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Rex-Goliath
Nov 12, 2016

His Royal Majesty




Rex-Goliath posted:

- who do you work with on a daily basis / describe the day to day role
- how are decisions made / how will [team] be asked to accomplish things / who makes those decisions
- what are the company's primary values? what characteristics are you looking for in a candidate in relation to those primary values?
- what would be expected of me for the first / three / six months? What will success look like in this position, how will it be measured?
- what sort of training/mentoring/career dev things are here
- what's the most impressive thing you've seen out of someone else you've interviewed recently
- What do you see as the most challenging aspect of this job?
- how do you set milestones/deliverables for projects and how does your team react when it's clear they won't be met
- when was the last time you took pto / how much did you take / what did you do

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ThePeavstenator
Dec 18, 2012

Name a good movie that isn't Inception or Fight Club.

Saved from the shadow realm:

Had a 2 hour interview today where I was interviewed by 3 different people.

The first guy was a technical interview and he said my answers were "impressive". That's despite the fact that one of the first questions he asked me was what a base class was in object-oriented programming and I said I wasn't familiar with the concept. He game me a blank stare and then 5 seconds later my mind block cleared and I answered the question. I felt like an idiot, I just usually use "parent" and "child" when talking about inheritance.

Second guy was older and asked me more cultural stuff. He had only been there for a month but was by far my favorite interviewer and seemed like a really cool guy.

Last guy was an alumni from my school from like 15 years ago and asked me a bunch of questions about Scrum and decision making.

Feeling pretty good about this one, especially after my last interview that was a disaster.

Glorgnole
Oct 23, 2012




i bookmarked the version with honest translations

Rex-Goliath posted:

- who do you work with on a daily basis / describe the day to day role

translation : are you working with a well-defined team that puts out consistent work or is this place a clusterfuck with people coming and going on a weekly basis because management is incompetent

- how are decisions made / how will [team] be asked to accomplish things / who makes those decisions

translation: are the people making decisions that impact your work accountable to you / your team and do you have the ability to influence them or are they dictated from on high or even worse forced upon you by a hostile entity

- what are the company's primary values? what characteristics are you looking for in a candidate in relation to those primary values?

translation: if they say 'uhhhhhhhhhh' here it's a red flag. if they throw gibberish at you it's not a red flag but it's not a good look either. this should get a human bean answer

- what would be expected of me for the first / three / six months? What will success look like in this position, how will it be measured?

translation: same as the last one.

- what sort of training/mentoring/career dev things are here

translation: they should also be able to answer this without thinking. if they hesitate or bullshit you it's a red flag

- what's the most impressive thing you've seen out of someone else you've interviewed recently

translation: what qualities are people here impressed with. what caliber of candidates are you also considering.

- What do you see as the most challenging aspect of this job?

translation: every job has some bullshit aspect to it. this is their chance to lay it on softly and your chance to decide if it's a particular brand of bullshit you can put up with

- how do you set milestones/deliverables for projects and how does your team react when it's clear they won't be met

translation: are you going to work me like a slave when we don't hit the deadline we never agreed to

- when was the last time you took pto / how much did you take / what did you do

translation: without fail lovely interviewers for lovely companies will try to deflect this one. if they try to say 'oh no don't worry about that' or respond with their actual pto policy just reiterate that they didn't answer your question. when was the last time YOU took pto

Bloody
Mar 3, 2013



merge request accepted

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011


Bloody posted:

merge request accepted

That reminds me, how is your sister doing?

Cat Face Joe
Feb 20, 2005

but the color's so vibrant
the color's so loud






Doctor Rope

been spending my recent days at work updating the resume

hobbesmaster
Jan 28, 2008



quote:

- what are the company's primary values? what characteristics are you looking for in a candidate in relation to those primary values?

i still have no idea how I’d answer this

Cat Face Joe
Feb 20, 2005

but the color's so vibrant
the color's so loud






Doctor Rope

hobbesmaster posted:

i still have no idea how I’d answer this

get that cash, son

you want that cash, son

MononcQc
May 29, 2007

"I believe I did, Bob."



hobbesmaster posted:

i still have no idea how I’d answer this

https://jocelyngoldfein.com/culture...sh-7e8e75c6543e

quote:

Charles O’Reilly of Stanford GSB came for a workshop and gave us a simple exercise: “Here you all are, VMware’s best and brightest. You’ve built this incredibly successful company, what an achievement! Now, imagine I’m a new hire, a protégé of yours, and I show up in your office on my first day of work, and I ask you ‘So what should I do to get ahead at VMware? What makes people successful here? What made you successful?’”

We filled his whiteboard, at first with the expected: “innovate!” “work hard!” “be open and collaborative!” “work with quality” “attention to detail!” “VMware first — don’t be personally selfish.” With more prompting, and we copped to some of the less self-valorizing truths: “be available on email 24x7!” “sound smart” and “get consensus on your decisions.”

Before you read onwards you might want to try this exercise for yourself, about your own company. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

. . .

When we finished, O’Reilly pointed at the whiteboard with a magician’s flourish: “That’s your culture. Your culture is the behaviors you reward and punish.”

It doesn't make for quite a good hiring story time to tell all of that but welp

JawnV6
Jul 4, 2004


So hot ...

hobbesmaster posted:

i still have no idea how I’d answer this
intel had the 6 values printed on the back of the calendar most folks wore on their badges, your "favorite" one was a security question. would've been trivial for me to answer that back then. i know a couple of the top ones here, and the one that's most meaningful to me personally. can you really not suss out what your current place's values are? look on the frontpage for the mandatory fluff piece about it

the big corp values story that upper execs share is they tylenol tampering vote. CEO discuses their options, either smother the story until they figured out a response OR do a massive recall at great expense. there's a lot of clamoring before the vote, board members talking over each other. the CEO walks over to the wall where their values are printed all fancy and reads every single one, one by one, and calls the vote after. 100%, everyone knows if the company has any pretension to THOSE values, there's only one acceptable response, and that's a recall

Boiled Water
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER


my life has become even more office space-esque. I want to apologize in advance for the format, as it was delivered as two messages using Facebook Messenger for iOS11:

first message:
ughhg there's a work function this evening that I rsvp'ed yes to but found out this morning I can't go to due to going to a koncert with my dad. manager in charge of said function came down to say he was disappointed I didn't tell him earlier since function is pretty expensive

second message:
jeez dude have you seen the things we're pissing money away on? Work function can't be your bikeshedding moment

addendum: manager is not mine, but in line with my manager

Sapozhnik
Jan 2, 2005

no user serviceable parts inside



JawnV6 posted:

intel had the 6 values printed on the back of the calendar most folks wore on their badges, your "favorite" one was a security question. would've been trivial for me to answer that back then. i know a couple of the top ones here, and the one that's most meaningful to me personally. can you really not suss out what your current place's values are? look on the frontpage for the mandatory fluff piece about it

the big corp values story that upper execs share is they tylenol tampering vote. CEO discuses their options, either smother the story until they figured out a response OR do a massive recall at great expense. there's a lot of clamoring before the vote, board members talking over each other. the CEO walks over to the wall where their values are printed all fancy and reads every single one, one by one, and calls the vote after. 100%, everyone knows if the company has any pretension to THOSE values, there's only one acceptable response, and that's a recall

hobbesmaster
Jan 28, 2008



JawnV6 posted:

intel had the 6 values printed on the back of the calendar most folks wore on their badges, your "favorite" one was a security question. would've been trivial for me to answer that back then. i know a couple of the top ones here, and the one that's most meaningful to me personally. can you really not suss out what your current place's values are? look on the frontpage for the mandatory fluff piece about it

the big corp values story that upper execs share is they tylenol tampering vote. CEO discuses their options, either smother the story until they figured out a response OR do a massive recall at great expense. there's a lot of clamoring before the vote, board members talking over each other. the CEO walks over to the wall where their values are printed all fancy and reads every single one, one by one, and calls the vote after. 100%, everyone knows if the company has any pretension to THOSE values, there's only one acceptable response, and that's a recall

but reading off your calendar would could as the bad gibberish reply right

JawnV6
Jul 4, 2004


So hot ...

hobbesmaster posted:

but reading off your calendar would could as the bad gibberish reply right
i meant that the "values" for that organization were present in the IC's daily life and expecting them to pick a "favorite" out of the 6 was a simple request. they're not fumbling for it in that moment, it's been on their hip for the duration of employment and should be easy to recall
understanding the stories that are told about corp values at that level is useful, if only for undermining them

John Big Booty
Jan 31, 2008
Living in the 8th Dimension, things get rough.


Offer letter signed and sent off. 5 hours a day, 15 minutes from my house, no brogrammers, no lovely Keurig in the break room, no dumb faux-graffiti mural and a department-wide contempt for Node.js.

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011


I had a good phone screen for a job I'm about halfway qualified for.

Back to small-shop IT. Better than the stealth help desk my current role is turning into.

Sapozhnik
Jan 2, 2005

no user serviceable parts inside



John Big Booty posted:

Offer letter signed and sent off. 5 hours a day, 15 minutes from my house, no brogrammers, no lovely Keurig in the break room, no dumb faux-graffiti mural and a department-wide contempt for Node.js.



Congratulations on getting hired by adults

Rex-Goliath
Nov 12, 2016

His Royal Majesty



yeah the values thing is more a 'do you actually appreciate what this company does and do you feel like you're more than a cog in a wheel here'

if you're interviewing at a big to gigantic company it's alright if they whiff on this because let's be real you know what you're getting yourself into. if they're medium to small and they don't actually give a gently caress about what they do / seem checked out then it's a red flag.

my last job was ~500 employees and if I'd asked that question while interviewing I would have gotten a 'uhhhhhh' or a cynical chuckle. it loving sucked. compare to my current gig where I actually did ask that to several people and each time their eyes lit up and they told me about something crazy they did that others said was impossible or how much money they saved a customer or whatever.

Displeased Moo Cow
Jun 15, 2009

Office Worker

I applied for a new job today hope I don't get it

John Big Booty
Jan 31, 2008
Living in the 8th Dimension, things get rough.


Sapozhnik posted:

Congratulations on getting hired by adults
It's a nice change of pace. Not one red flag during the process, either.

ratbert90
Feb 12, 2009
JUST FUCKING STOP, JESUS H. CHRIST


First day posting.

qhat
Jul 6, 2015

a meltdown retard



Well I gotta say, node.js is certainly a piece of poo poo

Classical Muzak
May 7, 2007

COME GET SOME


next week I interview a candidate for the first time in my life. this'll be interesting.

anatoliy pltkrvkay
Nov 7, 2011

vibriryuet kak gaiver, teper ya malchik karate.

ThePeavstenator posted:

The first guy was a technical interview and he said my answers were "impressive". That's despite the fact that one of the first questions he asked me was what a base class was in object-oriented programming and I said I wasn't familiar with the concept. He game me a blank stare and then 5 seconds later my mind block cleared and I answered the question. I felt like an idiot, I just usually use "parent" and "child" when talking about inheritance.

honestly, at this point, being able to describe *A* technical concept impresses me. granted, i'm interviewing for support roles rather than straight-up engineering, but I've come to the conclusion that anyone who already understands the technical concepts associated with our industry to agree that they'd be useful in support is applying to sysadmin roles because the same technical knowledge can be used to bullshit your way through a technical operations interview for more figgies. even then, measuring technical competence in the 30 minutes of in-person time we get is a complete crapshoot. Half the candidates we get are technically competent, but due to the nature of their previous employment, have primarily applied that competence to issues related to PLCs or LDAP or gently caress knows what else tech that has no relation to anything we work on day to day. you would think that growing up in an era dominated by the internet and working in internet-based companies would produce a sizeable amount of people at least familar with network technologies, but in actuality most people in the tech industry are about on par with my parents, who treat the internet as voodoo magic that loads facebook somehow.

I ask technical questions on the offchance that I do get a candidate that is interested in and knowledgeable about something relevant to our work, but i've yet to encounter more than one. the candidate who's been most successful after hiring previously worked at a car dealership and had literally no knowledge about anything we work with. He was just motivated and personable.

Mr SuperAwesome
Apr 6, 2011

im from the bad post police, and i'm afraid i have bad news


i'm gonna take a day off next week to apply for jobs because i cant seem to do it in the evenings, and i sure as hell need to get out of this hellhole

Boiled Water
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER


Mr SuperAwesome posted:

i'm gonna take a day off next week to apply for jobs because i cant seem to do it in the evenings, and i sure as hell need to get out of this hellhole

why not do it when on the job?

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch


Boiled Water posted:

why not do it when on the job?

yeah this. might as well, you’re going to take phantom days off for interviews anyway.

Mr SuperAwesome
Apr 6, 2011

im from the bad post police, and i'm afraid i have bad news


i guess im a tiny bit worried about getting seen doing it lol

also im not all that motivated in the office

but hey gently caress it

ratbert90
Feb 12, 2009
JUST FUCKING STOP, JESUS H. CHRIST


I have literally interviewed "programmers" with "5 years of experience" who couldn't pass loving fizzbuzz.

I am not joking.

Boiled Water
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER


Mr SuperAwesome posted:

i guess im a tiny bit worried about getting seen doing it lol

also im not all that motivated in the office

but hey gently caress it

you'd think a terribad office would be the most motivating environment for getting out of said office. If someone see's your open word document what are they gonna say?

Main Paineframe
Oct 27, 2010

just can't seem to shoo away that Schumer

ratbert90 posted:

I have literally interviewed "programmers" with "5 years of experience" who couldn't pass loving fizzbuzz.

I am not joking.

people lie on their resumes and hope they can bullshit their way through the interview

ultravoices
May 10, 2004

You are about to embark on a great journey. Are you ready, my friend?


Main Paineframe posted:

people lie on their resumes and hope they can bullshit their way through the interview

it's how i plan to get hired

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005



Main Paineframe posted:

people lie on their resumes and hope they can bullshit their way through the interview
to be fair, this was rather effective for me in my early career as long as you can learn fast and know how to stay under the radar.

Cat Face Joe
Feb 20, 2005

but the color's so vibrant
the color's so loud






Doctor Rope

Mr SuperAwesome posted:

i guess im a tiny bit worried about getting seen doing it lol

also im not all that motivated in the office

but hey gently caress it

i am in the same situation and i am updating my resume at my desk

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch


ratbert90 posted:

I have literally interviewed "programmers" with "5 years of experience" who couldn't pass loving fizzbuzz.

I am not joking.

I’ve interviewed a guy with 30 years of experience that couldn’t do an equally easy question. there are a lot of people in the software industry that are barely skating by with almost no programming skills.

ratbert90
Feb 12, 2009
JUST FUCKING STOP, JESUS H. CHRIST


The Management posted:

I’ve interviewed a guy with 30 years of experience that couldn’t do an equally easy question. there are a lot of people in the software industry that are barely skating by with almost no programming skills.

When your entire knowledge set is "Copy and paste blindly from stackoverflow/books", this is what you get.

Symbolic Butt
Mar 22, 2009

(_!_)


Buglord

sometimes I wish I was just fired so it'd motivate me to actually send my resume around

Cat Face Joe
Feb 20, 2005

but the color's so vibrant
the color's so loud






Doctor Rope

Symbolic Butt posted:

sometimes I wish I was just fired so it'd motivate me to actually send my resume around

GET OUT OF MY HEAD

Rex-Goliath
Nov 12, 2016

His Royal Majesty



ratbert90 posted:

When your entire knowledge set is "Copy and paste blindly from stackoverflow/books", this is what you get.

well that or all they do is super simple bug fixes or features that are extremely limited in scope. I could definitely see someone falling into a hole where they haven't actually *built* anything for years or decades

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Perplx
Jun 26, 2004


Best viewed on Orgasma Plasma

Lipstick Apathy

my manager quit last week and i'm applying for his job

im pretty reluctant about it but id rater be the manager then be managed by some rear end in a top hat that doesn't know the infrastructure i've help built in the last 5 years, for the small salary bump its barley worth the never ending emails and meetings and i'll have to handle another IT integration, the last one took a year

it will pad my resume nicely though

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