- Ace of Baes
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the weird gig economy
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Oct 25, 2017 04:45
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Mar 28, 2024 23:20
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- Ace of Baes
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cleaning bones at the graveyard isn't a cakewalk, but the hours are flexible and my 9 web content streaming services aren't going to pay for themselves
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Oct 25, 2017 04:49
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- Peg Sliderskew
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Oh yeah, I'm self-employed. Couldn't deal with the corporate world and putting up with lovely hours, bosses and pay.
What do I do? Anything the voices tell me really.
Courtesy of Manifisto
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Oct 25, 2017 11:34
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- alnilam
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Me before the gig economy: basically hgetting paid to post at my hourly job
Me after: literally getting paid per post
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Oct 25, 2017 12:35
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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cleaning bones at the graveyard isn't a cakewalk, but the hours are flexible and my 9 web content streaming services aren't going to pay for themselves
Lol
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Oct 25, 2017 13:39
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- Android Blues
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i clap the reins like thunder as i rattle down the roads of Portland in my pony-and-gig. the push of a submenu button in the newest iteration of the Papa John's ® app has loosed a new breed of terror upon this city's pampered elite. a brace of pistols bounces at my hip, and i anticipate the plunder that will weight my debit account once the night's fell work is finished
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Oct 25, 2017 13:53
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- Android Blues
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"away, Bessie!" i holler "they have purchased the optional add-on garlic knots using Papa Points, the sure mark of a refined palate. the headsman's axe would soon keep company with my shoulders were i to assail such a gentle". the yuppies coo and laugh. i sweat under my greasepaint
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Oct 25, 2017 13:54
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- Fredflonston
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"away, Bessie!" i holler "they have purchased the optional add-on garlic knots using Papa Points, the sure mark of a refined palate. the headsman's axe would soon keep company with my shoulders were i to assail such a gentle". the yuppies coo and laugh. i sweat under my greasepaint
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Oct 25, 2017 18:38
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Spiderwebs aren't going to build themselves, OK? And I can take home all the flies I can carry.
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Oct 25, 2017 18:51
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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My new app Daddio puts you in contact with an older gentleman in your area who will look down on your career choices and make awkward, sports-related small talk.
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Oct 25, 2017 18:53
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- Sing Along
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by Athanatos
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it's a hard job, but someone's gotta make pop up installation sculptures out of shaving cream for $10 plus the cost of barbasol and hairspray each
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Oct 25, 2017 19:02
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- alnilam
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developing a platform called Gathr, you can go out any time you like and search for edible foods in the wild, you get to keep anything you find, and there's no set hours or anything you just work as much as you want/need to
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Oct 25, 2017 19:21
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- Sing Along
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by Athanatos
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developing a platform called Gathr, you can go out any time you like and search for edible foods in the wild, you get to keep anything you find, and there's no set hours or anything you just work as much as you want/need to
sounds a lot like Huntr before they had all of those issues with failing to disrupt hunting licenses and bow injuries
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Oct 25, 2017 19:24
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- FactsAreUseless
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I can take you one place, and one place only. The tariff is tuppence, but there will be no return. I do not receive health benefits, and that is why I am a spooky scary skeleton.
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Oct 25, 2017 19:54
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- FactsAreUseless
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I take the pill, and can feel my body changing. My throat is raw, and I cough blood as my vocal cords rearrange themselves. I check my phone again. Yes, I will be well-paid. I arrive at the venue, and enter through a back door. I say nothing, and look like nobody. She is preparing. We don't speak, just share a nod. Her costume is silk and sequins, and she looks like starlight when she moves. I can hear the crowd.
Soon, it is time. She walks onto the stage to a roar that can be felt more than heard, a stimulus that pushes my heart to its breaking point. I focus on everything I have as she - oh SHE! the greatest singer the world has known, legend and star of stars - opens her mouth. I time it perfectly, each vowel and consonant. My voice - her voice, truly her voice, my temporary voice, my borrowed voice - echoes across the arena. I sing for an hour, until I am ragged, but the sound carries me forward. I am, at that moment, beloved and invisible, the paradox where I spend my life.
It is over. I deflate, no, I disappear. My phone buzzes. Four stars. The company - terrible company, but inescapable - will take its share.
But I will eat tonight. I will eat and laugh, with what voice remains to me.
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Oct 25, 2017 20:01
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- wearing a lampshade
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Hey man I just moved here, the only thing I could do was watching dishwashers wash themselves
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Oct 26, 2017 00:04
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- City of Glompton
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Producely connects me with all the excess fruit and veg you neglect to eat. The pay's good but I'll admit I'm a little tired of kale and spotty bananas. Maybe buy some Pink Ladies next time?
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Oct 26, 2017 04:22
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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I spend all day disgruntling and regruntling these seniors, but it makes a big difference in their quality of life.
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Oct 26, 2017 18:30
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- Gumbel2Gumbel
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I generally only do nights and weekends as a Nazi on Twitter but I'll log on for the big Jewish Holidays and Kwanzaa for the surge pricing
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Oct 26, 2017 19:54
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- Gumbel2Gumbel
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As an aside I still cannot believe people support themselves financially by being turds online
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Oct 26, 2017 19:55
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- my new dog
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by Nyc_Tattoo
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some people want their electronics slimed before they even get their hands on them, and i was blessed me bountiful and relentless glands
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Oct 26, 2017 22:56
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- FutonForensic
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I belong to an elite cadre of chaste camgirls, who, for a premium fee, will look on in disgust at the thumbnails that surround us in your web browser
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Oct 27, 2017 04:01
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- little munchkin
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as someone who works odd hours at my primary job, it's nice to be able to hop onto MRDRER whenever I have a few hours free to make a few bucks as an independent contract killer
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Oct 27, 2017 04:29
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- little munchkin
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finally have enough 5-star ratings to be put into premium tier for DogDentifier the phone app where customers upload pictures they take and you tell them whether there's a dog in the picture or not
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Oct 27, 2017 04:35
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- Ace of Baes
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some people want their electronics slimed before they even get their hands on them, and i was blessed me bountiful and relentless glands
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Oct 27, 2017 07:30
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- Sing Along
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by Athanatos
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the selective annihilation of D and F list celebrities to create a vacuum for hollywood hopefuls isnt what you'd call a good gig, but it keeps the light on
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Oct 27, 2017 10:23
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- Android Blues
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I belong to an elite cadre of chaste camgirls, who, for a premium fee, will look on in disgust at the thumbnails that surround us in your web browser
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Oct 27, 2017 11:41
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- my new dog
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by Nyc_Tattoo
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making shapes is hard and not very appreciated, let me guess, you havent heard about the squircle
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Oct 27, 2017 16:23
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- alnilam
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making shapes is hard and not very appreciated, let me guess, you havent heard about the squircle
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Oct 27, 2017 16:26
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- Ace of Baes
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yeah I clean the bird poo poo off of the solar panels on traffic signs, its easy beer money and I can do it while driving for Uber, you don't think they cleaned themselves did you?
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Oct 27, 2017 21:43
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- FutonForensic
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In the dank, forgotten hyperlinks of AngiesList.com, there you will find me: Jigsaw Puzzle Solver. In today's era of algorithms that solve puzzles with cold, calculating cruelty, there is still a discerning class of clientele that demand a human touch.
Maybe you purchased a 2000 piece mosaic of George W. Bush's face that's proven too tricky, or politically objectionable, to finish. I'm your man.
Mayhaps you need someone to solve the puzzle upside down, to fool everyone in thinking that you're one of those cool people with autism that solve puzzles upside down. I've got the spice.
Maymay you lost the last piece to that Norman Rockwell Special Edition. I have a cataloged copy of every piece in that arrangement, as well as every other puzzle ever crafted -- even the construction paper ones you so carelessly threw away after primary school arts & crafts. Do you remember them? I did.
If you have a slide puzzle... no! *Choke* God, n-no! *Wheezing*
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Oct 27, 2017 22:33
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- vanisher
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mE: so, for a fee I will come over to your table or whatever and hit on your date and try to steal her away with me and just make things really awkward and uncomfortable. as soon as I leave, relief will wash over you both, and the date will be smooth sailing from then on.
potential client: that's genius. it must be a little difficult though, pretending to try to walk away with a woman whos on a date with someone else
me: pretending?
lol
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Oct 27, 2017 23:33
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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finally have enough 5-star ratings to be put into premium tier for DogDentifier the phone app where customers upload pictures they take and you tell them whether there's a dog in the picture or not
Not to be confused with DogDenture, the service that fits old dogs with new teeth
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Oct 28, 2017 01:23
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- Adiabatic
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What have you assholes done now?
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a clank reverberates through the hallway, his quarter settling into the bottom of my tin can. i look up at the suit and our eyes meet. his face contorts into an all too familiar look somewhere between pity and disgust. his gait paused, he kneels down and fights from reeling back as my smell hits him.
"son, you had so much talent."
"i know dad, you were right about everything."
"where did i go wrong?"
"you did your best, father. it was my fault. my generation just doesnt understand hard work or the value of a dollar."
"with that quarter you could do something with your life, you know."
"sure dad, i can almost taste the avocado toast"
he scowls, snagging the quarter back as he pivots and stands. he sure-foots to the door, grinning ear to ear, walking up to my boss and extending his hand.
"better than sex, jim. im ready to go again. this time though i want a younger milennial."
gently caress. oh well, plenty more boomers where he came from.
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Oct 28, 2017 06:53
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Mar 28, 2024 23:20
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- Android Blues
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a clank reverberates through the hallway, his quarter settling into the bottom of my tin can. i look up at the suit and our eyes meet. his face contorts into an all too familiar look somewhere between pity and disgust. his gait paused, he kneels down and fights from reeling back as my smell hits him.
"son, you had so much talent."
"i know dad, you were right about everything."
"where did i go wrong?"
"you did your best, father. it was my fault. my generation just doesnt understand hard work or the value of a dollar."
"with that quarter you could do something with your life, you know."
"sure dad, i can almost taste the avocado toast"
he scowls, snagging the quarter back as he pivots and stands. he sure-foots to the door, grinning ear to ear, walking up to my boss and extending his hand.
"better than sex, jim. im ready to go again. this time though i want a younger milennial."
gently caress. oh well, plenty more boomers where he came from.
horrifying
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Oct 28, 2017 12:23
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