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Tiny Lowtax
May 16, 2003

Happy is the one who takes your babies and smashes them against the rocks!
Psalm 137:9


Everyoneís favorite way to waste an hour of their life is back November 7 for season 5!

I have a love/hate relationship with this show. Meaning I hate that I waste so much time watching it knowing Iím going to be disappointed but I love uhhhhhhhh

Curse of Oak Island follows two brothers and their friends as they attempt to find buried treasure in Oak Island, a small elephant shaped island off the coast of Canada. They have dug multiple holes and excavated large areas. Thereís areas they believe are booby trapped.

SPOILERS:

since the start of the show, they really havenít found much. At all. Theyíve spent tons of money excavating and hiring people to try and find treasure. Unfortunately they havenít found really anything. A few random coins, coconut fibers. Some rocks.

They spend 50% of each show telling the same exact history about the Island, 25% talking about some crazy thing that the treasure could be, and 15% actually trying to find things (the other 10% is buried in 10X).

The narrator drives me insane. Whenever a cast member says anything even semi significant, the narrator immediately says ďcould it be?!Ē Followed by whatever the cast member just said. For example:

Marty: ďIíve heard thereís possibly Elvis buried at the bottom of 10xĒ

Narrator: ďCOULD IT BE??!! ELVIS?!! BURIED??!!! AT THE BOTTOM OF 10X??!!!?????Ē


I hate this show and hate that I waste so much time on it. However I watch every single week and I canít explain why. Join me, my friends, and letís discuss!

Tiny Lowtax fucked around with this message at Oct 30, 2017 around 13:01

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LaptopGun
Sep 2, 2006

All I'm going to get out of him is a snappy one-liner and, if I'm real lucky, a brand new nickname.

You forgot the part where the show cuts to stock footage shot in 2014 of treasures that could be buried on Oak Island. Itís especially hilarious when the show depicts several Biblical artifacts using the same shot of the Menorah from Solomonís Temple.

For people who havenít watched the show before, it doesnít take all that long to catch up on developments. The episode recaps are extensive enough you can probably skip some parts and or whole episodes. I caught up with the show in season 2. It didnít take long to pick up what was going on. Plus there are plenty of online resources (like this and previous threads) to explain stuff.

This is apparently a spoiler for the first episode. Frankly the show had to acknowledge it. Itís definitely a segment of the first episode.

Craig Testerís teenaged son Drake died from a medical condition he had. Very sad. I know Tester is not the majority owner of Oak Island, but I wonder if the death in the family gave everyone pause about coming back for a new season. Grieving in public isnít the most comfortable thing to do. Tester doesnít look like heís keeping a low profile this season. http://www.record-eagle.com/news/lo...04399893df.html
http://www.celebeat.com/articles/24...ancellation.htm

LaptopGun fucked around with this message at Nov 6, 2017 around 02:29

Bankok
Sep 10, 2004

SPARTA!!!


This is my one guilty pleasure show on TV, an hour show which really only needs about 12 minutes and Marty trying to advertise for his wine company with his Polo Shirt.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001



I'm as hyped as I can be. Maybe even more hyped than a late mid-aged guy that just found a weird looking rock in some Canadian mud.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001



I know it isn't, but when you see the swamp all flooded out like that, the shoreline does look engineered.

Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008




Toilet Rascal

Could it be?!?!?!?! the season premier of the Curse of Oak Island S5, giving you the wood you want.

mincedgarlic
Jan 4, 2005

I've been blown up, take me to the hospital.


Glad to see metal detector guy Gary Drayton is back. Let The Curse of Next Week begin.

LaptopGun
Sep 2, 2006

All I'm going to get out of him is a snappy one-liner and, if I'm real lucky, a brand new nickname.

I felt really sad to see how devestated Tester and Bagley looked. Canít believe theyíre both doing this TV show. My previous comment that grieving in public as a public individual is uncomfortable. Itís uncomfortable for everyone involved. Was it me or did the show decide to double down on how close the families are by showing a lot of of involvement with Alex and the other Lagina nephew whose name I donít remember? The show thought highly enough of the episode to send him off with Gary Drayton to dig whatever random metal detector spots. Itís not like we saw much of Alex running a digging equipment before either (maybe I forgot he did this before). Could it be Iím just overthinking things?

It must really suck to own an island that you need to transport heavy equipment back and forth over. We know the islands land is hardly the most stable landmass in the world. It looks like all the Laginas can do is construct gravel roads. The harsh winter washe out their gravel road like it wasnít even there. Maybe Canadian laws also prevent them from paving so close to the shore. I know in true Oak Island fashion the show probably spent way to long dwelling on the development. Wonder if this will be a recurring problem during the shows run.

The updated underwater camera sure produced some nice looking videos of C1 looking for the shiny gold thing. It just struck me as odd during both the probe video and the diver video parts of the shaft walls looked shiny gold. Like maybe thatís the shiny gold thing we saw 2 years ago and the Laginas have been chasing ever since.

mincedgarlic
Jan 4, 2005

I've been blown up, take me to the hospital.


LaptopGun posted:

I felt really sad to see how devestated Tester and Bagley looked. Canít believe theyíre both doing this TV show. My previous comment that grieving in public as a public individual is uncomfortable. Itís uncomfortable for everyone involved. Was it me or did the show decide to double down on how close the families are by showing a lot of of involvement with Alex and the other Lagina nephew whose name I donít remember? The show thought highly enough of the episode to send him off with Gary Drayton to dig whatever random metal detector spots. Itís not like we saw much of Alex running a digging equipment before either (maybe I forgot he did this before). Could it be Iím just overthinking things?

It must really suck to own an island that you need to transport heavy equipment back and forth over. We know the islands land is hardly the most stable landmass in the world. It looks like all the Laginas can do is construct gravel roads. The harsh winter washe out their gravel road like it wasnít even there. Maybe Canadian laws also prevent them from paving so close to the shore. I know in true Oak Island fashion the show probably spent way to long dwelling on the development. Wonder if this will be a recurring problem during the shows run.

The updated underwater camera sure produced some nice looking videos of C1 looking for the shiny gold thing. It just struck me as odd during both the probe video and the diver video parts of the shaft walls looked shiny gold. Like maybe thatís the shiny gold thing we saw 2 years ago and the Laginas have been chasing ever since.

That was tough to watch. Tester looked quite understandably broken.

The video quality was pretty great. I hope we get to see more like that but the whole silt thing seems to make it impossible.

Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008




Toilet Rascal

All right we have hit peak filler episode time. I fell asleep during the premiere and plan on doing the same tonight.

LaptopGun
Sep 2, 2006

All I'm going to get out of him is a snappy one-liner and, if I'm real lucky, a brand new nickname.

Some of Gary Draytonís metal-detecting exploits tread dangerously into filler territory. The British army camp investigation was interesting but do we really think Oak Island was some military project? That also touches on an idea others have pointed out: was whatever hidden treasure already been found? We met those 3 sisters who claimed family stories said their ancestor (1 of the group who first stumbled on the money pit) already found all the treasure. That freed slave and British army veteran who bought a bunch of plots of land and local accounts said mysteriously earned way more money than seemed possible at the time. That would be an anticlimactic ending for the Oak Island answer to be itís already gone.

Edit
To add now that the episode started, Iíd forgotten how much Iíd laugh at the Laginas and Tester when they ask incredibly leading questions to the experts theyíd see. Seriously laughing at Tester for trying to get the scanning electron microscope scientists to go beyond their analysis of the spike.

Edit 2
Weíre also overdue for a Kights Templar reference or theory.

LaptopGun fucked around with this message at Nov 15, 2017 around 02:20

el oso
Feb 18, 2005

phew, for a minute there i lost myself


I hate how much time I've wasted on this show and its endless tiny discoveries and absurdly far-fetched theorizing, yet I can't stop watching it.

The narrator might be the biggest TV villain of all time. Villain? Of all time??

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001



LaptopGun posted:

Some of Gary Draytonís metal-detecting exploits tread dangerously into filler territory. The British army camp investigation was interesting but do we really think Oak Island was some military project? That also touches on an idea others have pointed out: was whatever hidden treasure already been found? We met those 3 sisters who claimed family stories said their ancestor (1 of the group who first stumbled on the money pit) already found all the treasure. That freed slave and British army veteran who bought a bunch of plots of land and local accounts said mysteriously earned way more money than seemed possible at the time. That would be an anticlimactic ending for the Oak Island answer to be itís already gone.

This comes up so much and it drives me crazy. They keep talking to people that either imply or outright state someone got there first, but no one actually says "poo poo, what if there's nothing to find because of what we just heard?"

If you make the assumption that there was a hole in the first place and there was money inside the hole and that it was recently constructed in the 1780-1790 window, then it almost has to be somehow tied to the Royal Navy or British Army. There weren't a whole lot of people hanging around North America with the combination of technical skill, manpower, or hypothetical motivation to undertake such a project other than those two bodies (and their American equivalents (and why would they bury something in British Canada?)).

Quisty
Apr 10, 2008

I like to pinch.


el oso posted:

I hate how much time I've wasted on this show and its endless tiny discoveries and absurdly far-fetched theorizing, yet I can't stop watching it.

The narrator might be the biggest TV villain of all time. Villain? Of all time??

There's gotta be a drinking game associated with this show. Every time he says, "Could it be??", take a drink.

Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008




Toilet Rascal

It is almost certain that whatever treasure was there has been found or never existed. Anyone with the resources to dig a 200 foot deep hole in a flood island would not have to do so to protect treasure. The message stone is a fake or never existed. Could it be? A treasure hunting investment scam on Oak Island for hundreds of years. How can this scam keep working over and over?

Tiny Lowtax
May 16, 2003

Happy is the one who takes your babies and smashes them against the rocks!
Psalm 137:9


It was found by that ex slave who somehow became rich.

I havenít watched an episode yet this season, yet somehow I feel like I havenít missed a single thing.

sunnyboy
May 10, 2011

Hawkmen Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!


This is a show that the PVR was designed for watching. The only way to view an "episode" is to fast-spin through all the filler until they actually DO something (like drilling the grid of test holes). The rest, ESPECIALLY the dude with the metal detector, is just so much filler. I find the hour episodes (45-50min without commercials) reduces to about 5-10min MAX after filler is spun-through.

The only thing that annoys me about the show is the way they got all their ideas and execution from watching Roadrunner & Coyote cartoons. I call it the "ACME" show now, because they try some idea exactly ONE TIME and then give up.

Like a diver down a hole ONCE. Give up. Next season, a different diver down a hole ONCE and give up. Giving up is what they seem to do best, although starting something at like 1pm and working for 1 hour then saying "Welp, time to call it a day" (in bright sunshine) is pretty good for a laugh as well.

The only other comment I have for now is why, why, WHY? are they looking for that "shiny gold object"? They saw it in the wall of a 6in bore hole. Now they've expanded the hole to be large enough for a diver (and cased) and think it's still in the wall somewhere? If there was anything at all, it should either have been in the bigger hole's tailings, or at the bottom buried in muck. COULD IT BE... (fill in the inevitable blank in narrator's voice). :-D

Vakal
May 11, 2008



Elephanthead posted:

How can this scam keep working over and over?

The Nova Scotia tourism board has probably made more over the years than will ever come out of that pit.

Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008




Toilet Rascal

This weeks episode finally gave us a boner, Could it be? The physical body of Christ on Oak Island! Tune in next week.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001



I got someone to watch exactly five episodes of the show and without prompting or explaining anything, I asked her what she thought. Verbatim answer: so those McGinnis guys and the slave already found the treasure, right?

Vakal
May 11, 2008



Sash! posted:

Verbatim answer: so those McGinnis guys and the slave already found the treasure, right?

Yes, if the real treasure was the memories they made along the way.

LaptopGun
Sep 2, 2006

All I'm going to get out of him is a snappy one-liner and, if I'm real lucky, a brand new nickname.

This seasons efforts do seem more organized than they have in the past. The Laginas have a (ever changing) grid plan of holes to dig more or less reasonable sized holes instead of picking random spots to drill giant rear end boreholes. Maybe they should have tried the Geotech guys first before last years army of diggers

mincedgarlic
Jan 4, 2005

I've been blown up, take me to the hospital.


LaptopGun posted:

This seasons efforts do seem more organized than they have in the past. The Laginas have a (ever changing) grid plan of holes to dig more or less reasonable sized holes instead of picking random spots to drill giant rear end boreholes. Maybe they should have tried the Geotech guys first before last years army of diggers

Tonight was a good episode and geotech approach seems to be helping.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001



The bones came from two different people so clearly it is Hitler and Eva Braun.

el oso
Feb 18, 2005

phew, for a minute there i lost myself


Hitler? On Oak Island?? Are brothers Rick....and Marty Lagina.....and their team, one step closer to solving the mystery of Oak Island??????

Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008




Toilet Rascal

The real treasure was the love of the brothers that saved the one from a tick bite.

mincedgarlic
Jan 4, 2005

I've been blown up, take me to the hospital.


el oso posted:

Hitler? On Oak Island?? Are brothers Rick....and Marty Lagina.....and their team, one step closer to solving the mystery of Oak Island??????

One step closer but not if the Archeologist Cartel has anything to say about it. Theyíre still trying to shut this thing down and everyone knows the archeologists are just a front for the Illuminati. Connect the dots. Showís over.

LaptopGun
Sep 2, 2006

All I'm going to get out of him is a snappy one-liner and, if I'm real lucky, a brand new nickname.

Anyone else find it a little surprising the government allowed a big excavation of an area with confirmed human remains? Perhaps Iím mistaken, but isnít that just the sort of thing the mandated archeologist is supposed to run. Not the GeoTech reps and engineers.

Edit now that tonightís episode has started

Remember when I wondered if the lack of Knights Templar references meant the show was trying to be more plausible? Yeah I was wrong. The Laginas are back on the Knights Templar bandwagon

LaptopGun fucked around with this message at Jan 3, 2018 around 02:28

TheDon01
Mar 8, 2009




Lol they're all hopped up about finding "Middle Eastern" human DNA on site.

That's totally some regular rear end Spaniard sailor

LaptopGun
Sep 2, 2006

All I'm going to get out of him is a snappy one-liner and, if I'm real lucky, a brand new nickname.

TheDon01 posted:

Lol they're all hopped up about finding "Middle Eastern" human DNA on site.

That's totally some regular rear end Spaniard sailor

Thatís a very astute observation. Muslim rulers and culture controlled a decent sized chunk of Spain for a while. Weíre no biologists here but ďSpanish sailor with ancestors from the Middle EastĒ might be a tad more reasonable interpretation than ďlong lost Crusader king.Ē Or at least more common in Eastern Canada.

sunnyboy
May 10, 2011

Hawkmen Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!


So the latest episode... 2 min of "we're settin' up the caisson drill again", followed by 40 min of utter dribble (fast spin thru pvr) then 2 min of "let's start 'er up" (the caisson drill) followed by coming next week (nuthin... maybe 2 more min of the drill vibrating).

I'm waiting for them to discover "proof" that the "boys from Brazil" set up shop on the island and the concrete thing was actually a bunker/lab for the glorious leader.

Tiny Lowtax
May 16, 2003

Happy is the one who takes your babies and smashes them against the rocks!
Psalm 137:9


Letís pretend I havenít watched a single episode except the first one this season. Is there really any reason for me to watch the rest?

TheDon01
Mar 8, 2009




Tiny Lowtax posted:

Let’s pretend I haven’t watched a single episode except the first one this season. Is there really any reason for me to watch the rest?

Not unless you wanna watch like 30hrs of a few rich idiots spend gobs of money on drilling and diving equipment.

Edit: oh this season, 8hrs then.

TheDon01 fucked around with this message at Jan 9, 2018 around 23:44

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001



I'm waiting for one of them to have a vision in a dream, which is then recreated with the cast of Knightfall, for perfect synergistic cross-promotion

joebuddah
Jan 30, 2005


They updated the intro! Now they have found a chain,a tablet, Spanish coins and human bones.

Also I think the announcer is the same guy from ancient aliens

Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008




Toilet Rascal

I watched the last 3 episodes yesterday and I am measurably dumber for it.

sunnyboy
May 10, 2011

Hawkmen Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!


Elephanthead posted:

I watched the last 3 episodes yesterday and I am measurably dumber for it.

I watched the first several seasons before starting to skim episodes. I'm now dumber than a politician.

beejay
Apr 7, 2002



Toilet Rascal

joebuddah posted:

They updated the intro! Now they have found a chain,a tablet, Spanish coins and human bones.

Also I think the announcer is the same guy from ancient aliens

It totally is. Ancient Astronaut Theorists say the Earth was built by giant space dragons... could it be??!??!

Edit: Apparently he voices Jim Raynor in Starcraft and Heroes of the Storm too. Weird.

beejay fucked around with this message at Jan 13, 2018 around 21:59

MOVIE MAJICK
Jan 4, 2012



Is this a good show to watch if you like history?

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Tiny Lowtax
May 16, 2003

Happy is the one who takes your babies and smashes them against the rocks!
Psalm 137:9


MOVIE MAJICK posted:

Is this a good show to watch if you like history?

History, The channel? Sure.

Actual history as in events that have occurred, and that you may learn things from? Lmao

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