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rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


I'm still of the opinion the pie will be worse. loving gelatin and tuna? That's like puke in a crust.

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rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


I literally yelled "NO." I don't even know why it hit me so viscerally. It has to be the surprise factor. Dude was always one of my favorites.

Also that Johan/Doc comparison is... something else. Can we just compromise and say best RHP and LHP?

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Paul Zuvella posted:

what the gently caress is this lmao

Man with ironic thoughts and prayers twitter handle mad organization didnt offer thoughts and prayers quickly enough

Hello I think you're critiquing a literal bot.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Carlosologist posted:

what's on everyone's offseason wishlist?

Twins starting pitching, just like every loving year since 2011.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Der Meister posted:

Lol @ this loving thread. God please deliver us from off-season hell.

88 more days!

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Intruder posted:

Look at this nazi

Hey man I don't make up the numbers I just report 'em.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Intruder posted:

hello friends



Did they just go "throw everything green into it and then add some gelatin, too"?

I mean that's basically a smoothie. With tuna. (This is a similar sentiment to pepper spray being "essentially a food product.")

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


It looks like it's already been barfed up for you.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


The longer that goes on the more you're clearly regretting this one. Like the bananas you were just cruising along and eating it and not really complaining at all, but your face in this is clearly out of fucks on this by minute twelve.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE



a thousand words, all of them "why??"

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE



I wish he'd asked for 4000 brown M&Ms, too. That's a solid request and anyone that does it right should have a fair shot.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


bawfuls posted:

It is cool as hell that teams are having to essentially grovel before Ohtani

It's not even really groveling, to be honest. He knows his value, he knows he's not going to get what he's worth, so why not make it a proper job interview with a benefits/perks package? He's probably going to make more for his city than Amazon's new HQ would.

And honestly, providing Japanese and English responses would be good form for a team anyway. If they're trying to attract foreign talent, make at least the bare minimum effort to communicate.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Sydin posted:

As much as I'd love for the Cubs to sign Ichiro as their fourth OF because who wouldn't want Ichiro on their team, him returning to Seattle would be :unsmith: as hell.

I still need to scrounge up money for an eye-bleeding orange Ichiro Marlins jersey.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


I still love that for loving YEARS I thought they were the Ham Fighters of Nippon rather than the Fighters of Nippon Ham.

I guess that what happens when you’re an ignorant shithead!

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Popete posted:

Wow thanks for coming in and ruining this for the rest of us.

I’m positive someone on some iteration of this thread killed the dream for me.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE



And/or the Giants, because that's the dumbest goddamn thing I've ever seen.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Spoeank posted:

But they act like the press conference is just for one and at the end BOOM the other comes out.

BAW GAWD THAT'S STANTON'S MUSIC

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Angry Grimace posted:

This dude is motivated by some sort of mystery thing.

Yes, being in an environment in which he is valued and allowed to flourish. I realize this is weird in the setting of professional sports, where labor is still treated as capital akin to factory robots rather than human beings, but the dude just wants to go somewhere where he gets a chance and actually wants to live. That's no more mysterious than anyone else in the world.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Angry Grimace posted:

I mean you won’t be sad having the bonus money and the Twins are making out like bandits.

God I can't imagine something clever happening in the Smith/Ryan days.

Thank sweet baseball Jesus.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Mike_V posted:

The Cardinals are gonna sign Yu Darvish aren't they.

God I hope not. He’s too beautiful for them.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Popete posted:

lol, poor Jeets.

I hope Stanton gets him a fruit basket.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Inspector_666 posted:

Buster makes is sound like the O's haven't really drawn a line in the sand regarding the Yankees.

https://twitter.com/Buster_ESPN/status/940722234750054401

(Get it done Cash!)

...are the White Sox assuming they're going to be competing this year?

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


I can name a few Padres dudes, but that's because I saw them in Single-A. Pretty sure I saw Trea Turner play one single game.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


elentar posted:

All the players should get extremely basic room and board in exchange for the privilege of playing sports and the thrill of seeing their names and likenesses being used by doughy morons nationwide. Also if they get hurt they can gently caress off forever. (/Mark Emmert)

This is literally what minors players get.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Der Meister posted:

Who on earth would buy Marlins season tickets? I mean there are only so many law firms and banks.

Someone independently wealthy that lives in Miami? Seems... pretty obvious. I mean I considered buying season tickets to a loving Single-A team at one point and I *don't* have shitloads of money at my disposal.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Sydin posted:

The Cubs, Twins, and Astros are apparently in fairly hard on Darvish, the Rangers are in the mix too albeit less so, and the Dodgers/Yankees are reportedly kicking the tires to see if they can get him to drop his price low enough to for them to stay under the tax this year.

I could have sworn someone mentioning the Twins were in on Cole, too, but there’s no way they compete with the Yankees.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Comptroll The Forums posted:

homer_simpson_yelling_neeeeeeeerds.wmv

Nobody tell him we have a goon-based ootp dynasties.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Twin Cinema posted:

The best game of CAH I have ever played, and this is a game I normally don't like playing, was with two groups that didn't really know one another. One of the guys from the other group became increasingly frustrated when his answers weren't being picked by members from our group, and finally just yelled out, "WHAT THE gently caress DO YOU EVEN FIND FUNNY?"

It almost always devolves into well-thought-out Ironic Racism vs. Monkey Cheese, even in groups with relatively decent senses of humor.

My biggest problem is that I tend to sit with 6-8 dead/edge case cards in my hand that are only funny (even in a monkey cheese way) in really specific cases or only make syntactic sense in black cards of a certain construction. So the grammar nerd/writer part of me gets frustrated.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Hand Row posted:

They do dollar hot dog night all the time. The more fun challenge is eating the cycle by eating each type of sausage.

Might have to drive up for one of those Cubs pseudo-home games.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Son of a bitch.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Crazy Ted posted:

He's not getting cut. I'd imagine a 30-game suspension will be on order, though. Aroldis Chapman got 30 for a situation in which someone could have easily wound up dead, so I can't imagine him getting more than that, with counseling ordered on top of it.

Honestly I’d accept that as a fan if he complies and is not a repeat offender. And maybe even moves into advocacy/activism.

Something tells me he’s gonna fight it to the end though.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


El Snatcho.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


patonthebach posted:

So someone that stole signs when they were on 2nd base shouldn't make it in either? How about Tom Brady? Should the best player at his position in the history of the sport not make it in because he might have de-juiced some footballs?

Tom Brady shouldn't be in because he's Tom Brady.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE



So how's about amphetamines?

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


mikeraskol posted:

You seem very upset with Dodgers, Yankees and Red Sox fans.

It's more that apparently labor relations don't matter if you're one of the 700ish guys that manages to be a MLB player each year, because it stops mattering once you're arbitrarily rich.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Angry Grimace posted:

Fans don't actually care about labor relations.

Fans (in the general sense) may not, but the owners sure as poo poo do. And since they're the independently-wealthy individuals who sign the checks at the end of the day, how they construct their budgets matters to them and the 29 other ownership groups.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Something something child's game.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE



loving Santana is getting bounced in his first year and this makes me irrationally angry.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


The thing that really seemed interesting to me was when we ran the comparison to his peak and Halladay’s peak after Halladay’s death. They were pretty similar in that they basically could both be considered the best pitcher in baseball at any given moment, but Santana’s shoulder exploded and that was it. Even after his first comeback he was Very Good until the No Hitter and he fell all the way apart.

Now he has an image of being a glass cannon at the end rather than a dominant pitcher for the better part of a decade. If he had like two more years of Very Good he’d probably be a lock. I mean, if dudes submitted full ballots.

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rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Looks like Morneau has finally given up on finding a team and is going to be another Special Assistant for the Twins. Glad we have him back in some capacity. My sweet Canadian baby.

http://m.startribune.com/justin-morneau-hired-by-twins-for-front-office-job/468462233/

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