apple thread v6.1.0: refinanced my mortgage - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > apple thread v6.1.0: refinanced my mortgage

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FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The Management posted:

dumb and awkward and never going to catch on with anyone.

dont sign yuor posts

# ¿ Oct 20, 2017 18:02

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# ¿ Mar 21, 2023 00:31

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

woman visits her dad at apple, sees his iphone x prototype, makes (with his permission) a little video of her using it, and posts it on youtube

https://9to5mac.com/2017/10/24/iphone-x-closeup-hands-on/

yosposters living in or near cupertino may have been awakened this morning by the sonic boom of apple moving to disable dads account access and security badge

FMguru fucked around with this message at 15:16 on Oct 25, 2017

# ¿ Oct 25, 2017 14:46

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

akadajet posted:

MacOS is the nicest operation system to use

true, but it is still a piece of poo poo

# ¿ Oct 27, 2017 15:17

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Poopernickel posted:

install gentoo

# ¿ Oct 27, 2017 20:50

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

hahaha, Gruber is definitely salty about his clique of reviewer friends (and him, possibly) not getting an iPhone X

sorry 50 year old guys... turns out yung youtubers with 3 min videos and half a million followers are way more attractive to marketers than long form 20 page articles, who knew

lol gruber is so salty

saltier than when he switched from "ad blockers are not a problem if you have good content that readers respect" to "gently caress you marco your loving adblocker is blocking my loving ads you fucker"? possibly!

hes learning an important lesson in just where techbloggers rank in the hierarchy of people that 21st century consumer electronics powerhouse apple inc think are important

# ¿ Oct 31, 2017 14:55

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

it is a complete mystery as to why apple wanted the first reviews to be from starry-eyed uncritical enthusiasts and not old fart nerds who will write 1200 words about pixel ratios

# ¿ Oct 31, 2017 14:57

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

guys i am beginning to suspect that apple seeds early review units according to a strategy that will create the most positive buzz about their new product at launch, and not because the recipients "deserve" them or have a journalistic dedication to the truth

# ¿ Oct 31, 2017 15:01

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Astoundingly Ugly Baby posted:

I barely have any idea what Gentoo is, but this is one of my favorite images.

here have the whole set

# ¿ Oct 31, 2017 15:04

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

area man is definitely Not Mad

# ¿ Oct 31, 2017 20:02

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The Management posted:

people are craving in-depth reviews! and they must be on launch day! they can�t wait a few days before every publication and blogger gets their hands on one and then writes their review. apple has a responsibility to serious journalists, not just some ~~bloggers~~ youtubers, only they can ~~get the clicks~~ produce the thorough long form reviews that the public depends on to make their phone buying decisions.

those people who need a complete 17 part technical breakdown of the new iphone are definitely going to buy samsung anroids now because they had to wait an extra couple of days to get some nerds discourse on the individual camera sensors

bad move, apple

# ¿ Oct 31, 2017 20:48

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

gruber is stil salty af

quote:

Because I�ve only had about 24 hours with the iPhone X, I�m in no position to write a review yet.

...

I was far from alone in not getting an extended period of time to test the phone before the review embargo lifted. Here�s what others are saying in their reviews.

...

A thought that crossed my mind this week: What would Apple have done if Walt Mossberg hadn�t retired earlier this year?

# ¿ Nov 1, 2017 03:04

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Matinee posted:

lol ya boi Nilay kicking some stink over FaceID not working outdoors, only to show him waddling around holding the phone down below his loving waist

its a complete mystery why apple gave their first review units to enthusiastic young youtubers and not sour nitpicky nerds

a complete loving mystery

# ¿ Nov 1, 2017 13:36

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The Management posted:

he was hilariously mad about headphone jacks

still is

quote:

There�s no headphone jack, which continues to suck on every phone that omits it, but that�s the price you pay for a bezel-less screen with a notch at the top.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2017 14:12

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

good article (with beautiful photographs) about the new apple campus and jony ive interview

https://www.wallpaper.com/design/jony-ive-apple-park

includes this passage

quote:

The four-storey, 4,000-seat caf� with floor-to-ceiling sliding doors on the right. The kitchen can serve 14,000 lunches a day and the plan is to use as much food grown on site as possible. Steve Jobs was notoriously obsessed with his diet and wanted to provide fresh food for his employees. Apple even has its own fishing boat

# ¿ Nov 10, 2017 21:59

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

cinci zoo sniper posted:

who is small

its u

# ¿ Nov 14, 2017 16:05

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

Tim Cook is busy shoving items up his butt and receiving blood transfusions from 20 year olds

thats not blood

# ¿ Nov 14, 2017 23:09

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Boiled Water posted:

why do you not have one of these then?

he used a macbook once and now he cant scroll any other way and so hes trapped on apple computers until the day he dies

# ¿ Nov 15, 2017 16:15

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

the flesh is weak, poopernickel. only the ~~soul~~ habit of scroll direction is immortal

and yours belongs to me timb

# ¿ Nov 15, 2017 16:18

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Endless Mike posted:

it's really loving ugly if you actually look at it today

but enough about your mirror

# ¿ Nov 16, 2017 21:15

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Last Chance posted:

where[s the defect

its u

# ¿ Nov 20, 2017 22:42

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

poty posted:

was a public tweet to apple support really the best way to disclose this

it was certainly the most entertaining way

# ¿ Nov 28, 2017 20:34

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

eric posted:

lol important people don't sit in an open office. they get a private one.

who was it who said "show me a c-level who proudly has a desk in an open plan office, and ill show you an unbookable conference room nearby"?

# ¿ Nov 28, 2017 22:39

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

lol just got a system notification on my weed sierra machine telling me to install a security patch asap

im sure it got a++ qa testing before being pushed into the wild

e: https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT208315

# ¿ Nov 29, 2017 16:36

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The Management posted:

europeens are weird ~~about credit~~

ftfy

# ¿ Dec 2, 2017 21:20

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Dixie Cretin Seaman posted:

riga has a reputation as a delightful balmy paradise filled with fun, beautiful women. but always stay alert for espionage. a naval commander on shore leave (bit of a ladies' man) was once utterly compromised by a sexy female operative. got him addicted to some weird AR game about putting discs into funnels (wtf?) the horny idiot even shared it with his crew, almost took out his whole ship. somehow he wasn't even reprimanded for his carelessness! ill say this, tho: riga has some amazing sunsets.

hehe

# ¿ Dec 3, 2017 20:39

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

a featureless slab honestly indistinguishable from any other

dsyp!

# ¿ Dec 4, 2017 01:03

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

ted hitler posted:

Blip bloop bloop blip.

your kwinkles impersonation could use some work

# ¿ Dec 4, 2017 07:10

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Bulgakov posted:

fart

# ¿ Dec 12, 2017 04:37

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Kobayashi posted:

SE is the perfect phone

[IMG-triumph-insult-comic-dog.png]

# ¿ Dec 12, 2017 06:27

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

hail osx. praise stebe

# ¿ Dec 20, 2017 23:09

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

qirex posted:

noel lee super regretting sending his idiot son to negotiate with jimmy iovine,

how does the best story in tech manage to keep getting better?

# ¿ Dec 22, 2017 15:22

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

BangersInMyKnickers posted:

There were some reports of burn-in but it seems way too soon for that to be happening and I think those ended up being photoshops

or just defective screens (the sort of thing you see in the first wave of the first batch of a new product where they haven't fine tuned the sourcing and manufacturing and qa process)

# ¿ Dec 27, 2017 18:58

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

when apple built their fancy new flagship waterfront apple store in chicago (the one whose roof is a giant flat macbook air) they apparently didnt consider that in chicago it sometimes snows and icicles form

so the entire area around the store is roped off because its a deathtrap right now

https://www.spudart.org/blog/design-flaw-apple-flagship-store/

lol

# ¿ Dec 28, 2017 23:10

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

poty posted:

i read about palm quite a bit following the gruber post and they really had a high-quality original product. with better marketing they could have gone far

palm was ahead of the game on about three different levels in the early 2000s

the way they poo poo away that lead was truly spectacular

# ¿ Dec 31, 2017 08:04

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Cybernetic Vermin posted:

macos should also have been revised in a much better way, the osx switch was a hugely finicky task because it was so late that they had little choice but to take a very radical approach

apple tried at a resonable time (1988 iirc), but i don't really believe that the failure is a sign that it is not doable, just that they vacillated between too minor updates (what was actually released) and infighting over too unfocused and ambitious projects (pink)

apple had multiple efforts to update the classic mac os - taligent, pink, copland, gershwin. every single one of them ended up in a project death spiral. meanwhile the classic mac os got more and more obsolete and unstable because it was essentially in maintenance mode while everyone was working on the multiple, conflicting, doomed efforts at building its successor

amelio/spindler/late-sculley era apple was an almost unimaginable shitshow in every possible way

# ¿ Dec 31, 2017 18:02

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

when people talk about palm loving itself to death theyre talking about how it managed to fumble away its almost unimaginable lead in the smartphone race by doing things like splitting itself into two companies (hardware and software), which led to huge delays internally (as the corp reorganzied itself), huge brand confusion, and a collapse in their reputation for quality (shipping palm treo phones running winmo5 will do that). eventually they gave up and merged the two companies again (creating delays and further muddling the brand)

palm also demonstrated the first ever netbook (the foleo) and had a potentially huge advantage in that space (when netbooks were the next big hotness) and then they cancelled it before making any

i will give them credit for realizing that the iphone was a game changer and they needed to radically redo their entire product line to meet it, which was unlike microsoft (ballmer openly laughed at it) or rim (thought it was a gyspy illusion, fought back by shipping the storm), and webos is still being borrowed from for its ui. too bad they were out of money and time and market power to make ir successful (those weird-rear end ads didnt help either)

# ¿ Dec 31, 2017 18:14

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

hobbesmaster posted:

amazingly those were actual licensed engineers that hosed that one up

kansas city marriott?

# ¿ Jan 3, 2018 20:01

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

qirex posted:

I understand why amazon has gone with the flea market approach, human labor in retailing is expensive but holy crap they're doing such a bad job

real stores do planograms to place every single item, amazon's like "here's a big pile of stuff, hope you buy something!"

amazons ongoing success is really remarkable given the fact that actual user experience for searching for things and shopping on their website is a complete tire fire

# ¿ Jan 4, 2018 18:03

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

mid-2015 retina mbp supremacy

# ¿ Jan 10, 2018 14:11

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# ¿ Mar 21, 2023 00:31

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Jimmy Carter posted:

oh no a clearly PR-planted story by an adtech company about how Safari�s tracking blocking tech is impacting their revenue stream
cry me a loving river. targeted advertising had its chance to prove it doesn�t suck and all it does is show me ads for �luxury� real estate in my city built by shell corps

lol remember when apple tried to launch its own ad service (iads)

# ¿ Jan 10, 2018 15:33

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > apple thread v6.1.0: refinanced my mortgage

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