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Casnorf
Jun 14, 2002

Never drive a car when you're a fish
Name: Jonathan Cameron
DOB: 07-04
Height/Weight: 6'6"/350lb
Throws/Bats: R/L
Position: CF
Country/City of birth: Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Background: high school prospect

Player profile: Born on the bayou, Jonathan caused quite a commotion on his after-school team, the Travelin' Band. His towering home runs might've looked like a bad moon rising to the Porterville boys, soaring into the green river, but they made his mother proud. Mary would say, "I was lookin' out my back door when it came out of the sky. Who could ask for a more fortunate son?" Don't look now, but Jonathan might be a sort of Adam Dunn in effigy, and his prodigious power seems to have a sinister purpose, but out in centerfield he looks like he's making a run through the jungle. Still, his excellent discipline shouldn't leave him looking door to door for a job.

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Ambassador of Funk
Aug 2, 2009

Whenever I'm put to the test, I'm gonna ace it.

Grittybeard posted:

Name: Larry Leftball
DOB: 4/22
Height/Weight: 6'1", 240lb. Same as Bo but with all that weight in exactly the wrong places.
Throws/Bats: L/L
Position: SP
Country/City of birth: San Francisco, CA
Background: college prospect

Player profile: Larry grew up idolizing post-40 Jamie Moyer and Bruce Chen. 'Fast'ball, cutter, sinker, change, curve, preferably all with good movement/control and little velocity.

(I don't know how OOTP handles pitch types, if having 5 pitches is going to nerf the hell out of him go Fastball, Change, Curve, Cutter, Sinker in that order with however many makes sense)

I hope Get Money and Leftball end up forming the grittiest, most white bread team imaginable.

Mr. Fix It
Oct 26, 2000

💀ayyy💀


Name: William "Willie X" Eckstein-Bloomquist
DOB: January 20
Height/Weight: 5'7" 165lbs
Throws/Bats: R/S
Position: GRITILITY (2B/SS/OF/Whatever)
Country/City of birth: Tallahassee, Florida
Background: highschool prospect

Player profile: Product of a BALCO/Biogenesis project to create the grittiest player possible, Willie X is spawned from the purified geneseed of Hall of Grittiness members David Eckstein and Willie Bloomquist. What he lacks in ability, he more than makes up for in heart, spirit, clutch, calmeyes, and, of course, grit. Has a really hot girlfriend, so you know he's gonna go far.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

Ambassador of Funk posted:

I hope Get Money and Leftball end up forming the grittiest, most white bread team imaginable.

I'm hoping for this now too since I read up on your guy.

It's a shame we won't be able to play with Eckstein (quick Bewbies, reset the time period to ~2000).

Ammat The Ankh
Sep 7, 2010

Now, attempt to defeat me!
And I shall become a living legend!
Name: Jack Worthy
DOB: 5/9
Height/Weight: 5'11'' 182 lbs
Throws/Bats: R/R
Position: OF
Country/City of birth: Berkeley, California
Background: High School prospect

Player profile: gently caress strikeouts. Jack's here to make contact. Barrel on the ball baby. He has a good enough eye to not chase junk out of the strikezone, and will take a walk (would prefer a hit though). His high-contact, low strikeout play at Berkeley High School (The Only High School In Berkeley™) has got him noticed by scouts. Unfortunately, questions remain about his defensive ability, with many pegging him as a future 1B/DH.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


Sure, why the hell not.

Name: Bike Snout
DOB: 10/15
Height/Weight: 6'1" 215lbs.
Throws/Bats: R/L
Position: utility/OF
Country/City of birth: Waterloo, IA
Background: college prospect

Player profile: The absolutely most generic player one could imagine, plays pretty much any position competently, but none with any particular flair or talent. His main standout ability is a cannon arm. An all-round good guy who prefers to keep to himself for the most part and Plays the Game the Right Way. Just Loves Baseball. His comps are mostly journeyman dudes you can name but aren't particularly noteworthy: Cuddyer, Ibanez, Melky Cabrera, maybe if you squint a little you can see Zobrist. At the plate he's selective and projects to consistently get 15-20 dingers a season.

Just fast enough to get where he needs to, will steal a bag if the situation is right, and knows his range and can usually be in the right place at the right time in the field. Makes up for a lot of his deficiencies with, again, a ridiculous arm.

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe

The Berzerker posted:

Name: Sleve McDichael
DOB: June 17
Height/Weight: 6'1", 205lbs
Throws/Bats: Left/Right
Position: 3B
Birthplace: Ottawa ON Canada
Background: College Prospect

Player profile: Think Evan Longoria defensively, but a bit worse at the plate (more strikeouts)

This poo poo was melting my loving brain for like half an hour. WHY WONT IT RATE HIM AT THIRD BASE

Oh, he's left handed.

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe
2017 MLB Season
League Website HERE

World Series Champions: Washington Nationals
AL Pennant: Cleveland Indians
NL Pennant: Washington Nationals

AL MVP: Mike Trout (monster drat season)
NL MVP: Kris Bryant

AL Cy Young: Chris Archer
NL Cy Young: Clayton Kershaw


BREAKING NEWS
The AL has eliminated the DH. (note: I did not have anything to do with this: it was the game "evolving". If we want to undo this, let me know)

Goon player news:
2017 Draft Log Here, most of your guys can be found there.
Boston Corbett makes the MLB roster straight out of college! (this rarely happens)
Waldo Dirgler goes 1st overall and promptly suffers severe back injury
Boon Doggle goes 3rd overall, doesn't sign


Wacky Bradley Sr. Injury tracker:
07/10/2017 Injured (Strained abdominal muscle), day-to-day for one week.
07/22/2017 Injured (Back spasms), day-to-day for 3 days.
08/05/2017 Injured (Bruised toe), day-to-day for 1 day.
08/10/2017 Injured (Back spasms), day-to-day for 2 days.
09/10/2017 Injured on 09/06/2017, diagnosed with chronic back soreness, will miss 4-5 weeks.



GOON TRACKER (to be uploaded):


Take a look at your players, let us know where you were drafted, where you're playing now, how you've done, etc etc. Also feel free to comb through the league files for anything else interesting.

I will get the 2018 cohort written in this weekend sometime and sim through 2018; then I'll get into the normal routine.

I'll put up the 2017 Hall of Fame ballot for GOON VOTING later today.

note: as of 9am central, league files still uploading, will take a while. Stuff might be wonky until then.

bewbies fucked around with this message at 15:01 on Nov 4, 2017

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

bewbies posted:

This poo poo was melting my loving brain for like half an hour. WHY WONT IT RATE HIM AT THIRD BASE

Oh, he's left handed.

That shouldn't matter, are you sure you gave him experience at the position? Someone could have an 80 skill somewhere but if they have zero experience there the game still won't rate them.

Also I looked around and couldn't find Hanzo Main, can you link him?

Zigmidge
May 12, 2002

Exsqueeze me, why the sour face? I'm here to lemon aid you. Let's juice it.

bewbies posted:

Wacky Bradley Sr. Injury tracker:
07/10/2017 Injured (Strained abdominal muscle), day-to-day for one week.
07/22/2017 Injured (Back spasms), day-to-day for 3 days.
08/05/2017 Injured (Bruised toe), day-to-day for 1 day.
08/10/2017 Injured (Back spasms), day-to-day for 2 days.
09/10/2017 Injured on 09/06/2017, diagnosed with chronic back soreness, will miss 4-5 weeks.

:lol:

The girl is going to love this. A 400000$ signing bonus for a player who will gather more bed sores than games played.

Blue Jays lost Sanchez for 11 months to injury as well as Osuna and Tepera. With no depth whatsoever, Liriano is allowed to accrue 9 whole wins!

Zigmidge fucked around with this message at 15:21 on Nov 4, 2017

Poque
Sep 11, 2003

=^-^=

bewbies posted:

2017 MLB Season
League Website HERE

I'm laughing so much at the Red Sox going 3-16 against the Yankees and the Rockies going 1-18 against the Dodgers. Also Darvish threw a perfect game against Oakland and Garrett Richards threw a 10 inning CGSO against the White Sox.

Bayham Badger
Jan 19, 2007

Secretly force socialism, communism and imperialism types of government onto the people of the United States of America.

bewbies posted:


BREAKING NEWS
The AL has eliminated the DH. (note: I did not have anything to do with this: it was the game "evolving". If we want to undo this, let me know)


:bisonyes:

Bayham Badger
Jan 19, 2007

Secretly force socialism, communism and imperialism types of government onto the people of the United States of America.

IcePhoenix posted:

That shouldn't matter, are you sure you gave him experience at the position? Someone could have an 80 skill somewhere but if they have zero experience there the game still won't rate them.

Also I looked around and couldn't find Hanzo Main, can you link him?

Here ya go.

Also, I found my angry boy, playing for the Hanshin Tigers. I hope he gets a little less angry, and a little better.

Worthleast
Nov 25, 2012

Possibly the only speedboat jumps I've planned

Round 11, Pick 4 - Tampa Bay Rays: C Tres True (325th overall pick)

Winner of the 2017 APP Most Valuable Player Award.

17HR , 39BB and 41K in 56 games. Propitious beginnings to be sure.

Edit: Link

Worthleast fucked around with this message at 20:56 on Nov 4, 2017

Popete
Oct 6, 2009

This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs

Grimey Drawer
So cause Boon didn't sign with the Padres did he not play this year? I see he has stats in the minor league category but I'm not sure if that's for high school or what.

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe

IcePhoenix posted:

That shouldn't matter, are you sure you gave him experience at the position? Someone could have an 80 skill somewhere but if they have zero experience there the game still won't rate them.

It was definitely being a lefty, as soon as I switched throwing arm his rating came back. You can play 1B and OF as a lefty but nowhere else now I guess....

Popete posted:

So cause Boon didn't sign with the Padres did he not play this year? I see he has stats in the minor league category but I'm not sure if that's for high school or what.

Yeah those are his college stats; he'll develop for another year in college and back in the draft next year. This actually usually works out pretty well.

Also goon player list is here, I don't know why they're not hyperlinked and I don't know how to do that.

bewbies fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Nov 4, 2017

Blind Pineapple
Oct 27, 2010

For The Perfect Fruit 'n' Kaman

1 part gin
1 part pomegranate syrup
Fill with pineapple juice
Serve over crushed ice

College Slice
Cal Slidell got drafted in the second round by the Indians and spent the season in A ball for the Lake County Captains, who won their division. He had a solid year hitting .271 with 12 homers. He was listed as the #13 player in the Midwest League.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute
:lol: the Blue Jays drafted Dugnutt 20th overall. I remind you he is a relief pitching prospect who throws one pitch. Thin draft class, or :canada:?

He apparently chilled all year in rookie league and was 3-2 with a 1.96 ERA in 18 IP of work, and is "Possibly ready for single A". Slowly but surely Bobson, slowly but surely.

e. bewbies I checked out his page, and it says he throws an awesome changeup but a terrible fastball. I assume it's not possible to make a pitcher who doesn't throw a fastball since it's default?

Der Meister
May 12, 2001

Name: Kris “Clown” Karney
DOB: 01-15
Height/Weight: 6'4"/220lb
Throws/Bats: R/L
Position: P
Country/City of birth: San Diego, CA
Background: High school prospect

Player profile: Born the son of an MLB player, always had high expectations. In high school has developed into a top pitching prospect. Dad always wanted him to be a center fielder; this causes a lot of family drama. 3 plus pitches including ++ fastball. Good stamina. Occasional control issues. Reminds some of Nolan Ryan. Rumored to have a drinking problem.

Der Meister fucked around with this message at 19:41 on Nov 4, 2017

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


Name: Sven Euchre
DOB: 8/26
Height/Weight: 5'11, 175
Throws/Bats: R/L
Position: C
Country/City of birth: USA/Milwaukee, WI
Background: College Prospect

Player Profile: Solidly average hitter and baserunner, great at preventing passed balls and wild pitches (a knuckleball catcher, really), decent at gunning down base stealers.

Carlosologist
Oct 13, 2013

Revelry in the Dark

Name: James World-Peace
DOB: June 12th
Height/Weight: 6'3, 210
Throws/Bats: L/S
Position: OF, but primarily CF
Country/City of birth: United States, New York City
Background: High school prospect

Player profile: One of the best prospects to come out of New York City in a very long time. Rocket arm, great instincts in the field. The bat has potential for 25 homers, but the main skill that needs work is contact. Great eye, sometimes too passive in hitter's counts to try and run up the pitch count. Grew up in Spanish Harlem, so he is truly a diamond in the rough and a man of the people. An overall jolly and affable player, he's great in the clubhouse. Hence the name!

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

Name: "Slim" Jim McCrenshawbergssen
DOB: Oct 13
Height/Weight: 6'4, 220
Throws/Bats: R/R
Position: 3B also OF/1B
Country/City of birth: Iceland
Background: College Prospect

Big arm and big bat with big strikeouts, acceptable D.

Does not speak English, quick to anger.

SilvergunSuperman fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Nov 4, 2017

Inspector_666
Oct 7, 2003

benny with the good hair
Moshe got drafted by the Red Sox?! GODAMMIT.

Here's his page. Hell of a platoon split so far in the GCL...

But a 5:1 K:BB ratio, he's doing pretty much exactly what I hoped for.

Inspector_666 fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Nov 4, 2017

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe

Sydin posted:


e. bewbies I checked out his page, and it says he throws an awesome changeup but a terrible fastball. I assume it's not possible to make a pitcher who doesn't throw a fastball since it's default?

correct, all players have a fastball, even fat DHs

Doltos
Dec 28, 2005

🤌🤌🤌
Where's the Scottish baseball league??

Explosionface
May 30, 2011

We can dance if we want to,
we can leave Marle behind.
'Cause your fiends don't dance,
and if they don't dance,
they'll get a Robo Fist of mine.


I'm glad Tempus got taken as the 11th overall, even if he went to the White Sox. The almost $3M signing bonus helps, of course.

secular woods sex
Aug 1, 2000
I dispense wisdom by the gallon.
Oh hell yeah, Frankenstein went 1-1 to the Twins - and then herniated a disc two weeks later.

Ergo Propter Hog
Jul 21, 2014



2nd overall ain't bad, plus he's apparently mr. :c00l:

Popete
Oct 6, 2009

This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs

Grimey Drawer
Boon "Terror" Doggle opting to take the "If you're not first you're last" route and declined an offer from the Padres as the 3rd pick overall. He'll go back to play college ball another year where he previously hit .366/.434/.619 last season with 17 HR and 26 SB in 59 games.

True to his projections he's a high contact gap hitter with good plate discipline whose gonna steal a ton of bags. Power looks good in college so far but it's not projected to translate in the minors/majors.

Popete fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Nov 5, 2017

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute

bewbies posted:

correct, all players have a fastball, even fat DHs

Cool, I'll just have to live with the fact that he occasionally throws a terrible shitball to give the batter another look.

Also here's Bobson Dugnutt's character page. Those speed and bunting stats :stare:

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



Name: Irving Washington (No relation to Washington Irving)
DOB: 1/17
Height/Weight: 6'0'' 205 Lbs
Throws/Bats: R/R
Position: 3B / Infield
Country/City of birth: Saint Paul MN
Background: High School Prospect

Profile: If Michael Cuddyer played 3B, above average contact, above average Power, average fielding, Good arm strength, average speed.

MrChips
Jun 10, 2005

FLIGHT SAFETY TIP: Fatties out first

Is it too late to enter a player?

Mike Truk
DOB: 22 August
Height/Weight: 6'1 215 lb
Bats: Switch
Throws: Left
Position: OF/1B
City/Country of Birth: Edmonton AB
Background: HS prospect

Mike is a TTO-type hitter, with lots of power on his natural left side (and average-below average on the right), slightly above average contact on the left and average on the right, average speed and good fielding in his somewhat limited range, hence why he mostly plays first base. He is very competitive and has been known to be a bit of a loudmouthed hot-head on the field...think like Kevin Youkilis, but looking more like a human being and less like an adult-sized baby.

Oh, he's also injury-prone, with crappy knees and ankles which will probably mean he will end up DHing or worse before he's 35.

MrChips fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Nov 4, 2017

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe
2018 cohort:

Tonya Guitar
Argul MacCleod
Marvelous Trent
Joseph "Get" Money
Lennothy "Lenny" Meager
Washington Irving
Sandwich Montoya
Hank Meachem
Larry Leftball
Jonathan Cameron
William "Willie-X" Eckstein-Bloomquist
Jack Worthy
Bike Snout
Kris "Clown" Karney
Sven Euchre

Also, HALL OF FAME VOTING

You can vote for up to 10 players, any player that gets more than 5 (I think, we'll see how many people submit ballots) votes will be on the goon ballot. Just list your player votes in bold. There is shall we say a bit of a HoF backlog.





bewbies fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Nov 4, 2017

Ambassador of Funk
Aug 2, 2009

Whenever I'm put to the test, I'm gonna ace it.

Sydin posted:

Cool, I'll just have to live with the fact that he occasionally throws a terrible shitball to give the batter another look.

Also here's Bobson Dugnutt's character page. Those speed and bunting stats :stare:

I for one am eager to see the career path of Trevor Hoffman 2.0.

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE


bewbies posted:

Also, HALL OF FAME VOTING

Barry "Barrold" Bonds
Roger "Roger" Clemens
Vlad "The Dad" Guerrero
Chipper "Chuck" Jones
Mike "East Side" Mussina
Jim "Good To His Mother" Thome
Johan "Died For Our Sins" Santana
Trevor "Good I Guess" Hoffman
Gary "Wobbles" Sheffield
Larry "Maple Leaf" Walker

Ammat The Ankh
Sep 7, 2010

Now, attempt to defeat me!
And I shall become a living legend!

bewbies posted:

HALL OF FAME VOTING

Barry Bonds
Roger Clemens
Vlad Guerrero
Trevor Hoffman
Edgar Martinez
Jim Thome
Chipper Jones
Andruw Jones
Manny Ramirez
Gary Sheffield

Zigmidge
May 12, 2002

Exsqueeze me, why the sour face? I'm here to lemon aid you. Let's juice it.
Is the website still uploading and causing weirdness? I can't find my player's card. Clicking on Pat Martin in the draft page brings me to Miguel Rivero instead.

secular woods sex
Aug 1, 2000
I dispense wisdom by the gallon.
Barry Bonds
Roger Clemens
Vladimir Guerrero
Chipper Jones
Edgar Martinez
Mike Mussina
Manny Ramirez
Jim Thome
Gary Sheffield
Larry Walker

naginalJJ
Feb 10, 2007

Baby, looks like a dance epidemic to me
I'm seeing things I thought I'd never see
Dance epidemic tonight
Name: Town "Fort" Knox
DOB: March 25
Height/Weight: 6' 2" 300 lbs
Throws/Bats: R/S
Position: SP
Country/City of birth: Abilene, TX, USA
Background: High school prospect

Player profile: Only cares about trying to make opposing hitters look ridiculous. Has a 100+ MPH fastball and a nasty 60 MPH Knuckleball. Has a single-minded drive to get as many strikeouts as possible, not caring what anyone else thinks. Hates being pulled and would try to keep pitching even if his arm literally fell off.

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bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe

Zigmidge posted:

Is the website still uploading and causing weirdness? I can't find my player's card. Clicking on Pat Martin in the draft page brings me to Miguel Rivero instead.

It looks like it is working for me; let me know if it is still strange:


http://www.cowace2.com/OOTP/players/player_50015.html

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