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Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



I moved into a house I'm renting with a very good friend of mine. She has two cats and one of them has become immediately attached to me for some reason. This cat is in love with me and it loving sucks. He's constantly trying to get up on my lap and then he's always sitting on the back of my chair in my office, like, all the time. So any time i want to sit down at my desk, the god drat cat tries to sit on my keyboard and make biscuits on my legs. How the gently caress am i supposed to type my e-mails to bernie sanders when i can't type because there's a cat in the way? Cats shouldn't even be domesticated all animals should be free.

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Uncle at Nintendo
Dec 31, 2000



lol that you still sit at a chair and use a keyboard to type emails

cats are great you goddamn heathen

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

COMFY FLEECE SWEATERS ALT ACCOUNT

Buglord

Keep them away from cat fuckers, such as the many who frequent GBS. Or alternately give them to those posters?

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005


Hell Gem

op gets one of the good cats and complains about it

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



the other cat is cool he just sits on my roommates bed and looks terrified all the time. like a cat should.

Chomp8645
Sep 1, 2006

Don't ever leave me hangin' buddy!

Have you considered simply cooking and eating the cat, OP?

It will not bother any further if you do this. As a side effect, the second cat will be even more terrified than before.

Hibbloes
Jun 9, 2007
Yo

Hell Yeah posted:

all animals should be free.

type your emails. type them.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



he's literally sitting in my lap right now purring like an IDIOT.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

Skaven spotted!


Pet the cat and give it kisses, idiot.

Maya Fey
Jan 22, 2017



cute!

Uncle at Nintendo
Dec 31, 2000



Hell Yeah posted:

he's literally sitting in my lap right now purring like an IDIOT.

pics please

Also you moved into the cat's place, hth

Pawn 17
Dec 17, 2000

expect attention, newbie


My old roommate's cat loved to sit on top of my CRT monitor because it was so warm and then bat at my mouse cursor on the screen. It was annoying, but how could I be mad at something so cute??

Tax Inductions
Jul 9, 2007

I carry refreshments to the good guys
I made the good guys some home fries


cat wants what it can't get. smother it with love until it leaves willingly to get some space. This may take a while :3

Maya Fey
Jan 22, 2017



Pawn 17 posted:

My old roommate's cat loved to sit on top of my CRT monitor because it was so warm and then bat at my mouse cursor on the screen. It was annoying, but how could I be mad at something so cute??

some router manufacturers provide decoy routers so cats dont nap on the real ones

fuck the ROW
Aug 29, 2008


Give him the ole reversal of fortune and slice him into sashimi

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

May your eyes be opened by the wonderful


My cat has caught 3 birds in the past week. First didn't make it. Second was in shock but after I put it outside flew away. Third. Well, third I found torn to shreds.

naem
May 29, 2011



Tax Inductions posted:

cat wants what it can't get. smother it with love until it leaves willingly to get some space. This may take a while :3

This also works on women

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



Tax Inductions posted:

cat wants what it can't get. smother it with love until it leaves willingly to get some space. This may take a while :3

ok just for the record i tried this but it didn't work the cat still constantly tries to get my attention. I can't take a dump without him meowing loudly outside the door until i open it a little and he can come in, and then i'm pooping with the door open like some kind of savage amazonian caveman. it's terribel

Dicky B
Mar 23, 2004



kill the cat but make it look like an accident

Enfield
May 30, 2011

built like a gun

what does "make biscuits" mean

Uncle at Nintendo
Dec 31, 2000



Waltzing Along posted:

My cat has caught 3 birds in the past week. First didn't make it. Second was in shock but after I put it outside flew away. Third. Well, third I found torn to shreds.

Don't let your cats outside, but if you are going to ignore this, get one of these:

https://www.birdsbesafe.com/

it looks ridiculous but it works

Seriously tho there's sick fucks out there; keep your cat in the house if you can

Hell Yeah posted:

I can't take a dump without him meowing loudly outside the door until i open it a little

This is literally every cat ever

Maya Fey
Jan 22, 2017



Hell Yeah posted:

ok just for the record i tried this but it didn't work the cat still constantly tries to get my attention. I can't take a dump without him meowing loudly outside the door until i open it a little and he can come in, and then i'm pooping with the door open like some kind of savage amazonian caveman. it's terribel

imho you're spoiling the cat by catering to its every wish because its just too cute

scrubs season six
Oct 21, 2015


Waltzing Along posted:

My cat has caught 3 birds in the past week. First didn't make it. Second was in shock but after I put it outside flew away. Third. Well, third I found torn to shreds.

This also works on women.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005


Hell Gem

Enfield posted:

what does "make biscuits" mean
kneading
https://i.imgur.com/cFvBveg.mp4

that other cats trying to get a happy ending

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



Maya Fey posted:

imho you're spoiling the cat by catering to its every wish because its just too cute

i can't take a poop with a loudly meowing cat right outside the door. i need privacy when i'm on the toilet

Maya Fey
Jan 22, 2017



Hell Yeah posted:

i can't take a poop with a loudly meowing cat right outside the door. i need privacy when i'm on the toilet

opening the door whilst making GBS threads is the opposite of privacy, in my opinion

Edgar
Sep 9, 2005

Oh my heck!

Toilet Rascal

I have two cats but no roommate in my large empty house


Don't get divorced!

Enfield
May 30, 2011

built like a gun

gary oldmans diary posted:

kneading
https://i.imgur.com/cFvBveg.mp4

that other cats trying to get a happy ending

oh its a baking joke

Maya Fey
Jan 22, 2017



gary oldmans diary posted:

kneading
https://i.imgur.com/cFvBveg.mp4

that other cats trying to get a happy ending

kitty tryna get a handbeezy

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



Edgar posted:

I have two cats but no roommate in my large empty house


Don't get divorced!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005


Hell Gem

Edgar posted:

I have two cats but no roommate in my large empty house


Don't get divorced!
if you got a roommate they would be moving into a place where their roommate has 2 cats

Enfield
May 30, 2011

built like a gun

how droll

Spinster
Jul 15, 2017

Str8 Ballin'


Op is making me horny

Spinster
Jul 15, 2017

Str8 Ballin'


A dude with a kitten or puppy

Irresistible to most women, fyi

Chomp8645
Sep 1, 2006

Don't ever leave me hangin' buddy!

Spinster posted:

Op is making me horny

BloodRed
Apr 21, 2004


I love my cats and quite honestly if someone like, I dunno, shot one with a pellet gun or something I would without hesitation murder that person

thanks for reading

Skypie
Sep 28, 2008

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

One of our cats also likes to hang out on the back of desk chairs. He's a cute lil guy. He's skittish about new people but is super affectionate for us. Despite freaking out when someone knocks on the door, he's actually a little braver than the other cat. The other cat freaks out if you take him outside, but the orange tabby will basically hang out on my shoulder. Sometimes I carry him outside when I gotta get a bag out of the car, and he looks around in amazement.

We don't let them outside cuz we're really close to a busy street. Strictly indoor kitties

Jeff Sichoe posted:

I love my cats and quite honestly if someone like, I dunno, shot one with a pellet gun or something I would without hesitation murder that person

thanks for reading

when I was like 7, the neighbor boys had a BB gun and we thought it would be funny to shoot a stray cat walking down the street. So one of them lined up and then my dad happened to walk outside for something and saw us. My dad was usually pretty calm but he went through the roof on that one, and I'm glad he stopped us from being stupid rear end in a top hat kids

crabcakes dogg
Aug 8, 2017


why does a person have two cats

tell her to choose one or you'll choose it for her

King of Bees
Dec 28, 2012


Gravy Boat 2k

The freedom of animals offends me. I'd have them all in zoos.

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Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

The door blew shut but here's the deal
Dreams are lies, it's the dreaming that's real


even the mighty bee?

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