|
|
so much pent-up desire to tell off my boss, but I could never do it. so I found a photo of my boss on facebook, printed out a mask, and put it on fluffy. downed a couple of shots to steady my nerves. petted fluffy a couple of times, then looked her in the eye (or more specifically, the mask's eyes). "you treat me like a jerk," I began. fluffy looked up expectantly. "you must think I'm some kind of chump! you're such a . . . a loving rear end in a top hat to me! you make me do pointless poo poo just because you can!" a few tail twitches from fluffy, a quiet quizzical "mrow?" "well you know what larry? gently caress you. that's right, i said gently caress YOU. you don't own me, you're not the god of me, and as far as I'm concerned you can write those goddam FCS reports over the weekend yourself. I'm not taking any more of your crap, you cocksucker. you motherfucking fatherfucking fartsmelling asslicking shitbrain!!!" I paused to breathe, my face red and flished. there was a moment of silence, then fluffy lifted her fuzzy chin and said, "you're fired."
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2017 20:35
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 17:06 |
|
|
|
the video of Michael Richards at the laugh factory except the audience is a single cat who is being distracted by light diffracting through a window
---------------- |
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2017 15:25
|
|
|
|
little munchkin posted:the video of Michael Richards at the laugh factory except the audience is a single cat who is being distracted by light diffracting through a window |
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2017 03:22
|
|
|
cda posted:Methodically detailing my plans to murder C-List celebrities to my cat because I'm sure she's not listening. Being woken up by the FBI a week later. wtf, cat. If you were concerned you could just have talked to me about it. You never murder C-listers. You want to move down to E or F-list types if you want to get away with it.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2017 05:07
|
|
|
|
Some people are against having outside cats because of the danger to the cat, such as cars, fights with dogs or other cats, getting lost, etc. You may have not considered it, but a huge concern should be people yelling swears at your cat while it is out.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2017 11:33
|
|
|
"NooooOOOOooooooOOOOOO, fatty." I yell into the bullhorn. My cat continues to bump its face against the giant plastic tub holding its food. |
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2017 03:34
|
|
|
I stack three speakers atop one another and angle them at the cat. I point my bullhorn at the microphone, "NOOOOOOO, dummy." I whisper so so softly, "You're a living kibble hole." |
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2017 03:36
|
|
|
|
[in the theme of Fraggle Rock] swearing at my cat *clap clap* swearing at my cat *clap clap*
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2017 10:09
|
|
|
Piso Mojado posted:[in the theme of Fraggle Rock] |
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2017 12:52
|
|
|
|
an arena full of hockey fans are going absolutely bananas. they're yelling, stomping their feet, shaking the glass, etc. i'm standing in the center of the ice, about the say the word "tits" to my cat.
---------------- |
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2017 14:23
|
|
|
|
little munchkin posted:the video of Michael Richards at the laugh factory except the audience is a single cat who is being distracted by light diffracting through a window lmao |
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2017 16:46
|
|
|
|
ShinyBirdTeeth posted:"NooooOOOOooooooOOOOOO, fatty." I yell into the bullhorn. My cat continues to bump its face against the giant plastic tub holding its food. Haha |
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2017 17:59
|
|
|
/me leaves computer desk for 1min oh, hey earl. i'm glad you find my computer chair comfortable, and decided to sit there, again. tell me, is it because you like the residual butt warmth i left behind (that was meant for my butt), or are you doing this out of pure spite? i know you hate me, and guess what motherfucker. i hate you too. but you know what else? i'm not locked in here with you....... you're locked in here, with ME! /me sits on earl, like right on top of that lazy freeloader, good for nothing, loser idiot haha. stupid idiot. this is a prison of your own making. *based on a true story ---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2017 20:37
|
|
| yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. *opens cat food tin* | |
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2017 11:53
|
|
~*
~*
little munchkin posted:an arena full of hockey fans are going absolutely bananas. they're yelling, stomping their feet, shaking the glass, etc. i'm standing in the center of the ice, about the say the word "tits" to my cat. you say "tits" and the cat doesn't respond. the boos begin to crescendo ---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2017 20:20
|
|
|
You fuckin cat fink |
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2017 20:22
|
|
|
|
cda posted:you say "tits" and the cat doesn't respond. the boos begin to crescendo the crowd starts to chant “bullshit”. the cat doesn’t seem to mind, and the refs look impressed |
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2017 22:02
|
|
|
|
---------------- |
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2017 04:50
|
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2017 02:35
|
|
|
|
*cat pushing over the swear jar* |
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 00:07
|
|
|
|
Macnult posted:*cat pushing over the swear jar* |
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 02:49
|
|
|
|
Macnult posted:*cat pushing over the swear jar* "making it hail" on the cat to teach it a lesson while cleaning up cat does not care
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 14:19
|
|
|
Cropduster flies low overhead trailing a banner: "Screw off, Mittens, it's 2 AM" |
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2017 18:32
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 25, 2024 17:06 |
|
|
me: "I SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, SO HELP ME GOD!!!" my cat: "you may be seated" |
|
#
?
Jan 17, 2018 01:04
|
|
