last year.

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Lord Krangdar
Oct 23, 2007

These are the secrets of death we teach.


They still never showed what F.P. got Jughead for his birthday, right?

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